Just Give Me the Words to Say

[Michelle]

I am so freaked out right now
you guys are the only ones that can understand what i am going through
i just read on a parents FB post ( I know i shouldn't do this but i just wanted to share awesome videos all at once with all the parents.... it's been great until tonight)
anyways, this parents just posted that her kid was almost hit by a car on a very busy highway while walking with her...she is 20 months and I guess mom didn't feel the need to hold her hand, anyway she just said " it was so scary I cried and she cried and she said " I wont do it again"
I am like " WHAT THE HELL?'
Sorry but I have had this kid since birth and taken her everywhere with 10 other kids to every museum, zoo, science center and park and NEVER have come close to this kind of irresponsibility, she has an older child and I have had her since a toddler
what should I do?
because she does not believe in any kind of spankings for any reasons or discipline
she is the " this makes me sad" era
what would you do?
again...this happened on the parents watch
I just love this baby and don't want to go to another kid funeral

[Josiegirl]

The way I see it is you nod and say nothing when she tells you the whole story, which I would imagine she will. OR tactfully suggest she should be holding her dd's hand, that SHE needs to step up and be the parent, for her dd's sake. I know it's not our place to parent while the child's not with us but sometimes something has to be said to show them it's perfectly ok to be considered the 'bad guy' when you're the parent. We're not their best buddies, we're their parents. Parents these days, I feel, are so confused by all the new age guidance 'out there' that they're afraid to say no. Give me a good old-fashioned mom or dad who has no problem stepping in as the authority figure. I have so much respect for them!
Maybe this scare might wake her up?

[Baby Beluga]

The way I see it is you nod and say nothing when she tells you the whole story, which I would imagine she will. OR tactfully suggest she should be holding her dd's hand, that SHE needs to step up and be the parent, for her dd's sake. I know it's not our place to parent while the child's not with us but sometimes something has to be said to show them it's perfectly ok to be considered the 'bad guy' when you're the parent. We're not their best buddies, we're their parents. Parents these days, I feel, are so confused by all the new age guidance 'out there' that they're afraid to say no. Give me a good old-fashioned mom or dad who has no problem stepping in as the authority figure. I have so much respect for them!
Maybe this scare might wake her up?

Can I also just say how often I see this while out running errands and it drives me batty! And usually the child is either numerous feet in front of or behind the parent. It's so unsafe. Even if you have the most obedient child, accidents still happen. I still make my almost 5 year old hold my hand in parking lots and when crossing streets. In the store she is required to have one hand on the cart handle at all times.

OP, did mom happen to say why she doesn't make her child hold her hand?

[daycarediva]

Can I also just say how often I see this while out running errands and it drives me batty! And usually the child is either numerous feet in front of or behind the parent. It's so unsafe. Even if you have the most obedient child, accidents still happen. I still make my almost 5 year old hold my hand in parking lots and when crossing streets. In the store she is required to have one hand on the cart handle at all times.

OP, did mom happen to say why she doesn't make her child hold her hand?

I still hold my 8yo's hand in parking lots and crossing streets. He has adhd and 'ohh look a squirrel!'...

UNACCEPTABLE.

[Michelle]

Can I also just say how often I see this while out running errands and it drives me batty! And usually the child is either numerous feet in front of or behind the parent. It's so unsafe. Even if you have the most obedient child, accidents still happen. I still make my almost 5 year old hold my hand in parking lots and when crossing streets. In the store she is required to have one hand on the cart handle at all times.

OP, did mom happen to say why she doesn't make her child hold her hand?

she just says, she usually does good walking on the sidewalk.

[Michelle]

in her Fb post she said she ran out to get her and they were both almost hit. I am praying that this was her wake up call

[Blackcat31]

I am so freaked out right now
you guys are the only ones that can understand what i am going through
i just read on a parents FB post ( I know i shouldn't do this but i just wanted to share awesome videos all at once with all the parents.... it's been great until tonight)
anyways, this parents just posted that her kid was almost hit by a car on a very busy highway while walking with her...she is 20 months and I guess mom didn't feel the need to hold her hand, anyway she just said " it was so scary I cried and she cried and she said " I wont do it again"
I am like " WHAT THE HELL?'
Sorry but I have had this kid since birth and taken her everywhere with 10 other kids to every museum, zoo, science center and park and NEVER have come close to this kind of irresponsibility, she has an older child and I have had her since a toddler
what should I do?
because she does not believe in any kind of spankings for any reasons or discipline
she is the " this makes me sad" era
what would you do?
again...this happened on the parents watch
I just love this baby and don't want to go to another kid funeral

I am not understanding why you need to do anything ?

Like you said, this didn't happen on your watch.

You read it on Facebook.
I am rarely surprised anymore at what things are posted openly there...

I also don't see the connection between how you do things when you take all your daycare kids on a field trip verses how she does things as a parent. :confused:

The fact that you've been lucky enough to never have had something like this happens simply means you are more experienced than she is.

Parents only experience each age and stage of development once or one step at a time whereas providers always have access to or are experiencing all ages and stages while providing care.

I think you should just leave it alone.

It was posted on the parent's FB page and not directed to you, brought to you for advice or suggestions nor was it something the parent shared privately with you either.

There is enough drama in the world.
I wouldn't go looking for it.

[Michelle]

The way I see it is you nod and say nothing when she tells you the whole story, which I would imagine she will. OR tactfully suggest she should be holding her dd's hand, that SHE needs to step up and be the parent, for her dd's sake. I know it's not our place to parent while the child's not with us but sometimes something has to be said to show them it's perfectly ok to be considered the 'bad guy' when you're the parent. We're not their best buddies, we're their parents. Parents these days, I feel, are so confused by all the new age guidance 'out there' that they're afraid to say no. Give me a good old-fashioned mom or dad who has no problem stepping in as the authority figure. I have so much respect for them!
Maybe this scare might wake her up?

I know I totally agree
I have people telling me all the time that i am too overprotective but at least my kids are alive to complain about it.

[daycarediva]

I never take my dck's anywhere. We don't leave the site. We no longer go for walks. We don't go on driving field trips. I do not transport at all. EVER.

Many parents enroll in my program see that as a perk. Safety, car seat safety, insurance, liability. It's just not worth it.

When I worked outside the home, I enrolled my children with a provider who did not transport because of these same issues.

I only speak up when asked for my opinion or it's a safety issue for ME. Eg. when a child runs away from the parent and they're near the road. I specifically tell a parent you MUST hold their hand or carry them to the car.

[Baby Beluga]

I never take my dck's anywhere. We don't leave the site. We no longer go for walks. We don't go on driving field trips. I do not transport at all. EVER.

Many parents enroll in my program see that as a perk. Safety, car seat safety, insurance, liability. It's just not worth it.

When I worked outside the home, I enrolled my children with a provider who did not transport because of these same issues.

I only speak up when asked for my opinion or it's a safety issue for ME. Eg. when a child runs away from the parent and they're near the road. I specifically tell a parent you MUST hold their hand or carry them to the car.

Sadly I am the same. I read about providers taking their DCK's places and am jealous. I would love be able to incorporate that into my program, but the liability just isn't worth it. I also have one parent who enrolled because I do not transport or travel with children, it was important to her to find a provider that did not. We go in the backyard and occasionally the front if it is for a special occasion.

[midaycare]

I am not understanding why you need to do anything ?

Like you said, this didn't happen on your watch.

You read it on Facebook.
I am rarely surprised anymore at what things are posted openly there...

I also don't see the connection between how you do things when you take all your daycare kids on a field trip verses how she does things as a parent. :confused:

The fact that you've been lucky enough to never have had something like this happens simply means you are more experienced than she is.

Parents only experience each age and stage of development once or one step at a time whereas providers always have access to or are experiencing all ages and stages while providing care.

I think you should just leave it alone.

It was posted on the parent's FB page and not directed to you, brought to you for advice or suggestions nor was it something the parent shared privately with you either.

There is enough drama in the world.
I wouldn't go looking for it.

A million times, yes. That sounds like an attention seeking fb post. Don't engage. Even if it's not, it's really none of your business.

[Crazy Baby]

I have to agree with Blackcat. If it happened off of your clock then it is out of your control. I agree that the mother should be more careful and hold the child's hand, but it is not your place to get involved, IMO.

[Gemma]

she just says, she usually does good walking on the sidewalk.

I would never base my trust on what a child "usually" does...children are unpredictable...anyone should know that!

[Ariana]

This might have been embellished for facebook dramatic effect as well so keep that in mind

I would just be happy the kid was ok!! No point in judging or chastizing her since it sounded like an accident (albeit a preventable one) and she sounds like she learned her lesson.

[happymom]

I never take my dck's anywhere. We don't leave the site. We no longer go for walks. We don't go on driving field trips. I do not transport at all. EVER.

Many parents enroll in my program see that as a perk. Safety, car seat safety, insurance, liability. It's just not worth it.

When I worked outside the home, I enrolled my children with a provider who did not transport because of these same issues.

I only speak up when asked for my opinion or it's a safety issue for ME. Eg. when a child runs away from the parent and they're near the road. I specifically tell a parent you MUST hold their hand or carry them to the car.

To me, this is important. My last daycare began transporting kids (to and from her daughter's kindergarten) and I was incredibly uncomfortable with that. I miss her so much, but my son goes to a different daycare now.