Is This What Daycare Used to Be Like?

[Mike]

I can't give input from the daycare side of things, but have definitely seen changes in parenting over the years.

Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.

No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book. I did not pick the title...

That's ok. Back then, fathers didn't do as much with the kids because their main job was to be the breadwinner, and back then, male daycare was pretty much non-existent. I first got interested in the idea of doing daycare about 9 years ago, and just in the last 9 years I can see huge changes in the acceptance of that idea.

[lovemydaycare0912]

My mom didn't necessarily do daycare, but she watched neighbor's grandchildren. This was 12 years ago. She charged 150 for a 1 year old for maybe 2 years. He was at our house I wanna say 730 or 830 until maybe 500 or 530. His sister was around 10 at the time, she went to middle school with me and we she came over my house when school was done for free. My mom had no handbook, contract, or anything. This lady paid her on time always, and was never late picking up. This family is actually more like my own family now. I attended the girl's wedding a few years ago and the boy is now 13!

[daycarediva]

Ironically, this was the topic of discussion on a recent hike with my kids (young adults). They brought up the idea of whether we (global we) are actually part of an ongoing social experiment by Zuckerburg types.

They mentioned that science and tech minded kids often felt cut off in social group situations and "online social groups" changed the skillset needed to be "popular" thus flipping the script on previously accepted/rewarded social standards.

That once the script was flipped the old standards lost their social value. New values had to replace them. Home, family and relationships now seem too menial. "Only" a mother, wife, husband, father is simply not enough. (With the horrifying example that more people know who Kim Kardashian is than Carole Mundell.)

That what I do for a living now is sad unless I get to go travel, learn, explore and "do something" later. They were proud of my previous job in public service as that was challenging. That they love me, but want to do more with their lives. It went deeper and I got lost a few times, but it was an intriguing conversation.

It was not meant to be hurtful, they were blissfully unaware that it might have been. I want them to "do more", too. That is what my career choices were all about to begin with. Maybe they will get that later...

Very interesting how the majority of tech savvy careers have low tech kids. Eg. Steve jobs http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/11/fa...rent.html?_r=0

Makes you wonder, for sure!

[Cat Herder]

Very interesting how the majority of tech savvy careers have low tech kids. Eg. Steve jobs http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/11/fa...rent.html?_r=0

Makes you wonder, for sure!

Interesting article. Ugh, it does make you question your parenting choices. Out here there is not a lot of access to unbiased education. Everything is censored, pages torn out of textbooks, permission slips for different topics only to have the teacher refuse to teach them.

I allowed almost constant use of Khans and many other educational sites. I used K-12 online school in conjunction with public school. I wanted them to have a more complete education. One I did not have.

What I did not know was apparently what I could not have known. I got my first computer the same day my kids did. I guess we will be the generation gap that they study...

[Pestle]

I think that yes, after the big feminism revolution, the housekeeping/SAHM thing got a lot of flak, it wasn't "enough". But now, I'm seeing a lot of stuff online that is showing a backlash at that mentality, which is great!
People are realizing that it wasn't about switching sides (home vs career)-- it's about the freedom to choose what YOU want for your own life. Some people want careers, some want home/family life, and some want both.
It's been a conversation going on for decades.... Sadly, I think it'll continue going on for a long time, before homemaking gets the respect it deserves, and career moms likewise get respect and no judgement

I know! I had a working single mom, so I took care of myself and my little brother at home starting when I was 8. Not quite typical, but not so weird in the '80s and '90s. When I was an office employee, it was so hard to find care that was even open during regular office hours--most day cares and preschools don't accommodate a standard 8-5 parent workday. I couldn't understand the moms who dropped their kids off late at school, while wearing jogging outfits on a weekday, and picked up early. I mean, why have your 2-year-old in a school program anyway if you have all that time and money to teach them yourself?

After 3 years of the stress of rushing out the door, spending all day away from my child, worrying what the boss was thinking about having a mother on staff, worrying about getting a call from the day care or the school, rushing to pick her up, being stuck in traffic all the way home, wolfing down supper and going straight to bed . . . I said, "Forget this. I'm going to be the person caring for the kids."

So I open my daycare, and what does my 2nd enrolled family do? Drop their kids off with me all day so they can go boating. :confused: So, I've felt the pain on both sides of this issue, and I totally judge the other parents on both sides, too.

[Ariana]

Interesting discussion!!

Parenting in my opinion is harder today than it used to be. We have so much information and research at our finger tips showing us how much we are screwing up and how messed up our kids will be if we don't do XYZ. My mom would open the door and we would play outside ALL DAY! She didn't have to really take care of us. She was free to cook and clean without much interruption. We got fed and clothed but we played outside on our own a lot. Nowadays my kids have no one to play with outside because no one is outside anymore. We have kids on our street that I see maybe once or twice a year! There are no stay at home moms anymore and no one trusts anyone. Therefore my kids are with me 24/7 which can be stressful. Sure they go and play but it is not the same as if they had lots of friends outside running around. My mom didn't have parenting books and the internet telling her what to do and what not to do...she never worried about her kids growing up and having problems or mental issues etc. She was completely ignorant to it!

I just read an article that was saying that sensory issues are stemming from lack of unstructured play time outside in nature. I would LOVE to provide that for my kids but HOW? There are no other kids around, the forest is about a mile from my house. I can see why so many parents choose daycare. It helps fullfill the void that is created by the type pf society we are living in where no kids are outside and we keep to ourselves, not to mention the desperate need to work.

My parents live 5 seconds from my house and they rarely take the kids. As someone else was saying they truly are the me me me generation in my opinion. They never had to experience parenting the way we did, with constant scrutiny and lack of resources and trust. Daycare nowadays is a business whereas before it was much more like babysitting.

[Dardy]

daycare in the 80's and 90's

I have been doing daycare for nearly 30 yrs and it's true the manuals were a few pages. Government regulations have run many home daycares out of business. I did not used to charge for time off, but I was losing money. I would have planned meals and then the child would not show up. I now charge for absent days and they pay 1/2 rate if 2 wk notice is given of vaca. I get a 2 wk paid vaca each year. I have taught preschool for the same amt of time and I do it year round. I start at age 1 and used to charge additional tuition(eliminated) but recently raised my rates to cover costs. The parents do not want their child to miss a lesson and neither do I. I use a state approved curriculum and have never had an opening in my business go for more than 24hrs.

[crogers]

Child Care, through the years…

Yes, things have changed so much in early education. After 29 years in this field, I see a desperate need for quality care. The policy manual has been filled with more and more policies due to the constant increase of regulations from government organizations. This had made it pretty much impossible for home providers to survive. The days of opening up your home out of love for children and to fill a big need for working parents are over. We hear so many negative stories of in-home care, we never hear of the positives Then there are folks out there just waiting to sue somebody over anything. Yes, this business has grown! About charging tuition regardless of attendance: We have 34 teachers in our center, we offer them benefits: a monthly salary, paid vacation and sick leave, insurance options, and a pension plan. We have to charge our parents a monthly tuition rate that is due no matter their attendance, in order to keep our staff. Otherwise, the turnover would be terrible. I know we are fortunate to be able to offer these benefits. Other centers cannot even begin to consider offering benefits until they can count on a consistent flow of income they can budget for. If you treat your staff with respect, get to know them and care about them, pay them as much as your budget allows, the rewards will pay off.
As a parent myself, I know being able to leave my children for a few hours with another person that I trusted made me a better Mom!
Also, we need to think of this profession as, just that, a profession! We are professionals, or should work to be! The term "daycare" has a negative connotation to it; we care for the child, not for the day. We should think of ourselves as Early Childhood Education Centers. Set your expectations high!
I would love to find a copy of the book mentioned. I might need to lay off the coffee myself! Thanks for your thoughts!

[Cat Herder]

I would love to find a copy of the book mentioned.

Check amazon under "other sellers" Many still have it under $15. For some reason many have hiked them up to over $100 since yesterday. ::

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Check amazon under "other sellers" Many still have it under $15. For some reason many have hiked them up to over $100 since yesterday. ::

They better give you a piece of that pie for your promotion efforts!

[Cat Herder]

They better give you a piece of that pie for your promotion efforts!

:::: Nah, I really just liked it. My other current fav's are:

Einstein Never Used Flashcards: Hirsh-Pasek, Golinkoff, and Eyer

Finding your smile again: Johnson

Standardized Childhood: Fuller

Mindset: Dweck

[Febby]

Growing up in the 90's, my mom was a SAHM. However, I did go to daycare for a half day once per week because there was a home daycare next door and my mom watched the daycare lady's kids after school. I'm pretty sure my mom spent my daycare time taking a nap and catching up on cleaning most of the time.

I also remember being dropped off with my grandparents for most of a day around Christmas and my birthday.

I've always worked in centers and I haven't even been in child care for that many years, but I know I didn't used to always still have the majority of my class during the last 30 minutes of the day. I looked at my attendance sheets earlier today and most of my kids are dropped off between 6:30 and 7:15 AM but don't leave until 5:30-6:00 PM. That's a long time for those kids.

[nannyde]

I started in 93 and ran until April of 2014

21 years and it changed quite a bit in that time. But... this happens in every business.

I think the biggest change has been the behavior of the parents. It became increasingly difficult to find well behaved parents.

The education thing didn't really affect me. I offered babysitting and didn't promote an early childhood education but rather CARE. When I reopen I will stick with CARE.

I've never been interested in early childhood education. I think there are so many other things that are so much more important like healthy chemical free home made food, exercise, discipline, a good long deep sleep mid day, PRECICE careful supervision with immediate correction for safety and behavior, an adult who digs your kid and would give their life for them at any time for any reason, self entertainment, and a killer toy collection that doesn't include a single toy that DOES something.

To me, that's what nets great kids.

We need to start asking Kindy teachers what they see with the incoming generation. What makes their classrooms work? What makes them love the kids and their jobs. They are the greatest resource for telling us what works best once the kid goes to school and they are never asked.

Do you want a kid who knows colors, numbers, shapes, or can read... or do you want a kid who respects you, who is well rested, who knows how to function without ****ing the life out of you each second?

Do you want a scholar or do you want a sweetie who is kind to the others, who knows when to come forward and when to take a seat and let the others shine?

Do you want a kid who has to have something to make or a kid who can make something of nothing?

What works? We want to know....

[Unregistered]

I operated from 1988 to 1998. I had a one page contract the parents signed. Re-opened in 2013 in a different town but close by. A very rural area.

I was regulated the entire time, was on the food program, had added on a large two room addition for my program.

I offered daily preschool activities and centers but was still mainly play based.very little with abc's and numbers and more about songs, stories, puppetry, creative art, etc. I LOVED going to ECE conferences and trainings.

Parents paid after their child had missed five days. Not one parent ever complained about that.

I never had to term a family.

I was open from 5:30am to 5:30 pm!! Ahhhh.... But it didn't bother me a bit. The children who came that early ( a bother and sister) went right back to sleep.

For about a year I had two sisters who came in the evening. Mom was a waitress afternoon/evening (part time). And for about a year I had two children come on Sat. Morning! But it never bothered me.

I never once had a licensor visit except for the initial visit in ten years!!!

I never had a family not pay me at the end of the week. Never had any issues with any parent. I became very close friends with some.

I only had two children in all those who were a behavior problem!

I did not get paid if I was closed. I rarely closed and never took a vacation. I did have someone come twice a week for a few hours so I could get out of the house.

I was part of a head start family child care pilot program for two of the years.

I was registered for six under school age ( my own kids didn't count from kindergarten on ) and five school age. Most years I was full. Only one year I wasn't.

[Josiegirl]

Right?! For how "connected" we are, we are so disconnected as a family or community unit

This brings to mind dramatic play the older kids directed this summer. They made the whole playroom into a restaurant, with some really awesome details. I was admiring their creativity. Then I saw they had drawn pictures and taped them to this board, set it beside the table. Yep, they even created their own TV, complete with pictures of Sponge Bob. We had a nice discussion as to why anyone would pay money to go enjoy a nice dinner at a restaurant, to be with family, only to watch tv.

I've seen tons of change within the family unit, and child care in my 33 yrs. Parents were more responsible for their own children back then(as has been discussed), kids weren't dropped off here, there and everywhere. Parents didn't try and sneak sick kids into dc. It's been transitioning more and more into a mememe society. Kids come first, to me. I try not to take time off when I'm sick unless it's unavoidable. But when my own kids were sick, you can bet it was a whole lot easier to call out. I know parents have to juggle a lot, so did I; my job was just a little different as to what needed to be juggled.

Kids are only little for so long, IMO families should do what's best for raising their children, AT LEAST until they're in school. I have dcks who are virtually screaming to their parents for attention. They want special time with them, they want to feel loved, needed, secure, special in their family. That is really hard to achieve when dcps are soooo involved with work, on and off the clock. So what I see with the dcks is demanding time for attention, struggling to be heard and noticed, and we all know what that can do for behavior issues.

BC, I'm curious what you meant when you said both parents didn't HAVE to work back in the 80's 90's?
You might have already discussed it, I didn't read everything.

Within dc, I find the support system to be much better than it ever was but their expectations are getting beyond ridiculous. I did much more with the kids before the rules demanded all the paperwork that they do. And of course the liability goes without saying; not just due to injuries(which have to be documented up the yingyang)but if a child goes home saying a bad word, or with a cold or a new habit, it all gets questioned. Parents back then just knew yep, this happens. Parents now need to know all the details and who to blame; maybe from guilt? IDK