Is This What Daycare Used to Be Like?

[nanglgrl]

I the early 90's when I did my first stint of home daycare it was much simpler. Most of my clients were lower income but didn't try to take advantage of subsidy. They only had their children in daycare when needed as far as I know (really though it could just be that I couldn't see they weren't at work on social media). I never remember having to coddle a parent, I had no contract and only basic info on each child and daycare was more like babysitting (I'm ashamed to say it but I watched my soaps while they played) they also watched a lot of Barney back then. Parents were more willing to travel across town to send their children somewhere they liked. The state was basically not even involved.
The biggest change for me over the last 15 years (my second stint at daycare) has been what's expected of me and the pressure put on children to do things be it potty training or basic learning. I feel like most think all social skills, potty training and learning should happen here even though I only have them about 4 waking hours a day. People used to call me babysitter (I didn't mind) and now they call me teacher (I don't like it).
It seems parents have switched from wanting a provider that's like a family member in a home environment to wanting a center like atmosphere and less of a personal connection to the provider. We did strive to be seen as professionals.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Just had to say:
I've loved this topic and reading people's perspectives and opinions about the changes over the years.

It's something that's been on my mind too.
For how "connected" we are to the world via internet, text, social media, etc... it's so disheartening to see core family values changing so much.

Right?! For how "connected" we are, we are so disconnected as a family or community unit

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Just thought of another question! I know that regulations have increased and providers have more requirements than they did before. Do you think this, the government regulation, has impacted daycare in a negative way? Like, making it more expensive fro those who cannot qualify for assistance? Or, make it less accessible to find caregivers because they don't want to deal with the laws?

[Cat Herder]

Right?! For how "connected" we are, we are so disconnected as a family or community unit

Ironically, this was the topic of discussion on a recent hike with my kids (young adults). They brought up the idea of whether we (global we) are actually part of an ongoing social experiment by Zuckerburg types.

They mentioned that science and tech minded kids often felt cut off in social group situations and "online social groups" changed the skillset needed to be "popular" thus flipping the script on previously accepted/rewarded social standards.

That once the script was flipped the old standards lost their social value. New values had to replace them. Home, family and relationships now seem too menial. "Only" a mother, wife, husband, father is simply not enough. (With the horrifying example that more people know who Kim Kardashian is than Carole Mundell.)

That what I do for a living now is sad unless I get to go travel, learn, explore and "do something" later. They were proud of my previous job in public service as that was challenging. That they love me, but want to do more with their lives. It went deeper and I got lost a few times, but it was an intriguing conversation.

It was not meant to be hurtful, they were blissfully unaware that it might have been. I want them to "do more", too. That is what my career choices were all about to begin with. Maybe they will get that later...

[TXhomedaycare]

This is a very interesting topic and I am enjoying seeing the responses. I have not been doing home daycare long but I spend a lot of my time feeling sorry for kids today. I read an article yesterday that what titled Why My Kids Are Better Off In Daycare. There were literally hundreds of responses from moms stating that they are better parents because they take their kids to daycare. Most of the time when I see mom articles I only see complaining, defending poor choices, making excuses and only thinking of themselves. How do parents (both mom and dad) not realize that it is not about them once they decide to have kids. My husband and kids come first and I schedule time for myself when I can but they are my priority. I chose to have kids and it is my job/responsibility (and they are counting on me) to take care of them and prepare them for the future. I quit my job and started a home daycare because I refuse to leave that job up to someone else. I was raised old school and still have that mentality of no excuses, you take responsibility for your actions and it is not about how you feel you need to treat people fairly and do things right.

My parents are in their 60's and they both still work and they rarely ever ask to watch their grand kids but I don't ask often either because they still work. My parents moved from Ohio and Michigan to Texas before I was born so I never grew up with grandparents that lived close enough to spend time with so I guess I just missed out on that all together. I do remember going to a home daycare and being watched by the parents of childhood friends when my mom was working but my family always ate dinner (homemade)together and my dad took my brother and me out most weekends to have fun and give my mom a break. I got to grow up and watch my mom and dad be a team and they were both involved in our lives and they always expected us to do our best. We seem to be getting further and further away from some of those basic principles and that is what makes it hard to childcare providers.

[Blackcat31]

This is a very interesting topic and I am enjoying seeing the responses. I have not been doing home daycare long but I spend a lot of my time feeling sorry for kids today. I read an article yesterday that what titled Why My Kids Are Better Off In Daycare. There were literally hundreds of responses from moms stating that they are better parents because they take their kids to daycare. Most of the time when I see mom articles I only see complaining, defending poor choices, making excuses and only thinking of themselves. How do parents (both mom and dad) not realize that it is not about them once they decide to have kids. My husband and kids come first and I schedule time for myself when I can but they are my priority. I chose to have kids and it is my job/responsibility (and they are counting on me) to take care of them and prepare them for the future. I quit my job and started a home daycare because I refuse to leave that job up to someone else. I was raised old school and still have that mentality of no excuses, you take responsibility for your actions and it is not about how you feel you need to treat people fairly and do things right.

My parents are in their 60's and they both still work and they rarely ever ask to watch their grand kids but I don't ask often either because they still work. My parents moved from Ohio and Michigan to Texas before I was born so I never grew up with grandparents that lived close enough to spend time with so I guess I just missed out on that all together. I do remember going to a home daycare and being watched by the parents of childhood friends when my mom was working but my family always ate dinner (homemade)together and my dad took my brother and me out most weekends to have fun and give my mom a break. I got to grow up and watch my mom and dad be a team and they were both involved in our lives and they always expected us to do our best. We seem to be getting further and further away from some of those basic principles and that is what makes it hard to childcare providers.

That statement (RED above) is probably the one thing I have the hardest time with because of your other statement (bolded in black).

Often times on this board you will see that reflected in what I post or comment on. The lack of personal responsibility is something I simply can not fathom and more often than not, I feel a lot of the issues in today's world are rooted in the absence of that concept.

I should add that I don't feel parents should live FOR their child...I was more or less commenting on the fact that the only humans that have a right to be so egocentric are those not yet old enough to drive.

[Blackcat31]

Do you think this, the government regulation, has impacted daycare in a negative way?

No. The state regulations my state have not changed all that much really. The only difference between now and when I first opened is safe sleep being taken much more serious than in previous years.

The overall licensing regulations in my state though are pretty simple and haven't gone through too many changes.

yet.


The ONE thing that has changed drastically and had the most impact on me is liability.

Like, making it more expensive fro those who cannot qualify for assistance?

Nope in this area too. Like I said previously the rates in my area haven't changed a whole lot and as a matter of fact, CCAP (child care assistance program) has done the most changing (in and of itself) and the number of families that use CCAP has increased tenfold.

It used to be that the families struggling and needing assistance were like really really dirt poor. Now the majority of families I have in care using assistance drive the newest cars, have college degrees and own their own homes.

They also have the most amount of kids (either within the same set of parents or with the same mother).

Or, make it less accessible to find caregivers because they don't want to deal with the laws?

We are have tons of providers in my area (both legal and illegal) so finding care isn't too tough for most people.

Infants are hard to place but it really isn't due to lack of space but more to do with lack of providers willing to take on an infant. (this is of course a whole 'nother topic )

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Ironically, this was the topic of discussion on a recent hike with my kids (young adults). They brought up the idea of whether we (global we) are actually part of an ongoing social experiment by Zuckerburg types.

They mentioned that science and tech minded kids often felt cut off in social group situations and "online social groups" changed the skillset needed to be "popular" thus flipping the script on previously accepted/rewarded social standards.

That once the script was flipped the old standards lost their social value. New values had to replace them. Home, family and relationships now seem too menial. "Only" a mother, wife, husband, father is simply not enough. (With the horrifying example that more people know who Kim Kardashian is than Carole Mundell.)

That what I do for a living now is sad unless I get to go travel, learn, explore and "do something" later. They were proud of my previous job in public service as that was challenging. That they love me, but want to do more with their lives. It went deeper and I got lost a few times, but it was an intriguing conversation.

It was not meant to be hurtful, they were blissfully unaware that it might have been. I want them to "do more", too. That is what my career choices were all about to begin with. Maybe they will get that later...

Thank you for sharing this and man would I have loved to be a fly on the hiking trail! I love hearing about what younger generations expect from their futures. Years ago, the expectation was to make enough money to feed/care for your family and live comfortably. Now, we need to not only work, but also feed our intellectual side by traveling, holding many degrees, and basically stalling on that whole adulthood concept

You post reminded me sooooo much of a movie I love...Wild, with Reese Witherspoon. There is a scene where she is a young adult in the car with her mom speaking of books they are reading. Reese's character felt her mom's book choices were terrible and for ignorant people and she asked what it like to raise a kid who is so much more sophisticated than her (kind of trying to belittle her). Her mom said that raising her to be a better person than she is was her plan all along. She just didn't realize it would hurt sometimes.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

No. The state regulations my state have not changed all that much really. The only difference between now and when I first opened is safe sleep being taken much more serious than in previous years.

The overall licensing regulations in my state though are pretty simple and haven't gone through too many changes.

yet.


The ONE thing that has changed drastically and had the most impact on me is liability.



Nope in this area too. Like I said previously the rates in my area haven't changed a whole lot and as a matter of fact, CCAP (child care assistance program) has done the most changing (in and of itself) and the number of families that use CCAP has increased tenfold.

It used to be that the families struggling and needing assistance were like really really dirt poor. Now the majority of families I have in care using assistance drive the newest cars, have college degrees and own their own homes.

They also have the most amount of kids (either within the same set of parents or with the same mother).



We are have tons of providers in my area (both legal and illegal) so finding care isn't too tough for most people.

Infants are hard to place but it really isn't due to lack of space but more to do with lack of providers willing to take on an infant. (this is of course a whole 'nother topic )

The liability issue is huge anymore. Was it always this way? Since regulations on sleep and other issues have developed and increased, has the liability of providers gone up as well? It is ironic, since the newer parenting trends seem to condone practices that are not allowed in daycare, per regs. And of course, liability must be the main issue when it comes to infant care. Thaat an the cap on how many kids you can have I would guess, but I almost think the liability and SIDS issue is almost more of a deterrent.:confused:

[Cat Herder]

You post reminded me sooooo much of a movie I love...Wild, with Reese Witherspoon. There is a scene where she is a young adult in the car with her mom speaking of books they are reading. Reese's character felt her mom's book choices were terrible and for ignorant people and she asked what it like to raise a kid who is so much more sophisticated than her (kind of trying to belittle her). Her mom said that raising her to be a better person than she is was her plan all along. She just didn't realize it would hurt sometimes.

Oh, wow, Thank you for that. I will have to ROKU that. Maybe it will prompt more discussions. My biggest fear is that because of their aspirations that a simple life will always feel like failure. What if there are no jobs when they graduate that will support all these big plans. The degrees they talk about don't seem to have big salaries attached to them, plenty of personal satisfaction, though. In my experience being cold, wet and hungry kind of zaps creativity. Will they be the next prozac generation. Time will tell, I guess.

[Pepperth]

Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.

No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book. I did not pick the title...

Thanks for the book recommendation. I just bought it off amazon (like 30 minutes ago. can't wait for it to come in the mail now. ) I don't have anything to add to this discussion, having only been in daycare for a year and a half. However, I'm finding this discussion fascinating.

[childcaremom]

I have not been doing daycare very long. My first stint was when my oldest was young (early 2000s) and now for about the past 6-7 (small closing period in there).

I think this is an interesting convo.

I have not noticed a trend as far as using full daycare hours vs keeping kids home when they are off. I've always dealt with both types of parents. All of my current families are involved parents and spend time with their children (due to my screening process, not trends). I guess my trend would be to increasingly screen for these types of families.

I see a LOT of involved fathers. No difference between then or now.

I'm not licensed so can't comment on any of that. However, I know that in my province, the trend seems to be moving towards having legally unlicensed dayhomes become registered with an agency. It isn't required. Yet.

As far as grandparents, I have seen a few parents who max out their daycare hours here and then max out grandma hours on the weekend, but have gotten better at my screening process so don't see that too much anymore. I do think that spending time with extended families is so important for all parties but I don't have any families now that take advantage of that. All of my current families have local family and grandparents usually take them one or two days a month. These are all younger grandparents who are retired, active and in good health.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Oh, wow, Thank you for that. I will have to ROKU that. Maybe it will prompt more discussions. My biggest fear is that because of their aspirations that a simple life will always feel like failure. What if there are no jobs when they graduate that will support all these big plans. The degrees they talk about don't seem to have big salaries attached to them, plenty of personal satisfaction, though. In my experience being cold, wet and hungry kind of zaps creativity. Will they be the next prozac generation. Time will tell, I guess.

A simple life is hard to promote on facebook Doing laundry, saving money, making dinners...whats glamorous about that! It is not social media worthy, therefore, it is lame

I hope you like the movie, btw. I loved it, but it hit home for me in a lot of ways. The main character (Reese witherspoon) is facing trials in her life, one being her mother passing away, so she decided to hike the Pacific Coast Trail. It is a movie where you may be really bored (not a lot of dialogue) or you will feel strangely connected and it will resonate with you, imo. In relation to your earlier post...Reese spends her young adulthood looking down on her mother for not being something "greater" than just a mom. She resents that she did not have a mother that was stronger, smarter, more ambitious. She spends her time on the trail reflecting on her life and her expectations (and actual reality) of what her mom did for her. (Ironically, it took being out in the middle of nowhere, with no distractions, screens, outside opinions to come to her realizations...funny how that works I loved it and hope you do too!

[Country Kids]

What made you change it up? Were you losing money or feeling taken advantage of or just wanted to a more stable income/business life?

Times and parents have made it change! No way would i be able to make any money on $1.50 an hour and just when they were here.

I'm not a babysitter and have put much time into trainings and my program to become a profession. For this handbooks, better contracts, longer registration forms have been needed.

Not many people last longer than 5-10 years in this business and the ones that do are in it for the long haul and will have the professionalism that you don't see in the stay at home moms wanting a playmate for their child.

[Chickadee-Tree]

A simple life is hard to promote on facebook Doing laundry, saving money, making dinners...whats glamorous about that! It is not social media worthy, therefore, it is lame

These ladies sure promote that stuff on Facebook just fine!

http://www.embracingasimplerlife.com/

http://thehumbledhomemaker.com/

Laundry, saving money, making dinners.... ALL VERY BIG TOPICS on the Internet/blogosphere, with a ton of people blogging about it! So many women, young and old, (and some men too!) are dedicating their talents to the old-fashioned arts of home-making-- the modern twist is, they're using their 'oldschool' passions to fuel modern careers. And they have tons of followers who are just living it (without writing or blogging about it).

I think that yes, after the big feminism revolution, the housekeeping/SAHM thing got a lot of flak, it wasn't "enough". But now, I'm seeing a lot of stuff online that is showing a backlash at that mentality, which is great!
People are realizing that it wasn't about switching sides (home vs career)-- it's about the freedom to choose what YOU want for your own life. Some people want careers, some want home/family life, and some want both.
It's been a conversation going on for decades.... Sadly, I think it'll continue going on for a long time, before homemaking gets the respect it deserves, and career moms likewise get respect and no judgement