Parents, Would You Ask?

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  • Silly Songs
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jun 2014
    • 705

    #16
    Originally posted by Play Care
    I don't believe it's a child's responsibility to keep themselves safe. Kids often behave in nonsensical ways (EJ's post is a great example), it's why competent adult *supervision* and appropriate risk management are key.
    Excellent point ! They are CHILDREN. We can guide them and tell them what to do, but in the end they will be irresponsible and curious. Just because a person tells there child to stay away from guns it doesn't mean another child at that location won't find it and touch it. Then your child is still at risk.

    Comment

    • Mike
      starting daycare someday
      • Jan 2014
      • 2507

      #17
      It is definitely our job to keep children safe, but we do also need to teach them what is and isn't safe, just like we have to teach them how to cross a road, we also have to teach them to not touch a hot stove, or a gun. We do need to teach them what is and isn't a toy. But, even if we taught them everything, we still need to supervise and protect. My reply was in no way leaving out supervision.
      Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
      They are also our future.

      Comment

      • Unregistered

        #18
        As a parent you can ask but I don't have to tell you the truth. What I have or don't have in my home is private.

        I have never had another parent ask though..

        Comment

        • Play Care
          Daycare.com Member
          • Dec 2012
          • 6642

          #19
          Originally posted by Unregistered
          As a parent you can ask but I don't have to tell you the truth. What I have or don't have in my home is private.

          I have never had another parent ask though..
          So you're a liar? :confused:

          A big thing here is to make sure parents will be present if teens are getting together at a home and no alcohol will be accessible. It's not that you can't have it in your home, it's that you behave like a responsible adult and keep your guests safe. Several years ago a local couple was arrested because the were caught hosting their teen sons party. Other parents were furious because they had specifically spoken to this parent and ASKED if there would be supervision and NO alcohol. Thankfully they were arrested and charged, and both took a plea. But worse, everyone in the area now knows they are completely lacking in morals or character.
          You're an adult. "Yes we have firearms but they are kept locked up and inaccessible to kids" isn't a big deal.
          Being dishonest is.
          I do think it's added to a larger trend I've noticed of parents not allowing their kids to friends home for play dates and sleepovers due to poor supervision, etc.

          Comment

          • Blackcat31
            • Oct 2010
            • 36124

            #20
            Originally posted by Unregistered
            As a parent you can ask but I don't have to tell you the truth. What I have or don't have in my home is private.

            I have never had another parent ask though..
            Originally posted by Play Care
            So you're a liar? :confused:

            A big thing here is to make sure parents will be present if teens are getting together at a home and no alcohol will be accessible. It's not that you can't have it in your home, it's that you behave like a responsible adult and keep your guests safe. Several years ago a local couple was arrested because the were caught hosting their teen sons party. Other parents were furious because they had specifically spoken to this parent and ASKED if there would be supervision and NO alcohol. Thankfully they were arrested and charged, and both took a plea. But worse, everyone in the area now knows they are completely lacking in morals or character.
            You're an adult. "Yes we have firearms but they are kept locked up and inaccessible to kids" isn't a big deal.
            Being dishonest is.
            I do think it's added to a larger trend I've noticed of parents not allowing their kids to friends home for play dates and sleepovers due to poor supervision, etc.
            I did not take unregistered post as being a liar or untruthful.

            She/he does NOT have to declare whether or not there are firearms in the home. That is a very private and personal issue (topic) for many and I know for a fact one of the things we were taught in our classes for gun safety and concealed carry is that it is NO ONE's business if you have or do not have firearms in your home.

            Now as a child care, I am required to follow specific state laws and regulations in regards to how I store fire arms if I have them in the home.

            As a parent, if I asked my child's friend's parents if they had firearms in the home and they declined to answer yes or no then MY option as a parent is to not allow MY child to go to that home but I see nothing wrong with not declaring your firearms.

            Saying "Yes we have firearms but they are kept locked up and inaccessible to kids" is telling people you have guns and for many reasons that is simply not something those with gun safety education and CC permits are ever advised to do. (especially considering the current trend/attitudes in regards to this topic.)

            It really is no one's business (other than if you are required by law to declare. ie operating a child care etc).

            That does not make the OP a liar at all.
            If/When I choose to carry, I certainly don't ever tell anyone.

            I understand that this is a hard topic for many and I understand the perspectives are vastly different depending on what area of the country you live in and what your personal feelings are about guns but to me this is similar to the discussion we had on here about prescription medication.

            When a parent asks if you take any prescription medication, the general consensus on this board was that IF and ONLY if licensing required us to disclose, should we. Otherwise it was no one's business if we were or weren't on prescription medication.

            In my eyes it's the same thing. An invasion of privacy.

            Both prescription medication and guns can be deadly and/or dangerous if safety precautions are not taken.

            Do you ask the parents of your children's friends if they take and keep prescription medication in their homes?

            Comment

            • Play Care
              Daycare.com Member
              • Dec 2012
              • 6642

              #21
              Originally posted by Blackcat31
              I did not take unregistered post as being a liar or untruthful.

              She/he does NOT have to declare whether or not there are firearms in the home. That is a very private and personal issue (topic) for many and I know for a fact one of the things we were taught in our classes for gun safety and concealed carry is that it is NO ONE's business if you have or do not have firearms in your home.

              Now as a child care, I am required to follow specific state laws and regulations in regards to how I store fire arms if I have them in the home.

              As a parent, if I asked my child's friend's parents if they had firearms in the home and they declined to answer yes or no then MY option as a parent is to not allow MY child to go to that home but I see nothing wrong with not declaring your firearms.

              Saying "Yes we have firearms but they are kept locked up and inaccessible to kids" is telling people you have guns and for many reasons that is simply not something those with gun safety education and CC permits are ever advised to do. (especially considering the current trend/attitudes in regards to this topic.)

              It really is no one's business (other than if you are required by law to declare. ie operating a child care etc).

              That does not make the OP a liar at all.
              If/When I choose to carry, I certainly don't ever tell anyone.

              I understand that this is a hard topic for many and I understand the perspectives are vastly different depending on what area of the country you live in and what your personal feelings are about guns but to me this is similar to the discussion we had on here about prescription medication.

              When a parent asks if you take any prescription medication, the general consensus on this board was that IF and ONLY if licensing required us to disclose, should we. Otherwise it was no one's business if we were or weren't on prescription medication.

              In my eyes it's the same thing. An invasion of privacy.

              Both prescription medication and guns can be deadly and/or dangerous if safety precautions are not taken.

              Do you ask the parents of your children's friends if they take and keep prescription medication in their homes?
              Unregistered said they didn't have to be truthful...they didn't say they would tell them they don't have to answer that or that they would tell them they felt uncomfortable with the questioning. To me, it's lying. And, this isn't some meth head trying to get to your guns. It's a parent with concerns.
              If a parent said to me "Hey, weird question, but do you keep your meds locked up?" I'd probably reassure them I do. Just as if they asked about if I had alcohol in the house.
              We've had several incidents in our area where improperly stored guns got into the hands of young children with deadly consequences. To me, this is a darned if you do, darned if you don't. If you ask out of concern, you're being nosy and if you don't ask and something terrible happens you're a neglectful parent who should have known...

              Comment

              • Mike
                starting daycare someday
                • Jan 2014
                • 2507

                #22
                Originally posted by Play Care
                Unregistered said they didn't have to be truthful...they didn't say they would tell them they don't have to answer that or that they would tell them they felt uncomfortable with the questioning. To me, it's lying. And, this isn't some meth head trying to get to your guns. It's a parent with concerns.
                If a parent said to me "Hey, weird question, but do you keep your meds locked up?" I'd probably reassure them I do. Just as if they asked about if I had alcohol in the house.
                unregistered did say "I don't have to tell you the truth"
                Maybe they didn't mean it that way, but it had me wondering also.

                The problem is that, like you said:

                Originally posted by Play Care
                We've had several incidents in our area where improperly stored guns got into the hands of young children with deadly consequences. To me, this is a darned if you do, darned if you don't. If you ask out of concern, you're being nosy and if you don't ask and something terrible happens you're a neglectful parent who should have known...
                True, and that's why it is necessary to explain crossing the road, guns, drugs/medication, skunks and so on to children. Unless we hold their hand until they get married, they are going to come across risks in their life. Our job is to teach them about all of the risks.
                Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
                They are also our future.

                Comment

                • Mike
                  starting daycare someday
                  • Jan 2014
                  • 2507

                  #23
                  And often, it is necessary to ask a personal question. We then have to make a decision based on their answer, or how they answer.
                  Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
                  They are also our future.

                  Comment

                  • Blackcat31
                    • Oct 2010
                    • 36124

                    #24
                    Originally posted by Play Care
                    Unregistered said they didn't have to be truthful...they didn't say they would tell them they don't have to answer that or that they would tell them they felt uncomfortable with the questioning. To me, it's lying. And, this isn't some meth head trying to get to your guns. It's a parent with concerns.
                    If a parent said to me "Hey, weird question, but do you keep your meds locked up?" I'd probably reassure them I do. Just as if they asked about if I had alcohol in the house.
                    We've had several incidents in our area where improperly stored guns got into the hands of young children with deadly consequences. To me, this is a darned if you do, darned if you don't. If you ask out of concern, you're being nosy and if you don't ask and something terrible happens you're a neglectful parent who should have known...
                    true. UnReg did say they do not have to be truthful.

                    I guess I just didn't take it the same way.
                    I took it as they didn't HAVE to be truthful, not that they are untruthful when asked.... I was focused on the "whether or not they (those asked) HAVE to answer.... kwim?

                    I think it's invasive to ask.

                    Comment

                    • Mike
                      starting daycare someday
                      • Jan 2014
                      • 2507

                      #25
                      I had a 22 rifle a while back. Friends and relatives knew about it and weren't afraid of their kids being at my house because it was locked up, and the bullets and the bolt were locked in 2 other places. When I babysat for parents who didn't know, if they asked, I would have told them, but I was never asked. One parent, knowing I had one, even asked me to explain the danger of guns to their son because there was a recent news article about an accidental death due to a child who found one and thought it was a play gun. I showed him my gun (less bullets and bolt) and pictures of other types and explained to him to never pick up any gun unless he knows it is a toy.

                      So, back to the OP, I believe children should be taught about guns, age appropriately of course. I believe it should be law everywhere for all guns not currently in use to be locked up safely. I believe we have the right to ask if someone has one and they have the right to answer whatever way they want. And I believe children do have to be properly supervised, and prepared for the day they do start going places without you.
                      Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
                      They are also our future.

                      Comment

                      • Blackcat31
                        • Oct 2010
                        • 36124

                        #26
                        Originally posted by Mike
                        I had a 22 rifle a while back. Friends and relatives knew about it and weren't afraid of their kids being at my house because it was locked up, and the bullets and the bolt were locked in 2 other places. When I babysat for parents who didn't know, if they asked, I would have told them, but I was never asked. One parent, knowing I had one, even asked me to explain the danger of guns to their son because there was a recent news article about an accidental death due to a child who found one and thought it was a play gun. I showed him my gun (less bullets and bolt) and pictures of other types and explained to him to never pick up any gun unless he knows it is a toy.

                        So, back to the OP, I believe children should be taught about guns, age appropriately of course. I believe it should be law everywhere for all guns not currently in use to be locked up safely. I believe we have the right to ask if someone has one and they have the right to answer whatever way they want. And I believe children do have to be properly supervised, and prepared for the day they do start going places without you.
                        I absolutely think kids should be taught about guns and gun safety.
                        I think parents that avoid this topic are setting their children up for failure should they encounter a gun.

                        I think knowledge is power and education is necessary for everyone, including those who are not pro-gun.

                        They did a social experiment a while back with 8 kids (2 of whom had been taught gun safety by their parents and 6 that had not...other than being told the basics; i.e. that guns are "bad")

                        Interesting to see which kids picked up the gun and which didn't. (the link below isn't the original video source but it still gets the point across)

                        Comment

                        • Mike
                          starting daycare someday
                          • Jan 2014
                          • 2507

                          #27
                          The video actually made my eyes water just thinking about how dangerous a gun laying around can be, and remembering the story years ago.
                          Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
                          They are also our future.

                          Comment

                          • Scout
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Aug 2012
                            • 1774

                            #28
                            Originally posted by Mike
                            One of the many things we need to teach kids.
                            Especially since they make them pink and other fun colors now. They LOOK like toys.

                            Comment

                            • Scout
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Aug 2012
                              • 1774

                              #29
                              I do not ask, but, my oldest son's closest friend has also evolved his family into our close friends, so I know they have guns in their house. Locked up. And I also have been educating my kids since they were around age 3 and certainly before they are old enough to go play at other homes.

                              I also educate them on general safety such as balls in streets, friends in streets, taking candy from anyone (including other kids), talking to strangers with no adult near, etc. etc. I do this with all the kids I have here. I would rather they know that if a friend runs into the street, or jumps in a pool, they do not follow and are to immediately come get the adult. We can't always see everything because we have a lot of distractions around and especially with our own kids, who I at least tend to be more slack with and will allow them in the back alone. I feel better knowing they know general safety rules about guns and life in general at a young age.

                              Comment

                              • Mike
                                starting daycare someday
                                • Jan 2014
                                • 2507

                                #30
                                Originally posted by Scout
                                Especially since they make them pink and other fun colors now. They LOOK like toys.
                                And some are so lightweight now they even feel like toys.
                                Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
                                They are also our future.

                                Comment

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