Parents, Would You Ask?

[Miss A]

This topic was brought up on a mom's forum I am part of, and I thought the answers were very interesting and diverse.

Question: as a parent, do you ask if the home your child is visiting (friend's home, grandparents, visiting family) has a firearm on the premises, and if they do, do you allow your child to visit that home?

My answer: In the rural Iowa county I live in, it is assumed and almost expected that every home has a gun on the premises, be it a CCP hand gun, or a hunting rifle. As a FTM who provides daycare in my home, I have 4 firearms on my property, all secured behind lock and key with a key I do not have access to during the day. All guns are stored unloaded, with safety on, and all ammo is kept in a separate secure lock box using a different key than the gun closet lock. While I disclose to parents that we have firearms on the premises, as I do not have access to them during the day I do not worry about children coming into contact with them during the day.

Growing up, my dad kept a loaded shotgun beneath his bed. He taught us all as young children that a gun was not to be played with, as it was not a toy. He taught us to respect the power of a gun, and to use it carefully, knowing the dangers it presented. Growing up, did we ever touch that gun without dad's permission? No, never. I believe the novelty of the gun was gone because we were instructed in gun safety measures, and we were aware of the dangers that playing with a gun presented not only to us but to all those who lived in our home.

I believe in teaching a child gun safety, even if you don't want your child to be near guns as it will help your child know what to do in a dangerous situation. If a child knows the dangers of a weapon, and understands the serious consequences, as well as knows what to do should they find their peers in possession a dangerous weapon, many accidental shootings that are happening so frequently could be cut back on.

What about you? Do you ask?

[Leigh]

I have asked. My son visits only 2 of his friends' homes, the rest visit at our home. One has no guns, one has their guns locked up (they're very cautious about safety). A local provider recently lost her license because a SA child found a loaded handgun in her home-that's one place that people don't think to ask...they assume daycare won't have such an issue, but it does happen. Many years ago (before children), we kept a loaded shotgun in our bedroom for coyotes and for my protection (I was home alone for much of the night). I'd NEVER have a loaded gun in my home, even in my safe, with a child in the house. Our guns have trigger locks, are locked in a safe, and the safe is in a locked room. Ammo is stored in a cabinet that we need a ladder to access, and that is locked, as well. I wish that everyone were so cautious, but they're just not.

[Blackcat31]

This topic was brought up on a mom's forum I am part of, and I thought the answers were very interesting and diverse.

Question: as a parent, do you ask if the home your child is visiting (friend's home, grandparents, visiting family) has a firearm on the premises, and if they do, do you allow your child to visit that home?

My answer: In the rural Iowa county I live in, it is assumed and almost expected that every home has a gun on the premises, be it a CCP hand gun, or a hunting rifle. As a FTM who provides daycare in my home, I have 4 firearms on my property, all secured behind lock and key with a key I do not have access to during the day. All guns are stored unloaded, with safety on, and all ammo is kept in a separate secure lock box using a different key than the gun closet lock. While I disclose to parents that we have firearms on the premises, as I do not have access to them during the day I do not worry about children coming into contact with them during the day.

Growing up, my dad kept a loaded shotgun beneath his bed. He taught us all as young children that a gun was not to be played with, as it was not a toy. He taught us to respect the power of a gun, and to use it carefully, knowing the dangers it presented. Growing up, did we ever touch that gun without dad's permission? No, never. I believe the novelty of the gun was gone because we were instructed in gun safety measures, and we were aware of the dangers that playing with a gun presented not only to us but to all those who lived in our home.

I believe in teaching a child gun safety, even if you don't want your child to be near guns as it will help your child know what to do in a dangerous situation. If a child knows the dangers of a weapon, and understands the serious consequences, as well as knows what to do should they find their peers in possession a dangerous weapon, many accidental shootings that are happening so frequently could be cut back on.

What about you? Do you ask?

What is an FTM? (bolded above)

As for asking my kids' parents about guns in the home...no. I never asked. Not because it wasn't important but because I feel its invasive to ask someone something like that.... Instead I taught my kids what they needed to know. (my kids are adults now)

Parents do not ask me. Licensing here requires all fire arms to be kept in the same manner that you described HOWEVER, I do not live in my child care house so I do not need to store fire arms or weapons here. I don't think parents here ask because most know that if we have a valid child care license, the firearms ARE stored as required. Otherwise our licensing dept would not allow us to operate.

At my home, I do not store them that way and store them in a manner that works for my household.

[Miss A]

What is an FTM? (bolded above)

First Time Mom

[Blackcat31]

First Time Mom

Oh okay..... I googled it. It's not what I thought.... ::

I just typed in FTM....

[Miss A]

Oh okay..... I googled it. It's not what I thought.... ::

I just typed in FTM....

Oh my goodness, I am most definitely not that kind of FTM! 🙈 I have all my original girl parts! :: ::

The other board I use frequently has most of the same acronyms that we use here, I never thought to translate FTM to it's innocent term!

[Blackcat31]

Oh my goodness, I am most definitely not that kind of FTM! 🙈 I have all my original girl parts! :: ::

The other board I use frequently has most of the same acronyms that we use here, I never thought to translate FTM to it's innocent term!

:: :: It was definitely an acronym I hadn't seen before or maybe just didn't connect the dots due to subject matter. If we had been talking about postpartum depression I might have figured it out but I was trying to relate it to firearms.

...learn something new every day! ::

[Pestle]

Yes, I ask. My brother is in law enforcement and his organization even has a code phrase they use when they arrive at each other's houses; it reminds them to double-check that all firearms are properly secured before letting a child into the house. Unfortunately, the code phrase is the name of a child who walked into a house where the officer's weapon had not been secured.

I've seen enough sad news articles to know that it only takes a moment of inattention. As adults, we have 100% of the power to create the environment that our children then have to navigate. I'm not going to let a social stigma keep me from being a responsible parent/caregiver.

[Play Care]

Yes, I ask. My brother is in law enforcement and his organization even has a code phrase they use when they arrive at each other's houses; it reminds them to double-check that all firearms are properly secured before letting a child into the house. Unfortunately, the code phrase is the name of a child who walked into a house where the officer's weapon had not been secured.

I've seen enough sad news articles to know that it only takes a moment of inattention. As adults, we have 100% of the power to create the environment that our children then have to navigate. I'm not going to let a social stigma keep me from being a responsible parent/caregiver.

I don't ask but I feel I should. We've had two cases in recent years where kids got their hands on improperly stored firearms and either killed themselves by accident or killed a friend. I think if a 6 year old finds a gun lying around they could reasonably think it's a toy.

[kendallina]

I do not ask but I have talked to my daughter about what to do if she sees a gun. I have a friend that asks parents and refuses to allow her child to go to a house with guns.

[Mike]

I don't ask but I feel I should. We've had two cases in recent years where kids got their hands on improperly stored firearms and either killed themselves by accident or killed a friend. I think if a 6 year old finds a gun lying around they could reasonably think it's a toy.

One of the many things we need to teach kids.

[Blackcat31]

One of the many things we need to teach kids.

Education is far more powerful and so much more productive than banning or simply avoiding the topic/subject all together.

ETA: I do NOT feel it is the daycrae provider's or school's responsibility to teach this.
I believe this one belongs to parents.

[e.j.]

My kids are older now but if I had to do it over again...yes, I would ask. My dd spent the day at my brother's house one day. She and my niece were old enough to be left alone for a short time so my sil left to pick her son up from work at some point. It was a hot, humid, summer day and strong storms were expected. While my sil was gone, a tornado warning came on the tv and my niece panicked. For whatever reason, she went looking for my brother's gun. The situation turned out okay and no one was hurt but the fact that my niece knew exactly where to find the gun and ammo, was able to access it and wave the gun around the living room scared the heck out of me. I didn't know what had happened until my dd came home that night and told me. I was floored and beyond angry at the thought of what could have happened. I knew my brother had a gun but assumed he took all of the proper precautions with it. He said all the right things about training and proper storage, etc, but obviously didn't follow through on any of that knowledge. I stopped allowing my dd to spend time alone there after that and was careful about where she was allowed to spend time when she went to visit with friends.

[Miss A]

My kids are older now but if I had to do it over again...yes, I would ask. My dd spent the day at my brother's house one day. She and my niece were old enough to be left alone for a short time so my sil left to pick her son up from work at some point. It was a hot, humid, summer day and strong storms were expected. While my sil was gone, a tornado warning came on the tv and my niece panicked. For whatever reason, she went looking for my brother's gun. The situation turned out okay and no one was hurt but the fact that my niece knew exactly where to find the gun and ammo, was able to access it and wave the gun around the living room scared the heck out of me. I didn't know what had happened until my dd came home that night and told me. I was floored and beyond angry at the thought of what could have happened. I knew my brother had a gun but assumed he took all of the proper precautions with it. He said all the right things about training and proper storage, etc, but obviously didn't follow through on any of that knowledge. I stopped allowing my dd to spend time alone there after that and was careful about where she was allowed to spend time when she went to visit with friends.

This is beyond scary! We have a few years until we have to worry about our children learning gun safety, but they will learn. As I stated in my OP, we have guns, but they are secured under lock and key, as well as the ammo. I plan on never letting my child know where that key is, so that even after my child understands the responsibility of handling a gun, we never have an incident like this.

[Play Care]

One of the many things we need to teach kids.

I don't believe it's a child's responsibility to keep themselves safe. Kids often behave in nonsensical ways (EJ's post is a great example), it's why competent adult *supervision* and appropriate risk management are key.