Girls vs. Boys

[Leigh]

I have had only ONE little girl in daycare who wasn't a terror (she's 5). Hitting, pinching, biting, throwing toys, shrieking for up to an hour when they don't get their way, defiance-I see this so much more in girls. Am I just getting the "naughty" ones, or is this typical girl behavior? I have little experience with girls. My daycare has always been largely boys. My siblings had only boys. My friends all have boys.

What I notice from these girls is a lack of age appropriate self control, a refusal to follow rules or treat anyone with respect. I always have heard that girls mature faster than boys, but the boys I have here are largely leagues ahead of the girls in behavior.

I'm asking because I had a request for an interview for a 2 year old girl, and am considering whether to just start accepting boys. These girls that I've had are making my job just not fun anymore. I dread the day because I dread dealing with their hair pulling, screaming, tantruming. Half of the kids I have now are great, but these girls are insane.

[Controlled Chaos]

1. All children have their own personalities and home environments they are reacting too - I think gender has very little to do with it.

2. In my state I could get in BIG trouble for discriminating, which is what only accepting one gender would be considered "gender discrimination" Be careful

[Blackcat31]

IME, girls tend to be more dramatic and oddly more physically aggressive towards peers.

Boys are definitely more active/physical and can be aggressive as well but I see it in a more violent nature with the girls I've had over the last 2+ decades.

Personally, I relate much better to the boys and although I've had some close bonds/relationships with girls most my "favorite" kids over the years have all been boys.

[Play Care]

I started with mostly girls and have gone to mostly boys. I actually prefer a better balance of genders rather than one group over the other.

But I also don't recall my girls ever being physically aggressive like that.

[LysesKids]

I started with mostly girls and have gone to mostly boys. I actually prefer a better balance of genders rather than one group over the other.

But I also don't recall my girls ever being physically aggressive like that.

Me neither... my girls become nurturing toddlers... the boys, my last 3 rough and tumble to the extreme

[Rockgirl]

I have 3 girls....ages 3.5, 4, & 4. They are VERY catty to each other, and super dramatic. If only 2 are here, it's great...add a third, and it all falls apart. Two will always pair up and be mean to the third.

My two 2-yr old boys are rough and tumble, but are happy to play with anyone.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have had only ONE little girl in daycare who wasn't a terror (she's 5). Hitting, pinching, biting, throwing toys, shrieking for up to an hour when they don't get their way, defiance-I see this so much more in girls. Am I just getting the "naughty" ones, or is this typical girl behavior? I have little experience with girls. My daycare has always been largely boys. My siblings had only boys. My friends all have boys.

What I notice from these girls is a lack of age appropriate self control, a refusal to follow rules or treat anyone with respect. I always have heard that girls mature faster than boys, but the boys I have here are largely leagues ahead of the girls in behavior.

I'm asking because I had a request for an interview for a 2 year old girl, and am considering whether to just start accepting boys. These girls that I've had are making my job just not fun anymore. I dread the day because I dread dealing with their hair pulling, screaming, tantruming. Half of the kids I have now are great, but these girls are insane.

I have nearly all girls in a group of 16 (mostly part-timers). Tantrums are sent to the whining spot so that curbs that pretty quickly, hitting/pinching/biting shouldn't be happening over the age of 2 (and really shouldn't be happening then either...) and I would separate and let them engage in independent play each time, shrieking? whining spot again, defiance? time out. The only way you can get a time out here is to be directly defiant. It curbs it really quickly. I have 2-5's. I LOVE 2yo little girls. The only issues I have run into are with children with troubled pasts or with little girls with developmental delays.

I PREFER little girls. happyface

[Unregistered]

Little girls (and big girls = women) are often very mean. I think boys are prone to more bad behavior. I.e. they'll do more bad things through out the day. Where as girls will do something very mean. I think boys are more likely to be friendly when they realize they're both coming every day where as girls will keep hating each other. I think this comes from girls (and women) are happy to be alone and play alone. Where as boys (and men) are more social. I also feel boys (and men) often have more shallow (for lack of a better word) relationships than girls (women). IMO, this is why more men cheat than women. I've never had a girl tell me the wrong person was their mom (or family member), but boys have (and these are no special need boys) are happy to go home with a strange women unless I or the woman protests.

[Unregistered]

I think you are getting a handful of really out of control kids!

I've never had girls or boys act like this! I'm like EC Specialist in many ways in regard to behavior management.

I always say I'm fair, fun AND FIRM. I run a tight ship within the parameters of lots of fun.

If this didn't work I'd term! Is there one ring-leader that others follow and would the day go better without them! I'd term!

I do think from all that I read here that parents, "parent" in different ways in different parts of the country or region.

Even all the parent problems that I read here I don't have, but I attribute it more to where I live, as much to my policies.

I worked in a child care center in a challenged neighborhood, with at-risk families for the most part and the majority of those kids were great! The center did tend to deal with extreme behavior issues though and those families were termed (that was mainly before I worked there) within a reasonable amount of time.

I don't see it in girls. I've had great girls. I hope they are not coming my way! I know there is a trend in some circles that little Blake or Brooklynn never are sad, upset, or ever having to deal with disappointment.

These are a miserable bunch of kids! Is it this type of family these girls are from?

Also, I love girls too!

[Leigh]

I think you are getting a handful of really out of control kids!

I've never had girls or boys act like this! I'm like EC Specialist in many ways in regard to behavior management.

I always say I'm fair, fun AND FIRM. I run a tight ship within the parameters of lots of fun.

If this didn't work I'd term! Is there one ring-leader that others follow and would the day go better without them! I'd term!

I do think from all that I read here that parents, "parent" in different ways in different parts of the country or region.

Even all the parent problems that I read here I don't have, but I attribute it more to where I live, as much to my policies.

I worked in a child care center in a challenged neighborhood, with at-risk families for the most part and the majority of those kids were great! The center did tend to deal with extreme behavior issues though and those families were termed (that was mainly before I worked there) within a reasonable amount of time.

I don't see it in girls. I've had great girls. I hope they are not coming my way! I know there is a trend in some circles that little Blake or Brooklynn never are sad, upset, or ever having to deal with disappointment.

These are a miserable bunch of kids! Is it this type of family these girls are from?

Also, I love girls too!

These girls are princesses. They do NOT get any sort of discipline from their parents that I can see (I'm not talking punishment, but boundaries and expectations). They should NEVER be told no, and I should never make them sad, for sure! The firmness is what really gets them. The rules don't change, no matter how much they try-and they try all day long. They get frustrated when they can't get their way. For example: Throw your lunch on the floor, you pick it up. Every day, same thing. Every day, one of them tried to get out of picking it up. It took many weeks to get through this. I'd tell her that she needs to pick up what she threw on the floor and she would start shrieking hysterically and throw herself on the floor. If she takes a toy from another child, I tell her to give it back and wait for her turn. Shrieking. Her mother gives her whatever she wants. She's taken things from the brother's hand in front of me and given them to the girl. It's awful. That one is leaving (thank God!) after next week. She's been hurting other kids over and over, and it just can't keep happening. The other is new, and I'm hoping we can work through it.

[Nurse Jackie]

I actually have the opposite. My trouble kids have been boys and from what I can tell its from lack of discipline at home and the mother babying them.

[Josiegirl]

Every time I think the girls are harder I'm thinking 'but wait, the boys do that too'.
It just depends on sooo much. They all have their good moments and their bad.
Right now I have 7 dcgs and 1 dcb. It's been that way for a couple of years now. The only thing I have found is the way they handle wanting to be top dog. Boys are more physical about it and the girls are more theatrical about it. But wait, the girls have also been known to push, hit, etc. And the dcb I have is definitely dramatic.
So I don't know.
I have sassy rudeness from both. I have crudeness from both. I have whining, screeching, screaming from both. I have physical aggression from both. Then I have sweet helpfulness from both. I have good manners from both.
They're all kids. They can all be mean. And they can all be nice. And they're all still learning what's acceptable and what's not.

I know with my own kids growing up(I had 1 son and 2 dds), my ds was an angel. Seriously. I remember him throwing 1 fit, in a store, just for a minute, and we walked out right away. He was sensitive, polite and kind to people. My dds were only 22 months apart and my ds was already 10 by that time. My dds were such a handful but the dynamics were sooo different for them.

I have a 5.5 yo dcg and her mom says she gets glowing reports from all the other people in her life, except me and her. I asked 'does she act like this with you?' Oh yeh, so I guess I'm like a proxy mom and we both get treated the same way.

[Hunni Bee]

I prefer boys. My class is boy-heavy and when the girls are low we have much smoother days. I don't know why and I feel slightly guilty.

But the girls are the worst listeners, most issues with friends, whinning, arguing etc.

They are also the worst cleaners...my boys can clean the room in 10 minutes and they enjoy it.

I do love my girls though lovethis. They're all sweetpeas.

[daycarediva]

I like keeping a mixed group to even things out. I have had all boys, and I have had all girls.I have had the kindest, gentlest boys (and some O.M.G ones, too) and some horrible aggressive, mean, defiant girls (and some of the sweetest girls, too).

It depends on personality and parenting, imho.

[Mom of 4 logged out]

My boys are far easier than girls. Girls are drama queens. Boys are rough and tumble but girls are just harder imo. Same when i did daycare. Lol