Is This an Underlying Issue?

[Blackcat31]

Does your school district offer any type of screening before Kindy entrance?

Ours does here so whenever I encounter a parent unwilling to see what I am wanting to talk about, I refer them there or take comfort in knowing they'll eventually have to be screened before they're allowed to start school.

Do you do any type of assessment within your program so you can show her which areas of development he is lacking?

Its tough to "convince" a parent their child is not on par with things and my guess is most parents know but seem to enjoy that period of denial before being forced to deal with it in school which is sad because early intervention is key for most kids.

[TwinMama]

Does your school district offer any type of screening before Kindy entrance?

Ours does here so whenever I encounter a parent unwilling to see what I am wanting to talk about, I refer them there or take comfort in knowing they'll eventually have to be screened before they're allowed to start school.

Do you do any type of assessment within your program so you can show her which areas of development he is lacking?

Its tough to "convince" a parent their child is not on par with things and my guess is most parents know but seem to enjoy that period of denial before being forced to deal with it in school which is sad because early intervention is key for most kids.

Yeh. They do. That's how he got signed up for speech therapy. I don't know what other kinds of assessments they do though. It sounded like just communication only.

[e.j.]

I didn't think you meant anything derogatory... I commented because many people don't realize that a lot of ASD kids are actually geniuses.

As for mom...of course she thinks he can do no wrong. She's his mom. I think we are all guilty of the same.

Exactly why I posted what I did. There was just too much irony to ignore.

Absolutely. I totally get that. I just don't know what to do. When ever I say something to mom about his behavior she's weird about it and standoffish to me a while later. I want him to get the help he needs, but I don't feel like she'll feel there's an issue.

Some parents are in denial when it comes to their kids and some parents just don't know enough about child development to know what is normal and what isn't. Also, kids can behave differently in different venues. The behavior you see at day care may be different than the behavior his parents see at home because the dynamics are different.

I would do what BC suggested. As a provider, all you can do, really, is mention the behaviors you observe during day care hours and give suggestions on how to start the process of having the child evaluated if the parent is open to it. When I approach a parent, I usually say, "I could be wrong about this - and I hope I am - but would you consider having him evaluated even if just to rule out any issues?" Unfortunately, if the parent is in denial and isn't ready to hear what you're telling her, there isn't much more you can do other than decide if you want to continue care or not.

[Ariana]

Aspbergers is one of those things that takes a while to get diagnosed because the kids are so smart and can generally "pass" as being normal but with a few quirks. I Had a child like this and parents also in denial about it simply because he knew all of his letters and numbers at 2 years old. The issue with this child however wasn't his intelligence it was how he was using it. Constant repetition of phrases and obsession with numbers coupled with very little interest in other children unless they were doing some routine behavior that made him laugh.

What I did was invite the mom in and when dcb was acting like his usual atypical self I asked the mom if she saw these behaviors at home. I then let her know that I was seeing some atypical behavior and that I strongly recommended her to take him to be assessed. Unfortunately in my case the denial was just too strong and I ended up terminating care.

[Blackcat31]

Aspbergers is one of those things that takes a while to get diagnosed because the kids are so smart and can generally "pass" as being normal but with a few quirks. I Had a child like this and parents also in denial about it simply because he knew all of his letters and numbers at 2 years old. The issue with this child however wasn't his intelligence it was how he was using it. Constant repetition of phrases and obsession with numbers coupled with very little interest in other children unless they were doing some routine behavior that made him laugh.

What I did was invite the mom in and when dcb was acting like his usual atypical self I asked the mom if she saw these behaviors at home. I then let her know that I was seeing some atypical behavior and that I strongly recommended her to take him to be assessed. Unfortunately in my case the denial was just too strong and I ended up terminating care.

It's also worth mentioning that there is a big difference between academic intelligence and emotional intelligence.

The behaviors seen most in early childhood programs is usually directly related to social emotional intelligence....which parents rarely get to observe due to not having a group of agemates in one place.

[daycarediva]

I'm going to be the odd man out and say that while his behavior could be just attention seeking behavior, it could also be an indication of a neurological problem like autism - especially the things I highlighted. I'd have a discussion with his parents, asking them if they see the same kinds of behaviors you see. If they're open to it, I'd suggest they run your list past the dcb's pediatrician to see if he/she feels there's reason to be concerned about the behaviors you're seeing.

I'm leaning toward underlying issue too. He's definitely got a lot of red flags. My son has Aspergers and he frequently "checks in" to see if we still love him. He doesn't ask what we are doing but every day he's asking about what we are going to eat hours before the meal. Lots of ritual/routine behavior.

If I had not learned how to respond over the years, it would be much more intense. It sounds like your little guy might have a combination of something going on and attention seeking behaviors that have been reinforced for years.

You need to reduce attention for behaviors he's using to get your attention. For example, you can direct him to a schedule when he's asking what your going to do next. (A schedule would just be pictures of the things you do every day.). The first few times you show him how to use the schedule then you tell him to check it. After awhile, asking you is no longer engaging.

In addition to reducing attention attention to behaviors, I would have an honest conversation with the parents about what you've observed.

Funny thing is, he could be a genius and still have Autism.

It's also worth mentioning that there is a big difference between academic intelligence and emotional intelligence.

The behaviors seen most in early childhood programs is usually directly related to social emotional intelligence....which parents rarely get to observe due to not having a group of agemates in one place.

all of this!

He sounds like an aspie!

When he starts speech, will it be at school? I am very sure this will be identified early on and they will recommend a formal eval.

[Ariana]

It's also worth mentioning that there is a big difference between academic intelligence and emotional intelligence.

The behaviors seen most in early childhood programs is usually directly related to social emotional intelligence....which parents rarely get to observe due to not having a group of agemates in one place.

Absolutely! I think this is also why many parents can be in denial about Aspergers.

I had asked mom about play groups and she said he did the same things that the other kids his age were doing and I just could not believe that to be true. I took him to the park on one ocassion where there were 10 other same aged peers and while they were digging and playing he was continuously bringing me objects to name and not being able to move on until I comfirmed it for him. He was doing this daily right up until termination. His mother was also a teacher and an ECE so had some experience with kids...although she admitted to zero experience with kids his age. The whole situation was beyond stressful for me. I felt like I was crazy! I often wonder if the parents also had it....just from research I have done on it and some of their atypical behaviors as well.

[nannyde]

I completely agree. The problem that I have with his mom is that she thinks he's a genius. He knows some basic math. Once I tried to let her know that when we were working with letters he couldn't recognize some of the letters especially if they were in different formats (flashcards, magnets, book form) because the font is a little different between them all. She responded and said, "Oh. Ok. Well you need to be making the sound of the letter instead of just asking him what letter it is."

He also has spacial issues. he needs to be touching you with his knee or arm or leaning against you. I spoke to her about this once and let her know that we were working on personal space and how we need to respect everyone's personal space. She responded and said, "Yeh, he used to have issues with that but doesn't anymore. Good luck getting the other kids to figure it out." Then she immediately left.

She wasn't happy that he didn't pass the speech/communication test either. When she took him she said, "I doubt they tell us we need it." When she came back and I inquired i feel like she was in denial. I assured her that it's a good thing because it'll help him.

Is there any chance he's being played with and interacted with CONSTANTLY at home?

I had one like this with the mom being a twin to your kids mom. I figured out they believed he was mensa gifted and were up in his grill playin and praisin every breath he took.

When he went to a center it took him months and MANY parent meetings with threats of terming him for them to retrain him to leave the adults alone, quit expecting an adult to one to one you, leave the other kids be, and GO PLAY TOYS!