Would You Keep a Child Continuously for Nearly a Week?

[christine19720]

No way.

[daycarediva]

My biggest question and I might be the odd one out here but why aren't you reporting this? If you know she has substance abuse problems she isn't a fit parent. Also, you are enabling her. What she is doing is neglect. Being young is no excuse. This situation is black and white to me. Her children aren't safe with her and she isn't parenting. What this mother needs is rehab not a 24 hour babysitter.

YES! This mother needs to be reported. It sounds like an unstable, unsafe situation for ALL of the children. Maybe you could register as a foster parent and dcm could voluntarily place the children with you until she is sober.

[Ariana]

I agree this would be enabling and I don't believe for a minute she is "going out of town". The lie would be my number one concern at this point.

I also agree with reporting and DaycareDiva's suggestion of registering to be a foster parent...if that is something you want to do. I don't want to judge either but who is caring for all of these children and since when does the right not to judge outweight the well being and safety of the children? It sounds like your conviction to not judge is actually clouding your judgement.

[Alisyn]

I personally would not. I'd rather not start being expected to do so again and again in the future.......that's just me though

[Controlled Chaos]

I have done overnights for dcfs when they are at the hospital having a new baby. I do it for free as a "friend" typically by this point they have been with me 1-3 years already. They typically pay me with gift cards and wine later.

In this case, no - I would call CPS. :hug:

[Angelmichelle]

CPS is involved; her mom has her older two children and the younger children are on a special program to keep families together through social services. One of the stipulations is attending group which she does regularly, except Fridays when group isn't in session. I feel like I am enabling her, absolutely, but I can't help feeling like I could be doing good for the baby as well. I called my licensor and asked her. She said it wasn't billable if county pays and wasn't recommended but if I felt comfortable to go for it. By "bender" I mean alcohol and hanging out all the time at parties, probably some marijuana too, but here they don't even start a CPS case if a newborn is born with it in their system so... To end it all, I declined and I'm glad because she's going a few hours away but she'll be with her mom whom will take excellent care of him. She just didn't want to take him at all.

[Ariana]

CPS is involved; her mom has her older two children and the younger children are on a special program to keep families together through social services. One of the stipulations is attending group which she does regularly, except Fridays when group isn't in session. I feel like I am enabling her, absolutely, but I can't help feeling like I could be doing good for the baby as well. I called my licensor and asked her. She said it wasn't billable if county pays and wasn't recommended but if I felt comfortable to go for it. By "bender" I mean alcohol and hanging out all the time at parties, probably some marijuana too, but here they don't even start a CPS case if a newborn is born with it in their system so... To end it all, I declined and I'm glad because she's going a few hours away but she'll be with her mom whom will take excellent care of him. She just didn't want to take him at all.

Ok this paints a much clearer picture! Sometimes it is hard to form an opinion when all of the facts are not there. I think in this case I would have taken him as it sounds like you have a very close relationship with them and CPS is already involved. I am glad that at least he is being taken care of by grandma.

[valleygirl]

Personally, I think you need to start setting boundaries with her, which is hard to do because you've known her since she was a teen. But if she is going to learn to be responsible and take care of her children, you need to stop taking care of her. If you start letting her have extra care for her infant outside of regular hours, she is probably just going to keep asking for more and more, and may use her "free time" for more drinking, drugs and parties. She wouldn't be able to get away with that if she had her baby at a daycare centre instead of a home-based daycare.

[None]

No.

I know a woman who agreed to do this for her dd who is similar to the description you posted. She never came back.

[Thriftylady]

Personally, I think you need to start setting boundaries with her, which is hard to do because you've known her since she was a teen. But if she is going to learn to be responsible and take care of her children, you need to stop taking care of her. If you start letting her have extra care for her infant outside of regular hours, she is probably just going to keep asking for more and more, and may use her "free time" for more drinking, drugs and parties. She wouldn't be able to get away with that if she had her baby at a daycare centre instead of a home-based daycare.

I agree with this. If people keep enabling her, she won't have any reason to change her ways.

[proudmommyofthree]

Could it be that she is suffering from postpartum depression? And maybe this is why she doesn't want to take care of the baby? Just a thought. It's the thing that came to my mind when reading your post

[Silly Songs]

You mention she is very young, but she has 4 children ? How old is she ?