Wow..Advice Please

[Blackcat31]

Can anyone help write a term letter ?
I've termed before but never for a relationship going south...

I didn't mean more going on with you either...I meant the badmouthing mom and the other family.....something seems odd but I have no idea what or why my gut said that...it just seems like a passive aggressive move (bashing on FB) and that there has to be more to it...

NOT anything you would necessarily know about but if she's been with you for 6 yrs and has never acted like this before, "something" IS up for sure..... she (DCM) apparently just hasn't found her backbone to say anything.

[DanceMom]

I didn't mean more going on with you either...I meant the badmouthing mom and the other family.....something seems odd but I have no idea what or why my gut said that...it just seems like a passive aggressive move (bashing on FB) and that there has to be more to it...

NOT anything you would necessarily know about but if she's been with you for 6 yrs and has never acted like this before, "something" IS up for sure..... she (DCM) apparently just hasn't found her backbone to say anything.

Thanks - I still processing all Of this! she dropped off again all happy chatting etc. I kept quiet mostly and let
Her get on her way!
I feel stabbed in the back. I've always been that provider that treats this more than just a business and more
As second families. Any family that's left it's been so amicable and I've gained a lot of friendships through this daycare. I'm
Just in awe.

[Blackcat31]

Thanks - I still processing all Of this! she dropped off again all happy chatting etc. I kept quiet mostly and let
Her get on her way!
I feel stabbed in the back. I've always been that provider that treats this more than just a business and more
As second families. Any family that's left it's been so amicable and I've gained a lot of friendships through this daycare. I'm
Just in awe.

Have you actually seen the posts? Did the family that told you take screen shots...if not, ask them if they will do so.

I can help you write a term letter if you want.

[DanceMom]

Have you actually seen the posts? Did the family that told you take screen shots...if not, ask them if they will do so.

I can help you write a term letter if you want.

Yes I have the screen shots.
I would appreciate any help !

[Blackcat31]

Yes I have the screen shots.
I would appreciate any help !

I PM'ed you what I would say in a term letter.

You can leave as is or edit it and/or let me know if you need help with editing and maybe want to say something different or address something I left out.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Sometimes we end up teaching parents more than we do the kids and this may be a case where mom needs to learn the consequences of FB bashing. I know 26 is not super young, but her actions show immaturity and she needs to learn that she should be more careful of what she puts out there.

I would type up a term letter and hand it to her at pick up, along with the dck's stuff. I would tell her exactly why she is being let go. I cannot work with people I don't trust, who are not on my side, so I would refund any money paid and be done today, but you can give two weeks or whatever is best for you. Good luck! Hope it all goes smoothly

[Ariana]

It sounds to me like this mom lost her temper because you were enforcing policies and is acting really immature. Bashing and badmouthing do not go over well with me so I agree with the terming and I would be clear about why in a professional manner (I am sure BlackCat gave you a great letter).

It is one thing to look for care elsewhere but it is a totally different thing to drag me into the mud in the process.

[Unregistered]

Sometimes we end up teaching parents more than we do the kids and this may be a case where mom needs to learn the consequences of FB bashing. I know 26 is not super young, but her actions show immaturity and she needs to learn that she should be more careful of what she puts out there.

I would type up a term letter and hand it to her at pick up, along with the dck's stuff. I would tell her exactly why she is being let go. I cannot work with people I don't trust, who are not on my side, so I would refund any money paid and be done today, but you can give two weeks or whatever is best for you. Good luck! Hope it all goes smoothly

I would I give her 2 weeks but I would also let her go as soon as she finds slmeone. Don't charge for termination ya know, just get her gone!

[Thriftylady]

I would I give her 2 weeks but I would also let her go as soon as she finds slmeone. Don't charge for termination ya know, just get her gone!

Not me! If you want to bad mouth me and my program, I will be happy to tell you not to let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

[DanceMom]

Update:

So I confront dcm about her posts looking for care. I told her that I will take her posts as her notice and dcg will be done xx day. She immediately called me bawling hysterical that she doesn't want to leave me, she loves me and she didn't post (over 5 different locations) looking for care to attack or go behind my back. Huh? Well ya did cause you have never came to me with issues. Which I asked her if she had any and her answer was no. She was just looking "to see what's out there"
Bizarre if you have no issues why would you be looking for new care? Because she was bawling and hysterical trying to cover her ass I believe and we got nowhere in the conversation. I did tell her it's best for her to continue her search as I don't think she is being honest with me.

As she's calling me bawling - before and after were
Her bashing me me posts. I was sick last week and she claims I magically am sick on her days off all the time. Which is a lie. I have no idea when she is off. And I'm
Sick like twice a year, sue me I'm human. She attached me being sick on her posts, and said a bunch of crap that wasn't true - obviously to make me sound horrible and her vent sound amazing to her friends.

I have not confronted her on her bashing posts...yet. I'm still processing it I my head - whether to ride it out and let her just leave me soon or terminate her this Friday. I'm just happy right now knowing she will be leaving eventually. I do not need drama from her and this is a first in my career to deal with this kind of stuff!

So that's the story I got...for now.

[Thriftylady]

I wouldn't confront her any more, except to text and mail return receipt a cease and desist letter for the slander. I would let her know any more would result in me taking legal actions, as it is untrue.

[DanceMom]

I wouldn't confront her any more, except to text and mail return receipt a cease and desist letter for the slander. I would let her know any more would result in me taking legal actions, as it is untrue.

True - not sure what game she's playing here and also know I just need to be done as quick as it started!

[Blackcat31]

I wouldn't have even bothered with the whole looking for other care issue at all.... Its the slander on FB behind your back to a current family that would get my goat.

I thought that was the direction this thread had gone too.

Looking for other care or checking out what's out there isnt really bad behavior....Many posters mentioned several valid reasons as to why a parent might do that.

But not telling her why you are really upset is poor communication... which is what you are telling her she did wrongly.

I don't understand why you aren't addressing that part (the slander)...:confused:

[DanceMom]

I wouldn't have even bothered with the whole looking for other care issue at all.... Its the slander on FB behind your back to a current family that would get my goat.

I thought that was the direction this thread had gone too.

Looking for other care or checking out what's out there isnt really bad behavior....Many posters mentioned several valid reasons as to why a parent might do that.

But not telling her why you are really upset is poor communication... which is what you are telling her she did wrongly.

I don't understand why you aren't addressing that part (the slander)...:confused:

I'm working on creating that "backbone" . The big termination backbone. It's been years since I've terminated. It's always SO excruciating for me

[Thriftylady]

[/B]

I'm working on creating that "backbone" . The big termination backbone. It's been years since I've terminated. It's always SO excruciating for me

Confrontation (and therefore terms) are hard for me also. But I have actually found that the worst part is leading up to it. It usually isn't as bad as it seems it will be and having it over feels so much better.