How Much Do You Tell?

[laundrymom]

I only mention loose stools, reminders for supplies.
I keep drop offs to a quick exchange. I've even been known to say. Ok. See ya tomorrow. I'm kicking you out.

[Annalee]

I like to keep it short and sweet, too, but have a couple of parents that think this is the Jerry Springer show and I need to hear about their "issues". Even when I walk away, they are still talking::

[TwinMama]

Oh my goodness. I feel like when I read this, you just don't see things from the moms pov. She probably can't use her phone during work. I know it was strictly prohibited to have any cell phone use during work at a center I worked. We literally had to put them with our personal belongings in a locker and not go use them until a break or you were off. We were able to be contacted in case of emergency through the schools office.

Also we are taught as teachers to value process over product. Maybe she doesn't care about the footprint reindeer you made as a Christmas activity because she just wants her son to be squeezing paint through his hands and not creating a teacher directed craft.

Also, the candy bribes. Yeah. I totally wouldn't do that for my child or for a child I care for. However, she does. It's her prerogative. She isn't trained in ece so how would she know if that is good/bad/ counterproductive? Almost every article you read in these mainstream parenting mags, and online, tell you to give candy for toileting. I know it grows from there and gets out of hand. So called 'professionals' advise parents to do reward charts, etc. She's doing what she thinks is right. You can try to educate in a respectful way by just giving legit articles about praise, rewards, etc. And obviously don't do the candy at your fcc and tell the child you don't do candy. He'll stop asking, I imagine. Or he'll keep asking. He'll never get the candy from you, so whats the real concern there?
Just know all parents do want the best outcome for their children. She's not trying to make problems. She cares. She just doesn't do things the same as you.

Her cell phone and texting her is how she told me to contact her for emergencies, issues that she needs to be aware of, and for fun stuff. Since she's in class texts are better, because she has her phone with her.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Her cell phone and texting her is how she told me to contact her for emergencies, issues that she needs to be aware of, and for fun stuff. Since she's in class texts are better, because she has her phone with her.

She may have wanted the "extra" in the beginning, but she probably trusts that things are fine, he is doing fine, and you are doing a great job caring for him, so need for the updates anymore. I would stop sending pics altogether and just keep it short and sweet. I am usually anxious for them to leave, so I pretty much say ,"He had a great day! See you tomorrow!"

[daycarediva]

With the attention seeking behavior - I would ignore it. If a child asks for something while I am changing a diaper, I often don't respond until my hands are washed, they learn to wait at the bathroom door (attached to playroom) and wait patiently. If he announces what he is doing I would probably completely ignore it and praise another child for playing nicely. Then once child is engaged in play I would say "looks like you are making some yummy food in the kitchen!" so the praise is linked to the child engaged in play and not attention seeking behavior.

As for what to tell parents - I keep it brief. I try to share 3 short things, structured like a compliment sandwich.
"Timmy spent a lot of time in the book area today, he sure loves reading about bears! He did have a little trouble keeping his hands to himself during circle time, hands in our lap tomorrow - right Timmy?! Oh and here is his painting, he used so many wonderful colors. Timmy, tell why don't you tell mommy about your picture on the way home?"

I deal with all discipline and behavior issues here. I will report to a concerned parent on whether a child had a "gentle" or "good listening" day if they ask. But unless it is a HUGE concerning behavior (like a might term) then I don't expect parents to solve anything.

This is how I do it as well. I always try to tell parents one cute story or something funny dck said or did. Developmentally normal behaviors I don't even mention. I figure they know about them already.

I have the flip side- a dcm who is ALWAYS bringing up age appropriate things her child does. (almost 2) "She said NO to me today! Oh my, has she ever done that with you? I just could NOT believe she said that to me!" or "She refused to even try her shrimp taco, she has always been an adventurous eater! I really hope the picky eating doesn't continue" I finally realized she wanted advice/reassurance (duh) so now I just say "Oh 2 is fun! Here I just..... and she responds well." or "She is the least picky eater I have, maybe deconstruct it next time. Just keep offering!"

[rosieteddy]

I used to say "daycare is like Vegas what goes on stays here".I bought and the kids decorated their project bags.The days activities or correspondences went in it. I handed the parent the bag the child a sticker(if they greeted their parent nicely said good bye)Said ate well and had a great day see you tomorrow.Most times thats all they wanted.If their was a big issue we talked briefly.

[Febby]

This is how I do it as well. I always try to tell parents one cute story or something funny dck said or did. Developmentally normal behaviors I don't even mention. I figure they know about them already.

This is what I do for most of mine. I have a couple parents that want more, but most just want to know that it was a normal day.

I try to have cute/funny things to mention, but I have 22 children in my class and sometimes I just don't have time to say much to the parents. Although I will make positive notes on daily sheets for the parents who read them.

[Alwaysgreener]

I know during the first two weeks I report more to Dcf, than after those weeks. This is my way of getting to know the whole family and reassuring the Dcf that their child is in good hands. After that, I let them know the new things like dcb had rash today at first change Or When i am low on some supplies.
I figure, if I am saying a bunch of stuff every day, they will tune me out after a while, then won't be paying attention to when it is important.

You could make notes in a notebook for your use only or for dcm to read. That way you are documenting behavior patterns for referance in the future if needed.

[childcaremom]

I used to say "daycare is like Vegas what goes on stays here".

:: I like this.

I send home daily reports. Very quick and to the point: meals, naps, poops, what I need. Anything verbal at the door, for me, it depends on the age of the child.

Younger than 2, I will mention anything that I think is important. Didn't nap well, didn't eat as much as normal, etc.

Older than 2, I only say good bye to parents and child and see you tomorrow. Small chit chat but nothing related to care. Anything behavioural or otherwise, if I feel it needs mentioned, I talk to dcps at a separate time. Through email, phone, note, etc. I never discuss those issues in front of dcks. I tell dcps that during interviews so they are well aware.

I do share small anecdotes from time to time but it depends on the dcps. Some are ready to go and don't stick around, some will stick around forever to swap stories of their little people.

[DaveA]

I like to keep it short and sweet, too, but have a couple of parents that think this is the Jerry Springer show and I need to hear about their "issues". Even when I walk away, they are still talking::

This. I have a couple of "oversharers" who would tell me everything if stood still and let them keep going. Best to herd them in and out.

I used to say "daycare is like Vegas what goes on stays here".

Love this line.::