I Am SHOCKED....

[Rockgirl]

Here is the In-home daycare vs Center thread specifically:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/528153.page

That's the one thread I read this afternoon. Pretty vicious in some posts!

[Blackcat31]

That's the one thread I read this afternoon. Pretty vicious in some posts!

Honestly, I didn't find anything wrong with the thread. It appeared equally negative to both in-home care and centers depending on the preference of each poster, which like I said seemed equally divided.

There was an argument between a couple posters but nothing directly related to in-home daycare or centers. The argument seemed to simply be because two posters didnt like the way the other stated their opinion.

I actually thought a few posters made some great comments about their in-home providers.

[Crystal]

Honestly, I didn't find anything wrong with the thread. It appeared equally negative to both in-home care and centers depending on the preference of each poster, which like I said seemed equally divided.

There was an argument between a couple posters but nothing directly related to in-home daycare or centers. The argument seemed to simply be because two posters didnt like the way the other stated their opinion.

I actually thought a few posters made some great comments about their in-home providers.

Me too. I think I've actually seen worse here a time or two

[Rockgirl]

Honestly, I didn't find anything wrong with the thread. It appeared equally negative to both in-home care and centers depending on the preference of each poster, which like I said seemed equally divided.

There was an argument between a couple posters but nothing directly related to in-home daycare or centers. The argument seemed to simply be because two posters didnt like the way the other stated their opinion.

I actually thought a few posters made some great comments about their in-home providers.

Oh, I loved the way people were sticking up for their providers! There were some pretty hateful comments from one parent to another.

[Josiegirl]

Oh, I loved the way people were sticking up for their providers! There were some pretty hateful comments from one parent to another.

I agree. But you know what stuck out to me was that you see that whole mindset of 'gotta go to preschool' again. Home daycare may be great for when they're 0-3(or even 2 1/2) but get 'em on the high road to academics after that. :confused: I saw ONE comment about the whole academics thing being debunked and AFAIK nobody made a comment on it. So obviously most parents must still feel kids need to be able to read Pride and Prejudice before kindergarten.:dislike:

[childcaremom]

I agree. But you know what stuck out to me was that you see that whole mindset of 'gotta go to preschool' again. Home daycare may be great for when they're 0-3(or even 2 1/2) but get 'em on the high road to academics after that. :confused: I saw ONE comment about the whole academics thing being debunked and AFAIK nobody made a comment on it. So obviously most parents must still feel kids need to be able to read Pride and Prejudice before kindergarten.:dislike:

That's what stuck out to me, too. Academics, academics, academics.

[Rockgirl]

So, I got curious about mommy boards, and checked out the cafemom message boards. WOW is all I can say! These moms relentlessly tear each other apart. I'm glad parenting boards weren't as big when my kids were little. Actually, we didn't even own a computer until mine were 5 & 8. But seriously, wow.

[LysesKids]

So, I got curious about mommy boards, and checked out the cafemom message boards. WOW is all I can say! These moms relentlessly tear each other apart. I'm glad parenting boards weren't as big when my kids were little. Actually, we didn't even own a computer until mine were 5 & 8. But seriously, wow.

I ditched the daycare forum because not a lot posted and I agree some of the others are like WOW especially when it comes to SNAP, childcare etc... and yeah, I have added my 2 cents standing up for providers, but obviously I go anon when possible. I have enough issues without being torn apart by some of the people there

[Thriftylady]

I agree. But you know what stuck out to me was that you see that whole mindset of 'gotta go to preschool' again. Home daycare may be great for when they're 0-3(or even 2 1/2) but get 'em on the high road to academics after that. :confused: I saw ONE comment about the whole academics thing being debunked and AFAIK nobody made a comment on it. So obviously most parents must still feel kids need to be able to read Pride and Prejudice before kindergarten.:dislike:

I know! It kills me how people think. But really though I think it boils down to the fact that everyone wants their kid to be brilliant and special. They want their kid to conquer the world. I just wish parents would actually read the research to see how to make that happen.

On a side note, I saw a news story a week or so ago about a 12 yr old graduating high school and starting college. My only thought was when was this poor kid going to learn the life lessons that come from being a kid. He may be a genius, but I wonder if he is or will be not so smart in other ways.

[DaveA]

On a side note, I saw a news story a week or so ago about a 12 yr old graduating high school and starting college. My only thought was when was this poor kid going to learn the life lessons that come from being a kid. He may be a genius, but I wonder if he is or will be not so smart in other ways.

A guy I know through my knifemaking business was basically Doogie Howser for business/ computers: 2 graduate degrees by 18, successful business by 20. He says it really screws you up. I had a really interesting conversation with him in an airport bar years ago. It took him till his late 20's to understand how to have anything vaguely resembling a balanced, "normal" life. He basically said by 23 he'd made 30 million, lost 1/2 of it in a divorce all his fault, and lost most of the rest getting thrown out of his own business by his partners because he was too big of an a@@. Last time I saw him he was happy with his life and doing really well, but he said not having a "real" childhood is rough.

[daycarediva]

dd takes classes with a child prodigy. Child is in advanced placement college courses for most classes, at age 12. She will graduate high school this year, and she is the most miserable child ever. She cannot relate socially to anyone, much less her same age peers. She is CONSTANTLY in tutoring lessons or in classes, or studying. She speaks three languages, plays 4 instruments, you name it.

My dd/advanced placement student now COMPLETELY understands why I wouldn't allow the school to bump her up a grade, not once, but TWICE (once from 1st-2nd, and recently from 11th-12th) She will already graduate at 17.

Is it so wrong of me to hope my perfectly average children lead perfectly average lives? Happiness does not always equal success.

[Annalee]

dd takes classes with a child prodigy. Child is in advanced placement college courses for most classes, at age 12. She will graduate high school this year, and she is the most miserable child ever. She cannot relate socially to anyone, much less her same age peers. She is CONSTANTLY in tutoring lessons or in classes, or studying. She speaks three languages, plays 4 instruments, you name it.

My dd/advanced placement student now COMPLETELY understands why I wouldn't allow the school to bump her up a grade, not once, but TWICE (once from 1st-2nd, and recently from 11th-12th) She will already graduate at 17.

Is it so wrong of me to hope my perfectly average children lead perfectly average lives? Happiness does not always equal success.

My nephew which is now a Freshman in college was allowed to skip first grade. His parents allowed this to happen....bad mistake and his parents (although divorced now) both agree it was a bad mistake. Hopefully, my nephew will survive but there are definitely issues he has faced and is facing due to missing just one grade. I can't imagine moving any faster than that and not reaping some negative effects.

[My3cents]

I agree. But you know what stuck out to me was that you see that whole mindset of 'gotta go to preschool' again. Home daycare may be great for when they're 0-3(or even 2 1/2) but get 'em on the high road to academics after that. :confused: I saw ONE comment about the whole academics thing being debunked and AFAIK nobody made a comment on it. So obviously most parents must still feel kids need to be able to read Pride and Prejudice before kindergarten.:dislike:

no they don't feel that way at all.....$ is what they are feeling. They want free childcare through public schooling.

I feel children under five learn best through play. Come age four/ four and a half they are starting to want more. I don't feel Pre-school should be doing the job of what Kindergarten once did.

I also agree that I see both sides... I see the parents side and I see the provider side. When your in it.....right now I am a provider it is just easier to understand my feelings and emotions and stance on things. When I was the parent sending my child I saw the same things that parents see. All I know is that with out my working parents I would not have a job, and with out me they would not have a daycare so they could work. We all just need to learn to play good together and find balance to make it work, and that is ever changing and challenging for all of us-

Just My3cents~

[auntymimi]

I think it's not a bad idea to get a parents perspective in a constructive way. I know that our son was in daycare for almost 3 years and I look back now that I'm a provider and think "oh my I did that?" . I am still in contact with the woman that cared for him and sometimes I will tell her, I'm so sorry I did XYZ haha

My oldest daughter's provider and I are still friends, and I've apologized multiple times for the things I didn't understand as a parent. She just laughs and says "oh you'll get what's coming to you" in a friendly way. She's been a great help to me in getting started in this business. We have such a shortage of providers in our area that competition isn't really an issue. I've been blessed to have a great group of ladies to help get myself and some of the other "younger ones" as they call us, get started. It's like having a network of nannas you can call up and ask about things. kinda like this forum.