I Am SHOCKED....

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I have read a lot of the archives here and while there are disagreements (strong ones), I have not seen as much vitriolic behavior as I do on the mommy blogs. Man they can be mean and SO judgemental! Comments on fb about kid issues are just so full of hate! I was linked to a new baby seat that lays a baby on their tummy and rocks them. Its meant for colicky or flat head babies I guess, but it asked what thoughts were on it. I expected positive and negative reviews, but the negative reviews were more about lazy parenting and how you should wear your baby and not ignore them andif you use that item, you are abandoning your child and a bad mom I was like, WTH?? Even a mom who said she had post partum and a colicky baby and would have loved the item to give her a few minutes of peace was told she shouldn't have had a baby if she wasn't prepared to meet its needs! Now I know why other groups like Sanctimommy exist! There are some judgmental parents out there who apparently have it all figured out! I have not seen that on this board. Other than trolls who just love to stir up controversy, I don't see that type of behavior on here from registered users and regular posters.

[Rockgirl]

For years I kept a file on my computer titled" Outrageous things dcp have said to me." It was great for stress relief. Sometimes I read it now for laughs.

You should start a thread with your list. I'm betting we could all contribute!

[Blackcat31]

I have read a lot of the archives here and while there are disagreements (strong ones), I have not seen as much vitriolic behavior as I do on the mommy blogs. Man they can be mean and SO judgemental! Comments on fb about kid issues are just so full of hate! I was linked to a new baby seat that lays a baby on their tummy and rocks them. Its meant for colicky or flat head babies I guess, but it asked what thoughts were on it. I expected positive and negative reviews, but the negative reviews were more about lazy parenting and how you should wear your baby and not ignore them andif you use that item, you are abandoning your child and a bad mom I was like, WTH?? Even a mom who said she had post partum and a colicky baby and would have loved the item to give her a few minutes of peace was told she shouldn't have had a baby if she wasn't prepared to meet its needs! Now I know why other groups like Sanctimommy exist! There are some judgmental parents out there who apparently have it all figured out! I have not seen that on this board. Other than trolls who just love to stir up controversy, I don't see that type of behavior on here from registered users and regular posters.

I disagree.

I think we (general we) simply accept or at the very least identify with or understand what providers say/post since we are sharing the same view.

Reading some of the things said here (from a parent perspective) would definitely have me riled....as a provider I am sometimes dumbfounded but I usually just walk away from those threads but I think the judgement and negativity definitely goes both ways.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I disagree.

I think we (general we) simply accept or at the very least identify with or understand what providers say/post since we are sharing the same view.

Reading some of the things said here (from a parent perspective) would definitely have me riled....as a provider I am sometimes dumbfounded but I usually just walk away from those threads but I think the judgement and negativity definitely goes both ways.

Now I am curious and gonna have to go back to the archives

The funny thing is, FB is where I see so much hate and they are using their own names, profile pics, ect. Not that people can't find out who you are on numerous forums, but FB is by far the most negative I have read yet! I love daycare.com, because I have found it so useful and so much less negative. I have not seen people called horrid names and threatened on here, and that seems to be every other comment on FB posts

[Rockgirl]

Now I am curious and gonna have to go back to the archives

The funny thing is, FB is where I see so much hate and they are using their own names, profile pics, ect. Not that people can't find out who you are on numerous forums, but FB is by far the most negative I have read yet! I love daycare.com, because I have found it so useful and so much less negative. I have not seen people called horrid names and threatened on here, and that seems to be every other comment on FB posts

People with argue viciously about ANYTHING on FB! The other day, I saw one of those recipe videos posted, and read some of the comments. Yep, name calling and everything. Over a recipe!

[lovemykidstoo]

I disagree that it's a totally different tone. I think they say pretty much the same things said here on this board or any provider forum group. Each sharing from their perspective.


My daycare provider is completely <<insert complaint>>.
MY daycare parent(s) is/are <<insert complaint>>>
They are overcharging me when they don't even have an education.
They said they couldnt afford X but went to a concert last night or on a trip to... this is their first kid so I highly doubt they know what they are doing.
They insist on being called "school" when the provider themselves can't even spell.
The parents are pulling to go to "real preschool" or "check out this horrible craig's list ad
They are trying to tell me how to raise MY child
My house MY rules or how can I hint around at getting parents to follow my polices as I am not confrontational
"Your child, your choice -- it doesn't matter what the provider says, you do what you want."
My house MY rules. Just do it anyways no matter what the parent says
"They are making bank! You aren't hurting them any by doing such and such! That's what they get paid for -- control your provider!"
I waive late fees and don't enforce policies because I am afraid to lose income or take control of my business. You aren't the boss of me. Who cares what the parent says, do it anyways...MY house MY rules
"Give your provider as hard a time as you want -- after all, that's what they get paid for!
Tell Johnny's mom you wont give him a nap or you'll wake him after an hour but nap him anyways and just lie to the parent
You have a real job, and the provider needs to understand that you take priority or should make exceptions blah blah blah"
My house MY rules. MY kids live here, they can have special any time they want. Parents wont take me professionally (yet provider answers door in pj pants and looking as if they just rolled out of bed)

Very very true. I think that it really does go both ways. I have seen plenty of posts here saying that "I"m the boss" etc. I don't think I'm the boss and I don't think the parent is the boss. I believe we work together to provide the best care for the child. That does not mean that I take advantage of the parents and that they take advantage of me. I would love to visit the site to get insight on what the major problems are though so that I can avoid them if possible, just as if a parent might want to visit here to do the same. Is some of it really negative and not true? Probably, just as some here is really negative and probably similar view.

ChelseaB do you think you could send me the site?

[MyAngels]

I had a few thoughts as I read all the comments. First, I don't really care an awfully lot if parents think negative things about me or my daycare, so long as they are respectful and keep their negativity to themselves. FWIW I rarely get "negative vibes" from parents and when I do they typically don't last long (the families, not the vibes ).

Second, I am eternally thankful that I was able to raise my children in their early years without the benefit of the internet.

Third, Facebook holds very little value (at least for me )

[Blackcat31]

ChelseaB do you think you could send me the site?

You are more than welcome to post it here too and satisfy a few poster's curiosities.

[lovemykidstoo]

You are more than welcome to post it here too and satisfy a few poster's curiosities.

I think it's not a bad idea to get a parents perspective in a constructive way. I know that our son was in daycare for almost 3 years and I look back now that I'm a provider and think "oh my I did that?" . I am still in contact with the woman that cared for him and sometimes I will tell her, I'm so sorry I did XYZ haha

[Play Care]

I disagree.

I think we (general we) simply accept or at the very least identify with or understand what providers say/post since we are sharing the same view.

Reading some of the things said here (from a parent perspective) would definitely have me riled....as a provider I am sometimes dumbfounded but I usually just walk away from those threads but I think the judgement and negativity definitely goes both ways.

There are times I've "talked tough" to another provider, Espcially if they were looking for the moral support or just confirmation that they made the right decision. I just told someone today to do an immediate term at pick up time - I know parents reading that would be and "who do you think you are?!" ::

[Rockgirl]

You are more than welcome to post it here too and satisfy a few poster's curiosities.

Thank you....I think we all wanted to ask!

[Ariana]

I think a lot of it comes down to the working mom vs. Stay at home mom debate. Working moms think they are better than me and I think I am better than most working moms. Are there working moms who are awesome? ABSOLUTELY! Are there SAHM's who ****? YES!

I think we all b!itch about the ones who **** ::

[ChelseaB]

Certainly, it may take me a few to find what I'm looking for... I think one was this link: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/25/5.page
I believe it was a thread labeled centers vs in home daycares or something...may have to search a little to find what I'm trying to reference, and I THINK this is the forum where I found posts where they drug Nannyde's name into a few posts... I will certainly share more once I have a few

[ChelseaB]

One thing I did do was search for mommy boards and parenting forums. Then I typed daycare into the website search -- that was my primary way of researching

[Blackcat31]

Certainly, it may take me a few to find what I'm looking for... I think one was this link: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/25/5.page
I believe it was a thread labeled centers vs in home daycares or something...may have to search a little to find what I'm trying to reference, and I THINK this is the forum where I found posts where they drug Nannyde's name into a few posts... I will certainly share more once I have a few

Here is the In-home daycare vs Center thread specifically:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/528153.page