DCF Just Termed Without Notice

[Unregistered]

I've seen MULTIPLE cases where children bite other children (sometimes younger children bitting older before/after care children) and make them bleed. Also, some children won't let go. I have a four year old ESL student like this. He learned through violence (he wasn't only a biter) he could get his way at home. One day I had enough of it and but him in time out for pushing a little girl on the floor for taking "his" seat. He bite me. Me being me, I pretended it didn't hurt and tried to pull him off. He twisted my skin and literally bit a piece of skin off of my hand. It wouldn't stop bleeding and I had to get stitches. Some children literally bite like a dog. I can only imagine how he could have hurt other children.

For future reference, "feed" the bite rather than pulling. If you push (gently!) towards the mouth most children and animals will release, but if you pull it can break the skin. I know that's not the most helpful thing now, though :/

[Thriftylady]

You really see no difference between an adult hitting a child and a toddler hitting another toddler?

Being hit, kicked, shoved, pushed, bit or whatever is mean, violent behavior. Yes there is a difference in that we need to teach them differently, but to say "oh it is just a kid being a kid" is not acceptable. Abuse is abuse I don't care who or why someone is being bullied or abused it is still wrong and has to be stopped. When an adult says "oh well that's what kids do", the adult is neglecting the children involved. I am not saying that two toddlers KNOW that hitting or biting is wrong, but we have to put a stop to it and teach them better. If a child is getting "beat up" (bitten, hit, kicked whatever), it is abuse.

[Thriftylady]

For future reference, "feed" the bite rather than pulling. If you push (gently!) towards the mouth most children and animals will release, but if you pull it can break the skin. I know that's not the most helpful thing now, though :/

That doesn't excuse the bite though, or take away the risk. And sometimes the bite itself breaks the skin, without being pulled. When we were kids, my neice who is ten months older than I was a biter. She bit all the time, just for attention. She broke my skin often. Of course then the way the parents handled it was "bite her back" but for one thing it didn't work and the other thing was I could never catch her anyway so she would run and she knew I couldn't catch her.

[Blackcat31]

You really see no difference between an adult hitting a child and a toddler hitting another toddler?

Not in the act itself but in children it has to do with mastering impulse control and being able to stop and make the right choice.

Adults (most.. Lol!) have the capacity/maturity to do that.

BIG difference.

[Thriftylady]

Not in the act itself but in children it has to do with mastering impulse control and being able to stop and make the right choice.

Adults (most.. Lol!) have the capacity/maturity to do that.

BIG difference.

Yes, this. But we as adults cannot allow it be continue over and over. (I know you aren't suggesting we should BC just clarifying my point).

[Blackcat31]

Yes, this. But we as adults cannot allow it be continue over and over. (I know you aren't suggesting we should BC just clarifying my point).

I agree!

I think that 99% of all biting that happens in daycare (excluding the first time) is due to supervision issues.

[Ariana]

I think that 99% of all biting that happens in daycare (excluding the first time) is due to supervision issues.

Totally agree and in a home daycare even more so. I have worked nearly exclusively with toddlers for over 5 years in a centre and in that time saw a LOT of toddlers (plus my toddler placements at other centres). I have only seen 1 toddler bite. That's it! ONE. I don't think biting is normal behavior. I think it is a learned response that is being perpetuated by the fact that there are no consequences. In a centre we had 1 teacher for 5 toddlers and in a home daycare the ratio is much lower. Once we figured out we had a biter we came up with strategies and reasons for why this biting behavior was happening and we nipped it in the bud. Once we nipped the biting in the bud (through shadowing and seperating mostly) the child started scratching so we put mittens on her daily.

Allowing another child to bite or scratch or otherwise bully another child is unacceptable and can have life long repercussions for the victim of that abuse.

[nannyde]

I agree!

I think that 99% of all biting that happens in daycare (excluding the first time) is due to supervision issues.

Yup

One bite in 21 years of doing daycare. That one bite happened my first year. Never happened again.

Biting isn't normal if supervision is consistent and precise. Knowing pre biting ESCALATION is the key.

[daycarediva]

Abuse?? Toddler on toddler abuse?

I currently have 3 toddlers in my care. One has a problem with pushing. Pushes the other kids multiple times every single day (often for no apparent reason and sometimes really hard). I have another that hits. With his hands or he will just whack someone with whatever toy happens to be in his hand. The 3rd just likes to follow the others around and steal whatever they are playing with and run away. All of these things would certainly be considered abusive...if they weren't toddlers! But they are toddlers and these are all normal behaviors in a toddler. We have to teach them and work with them not to do these things but it doesn't happen over night. It takes time and patience.

Biting is also normal behavior for some toddlers. It is unusual, in my experience, that a child bites just occasionally. Either a kid is a biter or they're not. What makes one kid a biter but not another I don't know but it is what it is and it could just as easily be your child doing the biting. The child that bites another child is not being abusive to that child anymore than the child that hits or pushes another child. They are just being toddlers. They have yet to learn that these are not appropriate ways to handle themselves.

This child was bitten 4 times in 2 months. That is not excessive to me. A child that is going thru a biting phase and spends his/her day with other similarly aged children will likely try to bite multiple times every single day! If your child is comes home with 4 bites in a day or a week then yeah, your provider is not on top of the situation but if your going to put your toddler in a place with other toddlers they may come home with a bite now and then.

Biting is not a fun phase for anyone involved but it really isn't as big of a deal as some people make it out to be and it isn't so easy to stop. But, bites don't usually break the skin and even when they do it is highly unlikely to be serious or require any more attention then some TLC.

It could just as easily be your child doing the biting...What then?

It is lack of proper/adequate supervision. NO child deserves to be hurt, especially repeatedly, all in the name of a "phase".

Yes, children DO go through phases, but OUR job is to separate, identify triggers, and prevent injuries until the child gains enough self control to regulate their own behavior.

I don't tolerate any physical violence towards other children. I have a 3 strikes bite policy, but honestly after the first bite (or bite attempt) the child is so shadowed/supervised that it NEVER occurs again. Same with all other physical aggression. I also do not keep kids who don't quickly learn not to physically hurt others. I have an excellent reputation for safety.

I agree!

I think that 99% of all biting that happens in daycare (excluding the first time) is due to supervision issues.