Still Bothering Me

[mommiebookworm]

If your instincts are telling you to term, I probably would.

[Nurse Jackie]

It seems like your mind is made up Daycare. Do what you think is best for your program. Good luck!

[Josiegirl]

IMO, dcfs and my dc have to be a good fit for our relationship to work out for the best of everybody. If you don't feel you have that, then I'd come out and tell them it's not a good fit. Otherwise, you'll probably be dealing with the extra stress the whole time they're there. OR you could have a sit-down with them and lay everything out on the table, and tell them to air their grievances while you air yours. If neither party feel it can be fixed then term. That is, IF you feel this is all worth salvaging. If not, then just give them notice and look for the right fit.

[daycare]

call me bi-polar...

SO I thought about it a little more and I called out the dcd when he dropped off this morning.

Just told him that if he has any issues regarding the services we provide or care for his child that he needed to talk to me about it and not let it build up. I told him that everything about his child is important to me and if I don't know that there are any issues, I won't know how to help anyone.

DCD then told me what happened to his oldest child who went to an in-home and how horrible of an experience it was that he never thought he would ever imagine himself taking any of his kids back to another one.(this is his child from another marriage)

He said his wife heard so much good stuff about our program that they wanted to give it a shot. This is their child together.

So I told him that I completely understood and that I am honored to have his trust to be certain his child will always be loved and kept safe while in my care.

I then told him from now on, he needs to talk to me directly. If his nerves are not calm about me, I would not feel one bit offended should he decide to take his child out of our program.

We joked a little and he seemed to be a little more relaxed. I also assured him that as a parent I could relate to how he was feeling.

SO now that I did that, I am going to give it one more go and hope that everything falls into place.

thanks again everyone for responding. I appreciate all of your views on this.

[Josiegirl]

I can appreciate his feelings through all of this, as long as he knows open communication is key. Good luck and I truly hope it works out! It's hard on a child and provider to always be switching dcks/homes.

[Annalee]

call me bi-polar...

SO I thought about it a little more and I called out the dcd when he dropped off this morning.

Just told him that if he has any issues regarding the services we provide or care for his child that he needed to talk to me about it and not let it build up. I told him that everything about his child is important to me and if I don't know that there are any issues, I won't know how to help anyone.

DCD then told me what happened to his oldest child who went to an in-home and how horrible of an experience it was that he never thought he would ever imagine himself taking any of his kids back to another one.(this is his child from another marriage)

He said his wife heard so much good stuff about our program that they wanted to give it a shot. This is their child together.

So I told him that I completely understood and that I am honored to have his trust to be certain his child will always be loved and kept safe while in my care.

I then told him from now on, he needs to talk to me directly. If his nerves are not calm about me, I would not feel one bit offended should he decide to take his child out of our program.

We joked a little and he seemed to be a little more relaxed. I also assured him that as a parent I could relate to how he was feeling.

SO now that I did that, I am going to give it one more go and hope that everything falls into place.

thanks again everyone for responding. I appreciate all of your views on this.

I have a family where the dad started with a defensive attitude toward daycare....during the interview I didn't think he would ever sit down for us to talk....he was just shooting questions at me....but they have been here since March and now dcd is so nice to my assistant and I....even the tone of his voice has mellowed. Dcm is always telling us now how thankful she is and how dcd was"tamed".:: So, it might work out for you. I think when parents do not know who we are or what we stand for,etc., it can be difficult to let go a little for the betterment of the child. This child in my daycare was 2 when enrolled and had been bit several times at a center so u can imagine this dad's feelings at the time. I could not promise him she would not get bit, but I did try to assure him that I keep close contact with the daycare happenings throughout the day....which is probably what the other daycare said. The dad just had to give me time to show him I could monitor and keep negative behavior to a minimum. I hope this works out for you and this family. Good luck!

[Ariana]

I am so glad it went well!!

[Rockgirl]

call me bi-polar...

SO I thought about it a little more and I called out the dcd when he dropped off this morning.

Just told him that if he has any issues regarding the services we provide or care for his child that he needed to talk to me about it and not let it build up. I told him that everything about his child is important to me and if I don't know that there are any issues, I won't know how to help anyone.

DCD then told me what happened to his oldest child who went to an in-home and how horrible of an experience it was that he never thought he would ever imagine himself taking any of his kids back to another one.(this is his child from another marriage)

He said his wife heard so much good stuff about our program that they wanted to give it a shot. This is their child together.

So I told him that I completely understood and that I am honored to have his trust to be certain his child will always be loved and kept safe while in my care.

I then told him from now on, he needs to talk to me directly. If his nerves are not calm about me, I would not feel one bit offended should he decide to take his child out of our program.

We joked a little and he seemed to be a little more relaxed. I also assured him that as a parent I could relate to how he was feeling.

SO now that I did that, I am going to give it one more go and hope that everything falls into place.

thanks again everyone for responding. I appreciate all of your views on this.

Sounds like you handled it perfectly.

[Laurel]

Sounds like you handled it perfectly.

That's what I was thinking!

It seems like so often we 'assume' things and it is just better to ask.

I think daycare handled it perfectly.

[KidGrind]

I would tell her that Dad should trust his instinct. If the child is crying "No No No" then don't bring him that day. You hate to hear Dad is so upset and concerned. If "I" were his parent, I couldn't bare to hear the crying and would NEVER bring my child somewhere he didn't want to go. The child should be very excited to come as all the kids here are. He deserves to be happy. He's only a child once. His happiness should be their main concern.

I would add that I have never come across this before in X years but I am confident that their son should ALWAYS be happy. He's not and Dad is not.

The other thing to address is that her child has never seen a child be disciplined. Her comments about disciplining the other kids is what would piss me off. I would ask her EXACTLY what led her to believe he had witnessed any discipline. Ask her what he specifically said.

Since he can't talk, that would mean she completely made that up.

I would bet the Dad isn't the issue here. It's very common for moms with parental attention seeking syndrome to invoke the Dad in the lead sentence so she can get the subject on the table without taking ownership of her own words.

She didn't invent that technique.

I had one of those and I let DCD have it. He was blindsided but went along with what DCM had said. We are all good today.

They stayed but I put termination on the table. My specific words were, “I take pride in parents going to work trusting I am taking care of their little ones. Since you are sooooooooo stressed out leaving him here with me, even while you’re on furlough. I think you should go home and discuss with your wife when you’d like to terminate care. Today can be his last day, tomorrow, the end of the week, two weeks or the end of the month. Whatever is most convenient for you and your family. It makes me no never mind, have a great evening.”

I didn’t see mom at all the next day, uncommon. Then at drop off DCM & DCD (uncommon for both to be present) baby is instantly pushed in my arms once I open door. She is beaming as if someone stuck a rainbow with unicorn up on @$$ and he is showing all his teefeses. In a Mary Poppins’ voice DCM goes on and on about how much her baby loves me. I blank stare them and look at the baby and say, “Oh _______ let’s get our day going. Say bye bye to mommy and daddy.” They left. They were on multiple waiting list & turned down 3 other openings during their time with me.

[daycare]

well they didn't show up with payment this past week when it was due and didn't pick up on-time, so I sent them a term letter over the holiday that next friday is their last day.


UGH.

it's ok I have another family already signed up
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