Overly controlling DCM

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • hgonzalez
    Daycare.com Member
    • Dec 2012
    • 189

    #16
    I actually do send a form with feedings, naps and diaper changes listed plus add a bit about baby's general mood. She will question if the amount of milk fed doesn't add up. I have reminded her that sometimes some has to be discarded, but I try to be careful.
    I am trying to be understanding, but sometimes people have their own issues that get in the way of them ever being happy. I really like the kids and they are getting great care here.

    I will not be bullied by her, because I was so clear what I was willing to do and not do. Ughhh.

    Comment

    • Hunni Bee
      False Sense Of Authority
      • Feb 2011
      • 2397

      #17
      Nope.

      Just nope.

      We have one like that in another classroom who wants daily, detailed reports on her son's every bowel movement - her THREE year old son. Color, consistency, amount, etc. And she doesn't want them in the form of the daily report we use - she wants an after hours phone call or text message from the teacher.

      I don't get it. I'm also a dcm and as long as my two-year-old doesn't blow her diaper off, everything's fine. Jeeze.

      Comment

      • Febby
        Daycare.com Member
        • Jun 2014
        • 478

        #18
        Originally posted by Hunni Bee
        Nope.

        Just nope.

        We have one like that in another classroom who wants daily, detailed reports on her son's every bowel movement - her THREE year old son. Color, consistency, amount, etc. And she doesn't want them in the form of the daily report we use - she wants an after hours phone call or text message from the teacher.

        I don't get it. I'm also a dcm and as long as my two-year-old doesn't blow her diaper off, everything's fine. Jeeze.
        We have one like that, though she hasn't tried to contact us outside business hours. And she's less obsessed with bowel movements and more obsessed with his eating habits. She wants us to count how many crackers/peas/pears/etc. he eats. And measure how much milk he drinks. My favorite part is that she used to work at a center I used to work at and I had her son in my class back then too. Unfortunately, she was capable of contacting me in the middle of the day then. At least, until I turned my classroom phone off and told the directing staff that they either needed to get her to stop calling me (she was calling 2-4 times per HOUR) or actually walk back to my room when they needed me.them that.

        At my last center, I had a parent would calculate out how much breastmilk we used vs. how much she brought in and always complain that it wasn't accurate enough or that we were wasting milk, etc. And, in KY, parents are supposed to bring prepared bottles in ready-to-feed amounts. If we were wasting it, it was more than likely because the parents were putting too much in the bottles.

        But, no, I wouldn't be all that extra stuff for her. Though, in reality, I would probably do what MyAngels suggested since that's what I used to do when I ran a boarding barn for horses. If something wasn't standard, I would do it for a fee. That fee was based on how much I didn't want to do it. Basically I made it worth it to me to do.

        Comment

        • Nisaryn
          New DCP
          • Jun 2015
          • 203

          #19
          Originally posted by MyAngels
          Tracking of breastmilk - $20 per week
          Report on playtime - $20 per week
          Answering after hours texts - $10 (per text)
          Variable pick up times - $20 per week
          Report on mealtimes - $20 per week

          You could make a lot of extra money on this family

          I'm glad I've never had to deal with that level of - ahem - parental involvement ::
          Do you, by chance, have a 'master list' with all these costs? I'd love a copy to share with those certain 'types' of parents, LOL! I'm actually serious about this here though, really. Send me one!

          Comment

          • Febby
            Daycare.com Member
            • Jun 2014
            • 478

            #20
            Originally posted by Nisaryn
            Do you, by chance, have a 'master list' with all these costs? I'd love a copy to share with those certain 'types' of parents, LOL! I'm actually serious about this here though, really. Send me one!
            Just set your fees at whatever would make it worth it to you to do those things. If it's obscenely high, then so be it. If a parent ever actually decides it's worth it to pay $90/week extra for you to write a description of their poop (or whatever), then at least you feel like it's worth it.

            Comment

            • Josiegirl
              Daycare.com Member
              • Jun 2013
              • 10834

              #21
              Originally posted by Febby
              Just set your fees at whatever would make it worth it to you to do those things. If it's obscenely high, then so be it. If a parent ever actually decides it's worth it to pay $90/week extra for you to write a description of their poop (or whatever), then at least you feel like it's worth it.
              Maybe you could just send samples of poop home? I could see if they had a really good reason for needing to know these kind of things, dr's note for a health condition or something, but I cannot imagine it would vary too much from when they poop at home???
              I was an anal mom of my firstborn but even *I* wasn't that anal.

              Comment

              • nannyde
                All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
                • Mar 2010
                • 7320

                #22
                Originally posted by hgonzalez
                I actually do send a form with feedings, naps and diaper changes listed plus add a bit about baby's general mood. She will question if the amount of milk fed doesn't add up. I have reminded her that sometimes some has to be discarded, but I try to be careful.
                I am trying to be understanding, but sometimes people have their own issues that get in the way of them ever being happy. I really like the kids and they are getting great care here.

                I will not be bullied by her, because I was so clear what I was willing to do and not do. Ughhh.
                Her power is in numbers. She has three slots. She's not stupid. In a center she's a blip on the radar. In home care she's got three precious slots.

                I would just sit her down and tell you you don't have this much parent conferencing built into your fees. You don't have this specific of record keeping and reporting built into your fees.

                Tell her that although she may feel this is best for her baby, that you couldn't offer the level of service she is requesting for her or any clients for the base price. If she wants this much tracking, access to your time, and communication, you have to raise her rate for the infant so you are compensated for the special services.

                She can have xyz included in the price as all parents do but if she wants xyz it will be another X $ per week.

                It's not personal. It's not about what she is specifically asking for. Its simply the time it takes to service her wants and the conferencing to discuss it.

                Time is money. She should understand that.
                http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

                Comment

                • nannyde
                  All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
                  • Mar 2010
                  • 7320

                  #23
                  I would never agree to the wide open drop off and pick ups. Did you
                  http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

                  Comment

                  • hgonzalez
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Dec 2012
                    • 189

                    #24
                    The thought of charging her for all of the 'extras' is hilarious!

                    I have decided to change my Infant Report Form and include a small area that details our meals for the older two. I will not include how much each child ate, nor details about who and what they played with etc. The kids bring home a project, so she can clearly see what we are working on.

                    Micromanaging her children already...they are going to have so much anxiety when they are older, it is sad.

                    Comment

                    • hgonzalez
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Dec 2012
                      • 189

                      #25
                      Nannyde, I did not agree to the wide open pickups. Her husband often works late with no notice. I told them that if pickup is going to be after a certain time, I need a text message ASKING me if it will work that day. It should not be assumed that it will work. I might be out of breastmilk for their baby at that point, or starting an activity with the other kids. I also let them know that all of my other clients have a set pickup time, and usually pick up before that, not after. I also let them know I will not keep a child here for longer than 10 hours a day without extra fees involved.

                      Her demands are getting ridiculous.

                      Comment

                      • MyAngels
                        Member
                        • Aug 2010
                        • 4217

                        #26
                        Originally posted by Nisaryn
                        Do you, by chance, have a 'master list' with all these costs? I'd love a copy to share with those certain 'types' of parents, LOL! I'm actually serious about this here though, really. Send me one!
                        ::, no I don't have a list. Fortunately in all my years of providing care I've never had to deal with this level of whatever it is . I do agree with Nannyde's take on it - if they want a level of service above and beyond what you provide for all families they need to pay for it .

                        Comment

                        • Blackcat31
                          • Oct 2010
                          • 36124

                          #27
                          Originally posted by hgonzalez
                          Her demands are getting ridiculous.
                          This is where I KNOW I am different than most providers....

                          I would straight up call her out about her behavior..

                          Email it, write it in a note or say it...personally, I'd say it to her directly in person. Firmly.

                          "DCM your requests/questions are becoming ridiculous and not at all condusive to group care. I do not appreciate your need for constant attention as I am a busy working provider and will NOT address your ever growing list of questions regarding tiny unnecessary details on a daily basis with you any longer. We discussed these things upon enrollment. From today forward, you will either trust the care and services I provide (without the 101 additional questions) or you will submit your written notice of termination."

                          She needs to know you do not NEED her.
                          She needs to either choose to be part of group care or she needs to leave.

                          These are the types of parents I have little patience for. I TOTALLY and completely understand new parents and their uncertanty but this mom doesnt fit that in my opinion. To me, she just seems to want attention and has figured out how to get it through her kids. She wouldnt have lasted my 2 week trial period.

                          Sorry you are having to deal with this OP.

                          Comment

                          • nannyde
                            All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
                            • Mar 2010
                            • 7320

                            #28
                            If you have read my book, reread the PASS (Parental Attention Seeking Syndrome) parent section. Also, you may need to be prepared so read the Hard Core Pawn parent section. It will tell you how this is going to end.
                            http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

                            Comment

                            • Snowmom
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Jan 2015
                              • 1689

                              #29
                              Originally posted by nannyde
                              Her power is in numbers. She has three slots. She's not stupid. In a center she's a blip on the radar. In home care she's got three precious slots.

                              I would just sit her down and tell you you don't have this much parent conferencing built into your fees. You don't have this specific of record keeping and reporting built into your fees.

                              Tell her that although she may feel this is best for her baby, that you couldn't offer the level of service she is requesting for her or any clients for the base price. If she wants this much tracking, access to your time, and communication, you have to raise her rate for the infant so you are compensated for the special services.

                              She can have xyz included in the price as all parents do but if she wants xyz it will be another X $ per week.

                              It's not personal. It's not about what she is specifically asking for. Its simply the time it takes to service her wants and the conferencing to discuss it.

                              Time is money. She should understand that.
                              This makes total sense to me in this situation.
                              It's a very professional response that tells her you don't have time for her demands, and yet offers her a solution if she truly thinks she needs it.

                              Comment

                              • Unregistered

                                #30
                                I'd term.

                                Comment

                                Working...