A first for me. Suggestions?

[laundrymom]

I have a great group. 10 kids aged 6wks to 4 yrs.
my two oldest have recently started talking about weight.
"Fat people"
"Big bellies"
"Chubby tummies"
They are together here at daycare and moms are really great friends so often they see each other 4-6 nights a week as well.
Both moms seem to have healthy body images.
The girls aren't negative about it. They just observe. Make a comment and move on with their day. I didn't really think much about it until yesterday when my 14 yr old walked in and was wearing a skirt that accentuated her small waist but flared just below. Looking poofy. One of the girls said "you fat"
To which my daughter said, well. I think I'm just the size I should be.
And we moved on.
Today same girl was standing and says.
I have a fat belly.
Then looked sad.
I stated she had a perfect belly. And that I just loved every part of her. Then I scooped her up and gave her snuggles and love.

It kind of has me worried now about their (more one than the other) body image.
I can't imagine the parents having or pushing a negative body image on them. But..... You never know what goes on in someone else's home.
I'm thinking of just casually mentioning it to parents and have revamped next week's curriculum to include positive body image lessons. Acceptance and so forth. Neither girl is heavy. They are regularly heathy, active, lanky little girls.
Am I doing everything I need to be?
This whole thing has me rethinking every single comment or lesson.

[Play Care]

While it's pretty normal for kids that age to notice and make observations,
I treat it like I would any other not nice talk. "We don't say that about people. It's not nice" or "that's not nice talk, we don't say someone is fat/chubby etc."

I have no problem giving the child some "thinking time" if they continue with it.

[Cat Herder]

Or.... girl see's Mom, at home, say "I am getting fat" and Dad comes over, kisses her and tells her she is beautiful. They hug, laugh, exchange knowing glances then have cake.

Kid thinks... hmm, that worked.

[laundrymom]

Cat, should I mention? Or stick to observation for now and introduce healthy reinforcements?

Play, they aren't being mean about it so I don't know if what you suggested would work. If they were nasty or cruel in any fashion I would stop it quick, fast, and in a hurry.
I'm more worried about subtle clues I'm seeing that give insight that they think they aren't perfect just the way they are.
I'm really struggling with this.
Geez, 28 years of watching 10 kids a day and this makes me feel inadequate and lost.

[Blackcat31]

Cat, should I mention? Or stick to observation for now and introduce healthy reinforcements?

Play, they aren't being mean about it so I don't know if what you suggested would work. If they were nasty or cruel in any fashion I would stop it quick, fast, and in a hurry.
I'm more worried about subtle clues I'm seeing that give insight that they think they aren't perfect just the way they are.
I'm really struggling with this.
Geez, 28 years of watching 10 kids a day and this makes me feel inadequate and lost.

I think its common at that age to start noticing the differences between one person's body and another's and I doubt the kids are picking up the negativity from their parent (other than in ways that Cat Herder mentioned) but I would bet they are picking it up everywhere.... how can they not?

Even in pictures/ads with out words, the message is still there. I think society as a whole has some pretty warped ideas on what people should and shouldn't look like. Even a 12 second commercial on TV sends a life long message.

I would treat it like any other lesson you want them to know about humanity and goodness. Do a lesson in diversity and talk about the different shapes, sizes and colors that people (men, women and children) come in. Talk about things like the outside being like the cover of a book. It's just the visual but not the REAL worth of the book. Things like that.....

Good luck... that IS a tough subject because no matter what we do as caregivers, educators and parents.... our kids will always be subject to the unhealthy messages they get from society in so many different ways.

[Cat Herder]

With all the "childhood obesity" ads on tv, it is starting to become a daily discussion for many kids.

I'd just keep redirecting the discussion to "healthy", "strong" and "growing".

I think this may be part of the classroom growth charts they are pushing. Along with height, age and weight, they are now encouraging us to include handprints/footprints to show differences and similarities.

It is being touted as "math" and "diversity". :confused: The kids LOVE it, though.

[Blackcat31]

With all the "childhood obesity" ads on tv, it is starting to become a daily discussion for many kids.

I'd just keep redirecting the discussion to "healthy", "strong" and "growing".

I think this may be part of the classroom growth charts they are pushing. Along with height, age and weight, they are now encouraging us to include handprints/footprints to show differences and similarities.

It is being touted as "math" and "diversity". :confused:

YES!! Even tracking it for the right reasons (obesity prevention/healthy nutrition) sends the wrong message.

"Track your weight. Don't let it get over or under the normal range"
"Oh, look Suzie grew an inch but Bobby grew 3 inches"


Depending on perception, self-esteem and understanding of the bigger picture that can all send the wrong message.

[Cat Herder]

Depending on perception, self-esteem and understanding of the bigger picture that can all send the wrong message.

Exactly.


That is why I added the family dog, myself, my husband and classroom newt to ours. I added photos of their favorite food (fruits and veggies, only for humans), too... the cricket in a top hat next to the little newt is the cherry on top. ::::

I tweaked ours for my pleasure.

[MyAngels]

In addition to what the gurus said, I would mention it to parents just in case there are messages coming from somewhere else, even unintentionally, so they can be on the lookout. I say that because my own mother is guilty at times of making comments about size to her grandkids and now great grandkids. She's not trying to denigrate anyone, she just doesn't really know how kids take that sort of thing to heart these days.

[daycare]

we have this issue... I have a sibling set that are very large for their age.

dcg is 4 and about 75-80lbs
her brother who is about 6 is about 90-100

the kids do ask and I will say we are all different, no one is the same. I pont out our eyes, our hair, our clothing.

We have not done it, but there is this rainbow activity that everyone is a different color but together create a beautiful rainbow.

After talking about how we are different, I point out their strengths. If someone says Elliott is fat, I will say Elliott is a great reader. Sometimes I pay no mind to their rude words and give it attention. It works. I can't recall it ever happening again.

Now if Elliott heard the kid say that, I would require a talk with an apology. I try to always focus on why people are great.

do you do an about me theme?

[Ariana]

From studies I have read on body image girls get this from watching mom, nowhere else. 98% of women are unhappy with their bodies so it is no wonder girls are starting to notice and comment on things like this, not to mention the "fat shaming" that goes on towards others. How many times have we all made negative comments about our bodies? I know I have when I thought little ears were nowhere around.

Another study suggests that dad has more influence than mom when it comes to healthy eating and exercise.

[daycarediva]

From studies I have read on body image girls get this from watching mom, nowhere else. 98% of women are unhappy with their bodies so it is no wonder girls are starting to notice and comment on things like this, not to mention the "fat shaming" that goes on towards others. How many times have we all made negative comments about our bodies? I know I have when I thought little ears were nowhere around.

Another study suggests that dad has more influence than mom when it comes to healthy eating and exercise.

I've heard similar information. They hear mom say "Ugh, these shorts make my thighs look huge." They watch her step on the scale, frown, step off.

They see soooo much of this in the media now as well.

This is a big concern for me with my current crew. I have one child with an over abundance of positive self esteem. ('I'm so awesome! I'm PERFECT! Everyone just LOVES ME!") One who struggles (at 3!) with feeling good about herself happens to have an overweight Mom. Child 1 said to child 2 "You have a baby in your tummy? It's big and fat." I put a stop to it immediately. Child is NOT overweight, right at 50-50 for weight and height, very active. I mentioned it to her Mom at pickup because dcg kept repeating it, and Mom said "You're built just like your mama poor thing." WELL THAT WAS HELPFUL!



I'm following to see what others have to say!

[Ariana]

I had an overweight girl in my last daycare crew and one time she got very sick and lost a bunch of weight. The poor girl missed 2 weeks of daycare and came back looking emaciated in my opinion. I commented to the mom and she said "Hopefully she stays that way". I was in absolute shock. I thought the child looked sick. Sure she was a bit chubby before but nothing serious and she was healthy!! Meanwhile the mom was a total gym rat and was clearly anorexic (to me anyway). SOOO Sad They are no longer with me but I just feel so bad for that little girl. She gained the weight back of course and I am sure her mom has not let up about it.

[Baby Beluga]

I breaks my heart to read this

I grew up with a very judgmental mother. She would always criticize her weight and appearance as well as make very loud comments about strangers when we are in public.

When I had my own daughter I became hyper aware of the little messages that are everywhere. I make sure to always focus on the healthy aspect with my own DD and the DC children. We do an all about me week and in September our positive social goal is "accepting differences."

[Play Care]

Cat, should I mention? Or stick to observation for now and introduce healthy reinforcements?

Play, they aren't being mean about it so I don't know if what you suggested would work. If they were nasty or cruel in any fashion I would stop it quick, fast, and in a hurry.
I'm more worried about subtle clues I'm seeing that give insight that they think they aren't perfect just the way they are.
I'm really struggling with this.
Geez, 28 years of watching 10 kids a day and this makes me feel inadequate and lost.

I do know what you mean, but just because they don't mean it to be mean, doesn't mean it isn't mean, KWIM ::::::

The 4 yo in the bank who observes loudly "MOMMY! That man has a HUGE tummy!" Isn't saying it to be mean. But at some point we do need to teach kids that it's not nice to make those kinds of comments.
My tone would be matter of fact, just as with any lesson I feel the need to impart "Susie, it isn't nice to say someone has a big tummy, it could make them very sad. Please don't say that again." And give them words TO say " you can tell her that you like the color of her shirt, or that she has cool shoes, etc"

Maybe I'm not doing it right, but I've always kind of thought that it's never okay to make comments on someone's appeared unless you are telling them you LIKE something about it.