Diner Lady Who Yelled At Parents of Screaming Kid

[MarinaVanessa]

The mother wrote an article with her side of the story. There is also a review she wrote on the restaurant. The owner responded back with a long paragraph FULL of curse words and threats (this was before the whole story went viral) I will try and find the link. Just from the outrageous and unprofessional response of the owner in the review, I would guess that the owner flipped out on the parents as the parents described.

I've seen the review and the parent interview. I don't doubt that the owner yelled, cursed and behaved badly ... but I still feel like the parents could have avoided the situation by leaving when asked. It wasn't until after they refused to leave that the owner yelled at them (the parents, not the toddler like the parents have said ... according to clients that were there that day).

Neither party behaved well in my opinion but the owner was in HER business, at that point the customers became trespassers when they refused to leave ... I wouldn't have been that irate but I would have been hostile if I were in the position of losing business because of one family.

[renodeb]

To be really honest, I think this story has gotten way out of hand. No the owners should not of "yelled" at the child. She should of handled it in a very professional manner. With out being there it is hard to say what really happened. I heard the child was crying for an hour and the parents continued to ignore her. As a child care provider, when I go to a restaurant I want to enjoy myself, and relax. I don't want to hear whiny children (that would be excessively whiny). I understand that kids are kids but if your child is really causing a racket do something about it!.
Debbie

[ColorfulSunburst]

Now people of the city know where they can eat without any crying children around. ::

[Unregistered]

Response from Mother someone mentioned above.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/07/22/im-the-mom-whose-encounter-with-an-angry-maine-diner-owner-went-viral-heres-what-happened/?tid=sm_fb

[Unregistered]

As the owner stated, the family is clearly f-ing crazy for ordering 3 pancakes in the first place. (3 pancakes!? What are they thinking!)

Seriously, this owner is insane!

[Play Care]

From different articles and interviews with the parents, the diner owner and some of the customers that were in the restaurant that day the only ones saying that the owner yelled at the toddler are the parents.

Everyone else is saying that the owner yelled at the parents after customers complained about the child crying for MORE than 40 minutes and giving them the option of either quieting the toddler or leaving and taking their food to go and the parents refused to do either. That's when the owner went ballistic on the parents.

I'm not condoning the owner's behavior at all and think she also behaved badly but I do feel like the parents are crying victim and acting like they are not at fault when in fact they allowed their toddler to cry loudly while upsetting other customers and then refused to leave when told to do so. Then they left a bad review on the Diner's FB page and the Owner responded very badly to it.

Neither the parents nor the owner behaved very adult like but I have to say I kind of side with the owner. Of course I would have just called the police and had them removed instead of yelling at them after they refused to leave and I wouldn't have responded the way she did to the review since it reflects badly on her and her business but the parents could have avoided the entire situation in the first place if one of them would have just picked the toddler up and taker the toddler outside while she cried.

If you really read comments that people leave in the online news feeds you'll notice that the majority of people are siding with the owner even though she behaved very badly.

From the article with the moms side of it, it sounds as if they were not really asked to leave... The owner yelled across the diner to them but never came over and actually asked. In fact it seemed as though they didn't even realize she was being serious. Nor did their waitress back up the owner and say "guys you need to leave" according the them the child had fussed while waiting but was eating happily at the time. It was also raining outside during this and since the baby had stopped fussing they continued to sit inside. (This according to the mom)
I also think most people in the U.S. despise children. Yes, I said it. We are a very kid unfriendly society (so much so that Tourists from other countries have commented on this) - the message I take away from most of these stories is that kids are welcome so long as they are seen and not heard (this includes regular shatter or happy sounds) I willing to bet most of the commentary is from people who have been on a plane or in a restaurant with a tantruming child and are projecting their experience on to this. It would be interesting to see a post from someone who could prove they were actually in the restaurant that day to get a legit third party account.

***Please don't think I'm in any way condoning a child screaming in public and parents doing nothing.*** not my point at all.

I just think had the owner acted professionally and really asked them to leave (or even packaged their food to go as suggested above) and the parents continued to stay I would have more sympathy for the owner.
She behaved like an asshat and continues to behave like an asshat.

Frankly she sounds overwhelmed. If a diner owner in a resort town can't handle slinging hash for a crowd on a weekend morning then she's in the wrong line of business.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I don't believe the mom's opinion piece. She admits the baby had a tantrum and was still fussing when they got their food, so they decided to eat quickly and then leave. THEY were hungry, so that meant everyone else had to listen to the TODDLER (not baby) as they shoveled pancakes in their mouth. They should not have needed to be ASKED to leave. They should have left of their own accord. They knew the wait time to be seated was over 30 minutes and even said the place was jammed packed. They then waited 40 minutes for their food. The long wait for food is not their fault, but they still had a choice of whether to wait or to leave and grab some quick food. When the food arrived, they had a choice to box it up and go, or to let the child "fuss" and eat their food.

The owner acted like a crazy person. She sounded like a lady who needs a day off from her diner. The only thing I like, though, is that she said she was guilty of bad judgment. She wasn't sorry, but she did admit to going overboard. The parents have not admitted to any wrong doing. The mom says they never expected their little trip to Maine to make national headlines...as she writes a piece for the Washington Post. She was also the first to start the media circus by posting the bad review on the public FB page for the diner. I just don't buy the whole "poor me and my poor baby". It seems way too convenient. I think the owner acted like a fool, but at least it felt authentic.

And on a side note, apparently true Maine residents do NOT like New Yorker tourists! Definetely some tension with residents ad tourists!

[Play Care]

The other day I was at an ice cream stand. While we were there a group of disabled adults and their staff came. One of the folks was clearly upset and kept making this horrible loud moaning noises. It was ear piercing.

No one shot them looks, or yelled at them, or asked them to leave.

Eventually they did leave, but on their own accord with no commentary from anyone else.

Why is it okay for one group but not others? Why do we have an age limit on compassion?

I think most parents try to do the best they can with the options they think they have at time. Now, could the parents have planned better? I think lesson learned here.
But I still maintain we are a "children should be seen and not heard" society and if a child is crying/tantruming in public the general consensus is that the parents are lazy and not doing their job.

I recall a story of a woman and toddler on an airplane where the toddler lost her mind. Nothing mom tried worked. When the plane landed mom was handed a note by another passenger - the note detailed what a failure the mom was and what she should have done to keep her child quiet on the flight. The thing is, the mom had done all those things - they didn't work...

I'm not saying the parents should have stayed or shouldn't have been asked to leave. They totally should have been if its as bad as described.
But you do so in a professional and kind manner. Just as you wouldn't yell at a group of disabled adults for behaving in similar fashion, you shouldn't be yelling at someone else's kid.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

The other day I was at an ice cream stand. While we were there a group of disabled adults and their staff came. One of the folks was clearly upset and kept making this horrible loud moaning noises. It was ear piercing.

No one shot them looks, or yelled at them, or asked them to leave.

Eventually they did leave, but on their own accord with no commentary from anyone else.

Why is it okay for one group but not others? Why do we have an age limit on compassion?

I think most parents try to do the best they can with the options they think they have at time. Now, could the parents have planned better? I think lesson learned here.
But I still maintain we are a "children should be seen and not heard" society and if a child is crying/tantruming in public the general consensus is that the parents are lazy and not doing their job.

I recall a story of a woman and toddler on an airplane where the toddler lost her mind. Nothing mom tried worked. When the plane landed mom was handed a note by another passenger - the note detailed what a failure the mom was and what she should have done to keep her child quiet on the flight. The thing is, the mom had done all those things - they didn't work...

I'm not saying the parents should have stayed or shouldn't have been asked to leave. They totally should have been if its as bad as described.
But you do so in a professional and kind manner. Just as you wouldn't yell at a group of disabled adults for behaving in similar fashion, you shouldn't be yelling at someone else's kid.

I was a nanny for a child with autism and I did not treat him differently when he had a melt down in public. We left. Same as we have done with our toddler and anytime I have had a daycare baby do the same. I think people are more forgiving of people with disabilities, though, because they can't help it. I am not saying a two year old should know better than to have a meltdown, but how you react to it teaches them for future situations. I don't think ignoring it in a public place is the right approach. They feel ignored and it tends to make it a lot worse, not better. Removing them until they calm down and then talking with them on what is okay and not okay lets them know that throwing a tantrum in the store will not do you any good. Of course, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure (or something like that?). I wouldn't expect my already cranky two year old to wait almost 70 minutes to be fed. We would have hit up Mcdonalds and called it a day

I do agree that there is less tolerance for children nowadays, but I kind of wonder if that is because people are fed up with parents like the ones in the story. They let their kid flip out and then ignore it, making everyone else have to deal with it. I don't believe that if my kids starts wailing a Walmart, I should ignore it and go about my shopping. I will leave my cart and pick them up and leave and this has happened and it stinks, so I totally have compassion for parents, but not for parents who choose not to do anything. A lot of times, parents have heard their kid throw a fit and they learn to tune it out, not realizing that in public, other people not be as good at that as they are.

I also agree that owner was out of line. Maybe she was frustrated, bad day, expected parents to handle it and when they didn't she flew off the handle? Regardless, she should have handled it better! I have no problem with children in public, even when they get upset. What generally upsets me is how the parents chose to handle it or not handle it. It was not the toddlers fault she was upset, but it was the parent's fault for not dealing with it. Just my opinion, but again, I agree that BOTH parties could have done things so much differently and then we wouldn't even be having this discussion!

[Rockgirl]

The other day I was at an ice cream stand. While we were there a group of disabled adults and their staff came. One of the folks was clearly upset and kept making this horrible loud moaning noises. It was ear piercing.

No one shot them looks, or yelled at them, or asked them to leave.

Eventually they did leave, but on their own accord with no commentary from anyone else.

Why is it okay for one group but not others? Why do we have an age limit on compassion?

The main difference I see here is that a child is in the stage of life where he/she is learning--this is the time for them to be taught what is appropriate and what isn't. I don't like the 'seen and not heard' philosophy, but screaming/crying for an extended length of time in a public place is inappropriate. A child can be taught about how their behavior affects the people around them.

The disabled adult you described isn't "acting out". He/she isn't going to learn "Hey, this isn't okay....stop, or we leave." That's why people at the ice cream stand didn't make comments, in my opinion.

[TXhomedaycare]

I read both articles and even though the diner owner was unprofessional and rude I really feel like the parents did not handle the situation properly. As a parent a 30 minute wait with my 4 yo and 1 yo old means we go somewhere else. Even if that means fast food or being in the rain instead. I recently went out to eat with my husband and 2 boys and there was a couple with a infant who allowed their baby to cry for our entire meal time. We left before they did and on my way out I had to look at them and see who these people were who felt they should subject everyone to their child crying for at least 45 minutes. I didn't give them the evil eye but I didn't give them the understanding mom grin either because they should have left and I had had enough. I come prepared with multiple things for my kids to do and if that doesn't work we will leave (I have never had to leave before though). I don't think America is anti children but I do think not everyone is on board with everything being child centered which didn't use to be the case. Everyone seems determined to force their lifestyle on everyone else. I chose to have kids so I manage them in a way that doesn't require others to get involved. We are always respectful and considerate of others and I always have a plan when we go somewhere because children require planning ahead. The diner owner seems unprofessional and crazy and the mother seemed unrealistic and seemed to make a rookie mistake.

[Silly Songs]

In the heat of the moment , the diner owner yelled at the parents/baby. Mom posts about her experience on the diner's FB page. This is AFTER everything happened. The diner owner reacts by cursing and calling the parents all kinds of names. I think the diner owner is in the wrong 100 percent. Even if the parents let the child cry for awhile, the diner owner reacted very badly. Why the need to call the parents names and curse on social media ? She owns a diner , open to the public ! The parents should have taken the child outside, yes . But do they deserve to be treated the way they were treated ? Absolutely not. The mom complained in a respectful manner . Diner owner went beserk. She doesn't like criticism. I understand her being upset , but her reaction is over the top inappropriate. If you read the Facebook page for the diner , there are a few horrible posts from someone who runs the Facebook page , full of cursing and swearing. I'm on the parents side , even if the child cried for awhile . So they didn't leave . That's a bad choice . That doesn't make them bad parents.

[Play Care]

In the heat of the moment , the diner owner yelled at the parents/baby. Mom posts about her experience on the diner's FB page. This is AFTER everything happened. The diner owner reacts by cursing and calling the parents all kinds of names. I think the diner owner is in the wrong 100 percent. Even if the parents let the child cry for awhile, the diner owner reacted very badly. Why the need to call the parents names and curse on social media ? She owns a diner , open to the public ! The parents should have taken the child outside, yes . But do they deserve to be treated the way they were treated ? Absolutely not. The mom complained in a respectful manner . Diner owner went beserk. She doesn't like criticism. I understand her being upset , but her reaction is over the top inappropriate. If you read the Facebook page for the diner , there are a few horrible posts from someone who runs the Facebook page , full of cursing and swearing. I'm on the parents side , even if the child cried for awhile . So they didn't leave . That's a bad choice . That doesn't make them bad parents.

This!
I have acknowledged that the parents should have removed the child - buuut, they're on vacation, maybe not 100% familiar with the area, everyone's hungry and the food been ordered. As a parent I've been there. Trying to make the best, quickest possible choice while the walls fall down around my ears.

Every time the diner owner opens her mouth or posts something it's horrible profanity filled ranting. She sounds like an absolute nut.

[laundrymom]

Why didn't one parent wait inside for table and other take sweetness to the car to wait? I'm sure I'm not
The only parent to do that.

[racemom]

When my son was 16 months we went in to a chain restaurant to eat. After ordering ds decided to throw a tantrum. After trying to calm him for a minute or two, I took him to the car while dh asked for our food to be boxed up to go. Yes I sat in the car for a while waiting for our food with a crying child, but nobody else had to deal with his crying. Sure, It was not what we planned, but I think people need to think of others.