Not Sure What to Think - Peanut Allergy

[Tasha]

I would let her call and I would tell her what nan said. I would make certain to make it clear that it's not matter of CANT it's a matter of WILL NOT.

Does she have a legal case against me if I say this?

[Rockgirl]

I love this letter but don't you think she will think I am taunting her with the bolded part?

You could always just say you won't be available to talk this evening, then use the rest of the letter.

[childcaremom]

I would tell her that you unfortunately are unavailable to talk on the phone. That your decision is final and that the circumstances are such that you cannot disclose the personal information.

I would then suggest that she call your local referral agency and leave it at that.

Not too much info but enough to say that it isn't open for discussion.

(I think you dodged a HUGE bullet with this dcm.)

[daycare]

Does she have a legal case against me if I say this?

I can't say, but in CA we have the right to refuse service if we feel that we can not meet the needs of the child or that it would jeopardize the care of the other children in any way shape or form.

She needs a nut free environment, you are not one, therefore she can not enroll.

[daycare]

I would tell her that you unfortunately are unavailable to talk on the phone. That your decision is final and that the circumstances are such that you cannot disclose the personal information.

I would then suggest that she call your local referral agency and leave it at that.

Not too much info but enough to say that it isn't open for discussion.

(I think you dodged a HUGE bullet with this dcm.)

leave that part out. Only take from it what you are comfortable with saying.

[Unregistered]

On a side note...this mother is already causing you stress and the child hasn't even officially started yet. Imagine the nightmare this mother would have turned into trying to bully you into any number of things in the future.
Stand up for yourself, your family and your business don't be sorry, dont be wishwashy, tell her this is how it is in your home center. Tell her that you will not be providing care. Thank her for her interest and hang up.

If she insist:
Tell her she is more than welcome to bring her child but you will contact your lawyer before hand at her expense and she and her husband will have to sign a waiver releasing you and your center from negligence or liability because your center is and will not be nut free.

[nannyde]

I love this letter but don't you think she will think I am taunting her with the bolded part?

No

She does BOLD in your face. She speaka da language.

I have a hard time believing her kid just got diagnosed because that is a process and she knows a helluva lot about it considering her kid just got diagnosed five minutes ago.

My guess is she left the last daycare over this and every time she says the kid has this upfront she gets turned away. She's most likely gone onto some mommy Facebook groups who have gotten her schooled on how to force her way in. She was unprepared for special meets special. She needs more specifics so she can insist the other special can do it another way. Without having this info she can't force you to do it AND the mommy groups won't have any good advice.

You MUST get a note from your doctor stating your child is to use nut products to manage her blood sugar. Have that on hand for the DHS visit you will be getting soon.

With the child's start date so soon you seriously wouldn't even have TIME to test out other food products that may help stabilize her sugars and frankly she shouldn't have to be a guinea pig for another special needs kids special needs. There are a zillion daycares out there ... the mom needs to figure it out not you and your special needs kid.

[MyAngels]

Well shoot. I had hoped for the best, guess I should have known better ::

What Nannyde said sounds like the perfect way to handle this.

She's just miffed because she thought she was going to bully you, and you can't be bullied. Shame on her.

[Josiegirl]

Of course I have no clue what her financial situation is but you would think, in a case like this, a mom would sacrifice a bit for a few years and stay home with her own child. That's what I'd do.

[Thriftylady]

Of course I have no clue what her financial situation is but you would think, in a case like this, a mom would sacrifice a bit for a few years and stay home with her own child. That's what I'd do.

Or get a nanny.

[crazydaycarelady]

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is that if the child is severly allergic to peanuts you would have to be trained or taught how to use an epi pen. Just one more inconvenience.

I had a kid with a severe nut allergy and he once came into contact with nuts while we were on a field trip. His throat started to closed and he started vomiting. I of course did not have the epi pen with us (lesson learned) but it was the scariest thing EVER! Never again!

[cheerfuldom]

I would not answer any more calls or emails from her. The decision has been communicated. I would send the deposit by certified mail so you know she got it. The only response I would give her is if she asks about the deposit, I would reply with the tracking number only so she knows that you have tracking on it and can see when she got it.

Do NOT answer the phone! She will only take more of your time by crying and complaining about your decisions or worse, arguing and whatnot. There is nothing to be gained by that. The only response I would give her by email is "I understand you are upset, but the decision is final." Do not let her bait you and do not worry about her threats if it comes to that. You havent done anything wrong and she should be thankful that you are honest in letting her child go if you cannot accommodate her.

[Tasha]

The call

DCM did call me last night and I am still furious and upset. She told me that it was very unprofessional of me to accept a child, then reject her when discovering her care might require ''a little bit more work.'' I asked her if she read my email, that I had a child whose diet is dependent on peanuts. That it wasn't a matter of just a little more work. She got sarcastic and said ''Right, she just has to have peanuts or something terrible will happen.''
So right there I cut her off and told her there were plenty of childcare options in our city, and good luck. But then, this: What if they all discriminate against us like you have? I told her that I am not discriminating against anyone, and I am hanging up the phone. And I did. And now I am praying I never hear from her again.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Oh man Well, ont he bright side, you dodged a HUGE bullet! Good luck to whoever ends up accepting her kid!

[nannyde]

DCM did call me last night and I am still furious and upset. She told me that it was very unprofessional of me to accept a child, then reject her when discovering her care might require ''a little bit more work.'' I asked her if she read my email, that I had a child whose diet is dependent on peanuts. That it wasn't a matter of just a little more work. She got sarcastic and said ''Right, she just has to have peanuts or something terrible will happen.''
So right there I cut her off and told her there were plenty of childcare options in our city, and good luck. But then, this: What if they all discriminate against us like you have? I told her that I am not discriminating against anyone, and I am hanging up the phone. And I did. And now I am praying I never hear from her again.

She will most likely turn you in. Get a note from your Doc and get your house ready for an inspection. Just remember... going thru an inspection you know is coming and getting a note from your Doc is a few days of inconvenience. Having to adjust your child's diet and rid your life and the incoming daycare kids life of peanuts is WAY more of a problem. Take one for the team and just nut up for the inspection.