Do Your Personal Children Help With Daycare Related Things?

[mamamanda]

Families take care of each other. That's how I look at it. My son started contributing at 13 months old. :: Of course, you don't demand "work" from a child, but he helped dust, sweep, set/wipe the table, fold and put away laundry, reload the washing machine (its front load) and a range of other household duties starting shortly after he could walk. It's not like he has a chore chart, he just works and plays along side me while I'm doing my job and he mimics what I do. He has his own little broom, small dusting wand, and a pretend vacuum that really sounds like its working. Now he's four and he lets the dog in and out and feeds the animals with supervision of course. I can't imagine having a teenager and not expecting them to do their part. I think I'd be having her take on some responsibility around the house, or she'd find her own money for eating out and the movies.

[Controlled Chaos]

Love and Logic.

There would be consequences for the choice not to help. Next time she asks for cash for anything "Sorry honey, I had to spend my extra cash to pay your friends to help me carry the furniture".

My mom teaches at a college and every year my brother and I helped load boxes of syllabi and handouts into her van, drive to the school, clean her classroom and set up for the first day of school. Our payment? Lunch and a good work ethic

[AmyLeigh]

Our payment? Lunch and a good work ethic

[Heidi]

It might be your job, but this job pays for the roof over your daughters head and all of life's other necessities. She should be helping - either with DC stuff or with regular household chores and maintenance. In the example you provided, she should have helped simply because it was the right thing to do, especially since she was not doing anything else at the moment.

You DO have every right to expect her help. If she doesn't like it, she knows where the door is. Seriously!

And, you, Missy (PV), need to drink some milk! The calcium will give you a stronger back bone. You let WAY too many people tread right over you. Now go look in the mirror, and say nice things to yourself!

[Annalee]

My sons have things I expect them to do for persons like grandma & family members or elderly persons like clean gutters, rake the yard, mow, and things for me like cleaning up my playground, etc. I explain that there is no money for this, it is just the RIGHT thing to do...help others in times of need.

I have chores for our home as well. They do receive a small allowance monthly and they do not get it till end of month which has encouraged them to save because $5 weekly doesn't go very far, but $20 is huge to a child.

They have to buy their own bait for fishing which they love to do with their own money. I feel it is teaching them how to manage and that mom can't buy everything. They have expectations for this allowance and they receive deductions for every backtalk or disrespectful word out of their mouth.

[permanentvacation]

I just took my daughter to the doctor's and told her that she hasn't been taking her medicine (Zoloft which she is taking for depression) on a consistent basis. Some days she'd be running late for school and not have the time to take it. Other days on the weekends, she'd sleep over her friend's house and forget to take it. Randomly throughout the week, she'd occasionally remember to take it. She's 17 years old. I expect her to be able to take her medicine without me having to tell her to. But even on days I tell her to, she will apparently say, "okay." to me and then still not take the couple of seconds to take her medicine. So I thought she's been taking the medicine when I tell her to and when she says 'okay'. But I just learned that she's been skipping her medicine more than I knew.

The doctor said that if you take Zoloft inconsistently, it can make you have major mood swings including extreme hatefulness and irritability. Which is exactly what she's been doing. So, all the attitude problems I've been getting from her for the past month or so might just be (hopefully is and probably is) from her not taking the medicine consistently. So I am going to make sure to give her the medicine every day and make her take it in front of me to be sure she actually takes it every day. Hopefully after taking it daily for a few days she will get back to being more helpful, respectful, caring, and overall have a better attitude and personality.

[permanentvacation]

I also believe that everyone in the household should simply pitch in to help take care of the household chores. But lately I've gotten nothing but back talk or completely ignored when I ask or tell my younger one to do anything. Hopefully it is just from her not taking the medicine correctly.

[kendallina]

Household chores daily and weekly for my daughter and she does not get paid for those. She does receive a weekly 'paycheck' for helping out in my summer camp program- she cleans, helps the children with their tasks and is the only one that can convince one of my 3-year olds to use the bathroom or take off his shoes---haha! She's only 6 yrs old, so she receives $1 per day of help (4 days per week).

As far as helping you carry in heavy stuff like furniture, yes, I think she should help you. It's part of being a decent human being that if she sees someone carrying something heavy, she should offer to help. I wouldn't personally pay for this, but other daycare tasks I would probably pay her for as if it were a job, does that make sense?

ETA: She'll probably be more careful with money if she earns enough weekly (through working with you or whatever) to pay for her own McDonalds and extras. I would probably not give her anything beyond whatever 'paycheck' or 'allowance' you decide on, though.

[Blackcat31]

ANYONE living under MY roof and accepting food, clothing or shelter on my dime pitches in.

I don't care if you were birthed into the family or invited through the front door....if you are residing here (my house) you are working here.

WITHOUT monetary compensation.

[spinnymarie]

I'd give her two options for how you two deal with money.

Option 1: The money is freely given, as it has been, and help with whatever you ask is also freely given. She needs to go to the movies? You got it. You need to rearrange furniture? She jumps up.

Option 2: She is paid a specific hourly wage for helping, down to the minute, and gets that money and that money only. She has her own cash, can decide whether she wants to help or not, and thus decides whether she has the money to go to the movies or not.

Personally, I'd be enforcing the second option if I got any resistance with the first.

But I see you figured out a medical issue, so hopefully that will also help!

[Unregistered]

Get the point across by charging her for food/ meals/ laundry/ rent, ect..
She wants a shower...then that is 5 dollars. She needs to do her laundry..show her the laundry basket and tell her where the nearest laundry mat is. Everyone in the house pitches in or pays their share either with payment or by working it off.

[laundrymom]

Back the truck up!!
She's wrong.

Here my kids are 24.21.17&14. Two have moved out and they STILL HELP ME!! For FREE

Carrying, toting, moving, loading, cleaning etc. they even sub for me for free. They're my kids. My family.

Wether they live here or not makes no matter. As for the ones still here, same deal. They help. Every time I need it. It's part of being in our family. I'm afraid of my reaction if one of mine said no. I think it would be swift and severe.

Such as carrying in items that you bought for daycare (daycare toys, supplies such as diapers (if you supply them), furniture such as bookshelves you just bought for the daycare room, etc.

Do your personal children help with rearranging the daycare room or anything related to daycare?

If they do help, do you pay them for their help? Do you pay them per situation? Such as $5.00 to carry in the new items you just bought.

Or do they just help you for free?

Here's my thought... My younger daughter is an older teenager who constantly (well, at least as soon as she sees that I have a little money) gets money for me to go out to eat (typically at McDonald's), go to the movies, etc. And she NEVER gives me my change. So, since she gets money out of me for things that I don't have to provide for her, I feel that I should be able to get her to help me with daycare related things.

However, her view is that anything related to daycare is my job and she shouldn't have to help me with my job. If I worked out of the house at an office job, she certainly wouldn't be helping me carry paper from the supply room to the copier.

So, I do see her point. However, since she's sitting right there in the house when I pull up with a bunch of stuff to carry in, or when I start moving things around in the daycare room, I just feel that I should be able to get my teenager to help me carry things and move things.

A perfect example a situation that I just had is... I bought some personal furniture, a desk for myself, a dining room table for my household, a new bed for HER, a new bookshelf and a good bit of new toys and educational items for the daycare. I asked my personal daughter to help me rearrange the living room (daycare room) and dining room to accommodate the new items. She flat out refused to help. So I hired one of the boys that grew up with my older daughter and I also hired my younger daughter's (the one that refused to help) best friend to help me with everything. So, my daughter's best friend and the older guy were on the main floor helping me move everything and my personal daughter was up in her room laying on her bed, hanging out in her room and doing nothing. Maybe it's me. But something about my own teenager laying on her bed (by the way, I also had just bought her a brand new bed and brand new sheets and comforter for the bed) while I'm paying her best friend to help me just had me shaking my head the whole time. I literally paid the guy to put her old bed into my truck so I could take it to the dump. She wouldn't even help get rid of her old bed to make room for the new bed I bought her.

I have also paid the girl across the street (she's a little younger than my daughter) a couple of times to carry the things out of my car into my house even though my daughter was home.

Now, no. I didn't offer to pay my own daughter to help me because she gets money from me all the time for doing absolutely nothing. She doesn't do any chores. I could literally drop dead while lugging furniture up the stairs and she'd probably just check my purse for money and go to the movies leaving me laying there dead at the bottom of the stairs. She literally does nothing to help with the household. Well, she does wash her own laundry and clean her own room. But she helps with nothing regarding the household.

So, who's right here? Do you leave your teenager alone or do you get him/her to help you with things related to daycare? And if you get their help, do you pay them for helping you or do you just expect them to help you because they are part of the family that is benefiting from your daycare? Would you feel that it would be reasonable to hire outside help for things that I mentioned above while your own teenager is home so they don't have to help you?

[laundrymom]

My opinion, you can't remember to take your meds or whatever else you need to do, I treat you like a child. You go no where without me and are in bed by 8:30 like a child. When you act like an adult, I'll treat you like one. Period.

I just took my daughter to the doctor's and told her that she hasn't been taking her medicine (Zoloft which she is taking for depression) on a consistent basis. Some days she'd be running late for school and not have the time to take it. Other days on the weekends, she'd sleep over her friend's house and forget to take it. Randomly throughout the week, she'd occasionally remember to take it. She's 17 years old. I expect her to be able to take her medicine without me having to tell her to. But even on days I tell her to, she will apparently say, "okay." to me and then still not take the couple of seconds to take her medicine. So I thought she's been taking the medicine when I tell her to and when she says 'okay'. But I just learned that she's been skipping her medicine more than I knew.

The doctor said that if you take Zoloft inconsistently, it can make you have major mood swings including extreme hatefulness and irritability. Which is exactly what she's been doing. So, all the attitude problems I've been getting from her for the past month or so might just be (hopefully is and probably is) from her not taking the medicine consistently. So I am going to make sure to give her the medicine every day and make her take it in front of me to be sure she actually takes it every day. Hopefully after taking it daily for a few days she will get back to being more helpful, respectful, caring, and overall have a better attitude and personality.

[Blackcat31]

My opinion, you can't remember to take your meds or whatever else you need to do, I treat you like a child. You go no where without me and are in bed by 8:30 like a child. When you act like an adult, I'll treat you like one. Period

I just took my daughter to the doctor's and told her that she hasn't been taking her medicine (Zoloft which she is taking for depression) on a consistent basis. Some days she'd be running late for school and not have the time to take it. Other days on the weekends, she'd sleep over her friend's house and forget to take it. Randomly throughout the week, she'd occasionally remember to take it. She's 17 years old. I expect her to be able to take her medicine without me having to tell her to. But even on days I tell her to, she will apparently say, "okay." to me and then still not take the couple of seconds to take her medicine. So I thought she's been taking the medicine when I tell her to and when she says 'okay'. But I just learned that she's been skipping her medicine more than I knew.

The doctor said that if you take Zoloft inconsistently, it can make you have major mood swings including extreme hatefulness and irritability. Which is exactly what she's been doing. So, all the attitude problems I've been getting from her for the past month or so might just be (hopefully is and probably is) from her not taking the medicine consistently. So I am going to make sure to give her the medicine every day and make her take it in front of me to be sure she actually takes it every day. Hopefully after taking it daily for a few days she will get back to being more helpful, respectful, caring, and overall have a better attitude and personality.

The problem with those who suffer from depression isn't always remembering to take their meds, its the cycle of taking them, feeling better and then thinking you don't NEED them (because you feel better) and then not taking them.

I don't really believe it has to do with remembering/forgetting at all.

It's a painful and tough cycle to be caught up in for not only the person needing the meds but those in their lives as well.

[laundrymom]

The problem with those who suffer from depression isn't always remembering to take their meds, its the cycle of taking them, feeling better and then thinking you don't NEED them (because you feel better) and then not taking them.

I don't really believe it has to do with remembering/forgetting at all.

It's a painful and tough cycle to be caught up in for not only the person needing the meds but those in their lives as well.

I hadn't thought of that aspect BC. Thanks for the bringing that up. However, at 17 I would hope daughter could be trusted to use an alarm system, list, email program, highlighter on a calendar.... Something. PV can't forever be there and needs to be able to relax, knowing her daughter is on it. I feel for her but think daughter should show mom some more respect and love. She deserves it.