Do Your Personal Children Help With Daycare Related Things?

[permanentvacation]

Such as carrying in items that you bought for daycare (daycare toys, supplies such as diapers (if you supply them), furniture such as bookshelves you just bought for the daycare room, etc.

Do your personal children help with rearranging the daycare room or anything related to daycare?

If they do help, do you pay them for their help? Do you pay them per situation? Such as $5.00 to carry in the new items you just bought.

Or do they just help you for free?

Here's my thought... My younger daughter is an older teenager who constantly (well, at least as soon as she sees that I have a little money) gets money for me to go out to eat (typically at McDonald's), go to the movies, etc. And she NEVER gives me my change. So, since she gets money out of me for things that I don't have to provide for her, I feel that I should be able to get her to help me with daycare related things.

However, her view is that anything related to daycare is my job and she shouldn't have to help me with my job. If I worked out of the house at an office job, she certainly wouldn't be helping me carry paper from the supply room to the copier.

So, I do see her point. However, since she's sitting right there in the house when I pull up with a bunch of stuff to carry in, or when I start moving things around in the daycare room, I just feel that I should be able to get my teenager to help me carry things and move things.

A perfect example a situation that I just had is... I bought some personal furniture, a desk for myself, a dining room table for my household, a new bed for HER, a new bookshelf and a good bit of new toys and educational items for the daycare. I asked my personal daughter to help me rearrange the living room (daycare room) and dining room to accommodate the new items. She flat out refused to help. So I hired one of the boys that grew up with my older daughter and I also hired my younger daughter's (the one that refused to help) best friend to help me with everything. So, my daughter's best friend and the older guy were on the main floor helping me move everything and my personal daughter was up in her room laying on her bed, hanging out in her room and doing nothing. Maybe it's me. But something about my own teenager laying on her bed (by the way, I also had just bought her a brand new bed and brand new sheets and comforter for the bed) while I'm paying her best friend to help me just had me shaking my head the whole time. I literally paid the guy to put her old bed into my truck so I could take it to the dump. She wouldn't even help get rid of her old bed to make room for the new bed I bought her.

I have also paid the girl across the street (she's a little younger than my daughter) a couple of times to carry the things out of my car into my house even though my daughter was home.

Now, no. I didn't offer to pay my own daughter to help me because she gets money from me all the time for doing absolutely nothing. She doesn't do any chores. I could literally drop dead while lugging furniture up the stairs and she'd probably just check my purse for money and go to the movies leaving me laying there dead at the bottom of the stairs. She literally does nothing to help with the household. Well, she does wash her own laundry and clean her own room. But she helps with nothing regarding the household.

So, who's right here? Do you leave your teenager alone or do you get him/her to help you with things related to daycare? And if you get their help, do you pay them for helping you or do you just expect them to help you because they are part of the family that is benefiting from your daycare? Would you feel that it would be reasonable to hire outside help for things that I mentioned above while your own teenager is home so they don't have to help you?

[AmyLeigh]

Oh HECK NO!

My children aren't anywhere near your dd's age, (11, 8 and 6) but they all do work around the house. They have daily chores, weekly chores, responsible for their own rooms and laundry AND often have small daycare jobs. In return, they get an allowance to spend on whatever they want, within reason, of course. Plus they have a neat clean home, a happier mom, and self confidence as a result of the knowledge that they can do all these things. It's a win-win.

Personally, if my child told me that she didn't have to do any daycare work, I would agree. But then because I am doing all the work, she would have to pick up the slack at home. By her age she should be able to take over almost all of the household management. And, if she wants money to go out with friends, movies, McD's, etc., she would have to earn it. Either by working in the daycare or by getting her own job.

[Baby Beluga]

However, her view is that anything related to daycare is my job and she shouldn't have to help me with my job. If I worked out of the house at an office job, she certainly wouldn't be helping me carry paper from the supply room to the copier.

It might be your job, but this job pays for the roof over your daughters head and all of life's other necessities. She should be helping - either with DC stuff or with regular household chores and maintenance. In the example you provided, she should have helped simply because it was the right thing to do, especially since she was not doing anything else at the moment.

[permanentvacation]

Thank you. I knew I had every right to expect her to help.

[spedmommy4]

In my house, everyone helps out. That said, my husband and I established the "everyone works" policy when the kids were little. They started with picking up their own toys and now everyone has a chore rotation.

The business funds lots of things for my kids and all four of them know it. If I didn't run my business there would be no soccer, theater lessons, driver's lessons, extra spending money, etc. Typically, the only job I pay for is standing in as my assistant. My 16 year old gets minimum wage for subbing.

I wouldn't need help if I worked outside the home but, I also never had time to schedule (or attend) all those fun activities when I taught for the school district.

In your shoes, I would be tempted to say, "Only cheerful helpers get fun money." I have two teenagers and they are fairly motivated to help when money isn't available. When the kids go above and beyond, I will add extra money to their allowance or bring home an itunes card to show I noticed. I always say, "I really appreciate that you did x to help me out. "

When I buy something for my own teens, my job ends after the purchase. If they want it in their room, they have to move the item and assemble it.

[permanentvacation]

I was just wondering if I was completely in the wrong for expecting her to help me with daycare related things. But you guys seem to agree with me that I am not in the wrong for thinking she should help me. And you all agree with me.

Thanks for your input.

[Aussiedaycare]

I have four children, 17, 15, 10 and 9. All my children help with housework, yard work and day care work. This Saturday we are all working in the backyard to make a new area for daycare. My children have two choices - help or move out. Daycare pays for a roof over their heads, food in their stomachs and all the extras of life. I would not buy anything for her and tell her she needs to ship up or ship out.

[permanentvacation]

Yes, my sisters and I had to do chores also.

[childcaremom]

My kids help out, too. I guess I don't look at what I ask them to as 'daycare' but household stuff. It just needs to get done and everyone pitches in.

My children don't get allowances, either. These are unpaid chores (the horror) and are expected because they are part of a family.

That's not to say that it gets done with a smile on their faces but it does get done. ::

[Play Care]

My kids (9 and 10) do "work" in the day care and are paid for it. It's a tax deduction

This is different than the chores they are expected to do because they live here and are part of our family. I don't believe in "allowances" to do something they are supposed to do anyway (making beds, cleaning bedrooms, wiping down their bathroom, etc.)

If my kids spoke to me disrespectfully about what their job was, they'd find themselves on pretty thin ground.

[DaveA]

My son (12) helps out a bit with the kids or daycare stuff. Usually odds and ends stuff- putting plates on the table, picking up toys, grabbing blanket or something out of cubby, etc. My daughter (9) just considers the DCKs noisy annoyances in her world and pretty much stays out of the classroom and living room during daycare hours.

Neither kid has "chores" as in a set list of things that needs be done at a certain time, but both are expected to help out around the house. We don't do an allowance, but they both know the more they help out the more likely they are to get a "yes" when they ask for something.

[Unregistered]

Another heck no! They knew to help out, and no they didn't get paid and they both had jobs and bought lots of their own clothes, bought their own gas, fast food, etc.

[Crazy8]

That behavior would not be tolerated here - and I have 2 teens and 1 tween. You help out because you are a part of this family, my job pays for A LOT of their activities so it is a big part of their lives and if I need help with something they darn well better help!! Some people do not agree with allowance but I do give a set "paycheck" to each of my children each week that is for their "jobs" - which include doing well in school, making their beds, putting their laundry away, keeping their room/belongings in decent shape. I don't pay by the job as some recommend because I feel having a "salary" to budget is a big part of growing up smart with money. My kids get their pay each week and that needs to pay for ANYTHING they want to do with friends like starbucks, the mall, the beach, etc. and they need to learn to save when they want to buy something bigger. I stopped the giving $20 to go to the mall and never seeing a dime back a long time ago. Now my teen daughter needs to budget her $10/week and can babysit or do other jobs to earn more.

[Unregistered]

Midaycare here, logged out.

My son, almost 8, has chores around the house he has to do in order to be a part of the family. No choice. He can earn money in the daycare for allowance or toys - if he wants to. The choice is his. For example, I will give $1 to him for night time toy pickup. Now, he can earn $4 each morning he chooses to stay with me in the daycare and help out. Afternoons are lunch and nap, so really no need.

Some days he chooses to help, some days not.

[mim]

My kids (9 and 10) do "work" in the day care and are paid for it. It's a tax deduction

This is different than the chores they are expected to do because they live here and are part of our family. I don't believe in "allowances" to do something they are supposed to do anyway (making beds, cleaning bedrooms, wiping down their bathroom, etc.)

If my kids spoke to me disrespectfully about what their job was, they'd find themselves on pretty thin ground.

This!
I am the same way. I just started paying my kids (8 & 10) up to a certain amount per day for helping in the daycare.
But if it were me, if my kids didn't help out they would not be getting $$ from me.
Start hiring her for daycare related things. Set up an amount per day or job and then if she does it she gets her paycheck at the end of the week. If not then no $$