Conflicted

[Abigail]

Wow, you are getting lots of good advice! I was shocked to see how long this thread was and had to keep reading and reading......

What brought about this job opportunity that you are qualified for from your degree? Have you been searching for jobs outside the home? You probably have been just to see what is out there. You need to remember to think of yourself too. YES, children are only young for so long, but YOU only have one life to live. It's not required to stay home with your children before they begin school. I'm sure you could find a daycare provider you trust.

Some other things you didn't mention. Does this job opportunity have benefits? Did you already factor in the average cost of daycare while figuring out the income difference if you took this potential job? If you did take this potential job and still decided to have another child, you may be covered by work insurance for all the new bills with a newborn and then decide to go back to your daycare business again without a problem.

You should write down reasons why you should consider a different field of work. Maybe a few years down the road the child care field will be more respected too, so if you stay in the daycare field now and try to work outside the home later you just might "wow" a new job opportunity then. You never know. Whatever your decision is though, neither will be wrong. You CAN change your mind because it's YOUR life.

I think writing down on a piece of paper "reasons to keep my daycare open" and on another sheet of paper "reasons to take this opportunity". In the end, always go with your gut. You may just have a dream about it and wake up knowing exactly what to do to!

[momatheart]

I am glad you are staying home.

I was home with my daughter when she was young. She started school and I went to work part time. I am now working full time in a center. She is a teenager and still has told me "Mom, I wish you were still home, this may sound funny but I like coming home and going to school knowing you are home." This bothers me so much. (My husband wants me working 40 hours. This is a different topic all together.)

I am considering doing daycare in my home.

[Daycare_Mama]

@broncomom... I hear a lot of this from people who wish they started daycare sooner with their child. I guess I haven't had the chance to feel that way since I've been home with her from the beginning. I'm sure if she had been in daycare until now and I was just starting up, I would also feel like I wish I had started it sooner! I'm sure it's just the whole "grass is greener" thing that gets me going sometimes. Because it is draining sometimes; it is exhausting. So every so often, I wonder if this is what I really want to do. I'm sure it also has to do with the fact that I wouldn't just pick to start daycare for the heck of it. If I could stay home with my daughter and not have to worry about money, it'd be a no brainer. But it's just a fact that if I want to stay home with my daughter, I HAVE TO do daycare to help support us. It's just as much about the $$$ as it is about loving to work with kids.

@abigail... I actually wasn't looking at all. I got emailed by someone I worked for before who had a position come up and knew that was the specialty I wanted to work in. And even putting this position out of the question, I have wondered the last few months If I really want to do daycare, so this opportunity just made me think more seriously about it.

I've made the lists, I've cost compared (including having to pay for childcare myself), benefits, etc. but it still doesn't give me a for sure feeling either way.

I just know that I won't regret staying home with her. I might regret it if I don't. Then I would lose the daycare family I have (and LOVE!) and be starting out at scratch. I just needed to hear from others that what I'm feeling is normal and valid, so thank you all!!!

Plus if I do decide to work outside the home in 5 years or so, running your own business HAS GOT to count for something even if it's not in the field you're going back into, right??

[laundrymom]

I have to add keep diversity in your clients. Mine was the stable job the past three years while my husband a skilled trade factory worker dealt with layoff and unemployment. He's a Welder fabricator plumber pipefitter. Highly skilled but no matter your skill level, closing factories need no skilled trades. He's been thru 3 factories in 5 years due to closure and cutbacks. My daycare is the stable income. Because I may lose one family from cutbacks but the others stay. That's the best advice I can give. Stay diversified. I have dentist, pediatrician, factory, waitress, bug man, gym manager, farmer, beer man, cell phone guy, teacher, nurse, insurance adjuster, banker, and therapist. I run at licensed capacity though.

[countrymom]

I didnt aim to make you cry,...
I can tell you, I did this before I had kids,.. Ive done it every year since as well. I started 22 years ago. My son is now in college, he brings his friends over and lays on the floor with the daycare kids crawling over him saying, play with me Bubby,.. Play with me bubby,...
my 17 yr old and her boyfriend hang out here all the time, they play games with the kids, her favorite thing is coloring and drawing, his is baking,...
my 12 yr old thinks its cool that Im here when she gets home, she has a live in audience for her trumpet,.. they always tell her she is amazing,... my 9 yr old is the same with her guitar and uke. I have to make them STOP playing with the babies to get their homework done. .

I have no doubt I may have had a more traditional career if I had chosen not to be in ece. I have no doubt I could have made more money. Lived in a cleaner home, had more lenient hours and benefits. But my life pretty much rocks. I pull in a higher than average income for my area. I benefit from tax breaks, time spent with my kids, my dog, (yes that is important to me) , my husband,.. I wouldnt change the last 22 years for anything.,..... it is definately worth it to me. I see myself doing this until I turn 65, which is still a long way off. =-)

omgosh, I could have written the exact same post. I use to be a nurse, I worked when I had my sdd but that lasted 2 months (we have 1 yr mat leave and then I went back for 2 months after my year was up) and have not regretted. It was hard at first, but I've been a sahm mom for almost 13 yrs but have been running my daycare for 6 yrs.
I have to agree with lego mom about the her kids playing with the daycare kids, my own children love playing with them and its true, they always have a built in audience for clarient practises and dances practises. Even on the weekends my kids ask if the kids are coming over. I also find (yours is young where mine are older) that kids and friends would rather hang out at my house because there is always something going on (it also helps that we have an acre)
I also see myself working till I'm 65, I too make way more money than average and I don't have to leave my house.

[countrymom]

ok, you have to understand something too, if you open a daycare, you can't in a year say that you want to do something else, you have families who depend on you, you also have to remember that you're not going to get families right away, or you may get some crazy parents are you going to be able to handle all that. I see it all the time on this forum and others, everyone wants to open a daycare thinking that they will make tons of money right away, but it doesn't work that way. Then you see posts about how to tell families that your closing after a year.
also, did you factor in other things when you go to work, like gas, clothing, food (will you be home to make meals or will it be more take out) how about cleaning your house, laundry, grocery shopping--when would you do all this stuff. are you going to depend on your mom a bit more.
but I would go with your gut feeling, by the sounds of it, I think you need to stay home, listen I spent money for my nursing degree, I worked for a while in my field, had kids and totally am now doing something else, do I regret it, no.

[Daycare_Mama]

ok, you have to understand something too, if you open a daycare, you can't in a year say that you want to do something else, you have families who depend on you, you also have to remember that you're not going to get families right away, or you may get some crazy parents are you going to be able to handle all that. I see it all the time on this forum and others, everyone wants to open a daycare thinking that they will make tons of money right away, but it doesn't work that way. Then you see posts about how to tell families that your closing after a year.
also, did you factor in other things when you go to work, like gas, clothing, food (will you be home to make meals or will it be more take out) how about cleaning your house, laundry, grocery shopping--when would you do all this stuff. are you going to depend on your mom a bit more.
but I would go with your gut feeling, by the sounds of it, I think you need to stay home, listen I spent money for my nursing degree, I worked for a while in my field, had kids and totally am now doing something else, do I regret it, no.

I do think everyone should think seriously about starting daycare before they do it and know that there's a lot more to it than just taking care of kids, but with that said, I disagree that if you start a daycare that you "can't in a year say you want to do something else".

No one starting daycare makes parents sign contracts that they will keep them as their provider for 3 years (or whatever the number) under ALL circumstances, so a provider doesn't have an obligation to keep doing daycare if they really decide they want to do something different.

It would be disadvantageous for a person to spend all the money and time it takes to get licensed and then turn around and quit doing daycare. So I think most people that start daycare have plans to stick with it for a while.
But I wouldn't fault anyone who spent their hard earned money and time to start a daycare and found out it wasn't for them.

This is why I've taken a while to actually get licensed and consider all my options. I wanted to make sure it's what I want to do. I know it shouldn't be about what I spent on an expensive college degree, but I would be lying to say it's not. I currently have $800 in monthly student loan payments of which $650 is paying only interest. In 10 months, my payments go up to $1200.

I don't want to start a daycare to only do it for a year. Every job I've had, I've had for years. I want to do it for at least 5 more years. And I could end up LOVING it and doing it the rest of my working life. Now this wouldn't be a bad thing AT ALL, but it will always bug me how much I spent on a degree if I never work in a job where I needed it. So that's where my conflict lies. In the end, I know spending my days with my daughter is more important than using my degree. I just can't help but think of all the things I could have done FOR our family with the money I will now be paying off in student loans.

[mncare]

I never wanted to put my child in daycare, but if you are comfortable with it and can find someone that you can trust I say go for it.

I treat my kids wonderfully and love them all, but I would never choose this career again if I had the chance. So coming from where you are, I would say take the other job.

Good luck, it is a tough decision!

[momofboys]

ok, you have to understand something too, if you open a daycare, you can't in a year say that you want to do something else, you have families who depend on you, you also have to remember that you're not going to get families right away, or you may get some crazy parents are you going to be able to handle all that. I see it all the time on this forum and others, everyone wants to open a daycare thinking that they will make tons of money right away, but it doesn't work that way. Then you see posts about how to tell families that your closing after a year.
also, did you factor in other things when you go to work, like gas, clothing, food (will you be home to make meals or will it be more take out) how about cleaning your house, laundry, grocery shopping--when would you do all this stuff. are you going to depend on your mom a bit more.
but I would go with your gut feeling, by the sounds of it, I think you need to stay home, listen I spent money for my nursing degree, I worked for a while in my field, had kids and totally am now doing something else, do I regret it, no.

I think it's ridiculous to say you have to stick with something simply b/c you have parents depending on you. If you have a daycare that's great but it doesn't mean the parents would be unable to find another provider simply b/c you choose to make a change. I would never stick with something if I found something better or something I wanted to do instead. None of my contracts say I will provide care forever!