Conflicted

[jen]

Only you can decide which is more important....

That college degree/dipolma ( a piece of paper), or Your daughter and what and from whom she will be learning from the next few years........

Seriously? She isn't choosing between her daughter and piece of paper! The point of this is to be supportive, not make her feel like a bad mother if she works outside the home!!! Good grief!

[AnythingsPossible]

Something else to consider. What is the daycare climate in your area? Do providers have numerous openings or are parents fighting for available spots? While you could potentially make more if you filled a couple of spots, how hard will it be to fill those spots, with clients you enjoy working for?
I have been toying with the idea of closing my daycare for sometime now, so I constantly have these thoughts in my head! It is certainly not an easy decision to make. And I certainly don't think you should feel any guilt over considering working outside the home.

[Daycare_Mama]

Something else to consider. What is the daycare climate in your area? Do providers have numerous openings or are parents fighting for available spots? While you could potentially make more if you filled a couple of spots, how hard will it be to fill those spots, with clients you enjoy working for?
I have been toying with the idea of closing my daycare for sometime now, so I constantly have these thoughts in my head! It is certainly not an easy decision to make. And I certainly don't think you should feel any guilt over considering working outside the home.

I'm a first ring suburb and in a pretty sought after city. There's only a handful of other licensed daycares in my city compared with 15-20 in surrounding cities. I'm also priced $25 below the average per week for the city I live in. So I'm pretty confident I could get at least 3 more kids, which is what I would need for daycare to make sense for my family, financially. In fact, I already have 1 family who is waiting for me to get licensed and will bring their son to me. They like their current daycare, but I'm in a more convenient location.

I know providers who are looking to fill up are hurting in my area, but I'm not looking to be at max (10 kids).. I want to stay at 5 preferably (6 max).

[SandeeAR]

A job, is a job, is a job. There will ALWAYS be another job.

Your Child is your child ALWAYS, but they are only under school age for 5 years. You CAN'T get those 5 years back with your child, but you can always get another job.

[Live and Learn]

2. Putting my own kids in daycare does not sit well with me.

What is up with that? Why is it so hard for someone who does daycare to put their own kids in daycare?

Just because we see how much parents miss? I don't know, but the thought of it is unbearable to me!

I was in daycare as a kid.....that is the reason I don't want my kids in daycare. The daycare family was really nice but.... The daycare provider's kids always got preferential treatment and I functioned but always missed my mom. I wanted better for my own kids. I told my hubby before we got married that I would be a stay at home mom.

Now that I provide childcare myself I see so many firsts that the parents miss. I love, love, love my dckiddies but not with the depth I LOVE my own kids.
Everyone needs to decide what is best for them. Some parents plain and simple can afford to stay home and don't want to....whatever....not my choice.

[Gurdy]

I'm a first ring suburb and in a pretty sought after city. There's only a handful of other licensed daycares in my city compared with 15-20 in surrounding cities. I'm also priced $25 below the average per week for the city I live in. So I'm pretty confident I could get at least 3 more kids, which is what I would need for daycare to make sense for my family, financially. In fact, I already have 1 family who is waiting for me to get licensed and will bring their son to me. They like their current daycare, but I'm in a more convenient location.

I know providers who are looking to fill up are hurting in my area, but I'm not looking to be at max (10 kids).. I want to stay at 5 preferably (6 max).

My best advice if you go with doing daycare: do not be the cheapest in your area. In fact I try to be the most expensive in my area. You don't want to feel like you are not getting payed what you are worth especially over the long haul.

Something else to think about is if you are planning on having any more children. The job outside the home may pay enough to put your dd in daycare but will it pay enough of you have more kids? Also once she is in school there are summers and school breaks(Christmas and spring break) to think about as well as after school care.

[Daycare_Mama]

My best advice if you go with doing daycare: do not be the cheapest in your area. In fact I try to be the most expensive in my area. You don't want to feel like you are not getting payed what you are worth especially over the long haul.

Something else to think about is if you are planning on having any more children. The job outside the home may pay enough to put your dd in daycare but will it pay enough of you have more kids? Also once she is in school there are summers and school breaks(Christmas and spring break) to think about as well as after school care.

Yes, I don't plan on staying the cheapest once I'm licensed. I'm just saying right now what I charge for the toddler I watch is $25 less than licensed daycares in my city. I would be adjusting my rates to be more in line with what everyone else is charging around me.

And very good point. We are undecided as to whether we want more kids. I have my daughter and my 2 "step-sons"...we aren't married yet. I would like another, but had a very bad/scary pregnancy and my daughter was born 3 months early, so not sure I want to risk anything again. But that's a whole other story.

You are right, if we have another one, I would almost have to do daycare because 2 in daycare would be breaking even unless I got a huge raise by then, which is unlikely

[DanceMom]

A job, is a job, is a job. There will ALWAYS be another job.

Your Child is your child ALWAYS, but they are only under school age for 5 years. You CAN'T get those 5 years back with your child, but you can always get another job.

EXACTLY what I was going to say....a job will come around - there are jobs out there...you dont HAVE to do daycare forever. You will never get that time back with your daughter. I worked outside of the home for the first two years of my daughters life and do not remember her as a baby because she was in daycare 10 hours a day. When I had my son, I was done, I KNEW I did NOT have kids to send them to daycare all day and barely get to spend time with them. I left a 6 figure paying job to be with them and have ZERO regrets - I do however regret not leaving my old job when my daughter was born instead of waiting 2 yrs.

[AmandasFCC]

While it's true that the first 5 years are the most formative, and every mother out there probably wants to stay at home with their kids, in this economy daycare isn't always as great as it seems! Especially starting out.

It took me almost a year to get full, and with daycare things can change so quickly. You are depending on EVERYONE ELSE's job security, and in a lot of areas, nobody is safe anymore right now.

Financially, daycare isn't always so great.

I was searching for work outside the home for a while there. I was in a serious daycare slump and got REALLY excited about the prospect of going to work every day.

Yes, I absolutely treasure being able to kiss my daughter goodnight at naptime, cuddle her when she's sick or tired or just feeling cuddly (doesn't happen much these days - she's an incredibly independent 2 year old!). But there have been LONG stretches where the money I bring in with daycare simply isn't enough, and like you, I have spent lots of money on a shiny university degree hanging on my wall which is not really being used per se.

I think, while it's nice to think of the mushy lovey things with daycare and our kids, we also do have to look at the numbers and do what's going to be best financially for us too. Think about what happens if it takes you a while to fill up to your idea number. Think of what happens if one of your families unexpectedly gets laid off. On the flip side, what happens if YOU get laid off from this job you take?

[Cat Herder]

For me it is simple. At my funeral NOBODY is going to care what I did for a living or what degrees I bought. The only people who matter will, hopefully, be the ones seated in the front pew.

[Daycare_Mama]

EXACTLY what I was going to say....a job will come around - there are jobs out there...you dont HAVE to do daycare forever. You will never get that time back with your daughter. I worked outside of the home for the first two years of my daughters life and do not remember her as a baby because she was in daycare 10 hours a day. When I had my son, I was done, I KNEW I did NOT have kids to send them to daycare all day and barely get to spend time with them. I left a 6 figure paying job to be with them and have ZERO regrets - I do however regret not leaving my old job when my daughter was born instead of waiting 2 yrs.

Thank you, I needed to hear this.

While it's true that the first 5 years are the most formative, and every mother out there probably wants to stay at home with their kids, in this economy daycare isn't always as great as it seems! Especially starting out.

It took me almost a year to get full, and with daycare things can change so quickly. You are depending on EVERYONE ELSE's job security, and in a lot of areas, nobody is safe anymore right now.

Financially, daycare isn't always so great.

I was searching for work outside the home for a while there. I was in a serious daycare slump and got REALLY excited about the prospect of going to work every day.

Yes, I absolutely treasure being able to kiss my daughter goodnight at naptime, cuddle her when she's sick or tired or just feeling cuddly (doesn't happen much these days - she's an incredibly independent 2 year old!). But there have been LONG stretches where the money I bring in with daycare simply isn't enough, and like you, I have spent lots of money on a shiny university degree hanging on my wall which is not really being used per se.

I think, while it's nice to think of the mushy lovey things with daycare and our kids, we also do have to look at the numbers and do what's going to be best financially for us too. Think about what happens if it takes you a while to fill up to your idea number. Think of what happens if one of your families unexpectedly gets laid off. On the flip side, what happens if YOU get laid off from this job you take?

Good point. I think I'm leaning towards continuing with daycare. We are financially okay right now even with just the one daycare child, so if it takes me a while to get to an ideal number, that is fine.

I think I need to look at it like this: I know I'll never regret staying home with my daughter. But it's possible that I would regret NOT staying home with her. Since we are ok financially right now and I don't NEED to take this job, I think I'm going to stick with my gut and keep staying home with my baby! Thank you ladies; it really does help to have insight from people doing the same thing as you.

For me it is simple. At my funeral NOBODY is going to care what I did for a living or what degrees I bought. The only people who matter will, hopefully, be the ones seated in the front pew.

Love this. Well said!

[AnythingsPossible]

I didnt aim to make you cry,...
I can tell you, I did this before I had kids,.. Ive done it every year since as well. I started 22 years ago. My son is now in college, he brings his friends over and lays on the floor with the daycare kids crawling over him saying, play with me Bubby,.. Play with me bubby,...
my 17 yr old and her boyfriend hang out here all the time, they play games with the kids, her favorite thing is coloring and drawing, his is baking,...
my 12 yr old thinks its cool that Im here when she gets home, she has a live in audience for her trumpet,.. they always tell her she is amazing,... my 9 yr old is the same with her guitar and uke. I have to make them STOP playing with the babies to get their homework done. .

I have no doubt I may have had a more traditional career if I had chosen not to be in ece. I have no doubt I could have made more money. Lived in a cleaner home, had more lenient hours and benefits. But my life pretty much rocks. I pull in a higher than average income for my area. I benefit from tax breaks, time spent with my kids, my dog, (yes that is important to me) , my husband,.. I wouldnt change the last 22 years for anything.,..... it is definately worth it to me. I see myself doing this until I turn 65, which is still a long way off. =-)

I love your attitude towards this job! While I don't currently share your enthusiasm, I'm hoping to lean towards your perspective rather then my current one!!!

[lvt77]

easy dont do it for the money......taking care of kids comes from the heart and it is out of love that you would do this business......
dont look at it from a finincal standpoint.....
think about whats best for your daughter
you raising them or you paying someone else to do it so you can make a few bucks......

[Luna]

I think I'm going to stick with my gut and keep staying home with my baby!

One thing I know for sure: ALWAYS go with your gut!!!

[broncomom1973]

First let me say that after the birth of my 1st dd, it KILLED me to leave her and go back to work. I am a nurse and worked for an oral surgeon in his clinic. I worked a 4 day work week (although long hours) and got awesome benefits and bonuses, but that did not make me feel better being away from her. We had a college student that was our "nanny", so at least IF I got a lunch break I could rush home and see dd for a few minutes. I just really felt like I was missing out on so much though and finally when dd was 2 years old, I took a pay cut and went to work at a family practice 3 days/week so I could be home with her more often. I got pg with dd #2 one month after I started my new job and I just went through the motions until I had her. Again, after my maternity leave was up, it was torture to return to work. At this point we had started taking my girls to an in home daycare. I loved the provider but hated not being with them. I became unexpectedly pg again and had my son 14 months after my 2nd daughter was born and at that point we honestly couldnt afford part-time daycare for 3 children with what I was making. So, I quit and started a daycare. I honestly wish I would have done this after my 1st was born. I really did miss out on sooooo much. And, I can tell you these years fly by. It seems like yesterday that she was born and I sent her off to kindergarten this year. I feel fortunate to know that I still have almost 3 years left with my younger daughter and my son just turned 2 in November, so I've got awhile before he goes to school. I sometimes "struggle" with daycare as it can be really draining at times, but there is nothing better than going into my younger daughter's room in the morning and seeing her big smile. It lights up my life I look at it like life is too short to not spend as much time as possible with those that you love. When my kids are all in school, I will reevaluate my situation and decide whether I want to continue in childcare or go back to the healthcare field or even another field. Good luck, it is a hard decision to make and I feel bad that you are having to make the decision.