Time Outs

[caregiver]

Does anyone else use time outs and for how long do you put them in time outs?
I'm having an ongoing thread on the parents site about time outs. Providers can use this site also to write things. I do believe in time outs when nothing else works and I am finding out that many providers do not use time outs and think they are cruel. I believe that children need to know that when they misbehave that just sometimes talking to them as maybe they took a toy away from another child, that just saying to them that is not a nice thing to do or this redirecting stuff, like saying why don't you pick another toy instead. sometimes doesn't work and that is when time outs are used if that doesn't work. I think kids need to know that if they misbehave, there are consequences for their actions. Like sitting on the time out chair for 10 minutes.
That is not cruel and maybe means something to them like maybe they should not do what they did again if they don't want to sit in time out. I'm talking about children 1 and 1/2, not younger. I think they need to know boundaries and what they can get by with and what they can't and need to know what they did was wrong to learn.
Kids need discipline and time outs are not abusive or cruel. My daycare parents themselves do time outs and if they do it, then I need to follow through also. Also ten minutes is not too long and the kids do know why I put them in time outs so they understand why they are put there.
What are your opinions.

[Live and Learn]

I have no use for time outs.
I keep a very low adult to kiddo ratio, 1 to 3 or 1 to 4. I nip things in the bud. It has literally been years since any child hit here. That was a little brother hitting his older bossy sis. ONCE! I have never had a biter or a kicker. I keep a very mellow household. When I notice a kiddie starting to get a little worked up over something I start them on a solitary project so that they can get themselves together. This system works well for me.
I should say that my dc kiddies are only here 8 hours max. I think my dc kiddies are lucky to not be warehoused in daycare for 10 or more hours a day like some poor kids. I believe this makes them confident and better behaved then many.
In conclusion, no time outs here.

[JeepGirl6]

When giving a child a time out, I have learned that the minutes they are in time out should be the same as the age of the child. For example, if a 3 year old needs to be put in time out, they should be in time out for 3 minutes.

[Live and Learn]

I should add that I don't believe that time outs are cruel! I just have found that my dc kiddies receive so few redirections from me that they REALLY listen when I do! .....ps I redirect in my "mean mommy voice". That always gets attention!::

[Cat Herder]

I am a pre-planner. I plan our day based on what phase/personality type each of my gremlins are in. If it is a throwing kind of week we have Nerf and cardboard.... If I have a biter the room will have lots of temporary dividers.. If I have a book worm I will have lots of quiet activities and free reading times, etc, etc..... When pre-planning and redirection do not work I move to time outs.

I use "time out" about once a day. Usually late afternoon since the majority of my kids are here 10 hours a day and get a little moody (don't blame them, just the facts). Time out is 1 minute sitting alone per year of age in a "cool-down" chair in the same room with everyone else. It is horribly ineffective but all I am allowed to do legally anymore.

Mostly I use it to give myself a couple minutes to rearrange the room or get out a new activity since we obviously must be "finished" with whatever we were doing....

I also have a screaming corner for temper tantrums (older kids controlling screaming, not crying...totally different animals)..When they start I just point to it, they walk themselves over and simply rejoin the group when they are done. I give zero attention to "screamers".

[Luna]

I do use time outs, but I don't really think of it as a punishment. In my mind, it's more of a cool-your-jets period, think about what you were doing, take a deep breath...that sort of thing. I believe the kids see it the same way, because they sometimes put themselves on a time out. It never lasts more than a minute.

[kidkair]

I do timeouts. One minute per age of kid no longer than 10 minutes. I have had a 1 year old in time out for 10 minutes because of bitting and calming the other child down. I place the kid in a corner in a different room than the action occured if possible but within sight or hearing of me. I don't use them often. Sometimes I do a wide spread time out where everyone sits right where they are including me and I calm down while counting to 30. Then I tell them all what was going on and what I didn't like about it. Then we all get up and continue our day.

[caregiver]

So far, it is nice to know that I am not the only one to use time outs. I don't think that just putting them in time out for as many minutes as they are old though, is going to do any good. You have to have them sit for at least ten minutes so they can think about what they did and why they are in time out. If you only put them in for a few minutes, it isn't really making them accountable for their actions. They will know that if they do something wrong, well,they will say I can do this, I will only be in time out for a few minutes, no big deal. BUT, if you make them sit for awhile, they will soon learn that they don't want to sit in time outs because kids don't like to sit still and it will hopefully help them to not misbehave again. A few minutes is not really curing the problem,you have to make them understand that what they did was wrong, otherwise they will keep misbehaving. I don't use time outs because I get fustrated when they do something naughty,it is not for me, it is to make the child understand that they can't do what ever they did and that they will have to sit out for awhile. The children need to learn at a young age that if they do something they should not be doing, they will have to have consequences. This redirection thing isn't solving the misbehaving problem, just gettiing them to do something else, but they NEED to know what they did wrong is not acceptable. Saying"why don't you go get another toy to play with" if they took a toy away from another child, is not making them understand that it is not ok to take toys away from another, just telling them to go get something else.. Now is that fair? They should be made aware that was not a good thing to do so they won't do it again. They won't understand that what they did was wrong if you just get them to do something else. Kids need disipline, they will try to see how far they can get away with something and if there is no consequences then they will keep doing it knowing they can get away with it and no one will do anything about what they are doing. How are they going to learn right from wrong if we don't make them understand it by making them know that they will not get away with whatever they are doing with no actions. Time outs are a way for the child to sit and thnk about what they did and a few minutes is not long enough. I do not use any other kind of punisment, don't believe in spanking or the spoon or any other physcial punishment, but do think time outs are a way of making them understand what they did was not ok. Our job as providers is to teach the children many things and one of them is how to be a good person by showing them the right way and the wrong way of things, but if there is no disipline, then how do they learn how to be a good person and how to treat others as they want to be treated.

[ninosqueridos]

I also do one minute per year of age........after 3 minutes, a 3 year old isn't "thinking about what they did"...........mine just start singing, laughing, talking to themselves...........I really don't see the point in letting them sit longer. They are not upset after 3 minutes. The first minute or two, they are upset and get to feel the consequences of their actions. The third minute tends to be an extra cool down quietly minute, and they're ready to be let out of time out a la supernanny.

[caregiver]

I do have a 3 yr old and she gets put in time outs a few times and she does know what it means and what she did wrong. She will say to me that she won't do what she did wrong again, like taking the toy from the other child. When she is done with time out I will ask her if she remember's why she was put in time out and she does know. Just 3 minutes is not long enough, it just makes the kids think that it is only a few minutes, no big deal and I can misbehave again and if I get time out again, it isn't that long. No big deal. Kids are smarter then we give them credit for. They want to see how far we will let them get away with things and if we don't show them that they can't do something and get in a time out and have to sit there for 10 minutes, maybe they won't want to do it again to have to sit for awhile in time out. Kids hate to sit still. They HAVE to know that there is consequences they have to have for doing something they know they are not supposed to do. How else are they going to learn things so that as they get older they become good people and have good behavior which turns into having good manners and morals. If they know that they can do anything & no on will call them on it if it is not right, then they become the problem children of this world and the ones that seem to get into trouble with the law becasue they think they can do anything they want and not suffer the consequences unless they get caught. I know I am running into another topic, but I do think we as providers have to show the kids what is right and wrong and that they just can't go around doing things they should not be doing,by making them know that they have consquences for what they do wrong. Am I making any sense? There are just too many undisiplined children these days and that is why we need to teach them at daycare along with the parents. I only take 2-3 kids so that I do have the time to give the kids the care, love and disiplining that they need nto become good people.

[ninosqueridos]

I didn't mean that the three year old wouldn't know what they did wrong.........I just don't see the point in prolonging it. My three year olds know exactly what they did wrong.

If a child goes to time out on a bad day, let's say 2 or 3 times in one hour for 3 different things, then they'd be sitting there for 1/2 hour?? Wow.

[caregiver]

Well, if they need to go in time out that many times in a hour for only a few minutes a time, well doesn't that say something......that the few minutes each time is not long enough or doing any good to make them understand that misbehaving is not acceptable. Like I said before they know that it is only a few minutes in time out and they get out, so no big deal, so they misbehave again and know it is only for a few minutes. BUT if they have to sit there longer, they might not want to misbehave again for fear of sitting in time out again for a long time. You have to think like a kid, what they are thinking about the time out..no big deal or I hate time outs so I won't misbehave again. Wow, so they have to sit on the time out chair for a half an hour, not a abusive measure! Just sitting on a chair!!!! They just don't get to play for awhile, that's all. Not a mean thing to do.

Let me ask you this, when you put your daycare child in a 2 0r 3 minute time out, does that usually stop the bad behavior for good or do they try and do it again and only get a few minutes again, are they learning from what they are doing wrong?

[ninosqueridos]

I think kids have good days and bad days. I don't focus on time out. I focus on what they are doing right, and give them endless praise on the positive behaviors. Time outs are just blips on the radar. If a child misbehaves, I give them a warning. If they continue, they sit for time out. If a child needs to sit in time out a few times a day, it is generally for different things. And they sit. And it's over. Move on with the day. If every kid had to sit for 10 min or more, it would be a nuisance, and would inevitably run into meals, snacks, potty times........and I do not associate meals and potty with punishment... so I definitely do not want to convey that message.

[Live and Learn]

For those providers who use timeouts I have three questions....
1)What is your adult to child ratio?
2)How many hours a day are your dc kiddies in you care?
3)How often do you timeouts?

[ninosqueridos]

For those providers who use timeouts I have three questions....
1)What is your adult to child ratio?
2)How many hours a day are your dc kiddies in you care?
3)How often do you timeouts?

I work alone with 6 for the most part.
Range from 9-10 hours per day.
Whenever necessary - it's not my first choice. We could go a week with no time outs to days with 3-4 time outs between all the kids combined. I have to say it's mostly 2 kids that are the repeat offenders. I do get the kids involved with something else quietly if possible - just doesn't always work for kids that are not "mellow" nor from mellow families.