I have a 3.5 yo boy who had a poop "accident" last week. I handed him his clothes and told him to get dressed after cleaning him up. He said no. So, he sat in that corner until he got dressed (he ate lunch in that corner, too!). I told him that he needed to be dressed to play with us and that as soon as he chose to put his clothes on, he could come play. He spent about 45 minutes sitting there until he decided to put his clothes on and join us again.
PJs at dc. letter to offending parents
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:confused: Seriously?
The provider isn't dictating to the parents what the child can and can't wear, she is saying she won't take over a PARENTAL responsibility .
As a parent, I'd be EMBARRASSED getting a note like this...as I rightfully should feel if I couldn't manage my child.
OP~ I think your letter sounds great and that it is absolutely necessary. All too many parents get a free pass when it comes to regular daily activities that are required as a parent. If I decided to let my child live in PJ's, that's my prerogative but never in a million years would I expect my provider to have to dress my child after dropping off.
Maybe it's just me but I don't offer those types of services to daycare families. It is NOT part of the array or things I offer.- Flag
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Op here. So i am trying to make him dress himself and he is soooooo lazy, he refuses and is just laying there. I'm not doing it. I know he can, but because his parents do so much (even handing him something that is RIGHT beside him - true story), he is weaker at these skills than he should be. It's ridiculous. Even the other three yo tries to do it for him, not that I am allowing it.
Why don't parents understand tgat tgey are not helping their kids in the long run? I would love to be a fly on the wall in a few years. Lol- Flag
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I have a 3.5 yo boy who had a poop "accident" lwatching a movie week. I handed him his clothes and told him to get dressed after cleaning him up. He said no. So, he sat in that corner until he got dressed (he ate lunch in that corner, too!). I told him that he needed to be dressed to play with us and that as soon as he chose to put his clothes on, he could come play. He spent about 45 minutes sitting there until he decided to put his clothes on and join us again.- Flag
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I think it comes down to this - I wouldn't send a note like that. I'd talk to the parent at pick up time. I'd say something like, "Hey, can you not send X in footie jammies, he can't wear shoes for outside time." It's a pretty easy conversation to have and I don't think it requires a formal note. That's why i'd be miffed, for cripes sake, just say something, it's not that big of a deal. I think sometimes we get too caught up in the "I'm not going to do "whatever it is" because it's not how I would do it". The OP states that this is due to the child's tantrums at home, but who knows, maybe the kid just likes his PJ's? It doesn't really matter either, but a simple conversation can sometimes be more effective and less offensive than a letter.
I was commenting on your comment about being miffed as a parent to get the letter.
You mentioned taking the path of least resistance but didn't mention your preference to a face to face convo verses a letter.
That makes more sense.- Flag
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I think so much is lost in text form, and when we deal with parents, whose little people we are providing so much for, that there is definitely a hard line we need to keep as a business owner, but that gets a little blurry when we deal with things like this.- Flag
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I've been this parent, the one with the kiddo who is dropping my kid off in PJ's, and i didn't have any desire for the DCP to change her, just put regular clothes in her bag in case of an accident. If she had sent me something like this, i'd be like, why didn't you just say something?
I think so much is lost in text form, and when we deal with parents, whose little people we are providing so much for, that there is definitely a hard line we need to keep as a business owner, but that gets a little blurry when we deal with things like this.: Bottom line,providers do the best they can as the situation arises.
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Not on the pj topic, but the letter/face to face thing.
I prefer to send letters/notes/newsletters/etc. for 2 reasons:
1. It's in writing and nobody can claim I didn't tell them.
2. I have major social anxiety with adults and having face to face conversations is really hard for me. I'd rather send a letter than have a panic attack for the rest of the evening.
On a side note, the OP said she didn't mind pj's just not footie pj's.- Flag
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You also have to consider the time it takes to have this conversation. You can do it face to face, but at the times when you are face to face, it's likely that other parents are coming and going. And you wouldn't want to embarrass mom in front of other parents. That's why, sometimes, a letter/email is better. IMHO.- Flag
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I've been this parent, the one with the kiddo who is dropping my kid off in PJ's, and i didn't have any desire for the DCP to change her, just put regular clothes in her bag in case of an accident. If she had sent me something like this, i'd be like, why didn't you just say something?
I think so much is lost in text form, and when we deal with parents, whose little people we are providing so much for, that there is definitely a hard line we need to keep as a business owner, but that gets a little blurry when we deal with things like this.
On the plus side, dcb finally decided to get dressed after I took away his audience and he is so proud of himself by doing it independently.- Flag
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I chose to do it via email because pick-up/drop off times are often crazy. I also want a record of it. Dcd dropped him off almost every day last week and tells me his change of clothes are in his bag and leaves. Then at pick-up he makes a comment about how dcb is still in pajamas (we are usually playing outside at pick-up). I have been saying "yes he is" and leaving it, but his tone this am about the clothes in his bag, was more "I expect you to change him today" and the feetie pajamas felt like a powerplay move. Like I said, I don't care if he wears pajamas day in or day out, but don't expect me to do a parents job. Like someone else mentioned, if he was a baby getting up five minutes before leaving ok. If he was dropped off at 5 okay, but this kid gets here at 730.
On the plus side, dcb finally decided to get dressed after I took away his audience and he is so proud of himself by doing it independently.spot on with the paper trail!
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What gets me is would they dare send him to school like this? The whole principle of this matter seems to be letting the 3 yo get his way all the time. Yes, some battles are too small to be fought but where do you draw the line?- Flag
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One of them consistently dresses in pajama pants FOR work.
I'd probably be a little less surprised if she was in her 20ies but she is 37 so.....- Flag
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I know and it is only getting worse. you can't tell who is a teacher or student when you enter the school anymore:
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