Would You Discuss This With Parents?

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  • Thriftylady
    Daycare.com Member
    • Aug 2014
    • 5884

    Would You Discuss This With Parents?

    I have 2 siblings right now who are SA 8yr and 9yr. They started here in Feb. The whole time they have been here, we have been working one sitting in chairs properly. They are always in their knees on them, cross legged in them, one leg in the other leg standing, tipping them backward etc. The first week here this caused an expensive high chair to get broken. In the last week or so I put in a new rule, one warning about the chairs and then you don't get one the rest of the day. I did this to dcb one day and he said "well it isn't good for me to eat standing up". I told him it isn't good for my chairs for you to sit down. So today we are working on DCG's homework and she is in one of the child sized folding chairs and tipping back in it. We start to talk it over and she smiles, then tells me you have only ever told me not to do that once. WHILE we are discussing it she tips the chair again so I take it away and tell her she can try again tomorrow. She is 8, so she clearly understands. Would you discuss this with the parents? I can't afford the abuse these kids give furniture.
  • Josiegirl
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jun 2013
    • 10834

    #2
    I think I'd ask the dcps if they have this problem at home and how they deal with it. Sounds like either the dcps let it slide at home or these kids are testing you. Maybe you should take all the chairs away except for yours and let them sit on the floor then they need to earn them.

    I don't know why but it seems like the older kids are hardest on stuff. I have a 6 yo that uses our doll stroller like her own personal scooter. She's always tipping the chairs up onto the back legs. She and her sister both use my couch as a trampoline. It's maddening and frustrating and I feel like a meanie cause I'm constantly having to be on them about it.

    Comment

    • Second Home
      Daycare.com Member
      • Jan 2014
      • 1567

      #3
      I do say something to parents when the kids test me like this. I want them to know ahead of time that the child is not respecting my property or following the rules . Especially when they are old enough to know better and are doing it just to see how far they can push you .

      And I do take away the privilege of chairs , couch , etc...

      Comment

      • Gemma
        Childcare Provider
        • Mar 2015
        • 1277

        #4
        Originally posted by Thriftylady
        I have 2 siblings right now who are SA 8yr and 9yr. They started here in Feb. The whole time they have been here, we have been working one sitting in chairs properly. They are always in their knees on them, cross legged in them, one leg in the other leg standing, tipping them backward etc. The first week here this caused an expensive high chair to get broken. In the last week or so I put in a new rule, one warning about the chairs and then you don't get one the rest of the day. I did this to dcb one day and he said "well it isn't good for me to eat standing up". I told him it isn't good for my chairs for you to sit down. So today we are working on DCG's homework and she is in one of the child sized folding chairs and tipping back in it. We start to talk it over and she smiles, then tells me you have only ever told me not to do that once. WHILE we are discussing it she tips the chair again so I take it away and tell her she can try again tomorrow. She is 8, so she clearly understands. Would you discuss this with the parents? I can't afford the abuse these kids give furniture.
        I would continue to take the chair away if they do not sit properly after being reminded, but I'd be willing to repeat the reminder, if they correct their posture when told, and show an effort in following my rule, that is probably the way they are allowed to sit at school/home and it's hard to break the habit.

        Comment

        • Gemma
          Childcare Provider
          • Mar 2015
          • 1277

          #5
          oops I totally missed the question::
          No, in this case I would not discuss with parents...I would however warn the children about consequences for disrespect, and if they continue to act in that way I would then discuss with parents and even consider Terminating!
          ...I work too hard for not enough money, under constant changing rules and regulations, I think I have more than enough stress as is and I will not put up with any form of disrespect from anyone!

          Comment

          • Thriftylady
            Daycare.com Member
            • Aug 2014
            • 5884

            #6
            I did talk to mom at pickup. She said "yeah they do that all the time at home, I can't get them to sit down right". I wanted to ask "what do you mean you can't get them to?".

            Comment

            • mommiebookworm
              Daycare.com Member
              • Mar 2015
              • 347

              #7
              I have a dcb4 who will not stop jumping on the couch. I finally told mom one day, how embarrassed I was that he was using the couch as a trampoline when two ladies from church stopped by. I said to him in front of mom that he cannot jump on the couch. He still tries, and I have to remind him at least twice a week. It's irritating! He has told me that he jumps on the couch and the bed at home.

              Comment

              • daycare
                Advanced Daycare.com *********
                • Feb 2011
                • 16259

                #8
                ok I think I discovered my biggest pet peeve.

                It is when parents say.......I can't get my child to

                fill in the blank
                sit in their car seat
                eat their food sitting at the table


                that would have made me mad too.

                I would have told dcm well when they can't respect our furniture here, the natural consequence is that it is taken away. maybe if you jumped on board with implementing natural consequences, together we could rid of this unwanted behavior. I'll ask them tomorrow if they got to keep their chairs at home last night. ugh

                Comment

                • Controlled Chaos
                  Daycare.com Member
                  • Jun 2014
                  • 2108

                  #9
                  Furniture is for old people not children - that's what I tell my crew I have kid chairs they can use at the kid table and I have and I have taken away chairs for not using them properly. I don't think it is parent chat worthy behavior

                  Comment

                  • daycare
                    Advanced Daycare.com *********
                    • Feb 2011
                    • 16259

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Controlled Chaos
                    Furniture is for old people not children - that's what I tell my crew I have kid chairs they can use at the kid table and I have and I have taken away chairs for not using them properly. I don't think it is parent chat worthy behavior
                    I think if they are breaking them it is......

                    Comment

                    • missbecky
                      Miss Becky
                      • Apr 2015
                      • 18

                      #11
                      I work in a group center with toddlers. Let me tell you, if they don't sit properly in their chair I take it away after giving them 1 warning. If they stand up again during a meal, their food goes along with the chair. During art or other table activities, they lose their chair, but can continue the activity. It's amazing how fast they learn.

                      I would discuss it with mom and dad at the end of the week. Something like "We had been having problems with the kids sitting on their chairs the correct way at the beginning of the week, but we've worked through it." If it doesn't get better, "We've been having some problems sitting on chairs the proper way this week, but we're working through it and I'm sure next week will be even better."

                      Good luck! They'll learn standing is no fun and if they don't get the attention for their misbehavior they'll catch on really quickly.

                      Comment

                      • Leigh
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Apr 2013
                        • 3814

                        #12
                        I had an issue with an ADHD 4 yo who simply refused to sit on a chair properly. I took away his chair for a week, he stood for every meal. When he got his chair back, he lost it again within minutes for another week. After that week, we had no more problems with sitting on chairs.

                        Comment

                        • Bookworm
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Aug 2011
                          • 883

                          #13
                          Originally posted by daycare
                          ok I think I discovered my biggest pet peeve.

                          It is when parents say.......I can't get my child to

                          fill in the blank
                          sit in their car seat
                          eat their food sitting at the table


                          that would have made me mad too.

                          I would have told dcm well when they can't respect our furniture here, the natural consequence is that it is taken away. maybe if you jumped on board with implementing natural consequences, together we could rid of this unwanted behavior. I'll ask them tomorrow if they got to keep their chairs at home last night. ugh
                          This is in my top three pet peeves. Every time I hear it from a parent, I always ask: Why do you need their permission? Then I proceed to do what the parent couldn't do. As far as he chair incident, if a child and sit the right way in a chair they have to stand up. I give one warning and after that, they stand up. I agree with Gemma. After giving 2 warnings to the child, I would bring it up with the parents. If they parents won't help, then it's time to term.

                          Comment

                          • Josiegirl
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Jun 2013
                            • 10834

                            #14
                            I agree with taking the chair away BUT if one kid is standing there eating, or doing crafts, all I can picture is the rest of them trying to do the same thing and all heck breaking loose. Obviously they didn't want to be in that chair to begin with? Do you ever find that happening?

                            Comment

                            • Gemma
                              Childcare Provider
                              • Mar 2015
                              • 1277

                              #15
                              Originally posted by mommiebookworm
                              I have a dcb4 who will not stop jumping on the couch. I finally told mom one day, how embarrassed I was that he was using the couch as a trampoline when two ladies from church stopped by. I said to him in front of mom that he cannot jump on the couch. He still tries, and I have to remind him at least twice a week. It's irritating! He has told me that he jumps on the couch and the bed at home.
                              That kid, in my house, wouldn't even be allowed CLOSE to the couch!

                              I agree the " Can't get my kid to...." is the most annoying thing I hear parents say!

                              Comment

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