Am I Just Being a Picky Mom?!

[worriedandstuckmom]

I'm not playing a card it's reality....who is gunna pay the bills put food on the table....I can't just pull him out on monday and wait until I find something else to go back to work. Sorry but that isn't how that works if I could do that then I wouldn't be here just asking for some advice. Obviously if there was physical abuse or something really major I would figure something out but that isn't the case I may not agree with everything but this isn't a case where my son is getting beaten or starved or something. That's y I'm here getting advise and am looking for a daycare but I'll tell u what I am a single mom so it's not easy and I can't just pull him out and decide not to work. I have no family close no friends that don't work. I have no other options right now and not trying to be rude but please don't say I need to put my child first like I'm not already!

[worriedandstuckmom]

I also agree with this. Perhaps you need to have a talk with the director about your concerns.

I have tried this as well...to bad that the director is the mother of the teacher that's the main problem so I never get anywhere with it but her sticking up for her daughter

[Thriftylady]

No reality is that as a mother if you complain about the care and the teacher being lazy and neglecting your son, YOU are neglecting him if you leave him there. I get single parent, I was a single parent. I made $210 a week and paid $120 of that each week to daycare. I had cheaper daycare for three days. Until I picked up my kids and my DD who was 18 months at the time was in a playpen with a bottle and my son told me she had been in there all day. That was their last day there. I found a new provider that night and was at work the next morning. If it is so bad, pull him if not then you can't complain.

[Unregistered]

If you feel that stuck, then you have your answer: find a new daycare.

[Bookworm]

Does anyone know what would someone have to do, if you're on state assistance, to change centers. Will she have to do different paperwork for the new center? Is there a gap in assistance pay because of processing the new paperwork? If she changes centers, is she responsible for the full amount of care in the new center until the paperwork is processed?

If the answers to those questions are yes, if mom is telling the truth, it might be why she just can't pull DS. She says she has no backup because her family all works. If she can't afford full price then she can't afford to miss to much work trying to find care.

[Thriftylady]

It may vary by state, but when I took state payments in Kansas the case worker would usually call me within 24 hours and tell me the child was enrolled and they were sending the paperwork. Never seemed to be an issue. UNLESS it was a parent who had changed several times in a short period I had one caseworker tell me this was the clients last change due to that and I told the caseworker in that case I wouldn't take the child.

[worriedandstuckmom]

Wow didnt realize coming on here drama would start. I was asking for advice and I get told I'm neglecting my kid. I don't understand y you had to get all upset and u r a daycare provider?
It's a pain in the butt to switch everything with state it's a bunch of paperwork and i would prob have to pay a couple weeks. I didn't come on here to get judged I came on here for advice. I am looking for a daycare again as simple as I was looking for advice and seeing if im over reacting not someone to tell me I'm neglecting my son by leaving him there. This is nothing like a baby being left in a playpen all day propped with a bottle so don't even compare. Thank you to everyone else that gave me constructive criticism and advice and not for knocking me down!!!

[Unregistered]

I would look for other child care provider. My child was the biter, he would only bite one older boy 2 1/2, come to find out that boy kept grabbing toys from my child or tackling
/ pushing my child. My child was 19 months. He never bit anyone else or ever again, the other boy moved to kindergarten.

[Josiegirl]

I've never been in your shoes so I can't understand 100%. But you do have my compassion. Does your referral agency help with finding quality daycare? Can you ask them for advice and support?

Do you currently bring your child to a family home day care or a center? If there are 2 people running this place, it doesn't sound like the numbers are off. But I can't be sure. However, it does sound like they're frustrated and just doing what works in the heat of things. And sometimes that's not the best course of action because it's obviously not working. Plus the inconsistencies within the 2 women wouldn't set well with me at all. If it's confusing to you, just imagine how the kids must feel.

Is your child happy there? Does he act like he wants to go every day? Your child can tell you a lot with actions.

Can you make calls at night, to local daycares, to see what else is out there that might be a better fit? I would place a call into your local child care resource and referral agency and see what they can help you with. Plead your case. At your place of work, can you ask around for recommendations of people?

Good luck!

Btw, reading your first post, I tended to side on with the provider because in a group situation it can be difficult so certain rules need to be followed. But it sounds like with providers constantly changing those rules and not being willing to hear you out(usually providers try to work with families a bit)I'd say your best bet is to find someone else, however you can do that.

[Josiegirl]

Oh and don't forget we all do things differently. Some providers consider their bathroom rules differently than I do, some treat 'from home' toys/snacks differently than I do, we all do things differently. I hope you can find someone you really like.

[Crystal]

Well if what you are saying is true why are you still there? If my child was having major issues while in care my child wouldn't be there. The single mom card doesn't work you have to put your child first. Either the care is good or it isn't it can't be both.

This is really out of line. She is seeking alternate care, and she came here for advice, not to be bashed.

[LadyBugHugs]

Wow didnt realize coming on here drama would start. I was asking for advice and I get told I'm neglecting my kid. I don't understand y you had to get all upset and u r a daycare provider?
It's a pain in the butt to switch everything with state it's a bunch of paperwork and i would prob have to pay a couple weeks. I didn't come on here to get judged I came on here for advice. I am looking for a daycare again as simple as I was looking for advice and seeing if im over reacting not someone to tell me I'm neglecting my son by leaving him there. This is nothing like a baby being left in a playpen all day propped with a bottle so don't even compare. Thank you to everyone else that gave me constructive criticism and advice and not for knocking me down!!!

It is hard reading what others say without emotion when you are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated/angry/etc. I think those that responded gave you information and reasoning to back what they were saying, not criticizing you. I get the sense from your posts that you are ready to find a new provider but were looking for reasons to do so, sounds like "it isn't the right fit" would be just fine. You are the parent and have every right to raise your son in the way you choose, but that doesn't mean that the provider you are going to will do the same. I think you are past the talking and working something out point, in my experience when negativity starts to boil then it just festers until the next incident then all of it will be brought up again.

[Crystal]

Wow didnt realize coming on here drama would start. I was asking for advice and I get told I'm neglecting my kid. I don't understand y you had to get all upset and u r a daycare provider?
It's a pain in the butt to switch everything with state it's a bunch of paperwork and i would prob have to pay a couple weeks. I didn't come on here to get judged I came on here for advice. I am looking for a daycare again as simple as I was looking for advice and seeing if im over reacting not someone to tell me I'm neglecting my son by leaving him there. This is nothing like a baby being left in a playpen all day propped with a bottle so don't even compare. Thank you to everyone else that gave me constructive criticism and advice and not for knocking me down!!!

Where are you located? Perhaps some one here is in your area and would work with you.

[Thriftylady]

This is really out of line. She is seeking alternate care, and she came here for advice, not to be bashed.

She says she has been having issues for six months, yet doesn't want to take any of the advice given, it may take a couple of weeks to do paperwork in her state, but if she has been having issues for six months why didn't she start the paperwork five months ago? I am not bashing, just stating fact as I see it. We have all offered advice and she has a hundred reasons why nothing will work. If you ask for advice you have to be willing to take it or don't ask.

[daycare]

She says she has been having issues for six months, yet doesn't want to take any of the advice given, it may take a couple of weeks to do paperwork in her state, but if she has been having issues for six months why didn't she start the paperwork five months ago? I am not bashing, just stating fact as I see it. We have all offered advice and she has a hundred reasons why nothing will work. If you ask for advice you have to be willing to take it or don't ask.

We create our own obstacles yet are the only resolution.