I am at a loss

[daycare]

BC Shout out

this was me... years ago. UNTIL

I got cyber smacked by BC!! In a good way.

She bluntly told me what I did not want to hear but needed to hear.

It didn't happen instantly, it didn't happen over night. It took time to figure out how to stand up to parents and enforce all policies of the daycare professionally.

BC. May not know this, but reading the things she would post in response to my threads, forced me to self reflect. Which was not an easy thing to do.

I had to look at my program and ask myself. What is not working? What is working? What do I need to do to fix the things that are not working. 99.9% of the time the things that were not working were the things that I was not taking action on.

I had to choice to do something no matter how much I did or didn't like it. I had to stop being my own obstacle. I had to stop, reflect and realize that I am the resolution.

So after a few rocky attempts to stand up to parents, I realized that It was ME again making it harder for myself. The parents really were not as bad as I thought, it was me over thinking things.

I simply had to learn to build my backbone one step at a time. BUT you have to start some where............

[daycarediva]

Send a text/email or whatever your typical communication route is

"Dcp, as a reminder your payment is 10(? it's the 25th!) days past due. I have waived the late fees thus far. The balance of $X is due no later than X time in (cash/check) or I will be forced to charge you a late fee of $x and refuse service until your balance is paid in full. Moving ahead, all payments will be due on the 1st and 15th, or the next business day I am open, per our contract or the late fees of $x/day will apply. Thank you, Provider"

[Laurel]

What has helped me with backbone is to have my husband or grown son or daughter in the next room listening. Also having one tell me "Mom, you're not gonna do it are you?" Well that ticked me off and I knew he was listening so I forced myself to say what I had to say...in a nice but firm way. Maybe you should get reinforcements. But once you do it you will feel incredibly good. It is a wonderful feeling. You can do it!

Laurel

[TheGoodLife]

I would insist that late payments start the day the payment was due- does not matter if the kids were not there or not, their spot was being held. Payment is due the 15th. Monday was the 16th- the late fee of $X per each day starting the 16th is die with payment and no more care given until paid in full. Have in writing and keep a dated copy for your records and give to DCP. I'd let him know, if he argues, that his choice to disregard his financial obligation because, as he told you, he "didnt want to", that you are sticking to your contract.

[laundrymom]

I don't think she has a clue how many of us respect her advice. It's rescued me more than once.

this was me... years ago. UNTIL

I got cyber smacked by BC!! In a good way.

She bluntly told me what I did not want to hear but needed to hear.

It didn't happen instantly, it didn't happen over night. It took time to figure out how to stand up to parents and enforce all policies of the daycare professionally.

BC. May not know this, but reading the things she would post in response to my threads, forced me to self reflect. Which was not an easy thing to do.

I had to look at my program and ask myself. What is not working? What is working? What do I need to do to fix the things that are not working. 99.9% of the time the things that were not working were the things that I was not taking action on.

I had to choice to do something no matter how much I did or didn't like it. I had to stop being my own obstacle. I had to stop, reflect and realize that I am the resolution.

So after a few rocky attempts to stand up to parents, I realized that It was ME again making it harder for myself. The parents really were not as bad as I thought, it was me over thinking things.

I simply had to learn to build my backbone one step at a time. BUT you have to start some where............

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

this was me... years ago. UNTIL

I got cyber smacked by BC!! In a good way.

She bluntly told me what I did not want to hear but needed to hear.

It didn't happen instantly, it didn't happen over night. It took time to figure out how to stand up to parents and enforce all policies of the daycare professionally.

BC. May not know this, but reading the things she would post in response to my threads, forced me to self reflect. Which was not an easy thing to do.

I had to look at my program and ask myself. What is not working? What is working? What do I need to do to fix the things that are not working. 99.9% of the time the things that were not working were the things that I was not taking action on.

I had to choice to do something no matter how much I did or didn't like it. I had to stop being my own obstacle. I had to stop, reflect and realize that I am the resolution.

So after a few rocky attempts to stand up to parents, I realized that It was ME again making it harder for myself. The parents really were not as bad as I thought, it was me over thinking things.

I simply had to learn to build my backbone one step at a time. BUT you have to start some where............

I completely agree that BC and few others on here help me a lot with issues. Your totally right. I know if I just took the Bulls by the horns and said enough is enough it would change or they will pull out like my last parent did when I wouldn't change things to her liking. I am responsible for letting it get to this point. This is actually the first time that we have had snow and they missed an entire week. Dad is more of an butthole than mom. He is more of an aggressive than she is. However, he likes to take jabs at me too when he gets a chance. Yet he is a push over with his kids. Crying when he put his dd (2-yr old) in timeout for the first time. Mom said he had tears flowing down his face because he made her cry.
I am going to have to standup for myself no matter what because I'm sure there are gonna be other times just like this one. I never did this to my providers EVER. My oldest daughter dad was given orders to Texas and I was court ordered to let her go there for 6 weeks at a time when she was 3-years old. I never one time that entire year I had to do 6 weeks on and 6-weeks off not paid my provider. It didn't even cross my mind. If I was off I went and paid her. If I was going on vacation she was paid early. When I got a raise at work I passed it on to her even when she didn't raise her rates. Then with my second baby that previous provider decided to stop doing daycare and travel more so my kids went to a center that my work had. The two weeks my husband would be off for Christmas or even federal holidays my kids stayed home and didn't go to the center. So it really gets me when people don't respect what we do or the hours we work. This is a hard job with a ton of liability.

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

Send a text/email or whatever your typical communication route is

"Dcp, as a reminder your payment is 10(? it's the 25th!) days past due. I have waived the late fees thus far. The balance of $X is due no later than X time in (cash/check) or I will be forced to charge you a late fee of $x and refuse service until your balance is paid in full. Moving ahead, all payments will be due on the 1st and 15th, or the next business day I am open, per our contract or the late fees of $x/day will apply. Thank you, Provider"

I text this and guess who showed up 20-minutes ago with the money owed minus the days that I screwed myself out of but 300$ is better than none.

[ColorfulSunburst]

A late payment fee makes a miracle.

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

What has helped me with backbone is to have my husband or grown son or daughter in the next room listening. Also having one tell me "Mom, you're not gonna do it are you?" Well that ticked me off and I knew he was listening so I forced myself to say what I had to say...in a nice but firm way. Maybe you should get reinforcements. But once you do it you will feel incredibly good. It is a wonderful feeling. You can do it!

Laurel

My husband does this too. He pushes me out of my comfort zone. He told me today that I shouldn't look at it as begging for money for doing nothing. He said that when dad said he would come back last night or this morning then my text was holding them to their decisions and that I expect payment today. I used the text message suggested above and amazingly they were here not too long after. They were at best buy buying mom a new phone so yeah..... I firmly believe that had I not sent out the email encouraged by my husband and perfectly setup by a previous post on here I wouldn't have seen a dime till Friday.

[daycarediva]

I text this and guess who showed up 20-minutes ago with the money owed minus the days that I screwed myself out of but 300$ is better than none.

Texting is MUCH easier (at first!) than in person confrontation. Just stick to it and if YOU stick to your policies, everyone else will, too.

The next time they're late, send them a reminder text and attach the late fee!


Glad you got paid! happyface

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

I would insist that late payments start the day the payment was due- does not matter if the kids were not there or not, their spot was being held. Payment is due the 15th. Monday was the 16th- the late fee of $X per each day starting the 16th is die with payment and no more care given until paid in full. Have in writing and keep a dated copy for your records and give to DCP. I'd let him know, if he argues, that his choice to disregard his financial obligation because, as he told you, he "didnt want to", that you are sticking to your contract.

This day forward Im going to be more assertive. I'm always very intimidated by people when it comes to money. It would be different if it was like before where we didn't depend on my money, but that changed fairly quickly when my husband wasn't finding a job as quickly as he thought he was going to and then had a company drag out hiring process from August to December when they decided he had too many things in his medical record from the military. I'm thankful he found a job and one that pays well but not what he was making in the military so we have had to adjust and now it's time for me to step up my game. It scares me but if it scares you then it's worth it .... Right.... Or so I'm told.

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

Texting is MUCH easier (at first!) than in person confrontation. Just stick to it and if YOU stick to your policies, everyone else will, too.

The next time they're late, send them a reminder text and attach the late fee!


Glad you got paid! happyface

Mom is a texting style person. I probably wouldn't even know her voice if she called me from a different number. I have never even spoken to dad on the phone either. I hope it doesn't come down to face to face confrontation. I hate the anxiety it causes. I've only had to do that once in 4-years and it was because I was sooo pissed from all the bull **** this mom did that I couldn't hold back this particular mom brought her son covered in mosquito bites. I'm talking a good 50 bites on him. He was crying because he was itching and he was just 6 months old. I made her come get him and take him on base to his doctor with a doctor note. A few weeks later she didn't call or show for three days and she said she was in a coma and couldn't contact me. She forgot my past job was in a hospital. I was like your not gonna be in a coma for three days and then released to work two days later. It doesn't work that way. You don't go into a coma and wake up get released from hospital and back to active duty. So yeah it was 9-months of lie after lie with her.

[ColorfulSunburst]

...she said she was in a coma and couldn't contact me...

I almost woke up all kids here with my laughter.
::::::

[Unregistered]

I am non-confrontational too, but would not use my spouse to solve my business problems any more than I would go to his boss to negotiate him a raise.

I just do a text or email or cubby note that says, Just a reminder: To avoid late fees, you need to pay xx by xx date/time. Yes, I put a time, I do not want to wait forever to see if they are going to pay me.

[Shell]

I would see this as their final warning, and then let them go. I understand how it feels to need the money, but no amount of money is worth disrespect.
I enjoy terming jerk parents- I think it teaches them a nice life lesson.
My dh has also mentioned taking on the business side- my mom too :: , but once you get tough, it becomes easier.

I also third that BC is the best with this kind of advice. She always helps me see the other side and when I don't listen to her, I wind up kicking myself ::