I am at a loss

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

So I posted about how I screwed myself out of three days of pay. Well the kids came yesterday and the dad always pays me at pick up. No big deal to me it has been that way for a year and half. Yesterday he picks up and flat out tells me he didn't forget to get my money. When it started snowing harder he decided to just come get the kids because he didn't want to drive out with them in the car when the roads got bad. Here is the kicker.... He passes two 7/11 stores with ATMs and a bank that is at the end of the main road I'm off of. Then he said oh I'll bring it back tonight or tomorrow if we are out and about. If not they will be here Friday. We are getting 5-8 more inches of snow here tonight into tomorrow so I seriously doubt I will see them today and certainly not Friday if mom school is closed. I depend on that money now to pay several bills and to buy groceries. It's really messing my budget up to not have had that 500$ in my account two weeks ago. They are due to pay me again on the first. I've got ads out to try an replace them. My friend who also does daycare said I should just hand them an immediate termination notice the second they hand me the money. However, I can't afford to let them go with out replacement. I hate confrontation at all. I already don't make them pay for summer to hold their spot. So I'm allowing myself to get walked on. I don't know how to move forward from this because it is causing me a lot of animosity to realize how little I'm valued to them. My husband told me last night that clearly I am not a priority in their book and that they are taking advantage of my lack of confidence. He keeps telling me the second I feel confident in what I'm doing then things will change. I feel bad on one hand because I didn't keep their kids so technically they are paying me for nothing. Which my husband tells me no they are paying for the option to bring their child. He is very very very business smart and confronting people is something he is good at. He has suggest that he take over the administration part of my daycare because he is tired of watching me get walked on. He knows I'm too intimidated by people to hold their feet to the fire.
What would you ladies do?

[Thriftylady]

I am so sorry. You sound like me, I have a hard time standing up for myself also. I would keep looking for someone to replace them, and then be a little more strict with the replacement. It really is true that if we give someone an inch they want a mile.

[laundrymom]

My husband has stepped in before.
Years ago I had a family and dad got laid off for a few weeks. He brought them any ways so he could search for new job, interview and complete some big jobs on their home prior to winter(supplies had already been purchased). We approved getting paid late so they could take care of things because, it's what we "do", care for people. Two weeks turned into 4 and they were behind over $1200. We were told that unemployment had a glitch in system, that money was coming. I didn't get payment but I understood the situation and, knowing the money would come in a lump sum, I was okay.
Until we ran into them appliance store one weekend buying a ginormous TV. Like, 60 inch hd. Back when hd was new.
Hubs didn't confront them in store, but met dad at door Monday morning.
Informed him that if money wasn't paid by noon or the new TV delivered to our home, he could come get his kids and we would see them in court. That to ask me to work without pay while he's furnishing his man cave was outrageous.
Dcd claimed TV was bought on cc and they had no money to pay. Hubs just closed the door.
I was so nervous. I expected a licensing visit. I expected a call from dcm asking why we were acting that way. I never expected dcd to show less than an hour later w cash money. Paid in full.
Come to find out, company had given severance. Oodles of severance.

I say,
Turn hubs loose. You are partners in life, right? He's your protector. Someone's taking advantage of you and it hurts him to see.
Good luck. Please update.

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

I am so sorry. You sound like me, I have a hard time standing up for myself also. I would keep looking for someone to replace them, and then be a little more strict with the replacement. It really is true that if we give someone an inch they want a mile.

I am going to expand my hours and hopefully that will work to generate some calls. I changed some things with my new one that started and I get paid no matter what with that one except my vacation time. I made it clear that if I'm open and they decide not to bring their child that is on them. Last week they missed two days. One because of the snow fall and then second because dcm dad didn't want her driving more then she needed to so he kept the grandson.

[Rockgirl]

I used to have a really hard time with insisting on getting paid. Then my husband said something that clicked. He told me that it may feel awkward to come out and say that they owe the money, so pay up, but once those words are out, the awkwardness immediately shifts onto them. They KNOW they owe the money. They KNOW they need to pay. Let them be the ones to feel awkward and have to come up with the solution.

[cara041083]

In your contract when is the due date for payment? If it's now then I would charge them a late fee and give them a Late fee per day and give them a warning.

[AmyKidsCo]

I used to have a really hard time with insisting on getting paid. Then my husband said something that clicked. He told me that it may feel awkward to come out and say that they owe the money, so pay up, but once those words are out, the awkwardness immediately shifts onto them. They KNOW they owe the money. They KNOW they need to pay. Let them be the ones to feel awkward and have to come up with the solution.

That's a good way to think of it. I always think of myself as Walmart - they wouldn't ask Walmart if they could walk out with a careful of stuff and pay later, so why should my business be any different?

[LysesKids]

I just confronted a mom on this same issue... I haven't seen pay since 2 weeks ago; of course I was closed a few days last week due to an ice storm, but I was open the rest & she never showed until today; Nope, no $. I said technically I don't have to take little miss & she said really ( in a huffy voice) - I took the baby & told her cash at pickup, that this was the only pass she was getting. Her husband keeps all the $ in the bank, but she could have hit the ATM on the way here

BTW, I have a replacement signing tonight

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

My husband has stepped in before.
Years ago I had a family and dad got laid off for a few weeks. He brought them any ways so he could search for new job, interview and complete some big jobs on their home prior to winter(supplies had already been purchased). We approved getting paid late so they could take care of things because, it's what we "do", care for people. Two weeks turned into 4 and they were behind over $1200. We were told that unemployment had a glitch in system, that money was coming. I didn't get payment but I understood the situation and, knowing the money would come in a lump sum, I was okay.
Until we ran into them appliance store one weekend buying a ginormous TV. Like, 60 inch hd. Back when hd was new.
Hubs didn't confront them in store, but met dad at door Monday morning.
Informed him that if money wasn't paid by noon or the new TV delivered to our home, he could come get his kids and we would see them in court. That to ask me to work without pay while he's furnishing his man cave was outrageous.
Dcd claimed TV was bought on cc and they had no money to pay. Hubs just closed the door.
I was so nervous. I expected a licensing visit. I expected a call from dcm asking why we were acting that way. I never expected dcd to show less than an hour later w cash money. Paid in full.
Come to find out, company had given severance. Oodles of severance.

I say,
Turn hubs loose. You are partners in life, right? He's your protector. Someone's taking advantage of you and it hurts him to see.
Good luck. Please update.

These two parents get paid no matter what. Dad is military (hubby being ex military knows how much this guy gets paid) mom is teacher. I'm not sure how her contract works if they get paid for snow days or if that comes out of their vacation time. I don't know anyone who can afford to not get paid for two weeks.

[laundrymom]

These two parents get paid no matter what. Dad is military (hubby being ex military knows how much this guy gets paid) mom is teacher. I'm not sure how her contract works if they get paid for snow days or if that comes out of their vacation time. I don't know anyone who can afford to not get paid for two weeks.

Yes. Step down and let hubs handle. I know it's not the popular way, but sometimes a strong presence, instead of the loving provider they are used to, works.

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

In your contract when is the due date for payment? If it's now then I would charge them a late fee and give them a Late fee per day and give them a warning.

In my contract with them it states that they pay 1/15th unless those days fall on a weekend then they pay the first day of care. Which of course is usually that Monday. Well the 16th was a holiday for both mom and dad so they didn't bring the kids. Then we got 7 inches of snow that night so they weren't here the rest of the week. My other daycare kids all were here. This week dad was on leave due to up coming deployment so he kept them home Monday. Technically yesterday was the "first day of care" since he didn't bring it yesterday I could charge late fee starting today. I have never charged them late fees before when "he forgot". This time it wasn't that he forgot. He flat out told me he didn't forget I just wasn't a priority even though he went past three ATMs but since they weren't "free" ATM he didn't stop.

[Unregistered]

Notifiy your families that effective immediately there is a 20 dollar a day late payment fee.

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

Yes. Step down and let hubs handle. I know it's not the popular way, but sometimes a strong presence, instead of the loving provider they are used to, works.

Dad also brought up the fact that I wasn't going to sign a form stating that DCB lived here so he can go to preschool with my dd next school year. They don't want him to have to adjust to a new provider again and try not to change things on him to much. Apparently this kid had issues adjusting to me when he started back in August of 2013. Really! I looked at dad and was like the only thing I noticed was his lack of boundaries which he still has. Dad just looked at me and was like well we noticed it at home. Funny here it is almost March 2015 and this is the first I am hearing about it. It couldn't have been the fact he was home with mom for 4 months with absolutely no discipline (he would put mom in timeout) or that he went from an only child to a new sister. He still has no discipline at all. I'm talking NONE.... I'm sure he did have a hard time adjusting to me because I don't let my daycare kids rule the roost. So when he got home it was 1000% worse. According to mom the last provider let him do whatever he wanted but once he got out of hand with hitting then the tables turned. So who knows. I'm just irritated with the money part because my husband was jobless for 7 months and my income is what has held us up.

[cara041083]

In my contract with them it states that they pay 1/15th unless those days fall on a weekend then they pay the first day of care. Which of course is usually that Monday. Well the 16th was a holiday for both mom and dad so they didn't bring the kids. Then we got 7 inches of snow that night so they weren't here the rest of the week. My other daycare kids all were here. This week dad was on leave due to up coming deployment so he kept them home Monday. Technically yesterday was the "first day of care" since he didn't bring it yesterday I could charge late fee starting today. I have never charged them late fees before when "he forgot". This time it wasn't that he forgot. He flat out told me he didn't forget I just wasn't a priority even though he went past three ATMs but since they weren't "free" ATM he didn't stop.

Ok. I don't want to come off as rude, but I have been through this before. I would have made dad bring me money when it was due. Regardless of the kids being there or not. Now I understand snow and I have let parents pay late on snow days. But the thing is if you don't enforce when the money is due, then they will think they can pay you when every they want or when its best for them regardless of what it says in the contract because you have always let it slide. So in the dad's mind whey is this time any different then other times. Does that make sense? My pay day is every Friday and even if a child isn't here that day I still expect payment due in full or I start charging a late fee at 5:30 pm and if I don't get all my money by Monday at 8am the kids can't come back. I don't care if they have get out and bring it to me. They get paid on time so should we. I would get a notice together for everyone (even the one's paying on time) and I would state an update to your contract. I would spell out when payment is due, I would also let them know that a late fee will be charged per day and if child is absent then payment is still due. I would give it to every parent as an update and have them sign it and put it with the contract you have. Then you can stand by it and hopefully not have it happen again.

[cara041083]

Dad also brought up the fact that I wasn't going to sign a form stating that DCB lived here so he can go to preschool with my dd next school year. They don't want him to have to adjust to a new provider again and try not to change things on him to much. Apparently this kid had issues adjusting to me when he started back in August of 2013. Really! I looked at dad and was like the only thing I noticed was his lack of boundaries which he still has. Dad just looked at me and was like well we noticed it at home. Funny here it is almost March 2015 and this is the first I am hearing about it. It couldn't have been the fact he was home with mom for 4 months with absolutely no discipline (he would put mom in timeout) or that he went from an only child to a new sister. He still has no discipline at all. I'm talking NONE.... I'm sure he did have a hard time adjusting to me because I don't let my daycare kids rule the roost. So when he got home it was 1000% worse. According to mom the last provider let him do whatever he wanted but once he got out of hand with hitting then the tables turned. So who knows. I'm just irritated with the money part because my husband was jobless for 7 months and my income is what has held us up.

And with this I would have termed right there. How dare he ask that of yout and treat you like that.