Cold heart or give a second chance?

[kendallina]

I do agree with the others, give her the benefit of the doubt. However, do not let her get away with texting instead of calling. Speak to her in person and let her know again that you do not accept texting for lateness/calling off/ANYTHING.


I would not, however, give her the letter. She already knows that she's on 90 days probation and the note only serves to let her know that either: you don't trust her story or you don't actually care about her grandmother's death.

Best of luck...having employees can be hard!

[daycare]

I do agree with the others, give her the benefit of the doubt. However, do not let her get away with texting instead of calling. Speak to her in person and let her know again that you do not accept texting for lateness/calling off/ANYTHING.


I would not, however, give her the letter. She already knows that she's on 90 days probation and the note only serves to let her know that either: you don't trust her story or you don't actually care about her grandmother's death.

Best of luck...having employees can be hard!

thanks ladies.... I am feeling pressure from my lead asst. She just doesnt believe the new hire's story. I am riding in the middle, perhaps could be true, perhaps not. Since I don't know the truth, I am gong to just say nothing about it, let them know about the text, that they need to call.

I have 3 other asst. they are all so wonderful, but it is very hard at times.

I know this sounds bad, but with the way young people are these days, it's really hard to find help that is not entitled to everything and actually works when they are here. I have not been through too many employees thank goodness, I try to make this a fun and inviting place to work. I love what I do and they can see that so we are all always having a good time together.

again thanks for the feed back. its hard to make a decision when someone else in per swaying your decision.

[racemom]

The text would not be an issue with my employer. In fact, I think she prefers them for both employees and parent communication, that way there is no misunderstanding it is all right there to be referred to if needed. The calling off on her third day could be a sign of things to come, or a one time occurrence time will tell!

[daycare]

The text would not be an issue with my employer. In fact, I think she prefers them for both employees and parent communication, that way there is no misunderstanding it is all right there to be referred to if needed. The calling off on her third day could be a sign of things to come, or a one time occurrence time will tell!

I don't mind a text for most things, but if you need to call off, you need to talk with me. Its in our employee policies!!

[Heidi]

Another perspective about the texting:

When I am sick (which is not often but happened recently), I actually DO text my dcp's. I was honestly so pukey, talking was going to be a problem. Texting everyone at once was a relief! I don't know that I would have made it though multiple phone calls. Plus, I let them know at 5:30am. I was glad I didn't have to wake up the whole house by calling a ringing phone.

When I worked in a bank, however, it was not acceptable to text my boss.

So, as far as texting, it's whatever your policy is. I just see it's benefits.

Daycare, it should be pretty easy for you to find out if she was fibbing or her great-grandma really died. I'd base my decision on that. I'd look up the obits.

[daycare]

Another perspective about the texting:

When I am sick (which is not often but happened recently), I actually DO text my dcp's. I was honestly so pukey, talking was going to be a problem. Texting everyone at once was a relief! I don't know that I would have made it though multiple phone calls. Plus, I let them know at 5:30am. I was glad I didn't have to wake up the whole house by calling a ringing phone.

When I worked in a bank, however, it was not acceptable to text my boss.

So, as far as texting, it's whatever your policy is. I just see it's benefits.

Daycare, it should be pretty easy for you to find out if she was fibbing or her great-grandma really died. I'd base my decision on that. I'd look up the obits.

this is what my lead wanted me to do and I said that I don't want to start out a relationship this way. My lead said in addition to DOJ background, that I should do an internet search as well. Look at their FB and etc.

I just said that I wanted to wait it out at least one more week and see. I am not out a lot of money right now, so I am going to take the wait and see approach.

As for the texting, I get it when you have to contact several people, but they only needed to talk with me. I guess I am old school. I never really text much other than super simple things.

[daycare]

Another perspective about the texting:

When I am sick (which is not often but happened recently), I actually DO text my dcp's. I was honestly so pukey, talking was going to be a problem. Texting everyone at once was a relief! I don't know that I would have made it though multiple phone calls. Plus, I let them know at 5:30am. I was glad I didn't have to wake up the whole house by calling a ringing phone.

When I worked in a bank, however, it was not acceptable to text my boss.

So, as far as texting, it's whatever your policy is. I just see it's benefits.

Daycare, it should be pretty easy for you to find out if she was fibbing or her great-grandma really died. I'd base my decision on that. I'd look up the obits.

this is what my lead wanted me to do and I said that I don't want to start out a relationship this way. My lead said in addition to DOJ background, that I should do an internet search as well. Look at their FB and etc.

I just said that I wanted to wait it out at least one more week and see. I am not out a lot of money right now, so I am going to take the wait and see approach.

As for the texting, I get it when you have to contact several people, but they only needed to talk with me. I guess I am old school. I never really text much other than super simple things.

[Josiegirl]

I don't mind a text for most things, but if you need to call off, you need to talk with me. Its in our employee policies!!

Hmm, did she read the policies? I have to admit it does all sound fishy. Still, I'd do as you mentioned, tell her you're sorry and remind her to call next time. And if you did check her story, who would have to know?

How old is this girl? I cringe to remember how bad my work ethics were back when I was 18-20ish. I worked just enough to pay my bills and call in sick the rest of the time. I hardly take time off now.

[Learning Daycare]

If the funeral isn't on a weekend, she may be missing another day of work. I completely understand your feeling here. I would be annoyed but understanding of her "situation", if it is true.

[TheGoodLife]

My husband's grandpa is 95 year old. He's in pretty good health, we actually have him over for a family dinner every week and go to church each Sunday. However, he could get sick and pass without us "knowing" that it was coming. He's actually just getting over pneumonia (the 2nd time he's had it in probably 6 months or so). I guess I would just take her word for it and move on- if she needs to call off again, though, be ready to sit down and discuss or even terminate at that time.

[Crazy8]

I would give the benefit of the doubt if you have otherwise good feelings about this employee. It sounds like maybe you don't???

I think its apples to oranges comparing to a parent not bringing payment. I don't see the relation at all. If a parent is face to face with me they can make their payment, if they do not they do not bring the child back until they do. Simple as that. Employee relationship is different, gpa died, she didn't come in. I would address the calling vs. texting if that is an issue for you but especially since she is not even working with the children yet I would give the benefit of the doubt. And I would not think to tell my employer I have an elderly grandparent - because you don't always know when they are going to die.

[ACH247]

Does she get an bereavement leave? I would think if someone has a death in the family that is a valid reason to take off work. 3 days for immediate family. 1 day for any other. But in my organization we vale family.

[snbauser]

One other thing....

IMO you really should not be talking personnel issues with another employee. You are the boss and business owner. It's not the other employees business as to why another employee called out and whether you approve of their reason or not. I think talking about one employee negatively to another employee is both gossiping and can create a rift among employees. Just my personal opinion from when I had employees in my program and from when I worked outside the home.

[mom2many]

I have lost all 4 of my grandparents unexpectantly. Two were while I was doing daycare. Also, we had many close calls with my mil and if I put my life on hold and said I couldn't start a job because we might lose her, I'd have been out of work for years!

I totally understand the whole reliability issue and get why you have strict attendance policies, but life happens and sometimes things are unexpected. Personally I would never take issue with someone missing work if their loved one died. If they are a hard worker, show up on time and do what is expected then I would most definitely let it it slide. However, if there are red flags and they seem like a slacker, then this would be something I might want to research to see if they are actually being truthful or if they have bad work ethics.

Everyone has their own opinion on texting. Personally I like having documentation in writing, but if you want employes to call as stated in their hand book, then I'd address this and make sure she understands what's expected in the future.

[Starburst]

One other thing....

IMO you really should not be talking personnel issues with another employee. You are the boss and business owner. It's not the other employees business as to why another employee called out and whether you approve of their reason or not. I think talking about one employee negatively to another employee is both gossiping and can create a rift among employees. Just my personal opinion from when I had employees in my program and from when I worked outside the home.

OP: I noticed in some of the previous posts you mentioned that your lead assistant is "pressuring you", "this is what my lead wanted me to do", "My lead has the right to hire and fire people in my absents", "my lead doesn't want...", and "my lead said...". I think it may be time you re-evaluate this employee's role before you try to analyze your new employee. It sounds like your lead maybe starting to cross the line a bit, like she/he's getting up in your head and knows how to manipulate you (which can happen if you have worked with them for a long time). I'm not sure what your relationship is outside of work (friends, family, etc.) but boundary crossing is an issue that can occur after getting comfortable. Is this person your business partner or your employee? Because if she is your employee, IMHO, I think you have given her too much power.

All your employees, seasoned and new, have a right to fair treatment and confidentiality between them and the employer (it shouldn't have to be a privilege that needs to be earned), would you be talking about your lead behind their back with the new employee or another employee? If your lead unexpectedly missed work because someone in her family died last minute and she didn't say "Oh, by the way, my otherwise healthy aunt has a mild cold and there's less than a 4% chance she might kick the bucket at any moment." would you give her the benefit of the doubt?

Employees also deserve the right to a hostile free work environment. Working with children can be hostile enough with out your boss and co-workers talking about you behind your back. Right now, it seems like your lead has already pitted an "us vs. them" mentality with your employees. I understand she is your lead, but if she is not your business partner there are some things that just aren't her business and shouldn't be her decision.

It doesn't matter if the death was 'expected' or not, because unless you are God or the Grim Reaper (or whatever you believe in) no one can accurately predict death. My grandmother had Alzheimer for over 10 years (after a stroke), the last 7 years my mom would say "I think this is going to be my mom's last Christmas" and doctors suggested hospices several times through out the years, because of how fast she was deteriorating. She was actually starting to slightly improve (gaining a little weight, some signs of mental clarity) before she died in her sleep last year.

Personally, yes, I would be a little irked at first that my new assistant had to miss work when I needed her; but I would trust that most people would not willingly jeopardize a new job without a good reason. If someone close to you in your family died (unexpectedly or not) you would most likely hope that others respect your feelings and understand you may need some time to grieve or be there for other family members.

At the end of the day everything is your decision, not your lead's and not us. After all, who's the boss: you or your lead assistant?

I know this sounds bad, but with the way young people are these days, it's really hard to find help that is not entitled to everything and actually works when they are here. I have not been through too many employees thank goodness, I try to make this a fun and inviting place to work. I love what I do and they can see that so we are all always having a good time together.

and yes, honestly, that does sound bad/unfair to lump one group of people together and assume they are all alike (irresponsible and 'entitled to everything').

I am in the age group of what most people on here would call "young people" (under 25). I am currently nannying for two families (infant and a special needs tween) and on average work 7 days a week for $5/hr for both families. One of the families takes up my full weekend from 6:45 am until 9:30 at night on Saturdays and Sundays (a 2 hour break each day when grandparents take him to therapy or bowling) and I watch both on Monday (baby while the older boy is at school).

I did call in last Monday for the baby because the weather was affecting my asthma the last few days and didn't want to risk getting the baby sick, but it was also MLK day so the school ager was out of school and I had him all day (he was already getting over a cold so I was making sure I didn't catch anything and pass it to the baby). The baby isn't too much of a deal because that's more of a mother's helper thing (the mom is usually home and just needs someone to watch/play with him while she sleeps before her friend watches him in the afternoon while she works).

Even when I worked at a home daycare (late teens/earlier 20's) I was always reliable, often filled in for the providers own daughter (my roommate) who was older than me and knew she could get away with a lot more than other employees. She actually used to make inappropriate and even racist (that didn't apply to me) comments and jokes about me being a hard worker and willing to work for less than everyone else.

I have known young people who were very hard working and selfless and I have known older people who were very lazy and selfish (and, of course, vice versa). It's all based on the individual and their personal values, not yours or your assistants assumptions of what 'young people' are like these days.