Baby Goes to Daycare Before Mat Leave Is Over?

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Be prepared for a lot of hanging out... dropping by unannounced and long drop off and pick ups.

Or...

You got a me time parent.

These were ones that emphasized how much research they did finding a daycare, checking me out, and asking (and I allowed them to) to come hang out for 1 1/2 hours one day to "observe." I think they feel like they made such an excellent choice, and that maybe DCB couldn't be in better hands...even their own!::

I think it's a me time parent. Kiddo will be here open to close, every day I'm open. That I am used to, I just didn't think it would ever start with a cut-short maternity leave. It's a good thing she didn't realize I can actually start babies at 6-weeks, or he'd probably have been on his 3rd week here already.

[Heart]

It's not the personal parenting philosophy that I disagree with, it's the lack of support for the needs and choices other parents make that may be different from our own.

My best friend is the kind of parent who spends 24/7 with her son. He's nearly 2 years old and she has never been apart from him for more than a couple of hours here and there. I'm not that type of parent, and the first time I left my son overnight with his grandparents was when he was 2 months old so I could go attend a wedding in another state. But somehow both of us don't judge one another because our children are different, we as people are different, our families and situations are different, and at the end of the day, both of our children are deeply loved, cherished, and well cared for.

So it's not about whether you personally would want to spend 24/7/365 with your child, it's about whether you can have that need but acknowledge that other parents and children may have different needs and that is perfectly legitimate. I don't disagree with your parenting philosophy or choices, I disagree with the negative judgments at anything that's different.

[permanentvacation]

There's a chance that the mother wants to be home, available if there's any problems with the baby adjusting to going to daycare.

However, over the past few years, I have gotten more and more parents who show no interest in being with their child. They ask what my hours are, and when I tell them that I am open from 6 am - 11 pm, so I need to know from them what hours they work and therefore what hours they need daycare, they then ask me, 'Well, what's the longest I can leave him there?"!!! I've had parents call and say they need daycare from 6am-6pm. NO THEY DON'T! You know they don't really need daycare that long. They just know that many daycares are open 6 -6, so they want to leave their kids in daycare all 12 hours! I've had many parents come in Monday mornings and say, "Thank God it's Monday, HERE!" as they shove their child towards me. I couldn't tell you how many parents have asked me if they can have another family member or friend bring their child to daycare and pick their child up from daycare everyday for a week or even TWO WEEKS because they want to go on vacation without their child!

I don't understand these so-called parents either. I really think if we offered to raise their child day and night and give their parents visiting hours, the parents would actually take us up on it!

[Controlled Chaos]

It's not the personal parenting philosophy that I disagree with, it's the lack of support for the needs and choices other parents make that may be different from our own.

My best friend is the kind of parent who spends 24/7 with her son. He's nearly 2 years old and she has never been apart from him for more than a couple of hours here and there. I'm not that type of parent, and the first time I left my son overnight with his grandparents was when he was 2 months old so I could go attend a wedding in another state. But somehow both of us don't judge one another because our children are different, we as people are different, our families and situations are different, and at the end of the day, both of our children are deeply loved, cherished, and well cared for.

So it's not about whether you personally would want to spend 24/7/365 with your child, it's about whether you can have that need but acknowledge that other parents and children may have different needs and that is perfectly legitimate. I don't disagree with your parenting philosophy or choices, I disagree with the negative judgments at anything that's different.

you, I like you.

[Controlled Chaos]

Yep, judgement is tough, so make the choices that won't be negatively judged.



Thank you. That is exactly how I felt. I think it would be sensible to EASE IN, use just a FEW hours daily, or even just TWO full days or something, but not all day, every day. He is a newborn! Their first! He will be here 45-50 a week, every week, for the next 5 years of his life! Why in the world give up this precious last week?

It was a first for me, and I guess it shocked me. I am surprised that so many of you disagreed with me. Eh, different strokes for different folks.

The thing is, there is no "judge free" choice. I would not have made the same choice as your dcp (I don't think) but there is always someone who will disagree. One set of of inlaws loathes us raising our children in a religion. Another set of my children's grandparents will never forgive us for having children before being married in the church. I friend pities my children for not getting to co sleep. Another friend will never understand my choice to not breastfeed well into toddlerhood. Yet, another thinks I should have thought of my career more when weighing my decision to retire from teaching middle school. And these are my friends . :: I am a part of this generation of parenting. I don't always agree with my peers but I will usually defend them, because I have NEVER been at the store without someone making a judgmental comment about my children (ages 1,3 & 5). Seriously, every time. Why is she ****ing her thumb? Where are his socks? She is wearing a boy shirt! His face is dirty. It never ends.

[Play Care]

The thing is, there is no "judge free" choice. I would not have made the same choice as your dcp (I don't think) but there is always someone who will disagree. One set of of inlaws loathes us raising our children in a religion. Another set of my children's grandparents will never forgive us for having children before being married in the church. I friend pities my children for not getting to co sleep. Another friend will never understand my choice to not breastfeed well into toddlerhood. Yet, another thinks I should have thought of my career more when weighing my decision to retire from teaching middle school. And these are my friends . :: I am a part of this generation of parenting. I don't always agree with my peers but I will usually defend them, because I have NEVER been at the store without someone making a judgmental comment about my children (ages 1,3 & 5). Seriously, every time. Why is she ****ing her thumb? Where are his socks? She is wearing a boy shirt! His face is dirty. It never ends.

[KiddieCahoots]

These were ones that emphasized how much research they did finding a daycare, checking me out, and asking (and I allowed them to) to come hang out for 1 1/2 hours one day to "observe." I think they feel like they made such an excellent choice, and that maybe DCB couldn't be in better hands...even their own!::

I think it's a me time parent. Kiddo will be here open to close, every day I'm open. That I am used to, I just didn't think it would ever start with a cut-short maternity leave. It's a good thing she didn't realize I can actually start babies at 6-weeks, or he'd probably have been on his 3rd week here already.

What I hear is not so much the debate on different parenting styles, so much as what op is picking up on.
That she believes this child will be in her care, whenever that child possibly can be.
To me that is sad.

[Shell]

There's a chance that the mother wants to be home, available if there's any problems with the baby adjusting to going to daycare.

However, over the past few years, I have gotten more and more parents who show no interest in being with their child. They ask what my hours are, and when I tell them that I am open from 6 am - 11 pm, so I need to know from them what hours they work and therefore what hours they need daycare, they then ask me, 'Well, what's the longest I can leave him there?"!!! I've had parents call and say they need daycare from 6am-6pm. NO THEY DON'T! You know they don't really need daycare that long. They just know that many daycares are open 6 -6, so they want to leave their kids in daycare all 12 hours! I've had many parents come in Monday mornings and say, "Thank God it's Monday, HERE!" as they shove their child towards me. I couldn't tell you how many parents have asked me if they can have another family member or friend bring their child to daycare and pick their child up from daycare everyday for a week or even TWO WEEKS because they want to go on vacation without their child!

I don't understand these so-called parents either. I really think if we offered to raise their child day and night and give their parents visiting hours, the parents would actually take us up on it!

We always joked at a center where I used to work, that if we were able to take them directly home from the hospital after birth, some would take us up on it ::

[Annalee]

This topic will always be debatable and each side will have a logical solution that fits their own views....I have several children that come a few days a week and there are some that are here every time the doors are open and the pay is the same???? It can eat at you if you let, but am trying to not do that as much as I used to....just thankful I am full getting paid for every day! My friends outside of daycare ALL take their kids to daycare when they are off because, after all, we are paying....they are sure to tell me this which is why I conveniently am full when friends ask for daycare because I think it would irritate me more if it was someone i was around regularly:: I have stopped some of my frustration by taking so many more holidays and time off around slow times so I am not stuck here with one kid per say!

[Unregistered]

Nope. DCM is doing well, and looks fabulous. You would never know she had a baby just 8 weeks ago, or ever!

This is incredibly unfair. From the outside- I looked great and was a wonderful, doting mother- hundreds of pics on Facebook, nursing like a champ, etc. No one- not even my husband- was aware of the horrible thoughts and dreams I was having. No one knew I was hallucinating that my daughter was talking to me, or that I fantasized about drowning her. I never cried, never seemed sad. No one had any idea until I saw my gyn and she asked if I enjoyed being a mother and I realized I didn't. I was in therapy a few weeks later and realized how severly, severly mentally ill I was. 4 years and a lot of therapy later, I'm very aware that PPD manifests in many, many ways.

[Controlled Chaos]

I am sorry you went through that. :hug: My husband never noticed mine either. I was afraid to tell my friends because their kids attend my daycare and I didn't want them think I wasn't safe/healthy/capable of continuing a job I had to do for us to make ends meet. -sorry to highjack

[Blackcat31]

Here is my take on this...

I provide a service so that I can support my family.

Families buy my services so they can do __________.

That blank space is NONE of my business just as what I do with my personal time is none of anyone else's business.

I think that judging, venting and complaining about how other people parent their child(ren) IS unfair and not necessary at all.

No ONE parent sets the standard for right or wrong.

No ONE parenting style is right or wrong.

No amount of time with or without your child is right or wrong.

The ONLY things I am concerned about when a parent brings their child to me for care is:

Is the parent (or emergency contact person) reachable?
Is the child clean and not abused, malnourished and/or in need of any type of intervention?
Can the child participate normally or within the developmental guidelines for his/her age group?
Does the parent follow my policies and rules?

That's pretty much all I care about.

The rest is not for me to judge.

We all got into this business for many different reasons and our clients use our services for many different reasons.

Just as I do not want to be judged for my reasons, I do not judge parents for theirs.

This debate gets old.

NONE of us are in any position to judge why a parent uses our services.

Just be grateful that they do.

It enables you to pay your bills, keep food on your table and feed your own children.

It's that simple.

[Controlled Chaos]

Here is my take on this...

I provide a service so that I can support my family.

Families buy my services so they can do __________.

That blank space is NONE of my business just as what I do with my personal time is none of anyone else's business.

I think that judging, venting and complaining about how other people parent their child(ren) IS unfair and not necessary at all.

No ONE parent sets the standard for right or wrong.

No ONE parenting style is right or wrong.

No amount of time with or without your child is right or wrong.

The ONLY things I am concerned about when a parent brings their child to me for care is:

Is the parent (or emergency contact person) reachable?
Is the child clean and not abused, malnourished and/or in need of any type of intervention?
Can the child participate normally or within the developmental guidelines for his/her age group?
Does the parent follow my policies and rules?

That's pretty much all I care about.

The rest is not for me to judge.

We all got into this business for many different reasons and our clients use our services for many different reasons.

Just as I do not want to be judged for my reasons, I do not judge parents for theirs.

This debate gets old.

NONE of us are in any position to judge why a parent uses our services.

Just be grateful that they do.

It enables you to pay your bills, keep food on your table and feed your own children.

It's that simple.

[Heart]

Here is my take on this...

I provide a service so that I can support my family.

Families buy my services so they can do __________.

That blank space is NONE of my business just as what I do with my personal time is none of anyone else's business.

I think that judging, venting and complaining about how other people parent their child(ren) IS unfair and not necessary at all.

No ONE parent sets the standard for right or wrong.

No ONE parenting style is right or wrong.

No amount of time with or without your child is right or wrong.

The ONLY things I am concerned about when a parent brings their child to me for care is:

Is the parent (or emergency contact person) reachable?
Is the child clean and not abused, malnourished and/or in need of any type of intervention?
Can the child participate normally or within the developmental guidelines for his/her age group?
Does the parent follow my policies and rules?

That's pretty much all I care about.

The rest is not for me to judge.

We all got into this business for many different reasons and our clients use our services for many different reasons.

Just as I do not want to be judged for my reasons, I do not judge parents for theirs.

This debate gets old.

NONE of us are in any position to judge why a parent uses our services.

Just be grateful that they do.

It enables you to pay your bills, keep food on your table and feed your own children.

It's that simple.

So well said.

[nannyde]

Here is my take on this...

I provide a service so that I can support my family.

Families buy my services so they can do __________.

That blank space is NONE of my business just as what I do with my personal time is none of anyone else's business.

I think that judging, venting and complaining about how other people parent their child(ren) IS unfair and not necessary at all.

No ONE parent sets the standard for right or wrong.

No ONE parenting style is right or wrong.

No amount of time with or without your child is right or wrong.

The ONLY things I am concerned about when a parent brings their child to me for care is:

Is the parent (or emergency contact person) reachable?
Is the child clean and not abused, malnourished and/or in need of any type of intervention?
Can the child participate normally or within the developmental guidelines for his/her age group?
Does the parent follow my policies and rules?

That's pretty much all I care about.

The rest is not for me to judge.

We all got into this business for many different reasons and our clients use our services for many different reasons.

Just as I do not want to be judged for my reasons, I do not judge parents for theirs.

This debate gets old.

NONE of us are in any position to judge why a parent uses our services.

Just be grateful that they do.

It enables you to pay your bills, keep food on your table and feed your own children.

It's that simple.

I'm not interested in why either BUT I think the provider should be prepared for extensive conferencing and unannounced visits, long drop off and pick ups. May be a me time parent who doesn't seize the opportunity but considering the age of the infant, that would be a bit odd. They don't normally shun their baby until they get a taste of freedom after returning to work.