Baby Goes to Daycare Before Mat Leave Is Over?

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I have a new baby 8wks that started this week. Much to my surprise, DCM tells me at his very first drop-off this morning that he will be here daily, 7:30-4:30, but she took a week's vacay and doesn't go back to work until next week. :confused:

I don't know if I will ever get used to this generation of "parenting."

[Controlled Chaos]

Do you think she has post partum depression? I could have used a week alone after my last one, before the medication kicked in. Just a thought.

[Heart]

She may also be using that week to adjust to dropping off/not being around her newborn 24/7. I know a lot of moms that were absolutely useless for the first week that they were dropping off their child because they kept breaking down crying, worrying about the kid, leaving early to go pick up their child. So a week buffer where she can leave to go pick up the baby early if she wants, doesn't need to actually work and can go on an hour long crying jag, etc may make the transition easier on her.

And finally, even if it's just because she wants to, what's wrong with that? It's really annoying when you go back to work from being on maternity leave only to have people ask if you enjoyed your "vacation". Maybe she's going to sleep all day without having to worry about childcare to charge up her batteries considering how draining it is to care for a newborn in those early days (and especially those crazy early nights).

[Unregistered]

If she's nursing, it might also help her get the hang of pumping. The judgement as a mother is tough- if you're not around your kid every waking hour, you're horrible, and if you are- you're a helicopter mom. Can't win.

[jenboo]

If she's nursing, it might also help her get the hang of pumping. The judgement as a mother is tough- if you're not around your kid every waking hour, you're horrible, and if you are- you're a helicopter mom. Can't win.

[midaycare]

If she's nursing, it might also help her get the hang of pumping. The judgement as a mother is tough- if you're not around your kid every waking hour, you're horrible, and if you are- you're a helicopter mom. Can't win.

You said it!

[nannyde]

Be prepared for a lot of hanging out... dropping by unannounced and long drop off and pick ups.

Or...

You got a me time parent.

[Shell]

Be prepared for a lot of hanging out... dropping by unannounced and long drop off and pick ups.

Or...

You got a me time parent.

[DaveA]

I really don't see an issue with it. It's a transition not just for baby but mommy. When my son was born I got 2 days (and even that was treated like a gift from above by my Asst. Director ). I know for the first few days I wasn't an effective teacher because my wife & kids were on my mind constantly. I felt like I was abandoning them. I could easily see needing a couple of days with some time to myself after 6 weeks of a newborn.

[Unregistered]

I'm part of this generation of parents but really don't understand them. I chose to do daycare so I could be home and raise my child. So many others my age (I had dd at 19) would pawn their kids off with their parents to go out with friends etc. I'm a firm believer in raising your own child and not having someone else do it for you. If that were me I would be using every second of that vacation time to spend with my new baby. I could see if maybe she dropped off for an hour or two in the morning but all day? That's beyond.. I'm sorry but I really don't agree with everyone else on this.

[Sugaree]

I'm torn on this. I didn't do this, but I might have if my daycare had been closer to home.

Maybe not a full week, but maybe a day or two to see how the transition went. I can see where it would be nice to be available if say DS wouldn't take a bottle from someone other than me, or wouldn't stop crying, without having to leave work on my first day back. It would have also been nice to be able to have a day or two to catch up on emails so that I was prepared for what I was going to walk into after taking three months off.

To me, it's about work-life balance. Yes, the kiddo comes first, but at the moment I'm the sole breadwinner in my family (DH is in nursing school) so keeping my job is pretty important to my family's wellbeing.

What I did do was to start in the middle of the week rather than a Monday. Three days the first week, four days the next week, and then a full week.

[Play Care]

As a mom who was expected to head back to work after my mat leave, I did something similar. Not because I wanted "me" time or because I was tired. I felt as though it would be in everyone's best interest if baby started going before I had to go back in case things came up. In my case this worked out well, as I was unhappy with the care that dd was receiving (and realized that the caregiver was operating illegally )

That said, hopefully mom *is* just taking some time for some r & r, because if she's going back home and crying for hours, you might be looking for another child

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Do you think she has post partum depression? I could have used a week alone after my last one, before the medication kicked in. Just a thought.

Nope. DCM is doing well, and looks fabulous. You would never know she had a baby just 8 weeks ago, or ever!

[Heart]

I hate the idea that the only good parents are the ones who want to be with their child 24/7. I love my son dearly but I also enjoy my alone time, and time I spend with my husband as just a couple, and time I spend with friends. I didn't suddenly lose everything that makes me, me, only to be replaced by the title of "mommy" when I had him. And that doesn't make me love him any less. I think it's perfectly healthy for children to grow up knowing their parents have identities and lives outside of being parents. The insinuation that parents (especially mothers, funny how dad never gets held to this standard) who don't want to spend every waking moment with their child love or care for them less are judgmental and reeks of mommy wars. It's hard enough being a parent in this economy and world without having people judging you as inferior for every single move or decision you make.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

If she's nursing, it might also help her get the hang of pumping. The judgement as a mother is tough- if you're not around your kid every waking hour, you're horrible, and if you are- you're a helicopter mom. Can't win.

Yep, judgement is tough, so make the choices that won't be negatively judged.

I'm part of this generation of parents but really don't understand them. I chose to do daycare so I could be home and raise my child. So many others my age (I had dd at 19) would pawn their kids off with their parents to go out with friends etc. I'm a firm believer in raising your own child and not having someone else do it for you. If that were me I would be using every second of that vacation time to spend with my new baby. I could see if maybe she dropped off for an hour or two in the morning but all day? That's beyond.. I'm sorry but I really don't agree with everyone else on this.

Thank you. That is exactly how I felt. I think it would be sensible to EASE IN, use just a FEW hours daily, or even just TWO full days or something, but not all day, every day. He is a newborn! Their first! He will be here 45-50 a week, every week, for the next 5 years of his life! Why in the world give up this precious last week?

It was a first for me, and I guess it shocked me. I am surprised that so many of you disagreed with me. Eh, different strokes for different folks.