DCP Asking Other Parents For Handouts

[Unregistered]

While I agree that single mothers aren't entitled to anything more than any other parent, the bolded is really ignorant, IMO. I know I certainly never dreamt I'd be a single parent when I "bred" and had my child 8 years ago. Since I currently receive food assistance from the state should I be ashamed that I need help feeding my child?! Should he suffer because I couldn't keep my freaking marriage together and now I'm so broke that I had to turn to the state for help?!

Get off your high freaking horse. It's a difficult concept to grasp, apparently, but every last one of us is on the edge of losing everything... we just don't realize it until it happens.

Since my tax dollars are raising YOUR child, I will say anything I like. If you don't like it, TOUGH!

[Blackcat31]

Since my tax dollars are raising YOUR child, I will say anything I like. If you don't like it, TOUGH!

Your tax dollars are not a license to be rude.

No one plans to be in need at times.

I surely hope you are never in need as we reap what we sow and if you are choosing to be so cold and callous to those you "think" aren't worth being respectful to, I can only imagine what you'll get in return.

I don't appreciate the fact that you feel you have a right to come to this forum and insult one of it's contributing members and if you can't be respectful or at the very least, civil then you are free to leave.

If you don't like my response to you....

TOUGH!!

[Leigh]

happyface

Your tax dollars are not a license to be rude.

No one plans to be in need at times.

I surely hope you are never in need as we reap what we sow and if you are choosing to be so cold and callous to those you "think" aren't worth being respectful to, I can only imagine what you'll get in return.

I don't appreciate the fact that you feel you have a right to come to this forum and insult one of it's contributing members and if you can't be respectful or at the very least, respectful then you are free to leave.

If you don't like my response to you....

TOUGH!!

I agree that there are some who take advantage of the system, but MOST people who use assistance have paid plenty into the same system themselves, making them entitled to use it. Thank God that our country has this safety net for families! No one is getting rich on assistance. It NEVER is enough. It takes a lot for a person to admit that they need some help and go through the humiliating process of applying for assistance. I will GLADLY pay taxes into a system that doesn't make people suffer and go cold and hungry when they hit hard times. I pray that I never need it myself, but I feel safer knowing that it is there. Only the ignorant (and the perpetually angry) think that using assistance is the easy way-it's not. I'd much rather that my taxes go to helping people than for the utterly wasteful things that the majority of those taxes go to.

[Laurel]

Oh, and lets not forget that my taxes buys their kids and grand kids MANY MANY toys every Christmas! Here my kids sit with me buying them ONE stupid little thing each. I got my older daughter a plant for Christmas! A PLANT! That's it. I got my 16 year old one little $8.00 trinket of a mother elephant and her baby. I got my older daughter's boyfriend a mug with his favorite football team on it, and I got my younger daughter's boyfriend a t-shirt. That's all I got for anyone...

A plant
An elephant trinket
A mug
and
A t-shirt

That's all I could afford!

However, each year my sister can afford (from our taxes) to buy a boat load of toys for her 5 or 7 or however many grand kids she raises. My niece can afford to buy expensive technology toys for her son. And this year my niece was able to afford to take her family to Florida for Christmas to visit family! No one in their house works, but I work every week day, typically 11 hours per day and sometimes on the weekends. And I can barely afford the minimum to live. And all I can afford is 4 stupid cheap Christmas presents!

Something's wrong with that!

Why don't you report your relatives if they are cheating the system? Just curious really.

I really have no idea about their situation but once you mentioned, I think, that your sister has two children that have drug problems and is also raising a few grandchildren because their parents have drug issues. My son has had drug abuse problems for years and I can't even wrap my mind around having two children so afflicted. It is such chaos and heartbreak. Times 2 might just break me. Then if I'd have had to raise the grandchildren as well? Wow, it is hard for my mind to even go there.

She may very well be cheating the system and, if so, you should report her. I just can't help but feel for her at least a little though. I can't even imagine what she must have to live through everyday. Can she work if she has grandchildren at home or are they all school aged?

Laurel

[Laurel]

happyface

I agree that there are some who take advantage of the system, but MOST people who use assistance have paid plenty into the same system themselves, making them entitled to use it. Thank God that our country has this safety net for families! No one is getting rich on assistance. It NEVER is enough. It takes a lot for a person to admit that they need some help and go through the humiliating process of applying for assistance. I will GLADLY pay taxes into a system that doesn't make people suffer and go cold and hungry when they hit hard times. I pray that I never need it myself, but I feel safer knowing that it is there. Only the ignorant (and the perpetually angry) think that using assistance is the easy way-it's not. I'd much rather that my taxes go to helping people than for the utterly wasteful things that the majority of those taxes go to.

Amen sister!!!

I agree.

Laurel

[permanentvacation]

Guest,

Okay, you need to go. You should take a break from this forum. No one needs you coming on here and attacking them with your hateful comments here.

I agree with Blackcat and Leigh. I have commented about people like my sister and niece who purposely take advantage of the system completely living off the government for years, and not even trying to lift one finger to take care of themselves at all.

When I read your comment, 'If you can't feed them, don't breed them', I gave you the benefit of a doubt and thought you meant for people who already had kids that they couldn't afford to take care of, and purposely kept having more children just to get more assistance from the government. I know people like that and feel that they are living completely wrong. People like that really bother me.

However, after Craftymissbeth explained her situation of having her child while she was able to take care of him then something happened in her life which made her go through tough times and need help, you chastised her. So, now we know that you feel that anyone, no matter what their situation, who is getting help for their family, you have a problem with. Wow! I hope you never lose your job unexpectedly, or your man never starts beating on you or your child, or you or your spouse never have an extreme medical emergency and find yourself in financial difficulties. I'd hate for you to have to lower yourself to needing assistance taking care of your child or yourself.

But, for people like Craftymissbeth and me, who were quite capable of taking care of their children until something drastic happened to flip our worlds upside down and left us struggling and needing help to take care of our kids, we didn't purposely put ourselves in this situation and certainly don't deserve to be attacked by people like you who feel you have the right to criticize us.

I don't know Craftymissbeth's story as to why she fell on hard times. But I've told mine plenty of times. My ex was abusive and after years of me being hit, shoved around, cuss me out, go to strip clubs and then call the stripper after he got home, having him threaten to kill me weekly which made me paranoid to walk away from my drink or have him bring me home something to eat for fear he'd poison it, having my kids watch him do all this to me in front of them, then when my younger daughter was 3 years old, she'd run in front of me to 'protect' me and she'd tell him, 'stop Daddy, you're scaring me.' Just to have him cuss her out and threaten to hit her too. The whole time I'm telling her to just go to her room, 'I'll be okay, I can handle this'.

It took my YEARS of that abuse going on pretty much weekly, sometimes a couple times per week before I got the courage to demand that he either be nice or get out of the house. He got out and our house and for the first time in YEARS, actually safe for us to live in!

From living through his abuse, which I did for so long because I am a Christian woman and was trying to help him through his anger, and staying with him because I really didn't believe in divorce. But, from living through his abuse for so long, I am literally scared to death to let another man into my life, my older daughter has black out spells when she gets too emotionally upset, and my younger daughter has gone through all sorts of anxiety attacks, fear of being alone - I literally used to have to stand outside of the bathroom door when she went to the bathroom or took a shower! We moved from Maryland to Florida for a while just to get away from him and my younger daughter was afraid to ride her bike in the neighborhood for fear he'd show up and go crazy on her. I had to walk with her while she rode her bike! She is 16 now and still has anxiety attacks and is afraid to be in the house by herself after about 10 pm. She has to take sleeping pills just to be able to sleep through the night!

Yeah, I'm broke off my butt without his income. Yep, I need government help to take care of my kids and myself. YES, YOUR TAXES - oh, and by the way, MY TAXES are raising my kids. But, if I hadn't had him leave, my kids and I might have even more emotional/psychological problems than we already have, or one or all of us might be dead by now. So, to save us from the abuse, I did what I had to do and became a single mother. Which actually makes me a GOOD MOTHER even though I am a broke mother who needs help.

So, for you to come on here and get mouthy about someone like me, who is not abusing the system, who had a 'normal life' when they had their child, but then something happened to make them unexpectedly, or out of necessity become a single mother who then needed help to take care of her child makes me livid!

You just need to get off this forum! Good bye, don't let the laptop screen hit your fingers as you close it!

[permanentvacation]

Laurel,

Yes, she could go to work during the day, all the children are supposed to be in school, but of course, she decided it's best if she home-schooled one of them. But he really could, and, in my opinion, should, be in school. I don't feel that she is truly focused on home-schooling him like she should be. She does teach him some, but not like he should be taught. I home-schooled my kids for a while and my other sister home-schooled her one daughter for a while, so know what she should be doing, and she is falling short. But, here, we can also legally unschool our children, so there's really nothing I can do about reporting her. At the end of the year, she will have to prove to the school board that she has taught him enough of the information that he, at his age and grade level, would be expected to have been taught. If she hasn't, he will have to repeat that grade. If she has, he will be advanced to the next grade.

But really, she should put that child in school with the other grand kids and get off her butt and get a job at least from 10-2 while the kids are in school. But she'd rather live completely off of the government.

As far as her kids being involved in drugs. Her kids are grown adults. They are the parents of the grandchildren that my sister has custody of because they can't take care of them. Her son has been in and out of jail most of his life. He's currently serving a 7 year sentence. Her daughter completed some state program to get her off of drugs, but part of the program is that she is now legally given some kind of major drug as her 'medicine'. So, she's just strung out legally now! She's typically laying on the sofa in the house just high as she can be. But it's all legal - that's her medicine!

The courts know everything she's doing. But I don't think she's supposed to have her daughter living with her according to housing. Her daughter used to have her own apartment through the drug program, but once she got off that, she didn't have money to get her own place, so she lives with her mom.

Her other son does drugs on occasion. And a lot of people know him. So, they know that someone who is known to at least, often enough, gets high, goes to her house to visit. He does not live there, but he helps her out with giving her rides to stores, taking the kids places, etc.

I don't think she's really doing too much illegal. I don't think her daughter is supposed to live there, though. But the thing with her is that she draws so much attention to her house by having 3 of her grown kids with their boyfriend/girlfriends, 2 of them are known by the neighborhood to be involved in drugs, the daughter, legally and the son on occasion. God only knows how many grand kids she's raising, honestly, I lost count! They are all ungodly loud. Plus she has the kids' friends over at times. It's just a boatload of people in and out of the house and a couple of them, others know are on drugs, so people talk about her something awful.

I just think that she needs to tone it down a bit. However, I have told this to a couple of people, not that actual authorities, but people who know how the government works regarding people like my sister. They have all told me that the government would not do anything to or about her.

I don't know, I'm just waiting for housing to kick her out for all the chaos she has going on over there. But people tell me they won't. I certainly don't want her to be kicked out. I just think she's skating on thin ice.

[Laurel]

Well it is a complicated situation for sure. Thanks, I was just wondering.

Laurel

[permanentvacation]

Laurel,

You're welcome. Yeah, her household is just a bit too much.

[daycare]

Laurel,

You're welcome. Yeah, her household is just a bit too much.

I see people who take advantage all the time and it just kills me. Just the other day I saw this lady with some very expensive pants and shoes oh and purse. All together about $1500.00 it all looked very very new. But she was paying for with food stamps and arguing about her bill. I know its not fair of me to think that way, for all I know it could have been a gift, but this is where I guess I differ than most people that I would have sold those things on ebay and saved that money for emergency or months I was short on cash instead of keeping it. Also for all Iknow maybe her husband or domestic partner just passed and it was her only way to make things work without selling everything she has.

It just looks bad........ If everyone would truly use it as it was to be used we could really help out those that really needed it by helping them further their education so they could get a better paying job and move on so that they can pay back into it to help the next person in line.

If only we could resolve word peace....................

[permanentvacation]

Yeah, I've sold everything I can. I kind of had to when my ex-husband moved us from a 3 bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment! We didn't have any space for most of our stuff anyway! If we don't use it daily, it has been sold. Well, other than our off season clothes. But I did sell plenty of our clothes and took us down to the clothes that we truly wear. We've been back into a 3 bedroom home for years now, but I still didn't buy a bunch of stuff. We don't even have living room furniture or a real bedroom set.

I try not to get too bothered by people who's story I don't know. Because, like you said, you don't know if the item was a gift, or maybe the only nice thing they own, or if the nice car they are driving that day is a friend's who let them borrow it. But I know a good bit of people's complete stories that are using the mess out of the system and since I know for a fact that they are, I can't stand them.

The one thing that kills me even though I don't know their story is that almost every woman in DSS on welfare is wearing fake nails! They spend their money on a full set of nails and fill-ins weekly! And here I sit trimming my own bangs and putting my hair up in ponytails every day because it's so long it drives me nuts, but I don't have the money to get it cut. And I certainly don't have fake nails!

[daycare]

Yeah, I've sold everything I can. I kind of had to when my ex-husband moved us from a 3 bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment! We didn't have any space for most of our stuff anyway! If we don't use it daily, it has been sold. Well, other than our off season clothes. But I did sell plenty of our clothes and took us down to the clothes that we truly wear. We've been back into a 3 bedroom home for years now, but I still didn't buy a bunch of stuff. We don't even have living room furniture or a real bedroom set.

I try not to get too bothered by people who's story I don't know. Because, like you said, you don't know if the item was a gift, or maybe the only nice thing they own, or if the nice car they are driving that day is a friend's who let them borrow it. But I know a good bit of people's complete stories that are using the mess out of the system and since I know for a fact that they are, I can't stand them.

The one thing that kills me even though I don't know their story is that almost every woman in DSS on welfare is wearing fake nails! They spend their money on a full set of nails and fill-ins weekly! And here I sit trimming my own bangs and putting my hair up in ponytails every day because it's so long it drives me nuts, but I don't have the money to get it cut. And I certainly don't have fake nails!

fake nails must be a nation wide thing and must be a HUGE ego booster...

I had one dcm years ago who was always struggle with paying me. always going to get a pay day loan...but she had the best looking nails I have ever seen...

I love to get my nails painted....by my 16 year old daughter who does it for free...

[permanentvacation]

"I love to get my nails painted....by my 16 year old daughter who does it for free..."

LOL!!

I think it is universal for them to get their nails done. If you want to see a room full of good looking nails, go to Social Services!

[Unregistered]

off topic - but free hair cuts

If your hair is really long some places will cut it for free if you donate your hair. It's usually the chain places. Call around and see if any of your local places participate in that program.

[permanentvacation]

It's not that long. It's just past my shoulders. But I like my hair in an undercut just above my shoulders. It's about 3 inches too long for me. Just enough that it irritates me.