Help with parent

[daycarediva]

You need to be on top of it and call licensing and terminate before this mom calls and terminates. To not report it, makes you look guilty. We are ALWAYS liable for what happens with children in our care, but to be accused of neglect is serious. I would take it as such and treat it as such. Pictures, and I email with my licensar (registrar) so she would be getting a picture attachment and a brief/facts only statement of events. I like what playcare said. If your registrar has a photo in hand, and a statement from you when this Mom calls, it is going to go MUCH better for you than not reporting it at all.

In my experience, the registrars are good at weeding out these types of disgruntled parent calls and it will only help you to have already notified licensing and let them go (no trust, no care as I said before).

IS there validity to what she says about you on the ipad or the kids hurting each other?

[Play Care]

Does it hurt me to say I don't know what happened ? Between us I really do not know I didn't see anything!

I wouldn't lie- but my thought is that you've been doing this long enough to know what a bite mark looks like and how a child who has been bitten would react. So I'd not put the focus on the fact you didnt see the child get bitten, but that you know the child wasn't bitten, KWIM?

That said, are you on the iPad when mom has dropped off and picked up? Has she seen kids fighting in your care? If you have no idea where this is coming from (or believe she is exaggerating) it could be because she needed day care today and wanted you to feel afraid to keep the child, so she could pull tonight when she gets off work. But only you know the truth.

[hope]

Can someone explain how am I liable if she accused me of neglect..i don't mean to sound ignorant I just can't understand how a mom could accuse me of not watching the kids and then leaving for work and refusing to take her home. How does that make me liable? I understand the risk of her getting hurt again obviously. Truthfully I am not letting her off the couch I'm so afraid of an injury. I just hate drama and am trying to stay cool especially since she is leaving soon. I hate to make it worse!!! Ugh.

The liability comes when she decides that you have been neglectful again. She has proven that she can and will say anything. A parent that makes up stories once will do it again. Next time she may say you sexually abused her child. Who knows.

[Leigh]

Be proactive. Call you licensor and let her know that you are giving a family notice and she might get a call. Don't be dramatic if she asks why, stick to the facts. "DCG had a mark on her arm that looked like a rash, called parents immediately to let them know. Parent came in this morning saying it was a bite mark and that I'm neglectful. She then dropped her child off with me. It was NOT a bite mark." By making it clear mom left the child in your care despite the fact she claims you were neglectful benefits you. No loving parent is going to leave a child with some one they believe is abusing their child or allowing their child to be abused, even if they "have" to work. and be firm in that you know it wasn't a bite - because in your heart you do. Don't be washy washy on this point - or give the impression that you are not sure, etc. they will jump on that. But if you can say with certainty (and I think you can) that it was NOT a bite, you're in a better postion.
Give mom notice of immediate termination as soon as she picks up. I'd be out the door with her child and the childs things as she pulls up so she's not even in your house.

No way should you let someone like that back in the door. I'd have never let her leave her child this morning. Also mention to your licensor the lack of supervision that you were accused of, stressing that this child is first in, last out, and that everything the mom accused you of is untrue and impossible.

[Leigh]

Does it hurt me to say I don't know what happened ? Between us I really do not know I didn't see anything!

How could you know how a rash happened? If you feel it's a rash, it probably is just that. You have tons more experience than this mother.

[Leigh]

no it doesn't hurt you. For all you know it could have happened at home and they are blaming you. You saw a rash and notified them. You did your job. I have had this same thing happen to me. You can be sitting in a room with kids and changing a diaper, or tending to another child and while looking away it can happen in a second. It happens.

It DOES happen a lot that an injury happens at home, and the parents try to shift the blame, especially if the injury was intentional.

Honestly, if she truly believed you to be neglectful and left her child in your care, SHE is also guilty of neglect for leaving her child in an unsafe environment.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I have had a DCD one time ask about a mark on DCG, and insinuate that I wasn't watching closely enough and that was how it happened (it was funny, too, because the mark was a concrete scratch on her back that happened on a Sunday at home, that DCM pointed out to me on Monday morning, and DCD was asking about Tuesday morning. Um, yeah, talk to your wife, Bozo).

I bristled right then and there. I told him that from this point forward I would be checking both children over top to bottom at drop off and pick up and keeping a journal of any and all "marks" on them until I felt that mutual trust had been reestablished. I did, for probably a month and a half, and they were with me for almost another 2 years.

My point is, it could turn out to be nothing. Idt sometimes other people realize how awful and potentially damaging it is to say a dc provider isn't paying enough attention, turning her back, not having 8 independently moving eyes in her head to keep one on every single child, every single second...

I would probably try to ride it out, too, if it's only 2 more days, in hopes of not rocking the boat anymore with a term. But believe me, I would be documenting like crazy. And I would report to my licensor exactly what Play Care said.

[MOM OF 4]

I'm afraid to make it worse. if I term her she will report me I assume. I have nothing to hide but seriously I do t want to go through it! The licensors always take parents sides. I don't feel as if they are here for providers at all. I'm hoping she calms down and she is leaving anyways in 2 days. Bad idea to wait it out do you think?

1. Call licensing
2. DOCUMENT everything
3. Term and do NOT take the kid tomorrow.
4. If mom comes back to you with something stupid like her previous comments, then you ignore and tell her good bye.
5. SHE is neglectful if she is leaving her child in a child care she truly believes is unsafe. I hope SHE gets into trouble when she tries to tell licensing how horrible you are and you can prove she dropped the kid off IN SPITE of that thought.

[Unregistered]

I hesitate to call licensing because..I have been in business for 27 years and in that time I had one incident. I will never forget! A infant had a bloody nose. It was extreme I panicked I called 911 and went with the infant in the ambulance I left my assistant back to call all other parents ..everything turned out to be fine.. She was diagnosed with a cold and dry heat caused the bloody nose... Her parents were grateful I called and even sent me a fruit basket... The next day dss and my licensor came in. I still thought everything was fine and even felt proud of how I handled the situation...they didn't believe me thought I might have hurt the child. I will never forget my horror.. I cried and shook truly I was mortified. It turned out fine... Doctors said it was dry air and a nose bleed. Parents were grateful. Other parents were called by dss and gave great references. But I will never forget... I don't feel anyone is for the provider. When someone calls our agencies to you really feel protected?

[MOM OF 4 LOGGED OUT]

I hesitate to call licensing because..I have been in business for 27 years and in that time I had one incident. I will never forget! A infant had a bloody nose. It was extreme I panicked I called 911 and went with the infant in the ambulance I left my assistant back to call all other parents ..everything turned out to be fine.. She was diagnosed with a cold and dry heat caused the bloody nose... Her parents were grateful I called and even sent me a fruit basket... The next day dss and my licensor came in. I still thought everything was fine and even felt proud of how I handled the situation...they didn't believe me thought I might have hurt the child. I will never forget my horror.. I cried and shook truly I was mortified. It turned out fine... Doctors said it was dry air and a nose bleed. Parents were grateful. Other parents were called by dss and gave great references. But I will never forget... I don't feel anyone is for the provider. When someone calls our agencies to you really feel protected?

1. You'll have an incident EITHER way. Keep her, you're bound to give her more ideas to make up. Let her go, she'll make stuff up anyway. Either way, you're SOL so you may as well be the one to do the first call

[Unregistered]

So my parent showed up at the end of the day. Dropped my check off.gave me a dirty look and took child and left..she didn't show up today...thank god she is gone!! Now I just wait to see if she files a complaint...so ridiculous..I've been so stressed..

[Laurel]

I don't see how her claim of neglect would have any standing in a court of law. What judge in their right mind wouldn't ask the parent "Well if you thought this provider was neglectful why did your family use her services for 7 years?" Give me a break!

Laurel

[Suzy]

Not to mention...I told her to please leave if you feel this way and she said NO!!!! I have to get to work..and kept her here all day..unbelieveable.

[Laurel]

Not to mention...I told her to please leave if you feel this way and she said NO!!!! I have to get to work..and kept her here all day..unbelieveable.

Has she always been strange? If not, maybe she is going through some personal crisis. I've seen people do uncharacteristic things when they are going through a divorce or some other crisis. Likely it has nothing to do with you at all.

Laurel

[Suzy]

She never treated me well and I always bent over backwards. She always treated me like she was the boss. I allowed it so shame on me 😒 I will be wiser next time.