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I have a child who got hurt yesterday. Her family has been iin my daycare for 7 years between two children. At first I thought it as a rash of some sort . I called the parent up to let her know. When the dcd came he said it was a bite!!! I have had bitters before and they always leave teeth marks. There is redness and some swelling but no teeth marks. The mom came in today saying it was definitely a bite and that I'm neglectful and that the child must have been screaming. I honestly have no idea what happened. I was here as always the whole time. She cries a lot anyways so I'm sure she did when it happened but nothing earth shattering. I told her mom if she thought I was neglectful to please not leave her here and take her home. She said I pay you for your services and I wish I didn't have to but I have to get to work. She is leaving in a few days for preschool anyways. Now I'm sitting here not sure what to do?? Is it possible to be bitten without leaving teeth marks if the area is red and swollen. Also she says another child did bite her but she might be being told that by her mom. I'm so distraught any suggestions?
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If the mom finds you to be neglectful amd still leaves her child with you it is a HUGE liability. Please call her for pick up. This is your business, you call the shots. She can not say if her child stays or not. -
But
But if she really thought she was in danger why would she leave her here!!!! Wouldn't that show that she doesn't believe that? Wouldn't it be obviousComment
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No teeth marks or indentation, no proof of a bite, imho. It's a serious accusation that you're neglectful and I wouldn't want to continue care. She could have fallen, hit it on something, but redness and swelling are uncommon without MARKS from TEETH. I've seen various degrees of bites, and the ones that leave marks always leave teeth marks.
Take a photo for your records. Have a measuring tape near the area. Date it and write up a report. I would also contact your registrar and document everything Mom/dad said.
I would be terming immediately. Trust is the foundation of this business. No trust, no care.Comment
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I'm afraid
I'm afraid to make it worse. if I term her she will report me I assume. I have nothing to hide but seriously I do t want to go through it! The licensors always take parents sides. I don't feel as if they are here for providers at all. I'm hoping she calms down and she is leaving anyways in 2 days. Bad idea to wait it out do you think?Comment
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Honestly
I have been in business for decades and have seen many bites. Always with teeth marks and usually in a circle. I have no idea what could have happened. This is why I thought it was a reactionComment
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She said she picks up many times and sees the children hurting each other. She says she has seen me on my iPad and with my back turned. She believes I made up the story about a rash to cover up the incident. I truly saw nothing! She says if I was just honest she wouldn't be so angry if I had thought it was an injury I could have just said a toy was thrown or she bumped into a door etc. I thougt it was a reaction on the skin of some sort. She is the first one here so there are never kids when she comes and one of the absolute last to leave so I have no idea what she is talking about. I don't want the situation to escalate. My gut says keep her and she will be gone soon! If I term it will escalate the situationComment
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I would document. Take the pics as mentioned. Write the dates, times, convos. Then if you feel comfortable then ride it out as long as she isnt attacking. Lets be honest, who leaves their child with someone for 7 yrs thinking they are neglectful! That makes no sense. Did she sign an accident report?Comment
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How do you know that she won't file a complaint against you when she no longer needs care? She is bullying you. If she is gonna file a complaint, she will do it regardless if you term. Take a picture of it. Write up a complaint. Call your rep and give them a heads up, and call for pick up ASAP. If she is saying your neglectful you are liable. What happens if something else happens between now and when she goes to preschool? If you call your rep, you are one step ahead of her and as long as you follow protocol, she can file claim after claim and there is nothing she can do. That child needs to go now.Comment
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Be proactive. Call you licensor and let her know that you are giving a family notice and she might get a call. Don't be dramatic if she asks why, stick to the facts. "DCG had a mark on her arm that looked like a rash, called parents immediately to let them know. Parent came in this morning saying it was a bite mark and that I'm neglectful. She then dropped her child off with me. It was NOT a bite mark." By making it clear mom left the child in your care despite the fact she claims you were neglectful benefits you. No loving parent is going to leave a child with some one they believe is abusing their child or allowing their child to be abused, even if they "have" to work.
and be firm in that you know it wasn't a bite - because in your heart you do. Don't be washy washy on this point - or give the impression that you are not sure, etc. they will jump on that. But if you can say with certainty (and I think you can) that it was NOT a bite, you're in a better postion.
Give mom notice of immediate termination as soon as she picks up. I'd be out the door with her child and the childs things as she pulls up so she's not even in your house.Comment
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Does it hurt me to say I don't know what happened ? Between us I really do not know I didn't see anything!Comment
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Can someone explain how am I liable if she accused me of neglect..i don't mean to sound ignorant I just can't understand how a mom could accuse me of not watching the kids and then leaving for work and refusing to take her home. How does that make me liable? I understand the risk of her getting hurt again obviously. Truthfully I am not letting her off the couch I'm so afraid of an injury. I just hate drama and am trying to stay cool especially since she is leaving soon. I hate to make it worse!!! Ugh.Comment
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no it doesn't hurt you. For all you know it could have happened at home and they are blaming you. You saw a rash and notified them. You did your job. I have had this same thing happen to me. You can be sitting in a room with kids and changing a diaper, or tending to another child and while looking away it can happen in a second. It happens.Comment
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You know, this mom has a lot of nerve. 7 years and she is doubting you?!!! Is something else going on here? Is she looking for a reason to get you in trouble, get out of paying? I agree with the others, if she doesn't feel her kid is safe, she needs to never return. This woman really sounds like she is lying about something. I wouldn't want to give her a chance to make something up- anything can happen in two days! Definitely speak to your licensor and yes, sometimes things happen that we didn't see- we are only human!Comment
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