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My 3 month old Dcb cries constantly. He has been with me for over a month and is one of the most adorable little boys I have ever seen. His mom drops him off in the morning and he is full of smiles, I hold him and kiss him, I then put him in a swing to greet my other children, take puppy potty, potty myself, or make breakfast. He is fine for 3-5 minutes then he screams. He will not stop until I pick him up. He has no head support. Can not open his legs to hold on my hip and is over 20 pounds. He is happy being held, IF he is held a certain way, he needs to be able to see everything around him, You can not hold him facing your body or like a baby, doing this at his weight not on my hip gets intensive, then I set him down for tummy time, fine for two minutes, then screams. All he does is cry, his cry turns into a scream. I am small and can not physically handle holding that much dead weight alllll day long not to mention I have meals and housework I have to accomplish as well. How do you handle this and why is he like this anyway?
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He is a healthy baby, not teething, has had gas drops and Tylenol, food, nap, all the necessities and still not happy for more than a few minutes -
I'm guessing he is held all the time at home. He's fine if you're holding him or paying direct attention to him, other than that just cries. I have 2 of those right now. Another clue is not holding his head and not wanting tummy time.
I suggest making sure he gets his tummy time to strengthen his muscles. He'll start getting stronger and holding himself up better. He isn't going to like it, but be sure to do it. A few minutes at first, then gradually increase the time.
As far as him wanting to be held, you'll have to talk to the parents about that and let them know that although you understand that they want to hold and love their baby as much as they can, it's setting him up for failure at daycare since you CAN NOT do the same, being one person with however many dcksComment
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Parents said that if a baby is crying then something is wrong and child must be picked up, does this sound a little unrealistic?Comment
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Yes. If he is not hungry, doesn't need to be changed and isn't hurt or in pain then he does not NEED to be held. I'm not saying don't hold him at all, give him some cuddle time. But yes, they are unrealistic to think you will hold him every time he cries. From the way it sounds he is crying BECAUSE he is held at every whimper and has become accustomed to that.Comment
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yes.
You are going to see this over and over here (welcome, btw). Here it is:
THEY ARE PAYING FOR GROUP CHILD CARE.
Yes, it's true, their child is not your only job. You have other children, cleaning, preparing meals, etc. That cannot all be done holding ONE child.
STOP feeling guilty about this!
After you've made peace with that, you can suggest they either work with you on getting him trained to play independently for short periods, or they might consider hiring a nanny, who can provide the ONE-on-ONE service they are looking for (at a steep price).Comment
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NO, while this may be true some time, it is NOT the norm....I have an 8 month old that cries if I move....she will play all day if I sit there but when I move
She is much better...I got her at 6 weeks...I had a conference with mom at about 3 months old and told her how she cried if I moved and she also cries while she sleeps if you do not touch her....she was nursing on her mom all night as a pacifier....after the conference mom saw how serious I was and how she was going to lose daycare....mom started putting child in her own bed and NOT getting up on her every whine...Mondays are still a little rough, but the child is adjusting much better since mom is working with me...I also told mom at conference how unhealthy it was for this child as she was NOT learning any self-soothing techniques because mom did everything for her cause she didn't want her to cry....the mom, at first, did NOT like the thought of her crying here, but I explained how I play with her, move her around allowing her to interact with others, how I provided play time for her and then told her how it is unfair to other kids for this child to DICTATE my day....so when she realized I WOULD let her cry, she didn't want that so she started working on it....By the way, I have been in business 22 plus years and this is much easier now, but I used to would NOT have been so firm with a parent...NOW, I realize, I need my sanity and something has to give! :
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He does get plenty of attention here, a few days ago his dad was telling me how much him and his wife appreciate what I do and told me of the daycare facilities he had visited before me and how bad they felt for the babies there who were crying because they had one infant teacher per four infants and that one person can not hold four babies all at once. I smiled but inside my head I was thinking" ohhh boy, you have no idea I let him cry a little bit" I did feel guilty, until this forum:hug:Comment
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I would explain to the parents that there are ways to soothe an infant that do NOT involve holding him. I would recommend that they give baby LOTS of floor time and that they can get down on the floor with him, but to avoid holding him for every.single.sound he makes. Explain to them how miserable he will be not only at your daycare, but at any other, because it is not possible to hold him all day. I LOVE holding my babies here, but I do it when I CAN, not all day. They're OK with it, too. I love enrolling babies before they are born, because it gives me the chance to educate parents BEFORE starting care as to how things work in group care and what to expect. It gives them a chance to work with their children during maternity leave to prep them for group care. When they understand what will happen at daycare, they usually will make an effort to try to prepare them somewhat.
I can't blame a parent for wanting to hold their child all day-I would love it, too! It just isn't doing the baby any favors when they do it, and if they understand that, it can all work out.Comment
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yes.
You are going to see this over and over here (welcome, btw). Here it is:
THEY ARE PAYING FOR GROUP CHILD CARE.
Yes, it's true, their child is not your only job. You have other children, cleaning, preparing meals, etc. That cannot all be done holding ONE child.
STOP feeling guilty about this!
After you've made peace with that, you can suggest they either work with you on getting him trained to play independently for short periods, or they might consider hiring a nanny, who can provide the ONE-on-ONE service they are looking for (at a steep price).
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Im gonna cry! Today has been awful, his screams sound like a wild tiger attacking a zebra.
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Heidi you always saying right thing...I had this dkb while ago,she's was sweet,cute,lovely at beginning,but after couple week's she's starting,no nap unless begin held,no crying unless begin held...with 2 more infants imagine they wasn't getting their nap and I was getting realllllllly tired.I tried for over a month and I just couldn't stay with her anymore...she's was screaming so loud,they could hear from the street...and when I pick her uo she's just stopped and smile...no tears. ......I termed best thing I ever did...Sorry I do my best,but I am not nanny
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