Assistant with Nursing Toddler
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I bet you're able to work in another daycare setting. I really don't think you need a CDA or certification to be an assistant, maybe to be a lead teacher.
I'd go elsewhere. The situation isn't working for either of you.
FYI, I nursed my son to sleep until he was 20 months old. I had my own daycare then. I put the other kids to bed and then nursed him to sleep. Worked great for me, but it was my own program so I got to decide, and when it comes down to it, she is in charge.- Flag
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A good friend of mine comes over from time to time to "help" me at the daycare as a volunteer, and she brings her child. I can tell you that it is difficult when she is tending to her own child for her to be of any help to me. The issue would be compounded by her breast feeding- taking time to just be with her child, while I am doing the work. Her help is free, and irregular, so I wouldn't complain, BUT if I was paying her to help me, I would have a major issue with her taking time with her child when I have a group to tend to. Agree with Craftymom- it's going to be hard to find a position where you can bring your child and breastfeed as you are doing now. You may have to adjust your feedings to breaks only, if you want to continue these feeds.- Flag
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See that's where I think the miscommunication is coming from. She is paying you less than minimum wage and expects you to work like she's paying you 15 dollars an hour. That's why I think you should get a list of her expectations. You will probably be shocked at what she thinks you should be doing for that pay.- Flag
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See that's where I think the miscommunication is coming from. She is paying you less than minimum wage and expects you to work like she's paying you 15 dollars an hour. That's why I think you should get a list of her expectations. You will probably be shocked at what she thinks you should be doing for that pay.- Flag
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Another question is how often is that "once in a while if she really needed a moment of comfort". Is this everyday? Or a few times a month? Would it mean dropping everything to go have a moment alone with her?... would other methods of comfort be attempted, and would she possibly need to wait depending on what was going on.
I nursed my own children mostly 'on demand' while I was doing childcare... but they would sometimes need to wait a little while depending on what was going on. (and because it's my own program, I still was able to watch the other children while discreetly nursing).
"but she still spends a few minutes on each kid to get them settled or asleep"... so she is putting the other 4 children to sleep? What are you doing during this time?
While you may not realize it the transition to nap time can be hectic. Toddlers notice when one of their classmates are not laying down, and this can be a disruption. Taking a few minutes one on one to comfort each child all in the same room is different then taking them off into another room to give one on one time.
You need to be asking her "what can I do to help"
maybe trying a new schedule.... maybe taking an unpaid break (or one of your legally required paid breaks) shortly before naptime to nurse and then laying her down with the other children. You can then also help with the other children while they are going down... and possibly stay in the room while they drift off to sleep, so that the owner can take care of other things.
Good luck! I hope that you can figure out something that works for both of you.- Flag
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I personally wouldn't allow on the clock breast feeding for an employees kid. I wouldn't take an on demand comfort feeder either. I have a lot of breastfeeding kids and none of them need to be fed to go to sleep.
My guess is that she is seeing you spending too much time in general with your kid to make it worth it. She's on a learning curve too and it's probably just not working out to have your kid there. Just tell her it isn't working out and give her notice.
How old is your child?- Flag
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Just something to be aware of.
I'm not sure what state you are in, but she probably doesn't legally need an assistant with only 4 children (she probably hired you planning on trying to get more clients) ... and I would not be able to afford paying an assistant minimum wage with only 4 paying spots. I think the rule of thumb here is that it takes 3 paying spots to pay for one low wage assistant (doing everything right). I'm not sure what she's paying you (or what the childcare rates are in your area), but it's possible that she is making less money then you, especially when you consider the extra costs involved in running a childcare out of your home. She sounds like she is stressed out, and I'm sure the financial situation isn't making it better.
I know you feel like you are doing everything the way she wants it. From her perspective, she probably feels like she is letting you do everything the way you want it, and doing you a favor by letting you work for her, and bring your daughter. The real answer is probably somewhere in between.
Big Hugs! :hug:- Flag
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I think she is trying to get you to quit because with only 4 kids she doesn't really need an assistant. If I were you I would look for another job. I have NO IDEA how she is affording you in the first place.- Flag
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Ok couple quick points; I don't get any official breaks, we both just take a "break" if we can while they're sleeping.
She doesn't get them all to sleep, I do it sometimes and she does it sometimes, but they all get a few minutes of help; sometimes multiple times if they won't stay asleep. My kid is the only one causing anyone any resentment.
I'm sure I'm spending some specific one-on-one time with her from time to time throughout the day, definitely a little more than the others, but they all get some personal time too either from me or the owner.
I'm not GUESSING that she's anti extended breastfeeding; she's very clearly stated that she is. It's non-beneficial, and I"m allowing my toddler to control me. She has 3 grown, adopted kids, and they were all magic-sleeping-babies, and she never had to do any training or anything, so she just doesn't get that there are multiple, legitimate ways of doing things
I'm in Ann Arbor, MI, and the only looking for jobs I've done has been on craigslist, and all listings for assistants require education I don't have.
OH! Update... I've been telling her for months that I'd be willing to have her try and put my daughter down, as I know she'd go down with a little effort by someone else, but she's always sort of weakly said she was willing but never followed through. After yesterdays argument, I told her I'd start trying to put her down in a pack and play in the play room after everyone else has gone down. I got all her toys and blankets, nursed her for a minute, put her down and said "night night", and she hung out, talked and played, whined some, and after a while another part-time assistant went down and patted her back and she went right to sleep!
So I'm optimistic, but this means that the owner is going to have to do that part for the next few days to make it stick, and I just don't know if I can count on that. She hasn't sounded super stoked to do it, so....
Anyway, I'll keep looking for other work, but I just wanted to clarify that I'm not just disappearing while she's paying me and working her ass off. I always wait until she has either nothing to do or is just watching the baby, and I ALWAYS make sure she gets a break- Flag
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Also, she needs an assistant because she's 50 something and has a teenage daughter at home and a very busy life and decided to be open from 7am-6pm... and realized she can't handle all of it. Reasonably enough. I would have never gotten myself in that situation!- Flag
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The kids go down mostly in different rooms; there are two boys who do ok as long as they go into the room when the other is asleep, so we get one down and either he's asleep when we put him down or we wait until he is to put the other in, and they generally do ok (one of them is a really difficult case though, possible sensory issues, not sure, and he's been a real handful in almost every way) and the baby obviously is a wild card... but a general good sleeper when he's asleep. Well, as long as it's in the swing these days... but whatever, he's a baby
So it's not a big room of toddlers distracting each other. Usually, she takes one of the boys up while I watch everyone else, then maybe she takes the next up when it's all clear, and I watch the others. Then I put the oldest toddler to bed with his toy and water and he does fine, then I go nurse my daughter while the owner either deals with the baby or not, depending on whether he's sleeping or not. Usually he is, but if not it's just a little hanging out until I'm done. When I'm done, I go tell her to take a break and I'll be available for when everyone wakes up. If they're all asleep, I make sure everything's tidy, and maybe, MAYBE I read a book while eating or something, then I gradually take care of everyone while they get up until it's clear she needs to come down from her bedroom and help out. Obviously it's not always that cut and dry, so sometimes they all sleep/wakeup in staggered, annoying ways so nobody gets much of a break. Just trying to give an idea of how things are, in case it clears things up at all...- Flag
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The kids go down mostly in different rooms; there are two boys who do ok as long as they go into the room when the other is asleep, so we get one down and either he's asleep when we put him down or we wait until he is to put the other in, and they generally do ok (one of them is a really difficult case though, possible sensory issues, not sure, and he's been a real handful in almost every way) and the baby obviously is a wild card... but a general good sleeper when he's asleep. Well, as long as it's in the swing these days... but whatever, he's a baby
So it's not a big room of toddlers distracting each other. Usually, she takes one of the boys up while I watch everyone else, then maybe she takes the next up when it's all clear, and I watch the others. Then I put the oldest toddler to bed with his toy and water and he does fine, then I go nurse my daughter while the owner either deals with the baby or not, depending on whether he's sleeping or not. Usually he is, but if not it's just a little hanging out until I'm done. When I'm done, I go tell her to take a break and I'll be available for when everyone wakes up. If they're all asleep, I make sure everything's tidy, and maybe, MAYBE I read a book while eating or something, then I gradually take care of everyone while they get up until it's clear she needs to come down from her bedroom and help out. Obviously it's not always that cut and dry, so sometimes they all sleep/wakeup in staggered, annoying ways so nobody gets much of a break. Just trying to give an idea of how things are, in case it clears things up at all...
I also don't understand how this daycare owner can afford 2 assistants with only 4 kids enrolled?- Flag
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