I Did This To Myself, Now What!?

[AuntTami]

I had a friend tell me that his brother was looking for daycare about a month ago, very shortly after I started my daycare. When I started, I picked an arbitrary number out of thin air for my fees, and have since done some digging and have found out that I was very low on the fee scale. I was charging 120/wk for under 3's and 100/wk for over 3's.

Since that discussion, I've decided to raise my rates closer to the average in the area,which is about 160/wk. the center near my house charges $235/wk, so I was definitely under charging. When I told my friend the price, it was on the basis that this child was over 3(so I assumed potty trained since that's my whole point of charging less for over 3's- no diapers)

A month goes by, and I haven't heard from the brother and I'm starting to get desperate as we're struggling to make our ends meet based on only having one dck. So I finally get a text from dcd on Sunday asking if dcg can start on Monday. I tell him since his brother is a good friend, that would be fine, but that I would go over the contract with him and all information on first pick up.

He agreed.

Here's what I've discovered about dcg in the two days that I've had her. I'm rather inexperienced so any help would be greatly appreciated.
She's actually 2 1/2, not 3, and therefore dcd should at least be paying the $120/wk not $100/wk. however, I've raised my rates between the time i quoted my friend and the time dad called for daycare. What should I do about that?

She is NOT potty trained. No where near it in fact. She won't even attempt to use the potty.

Also, this kid doesn't eat. She's a JUNK FOOD BABY all the way. Yesterday we had ham, mashed potatoes, corn, and fruit for lunch. She ate the corn but that was it. Dad said she doesn't eat meat unless it's chicken nuggets or similar and I do not serve that stuff here. I make a real, homemade meal each afternoon for lunch since my BF leaves for his job at 2pm. I like to make sure he's fed before he goes, and it benefits dck's too. She refused to eat yesterday so she was sent to go lay down for nap time which follows lunchtime... Today she shows up with a cut up chicken tender and a cup of applesauce... I'm not comfortable feeding her this but I can't starve her!

She's an only child, and is rather mean to the 14 mo old dcb I have. He's been here since before her, and is a GREAT kid with great parents, and I definitely don't want to lose him over this. DCB's mom comes in to play with him for a few minutes at drop off and we chat about the day and how everything has been. While she was here yesterday, she witnessed DCG stealing toys and mouthing off to DCB. She didn't say anything but I could see in her face she was less than impressed even though I corrected DCG immediately.

Also, I was under the impression that she would be full time every week.. Dad informed me yesterday that he has to go to court on Friday for custody arrangements and it may end up only being every other week! This isn't ideal for me, and even worse, the days are SO long now. She arrived at 5:45 this morning, and DCB leaves at 10:30PM!

It's been two days and I'm already exhausted beyond belief. I already want to take a nap TOMORROW! Lol.

I haven't had dad sign a contract yet, as I'm waiting for the court thing on Friday and I wanted to see what you guys suggest I do. If he's going to keep her, he's definitely going to need to sign the contract, but my contract states that my rate is $150 a week now for children her age, and my hours are 7am-6om, which Obviously is after 5:30 drop off that he needs and is much more than he was originally quoted..... What would you do!?

[NightOwl]

Ewww. You went over the contract with him at drop off Monday morning? So he's aware of your higher rates and hours?

[AuntTami]

I didnt. I was going to monday but he ran off too quickly at pick up and then when he told me that he's going back to court for custody arrangements I decided to hold off. I didn't want him to sign the contract yet if it's only going to be every other week as that isn't going to work for me. I need full time kiddos which is what I originally thought she would be or I NEVER would have agreed.

[hope]

So the dcb that you have been watching has a 10:30 pm pick up? I'm confused. If that is the case then any child you take will make your day long.
My advice to you is set a time to sit with dad to go over everything. Tell him your hours and your fees. If it's every other week and you only have one extra other kid I would tell him you can do this until it doesn't work for you any more. Meaning, until you fill the spot. Have a 2 week or one month probation period so you can see if dcg conforms. Talk with dad about your rules so he can be on board with dcg's behavior. I wouldn't worry so much about her eating or behavior as she will learn that there is a proper way to act at your house. Good luck!

[AuntTami]

DCB has a 10:30pm pick up time yes, for now. His mom is going to first shift as of oct 27 so his late pick up is temporary. I knew my days would be long anyways, but I set my hours at 7am-6pm... That extra hour in the morning is the difference between me having "morning time" to wake up and not and I need my morning time . I knew my days would be longer than average because of DCB for now but he's a joy to have around so after 5 when it's just him and I, it hardly feels like working. I just enjoy having him here. I just wasn't expecting to be waking up at 5:00am when I took on DCB. Lol. It won't even matter after he goes to first shift, because he will be here at 6:30 so I'll be awake anyways, but for now, man it's early!

[Cradle2crayons]

DCB has a 10:30pm pick up time yes, for now. His mom is going to first shift as of oct 27 so his late pick up is temporary. I knew my days would be long anyways, but I set my hours at 7am-6pm... That extra hour in the morning is the difference between me having "morning time" to wake up and not and I need my morning time . I knew my days would be longer than average because of DCB for now but he's a joy to have around so after 5 when it's just him and I, it hardly feels like working. I just enjoy having him here. I just wasn't expecting to be waking up at 5:00am when I took on DCB. Lol. It won't even matter after he goes to first shift, because he will be here at 6:30 so I'll be awake anyways, but for now, man it's early!

I just noticed something. Sooooo you haven't asked for payment for this week??

Is your plan suddenly on Friday to assume they will pay you???

[NeedaVaca]

I had a Dcg go to her dad's every other week, I get paid 52 weeks per year regardless. I suggest you do that and go over the contract asap.

[NightOwl]

Agreed. You need an immediate sit down with him. He may be very surprised, but it's partially his fault too for running out so quickly Monday morning.

Dcd, some things have changed since we spoke a month ago and I was going to cover these things with you Monday morning, but you had to run. As I am new at this and just finding my footing, I found that the average rate in our area is XX. I know I quoted you XX, but that was before I had this new info. So my rate is XX weekly and my hours are this to this time. Will that work for you? (if he says no or tries to negotiate) I'm so sorry! I was really hoping this would work out! Good luck and I wish you the best. (if he says yes) Awesome! Now, the spot is for full time care. So if you have her every other week, will she be attending the second week with mom paying the tuition? Or will you be paying to hold the spot without attendance? (smile, nod, smile, etc).

YOU ARE WORTH EVERY PENNY. Don't let him haggle you down on money or extend your hours to accommodate him. It's not negotiable.
I know you're trying to build enrollment, but I see so many on this forum who have said "I was just starting out and agreed to this, but now it's not working....". And you're going to drive yourself into the ground working 17 hours per day. That's just nuts.

[AuntTami]

I just noticed something. Sooooo you haven't asked for payment for this week??

Is your plan suddenly on Friday to assume they will pay you???

I guess I assumed that since he was the brother of a good friend, I wouldn't have to worry about him not. Guess that was my first mistake. But that's typically how I do it with all my families. I give them the weekly invoice, which includes any overtime, on Thursday at pick up, and they pay on Friday at drop off for that week.

Having him pay every week is actually a good idea. It does state in my contract that I get paid regardless of attendance, so that would solve that problem.
Ill have to go over that tonight with him at pick up.
What do I do about the rate thing? Just tell him that I need to charge him regular rate or keep it at what he's at now?

[hope]

You set your own hours, not the parents. If they really want to have their children come to you they will find a way to make the hours work or they will go someplace else and you will find parents that can work with your hours. Always get payment before you give care.

[MarinaVanessa]

Here are a few of my thoughts:

- Now that you know what the rates are in your area I would continue to quote new clients with this higher rate.

- Never just ask a parent how old their child is. Parents will always tell you they are "almost [age]" or a higher age than they really are. Ask how old they are and also when their date of birth is. This way you can calculate how old the child really is. This is important if you need to stay within ratios.

- When you quote a price make sure you tell potential clients that this is the current rate but that if they wait, the fee may be higher later. Telling them that the price you quote them will only be good for that week or two will encourage them to make a decision sooner rather than later and also gives you the opportunity to ask for more if you find you are not charging enough for what they need.

- Remember, don't feel obligated to stick to anything without a written contract.

- If you quoted them a price dependent on the child's needs (age, no diapers etc.) and it turns out that this is not true and you had previously asked the parents about it and they gave incorrect info then you should discuss this with them and raise your rates to accommodate these extra needs.

- Always figure out what you want to charge BEFORE you start interviewing. Also what services you are willing/not willing to provide. It helps to have not only a contract but a handbook with your expectations of the children, the parents and what the parents can expect from you and your daycare program. Then break down your fee's based accordingly. What will you charge for infants? toddlers? preschool-age children? school age children? does it include food? will you transport? will you charge more for transportation? How much will you charge for full-time? part-time? drop-in? and how many hours does each include etc. It helps to figure this out in advance and them type up a Rate Sheet and have it in front of you when you are talking to potential clients. If you don't remember or don't know what you want to charge for something DON'T JUST SPIT OUT AN ANSWER. "Get all of their needs and childcare hours/schedule then tell them that you'll get back to them with a quote.

- Have a talk to DCD about her eating habits. Let him know that in your home you serve real food that is healthy and homemade and whether or not you're open to allowing them to supply and bring her meals for you to serve. If your contract says that meals are included in your fee (rather than having a base rate and an additional fee for meals) then you don't have to give a discount in child care fees for not needing to serve DCG food. PS: the majority of FCC providers only serve the food that they decide on serving and leave it up to the child to decide whether to eat it or not. Typically after some time children tend to start eating the food and change their eatng habits while at daycare.

- You won't be starving her if she chooses not to eat. You will however be enabling her to eat unhealthy at your daycare by allowing unhealthy foods to come in. If you go this route be prepared to allow this for your other clients and be prepared to have issues with children that aren't provided these unhealthy foods by their parents but want to eat them because other children are eating them. Be prepared for normally healthy eaters to change their habits.

- I would add something in the contract/handbook about how responsibility over the child is transferred from you to the parents when they are present and that you expect for them to uphold all daycare rules while they are in your home. They are the parent, it is their responsibility to reinforce your rules and to correct challenging behavior when they are present.

- Check your contract and make sure it's clear when it comes to what FT, PT care etc. is defined as. Also what your fees are, when payment is due and how you charge. For example:
FT: 4 or 5 days, up to 50 hours a week, same schedule each week = $160/week
FT: up to 50 hours a week, varying schedule each week = $185/week (if they take up a FT spot they need to pay for it regardless of whether they attend all days or not)
PT: 2 days a week, up to 20 hours, same schedule each week = $85/week
PT: 3 days a week, up to 30 hours, same schedule each week = $120/week
* FT and PT clients have a guaranteed spot.
* Fees are flat weekly rates based on enrollment, not attendance. No discount given for absences.
* Fees are due on the child's last day of attendance for the week and no later than 6pm.

Drop-In Full Day: up to 10 hours = $45/day
Drop-In Hourly: 4 hour minimum = $6/hour
* Drop-In is based on availability and is not a guaranteed spot.
* Fees are due each day at time of drop-off.

- If it were me and the DCD told me that it may only be every other week I would tell him that I couldn't hold a spot for him like that and that he would need to pay each week even if the child didn't attend. I understand that you are probably hurting for money so it's up to you whether you want to agree or not with the every other week thing. Ideally it would be great to talk to DCD about speaking to DCM and having DCG stay FT in your care and have two separate contracts for each parent. Each parent paying on their own weeks etc.

- YOU NEED TO PUT A CAP ON THE HOURS THAT YOUR FEE COVERS!! anything more than 10 hours a day or so should be an extra fee and they should be giving you a schedule BEFORE the week starts and should be required to ask you first before they make any changes to the schedule.

- GET A CONTRACT SIGNED!! Talk to him TODAY and discuss what he wants and what you want then think about what you are willing to and not willing to accommodate. Sleep on it and talk it over with your DH if necessary, or us on the forum. Then tomorrow talk to him again about it and decide on an agreement. Type it up in the contract in detail and then require him to sign it within the next drop-off or his child can't stay.

[Soccermom]

These are mistakes all of us have likely made out of desperation to get our business up and running or established.

Here is my advice.

Stick to your contracted hours and do not take any children who cannot fit into those hours of operation. Never lower your rates for friends or family because you will be working very hard for your cash and deserve a decent pay at the end of the week. Also, never try to rope families in by promising low rates because eventually you will realize the amount of work is not worth the pay and your families will not be understanding about your sudden rate increase creating drama and frustration for you.

I know you are probably eager to get things going but don't rush into it and take on families who aren't a good match because you will regret it later when you have to fret about terming them. You will eventually find families who are a good fit for your daycare but it can take a few months.

Also, avoid early burnout by being strict and sticking to your original business outline.

Here is what I would suggest in your situation -

Tell DCD that your rates are weekly and that he is required to pay even if DCG is not attending in order to hold her spot. (She is taking up a daycare space even when she is not there because you can't find someone for just the weeks she is not there).

If you wish to care for her because you absolutely need to financially right now, let DCD know that you can take her every other week for now but that once a full time family wishes to enroll, he will be required to find alternate care.

If you really want to help him out and open at 5h45am, I would suggest charging a fee for that service. I would charge 5-7$ daily for early arrivals.

As for the DCG bullying the DCB while DCM was there to pick up...don't even give it a second thought. DCM has chosen to work and have her child enrolled in daycare. These are normal and expected behaviors for this age. You corrected the DCG and that is all that needed to be done. If DCM doesn't want her DCB to have to be subjected to other toddlers, then she can pay you 3 times your rate and have the joy of private care

Good luck! I know how hard it is to just start out but trust me when I tell you that as long as you never give in and stay strong, things will work out great for you

[Cradle2crayons]

I guess I assumed that since he was the brother of a good friend, I wouldn't have to worry about him not. Guess that was my first mistake. But that's typically how I do it with all my families. I give them the weekly invoice, which includes any overtime, on Thursday at pick up, and they pay on Friday at drop off for that week.

Having him pay every week is actually a good idea. It does state in my contract that I get paid regardless of attendance, so that would solve that problem.
Ill have to go over that tonight with him at pick up.
What do I do about the rate thing? Just tell him that I need to charge him regular rate or keep it at what he's at now?

DEFINATELY your real rate... If he balks, explain the reasoning just like here.

[MarinaVanessa]

Sorry, I forgot to talk about the most important thing ...

This is your business. You are a business owner now. You decide which services you will and won't provide and the potential clients will decide whether you meet their needs or not. You decide on your own hours. You are your own boss, you do not work for them.

Once you accept this idea then it will be a lot easier for you to be confident in yourself and in your business.

Another thing to keep in mind is that parents will always ask you for more and if you feel like accommodating them then you can always choose to do so. We call this the "special". Parents want "special". Just keep in mind that once you start providing "special" then "special" starts to become "normal" to them. Not because they are bad people, but because it's hard for most parents to see our perspective. If they ask for "special" then they should pay for "special" if it means that you will be inconvenienced ... and really because you are running a business and the point of a business is to make money. Don't feel guilty about thinking of it that way. If you had a business and you gave away the merchandise for free that's just not good business sense. So when they ask for "special" charge them for it, and you may find that what they urgently needed before suddenly isn't so urgent and necessary once you add a price tag to it.

[Josiegirl]

These wise and wonderful ladies have already suggested great things! Never assume because you know someone or he's somebody's something-or-other that you will get paid or treated any differently. In fact, the reverse might be true, he may think you'll cut him a deal. Also, never allow yourself to be a doormat. I think most of us, as providers, have a harder time saying no. There are too many opportunities for dcps to take a mile when we give an inch. Remain strong, stand up straight and find your backbone(even if it's quivering like jellyfish like mine always does Haha)
And Good Luck!