I Did This To Myself, Now What!?

[preschoolteacher]

You just have to get paid in advance. You never want to risk not getting paid. Get payments in advance!!!

And I agree with everything else already said here.

[Thriftylady]

I agree with the others and will add I would make a fast hard rule about outside food. She will not starve. She may be hungry till she eats at home later at night, but soon enough she will learn to eat what is served. It is due to them letting her do that she is doing it.

[AuntTami]

I guess I just need to get a backbone. A lot of these things I mentioned I go over in my handbook/policies(which I do have. I just Havnet had a chance to go over them with DCD. Grandma picked up DCG today so I didn't even see dad at all today as grandma dropped her off as well. I'm going to go over everything you've all suggested tonight and develop a game plan of what I need to do. Basically, I just need to stand my ground and stand firm on my policies but it's HARD when I feel like I don't have a leg to stand on.

[TheGoodLife]

So he knew he needed to go over contract and handbook items and he didn't even PU? I'd call and set up a meeting right away, then give the current rate that it will be. If he balks, then say you understand- things have changed since you first spoke and you didn't have time on Sunday to discuss as he brought the next day and you had said you needed to go over everything today. I'd honor the quoted rate for this week only, and wish him luck and see him to the door! I can't believe people who do these important things last minute and then don't even take the time to get things ready and in order

[AuntTami]

I've done some thinking and this is what I've decided. Any additional advice would be appreciated.
I DO have a handbook and contract that covers most of the issues I've been having. I just texted DCD and told him that after court on Friday, when custody arrangements are figured out, I will need to go over the contract and handbook with him. He agreed to that, so on pick up Friday, we are going to go over everything.

I think a $50 jump is quite high, even if I did under price myself, so after talking to my BF, I've decided that I'm going to charge him $135 per week(which is still less than my regular rate, but it ends up as more) and charge $5 per day that she arrives early. It depends on grandmas work schedule as to when she arrives, as grandma drops her off(DCD is a young, single dad who still lives with HIS parents) Some days she'll be here at 5:30, other days it won't be until 8:00a.m. If she's here early all week, it will add up to $160 per week. My regular rate(now) is $150 for full time 26-50 hours per week, however, if she arrives at 5:30 each morning, that puts him at 55 hours for the week(11hour days), should I also charge him additional for the extra 5 hours, or is that the point of charging the extra $5 each morning?

I don't think having DCG here during the week that DCM has her is an option. From what I've heard, DCM is rather unstable and *lives in her car*(at least that's the last place grandma knew that she was living), so I don't think she has the funds or need for daycare during her week- IF she gets a week. However, I am going to charge DCD for the spot for the week she's gone, but I will charge the regular $135, since she won't be here so I won't need to charge extra for early arrival.

As far as eating goes, it does state in my handbook that no outside food is to be brought in unless it's enough to share with the group and I've been notified prior. I didn't make a stink today because 1. we hadn't gone over that and 2. she was my only DCK for lunch since DCB doesn't arrive until 1:30. I gave her her chicken strip, applesauce, and some homemade chicken noodle soup, and we proceeded to have a 30 minute battle of wills over ALL of it. She wouldn't even eat the chicken strip or the applesauce, and FORGET the soup.
My BF and I sat at the dining room table with her, eating our lunch, while she sat there SCREAMING for her blanket throughout the entire lunch. I reminded her a couple times that she needed to eat, but basically just ignored her. After about 20 minutes of screaming for her blanket, she took a HUGE bite of chicken, swallowed it, screamed some more, and then proceeded to PUKE into her bowl at the dining room table. She wasn't sick, she just had herself SO worked up that she vomited. I took her to nap after that, and she was asleep within 10 minutes and slept for 2+ hours.

She goes back to sleep in the morning after arrival until about 7:30, but starts to melt down at about 11:00, and lunch isn't until 12:00. Grandma says she only naps "sometimes" but I know at her age, she still very much needs that nap, so she lays down for naptime. Both days I've had her, she's zonked within minutes.

I have *definitely* been quoting new families at the new price. DCB is at the old price also, but I'm going to hold off on raising his rate until the 1st of the year. He's easy enough anyways. I actually PREFER his late schedule vs. the early morning schedules. Maybe I should market toward second shift care, that would eliminate the need for getting up at 5:00 in the morning. I'm NOT a morning person. LOL. Is that a "thing"? Second shift care?

If I switch my payment times around to require payment on Monday instead of Friday for the week, how do I go about telling DCB's mom that? She's been paying at the end of the week as well.

BUSINESS! I guess, I'm having a really hard time accepting that I AM a business owner now. I havn't done any schooling, or fancy forms or anything like that, so it still feels like I'm a glorified babysitter, and to me it feels like I"M working for THEM still. How do you get rid of that feeling? I'm attending my licensing courses starting in January to become licensed, is it like a magic switch that turns on one day? LOL. Just kidding, but how do you get past the feeling that you're working for them, when youre actually working for YOURSELF, since that's the whole POINT of this! For now, I'm operating within all standards that make me exempt from needing a license(I only have slots for 3 children, which is what I'm allowed right now) but because of that and because I havn't done anything FORMALLY, I just feel like I'm a babysitter, and I don't WANT to feel that way since I'm providing SO much more than just a babysitting service. We do so much more than a typical babysitter would. BF keeps telling me "this is your BUSINESS! Treat it as such" but for some reason, I cannot get that into my thick skull. I guess for right now, since I don't have a contract or anything signed from him, I *am* a babysitter for her..

[MarinaVanessa]

BUSINESS! I guess, I'm having a really hard time accepting that I AM a business owner now. I havn't done any schooling, or fancy forms or anything like that, so it still feels like I'm a glorified babysitter, and to me it feels like I"M working for THEM still. How do you get rid of that feeling? I'm attending my licensing courses starting in January to become licensed, is it like a magic switch that turns on one day? LOL. Just kidding, but how do you get past the feeling that you're working for them, when youre actually working for YOURSELF, since that's the whole POINT of this! For now, I'm operating within all standards that make me exempt from needing a license(I only have slots for 3 children, which is what I'm allowed right now) but because of that and because I havn't done anything FORMALLY, I just feel like I'm a babysitter, and I don't WANT to feel that way since I'm providing SO much more than just a babysitting service. We do so much more than a typical babysitter would. BF keeps telling me "this is your BUSINESS! Treat it as such" but for some reason, I cannot get that into my thick skull. I guess for right now, since I don't have a contract or anything signed from him, I *am* a babysitter for her..

No there's no magic switch unfortunately ... it's just a shift in attitude, confidence and perspective.

Here's what I have about this in my handbook on the very first page:

One of the most important elements in home childcare is mutual respect between the parent and the child care provider. As a family child care provider, I strive to foster a sense of community within my daycare and to provide a closeness that you will not find in a child care center.

Because your child's welfare is so important, my caring and nurturing of your child can create an intimacy between us that makes our relationship feel more like a friendship rather than of business partners. Although this is ideal, well defined boundaries in certain areas are needed which is the reason I have created policies.

Together we share a great responsibility for the health, care, safety and well-being of your child. While your child is in my home I will love, nurture and protect your child therefore it is reasonable that you respect me not just as a “baby-sitter” but rather as a childcare provider. If you promise not to call me a baby-sitter I promise not to sit on your baby.

Please remember that I, as a childcare provider, own a business and provide a service for a fee. I set my own guidelines and policies and choose which services to offer. You, as the parent, must decide whether the services that I offer meet your needs”
~ MarinaVanessa

[TheGoodLife]

That sounds good. I'd personally charge the $5/day for early opening AND the $5 if the week goes over 50 hours. Separate fees, both can/should be enforced when necessary. Hopefully the 5:30 days won't happen too often. Here's how I'd word it:
"$135 weekly rate. $5 per day for any early openings, before 7:00 (mine would be higher for 1 1-2 hours before my opening, but that's me) to be paid at early drop off. I require at least 24 hours notice of early arrival days, and must be approved. If the hours go over 50 for the week, there is a $5 fee.
Daycare tuition is based on enrollment, not attendance. It is due each week by Friday for the following week (to be paid ahead)"

That way you are being compensated AND you aren't getting the 11PM or 4:00AM call/text the day that they need early care that morning.

Good luck!!

[AuntTami]

My thought was to charge the $5 for the early morning each morning, and then charge $3.00/hour for each hour after 50, which would make the weekly total $175 if she is here 5:30am-4:30pm but that's almost twice what I quoted him at, and I FEEL BAD. I know, I shouldn't, but I do..

Currently, he lets me know each night around 7:00 what time she will be arriving in the morning, so I know before I go to bed, and know what time I need to go to bed. If I got a 4am phone call to take her, I'd say no. That's way too short of notice for me. My handbook requires that I have TWO WEEKS worth of schedules at all times, so I know what time everyone is supposed to arrive and on what days. I'm not "sticking to my guns" this week because we havn't gone over policies yet, but will be on Friday at pick up after custody is figured out.

Thanks for all your help ladies. I really appreciate everything, and I've learned my lesson. I won't be doing this again! Friend, family, or foe, everyone will go over the handbook/contract with me BEFORE their kid starts, even if they need IMMEDIATE care. They better figure out a way to get over here and go over everything that night if they need care the next morning.
Live and learn...and then gets Luvs......Right? :-D

[Cradle2crayons]

[QUOTE=AuntTami;500504]I've done some thinking and this is what I've decided. Any additional advice would be appreciated.
I DO have a handbook and contract that covers most of the issues I've been having. I just texted DCD and told him that after court on Friday, when custody arrangements are figured out, I will need to go over the contract and handbook with him. He agreed to that, so on pick up Friday, we are going to go over everything.

I think a $50 jump is quite high, even if I did under price myself, so after talking to my BF, I've decided that I'm going to charge him $135 per week(which is still less than my regular rate, but it ends up as more) and charge $5 per day that she arrives early. It depends on grandmas work schedule as to when she arrives, as grandma drops her off(DCD is a young, single dad who still lives with HIS parents) Some days she'll be here at 5:30, other days it won't be until 8:00a.m. If she's here early all week, it will add up to $160 per week. My regular rate(now) is $150 for full time 26-50 hours per week, however, if she arrives at 5:30 each morning, that puts him at 55 hours for the week(11hour days), should I also charge him additional for the extra 5 hours, or is that the point of charging the extra $5 each morning?

I don't think having DCG here during the week that DCM has her is an option. From what I've heard, DCM is rather unstable and *lives in her car*(at least that's the last place grandma knew that she was living), so I don't think she has the funds or need for daycare during her week- IF she gets a week. However, I am going to charge DCD for the spot for the week she's gone, but I will charge the regular $135, since she won't be here so I won't need to charge extra for early arrival.

As far as eating goes, it does state in my handbook that no outside food is to be brought in unless it's enough to share with the group and I've been notified prior. I didn't make a stink today because 1. we hadn't gone over that and 2. she was my only DCK for lunch since DCB doesn't arrive until 1:30. I gave her her chicken strip, applesauce, and some homemade chicken noodle soup, and we proceeded to have a 30 minute battle of wills over ALL of it. She wouldn't even eat the chicken strip or the applesauce, and FORGET the soup.
My BF and I sat at the dining room table with her, eating our lunch, while she sat there SCREAMING for her blanket throughout the entire lunch. I reminded her a couple times that she needed to eat, but basically just ignored her. After about 20 minutes of screaming for her blanket, she took a HUGE bite of chicken, swallowed it, screamed some more, and then proceeded to PUKE into her bowl at the dining room table. She wasn't sick, she just had herself SO worked up that she vomited. I took her to nap after that, and she was asleep within 10 minutes and slept for 2+ hours.

She goes back to sleep in the morning after arrival until about 7:30, but starts to melt down at about 11:00, and lunch isn't until 12:00. Grandma says she only naps "sometimes" but I know at her age, she still very much needs that nap, so she lays down for naptime. Both days I've had her, she's zonked within minutes.

I have *definitely* been quoting new families at the new price. DCB is at the old price also, but I'm going to hold off on raising his rate until the 1st of the year. He's easy enough anyways. I actually PREFER his late schedule vs. the early morning schedules. Maybe I should market toward second shift care, that would eliminate the need for getting up at 5:00 in the morning. I'm NOT a morning person. LOL. Is that a "thing"? Second shift care?

yes, I actually offer first and/or second shift care. I also REALLY like second shift care. Call me crazy!!!

If I switch my payment times around to require payment on Monday instead of Friday for the week, how do I go about telling DCB's mom that? She's been paying at the end of the week as well.
LETTER TO ALL FAMILIES
"Dear daycare families, due to making accounting easier, I am changing from payment after care is received to payment in advance on the first day of care of the week. For example, if Monday is your first day to drop off for the week, payment for the entire week will be due Monday at drop off. If any late fees or overtime fees are accrued, payment for hose are due at drop off the next day of care or late fees will apply.
Thanks for helping to make your daycare run more smoothly. Please note that a new contract reflecting this agreement will need to be signed by xxx date"


End of story... Really this is standard for most daycare providers due to experience showing that it's easy to get stiffed.


BUSINESS! I guess, I'm having a really hard time accepting that I AM a business owner now. I havn't done any schooling, or fancy forms or anything like that, so it still feels like I'm a glorified babysitter, and to me it feels like I"M working for THEM still. How do you get rid of that feeling? I'm attending my licensing courses starting in January to become licensed, is it like a magic switch that turns on one day? LOL. Just kidding, but how do you get past the feeling that you're working for them, when youre actually working for YOURSELF, since that's the whole POINT of this!

by maintaining your professionalism, making regulations but most importantly INSISTING that everyone follows your rules. For now, I'm operating within all standards that make me exempt from needing a license(I only have slots for 3 children, which is what I'm allowed right now) but because of that and because I havn't done anything FORMALLY, I just feel like I'm a babysitter, and I don't WANT to feel that way since I'm providing SO much more than just a babysitting service. We do so much more than a typical babysitter would. BF keeps telling me "this is your BUSINESS! Treat it as such" but for some reason, I cannot get that into my thick skull. I guess for right now, since I don't have a contract or anything signed from him, I *am* a babysitter for her..

I have never and would never allow any child to stay, even on day one, without a contract and payment in my hand. If, for instance, you had required payment and contract on Monday, then you could address any changes that come up in court, on Friday.