REALLY? I am So Mad

[daycare]

So if the topic of potty training had never come up, you would not have had any idea that this family was planning on enrolling in preschool elsewhere?

If that is the case, then I understand your feelings but still don't think it is something we (as child care providers) can be upset about.

If you want to be a preschool and compete with preschool (as defined by parents) then I wouldn't even entertain enrolling a child who is not toilet trained.

Obviously in this parents eyes, "big girl school" is a school where big girls go.

I don't agree with the parent about pushing his DD so hard to train but that (the training) is on the parents as I don't involve myself with that too much other than supporting the progress a parent has made at home. I don't tell parents how to train their kids or when unless asked.

It ****s that parents want to pull and leave your program, but in all honesty you can't change how parents view your program. If I were a parent that felt the definition of "big girl school" was a place for potty trained children only, I would not enroll in a program that has children in diapers...kwim?

I am in NO way devaluing your program or your credentials but am only trying to offer a parent perspective in regards to what parents view as daycare and preschool.

I have teaching credentials too. I offer a preschool curriculum and pretty much the same things brick and mortar preschools do still enroll children in multiple age groups and children in diapers thus making me daycare in a parents eyes. Even if I have more of an education that the gal running the preschool down the block that takes only preschool aged children and operates from 8:30-2:00.

Either way though, I'm sorry you are hurt by this dad's words/actions.

:hug:

BC- yes, what you are saying I 100% agree with. But having someone say this to your face is different.

I am sure that I have had families do this in silent with out me knowing at all. I would prefer it to be that way.

to each their own, If they want to leave then so be it, but if they think they are going to get me to do all the leg work to get their little pea off to another preschool they are mistaken.

I only prepare children to leave for kinder.

[Crazy8]

I would gently remind DCD that DD loves being in your care and is perhaps not getting on board the potty train wagon because DCD keeps telling her that being potty trained = Leaving your care.

Love this perspective!!!

But honestly, I would probably look for a replacement because he basically told you they will be leaving soon. And as for potty training, I would let that be 100% child led. I would not be pushing it for this (or any other) child.

[Blackcat31]

BC- yes, what you are saying I 100% agree with. But having someone say this to your face is different.

I am sure that I have had families do this in silent with out me knowing at all. I would prefer it to be that way.

to each their own, If they want to leave then so be it, but if they think they are going to get me to do all the leg work to get their little pea off to another preschool they are mistaken.

I only prepare children to leave for kinder.

But that's the thing...just do what you normally do.

If you assist with potty training, continue assisting her.

If you don't, then don't.

Whether they plan on leaving or not would not affect my actions.

I don't train kids. I support the parents when they have made enough progress that assistance WHILE in care is needed. If they haven't reached that point yet then the training is not my concern at all.

I also understand that it's difficult to "know" this info (that they are leaving) upfront and that the dad actually said it to you, but look at it positively.

What if he never said a word, the child got trained (with the parents doing most the work and you assisting as normal) and then they up and left.

Would you still be hurt? I am guessing yes...

So in reality, it just ****s that you know this far in advance...it's ****y either way but it just seems worse now because you know this.

I know ignorance is bliss but I am always advocating for honest open communication and this dad is kinda sorta doing exactly that.

[sharlan]

I wouldn't put a lot of stock into what the father said. As BC said, do what you normally do and move on.

[daycare]

I will continue as I am, but I still will validate the fact that someone saying something like that to your face is upsetting.

as you said ignorance is bliss and I would prefer that method. DCD obviously does not see me for what I am worth and that is ok. BUT I am still mad about it

[Unregistered]

I absolutely get your feelings of being upset. They seem to be saying you are good enough for now while she is not potty trained, but they want more/better after she is potty trained. Plus they want that change to happen soon.

While I understand being both hurt and angry, in the end we can not control how people treat us. We can only control how we react to how they treat us.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I wouldn't have another potty training discussion with them. I would tell them you don't work on potty training on children who are leaving care. It's too labor intensive and only worth the investment if the child is staying. If they backtrack and say she is staying require them to sign a new termination notice time of six months. If they won't sign then you won't work on training.

The mom is going to be livid when she finds out he let that cat out of the bag. When the truth comes out it's usually from the kid or Dad.

I 100% agree with Nan.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

For the record, though, Daycare...your posts make me NEVER want to move to California. It is beautiful to visit but holy nutters...your posts scare me away. You are a wonderful person and I can easily see how much work you put into your program. Anyone would be lucky to have their child there. I don't know why the people of California give you such a stinking hard time.

[melilley]

I would be furious! So you are supposed to put in all the work, just so they can pull?! Well, at least his intentions are clear. Some parents will just wait until pt is done, pull, and leave us scrambling to find a replacement. I wouldn't term now, but if I found a replacement, I definitely would, and would tell dcd that since they planned on leaving anyway, you need to open the spot up to someone that needs care for an extended period.

I just come to expect that parents will leave then, but that is the norm for my area and I like it that way.

In your case daycare, I would be mad. They know that you run a great pre-k program and then throw it in your face that they are only there until dcg is potty trained..not cool.

I have a dcm who I knew was going to pull after dcb was potty trained, which was fine because as I said, I prefer to have 3 and under children and she did pull. I still have his younger brother and one day dcm brought former dcb to pick up dcb and right to my face she said "M. quit acting like a baby or you'll have to come back here". Even though I know that I prefer having the younger kids, it's different when they say something to your face, especially when you work so hard at having a great program!

[sharlan]

I will continue as I am, but I still will validate the fact that someone saying something like that to your face is upsetting.

as you said ignorance is bliss and I would prefer that method. DCD obviously does not see me for what I am worth and that is ok. BUT I am still mad about it

I totally understand it being upsetting, but you have no control over somebody else's mouth and lack of respect.

[Country Kids]

Daycare-Hate to say it but its because you are in a house. If you had some little cute house/building that was totally set up like a preschool and only did say 3-5 year olds, I bet parents won't give you a hard time.

If you had everyone seperated by age, possibly your assitants teaching each age group, over each group it would look more like a preschool.

Take no one in diapers (no younger siblings), do strictly preschool and if they want additional childcare it will cost them. Thats how preschools do it. Maybe even advertise xxx Preschool and Childcare.

If you want to be a preschool in parents eyes, your going to have to run strictly a preschool program. Probably not enrolling any that aren't potty trained would help alot also.

Its hard trying to figure what people want but we are here for you-

[daycare]

Daycare-Hate to say it but its because you are in a house. If you had some little cute house/building that was totally set up like a preschool and only did say 3-5 year olds, I bet parents won't give you a hard time.

If you had everyone seperated by age, possibly your assitants teaching each age group, over each group it would look more like a preschool.

Take no one in diapers (no younger siblings), do strictly preschool and if they want additional childcare it will cost them. Thats how preschools do it. Maybe even advertise xxx Preschool and Childcare.

If you want to be a preschool in parents eyes, your going to have to run strictly a preschool program. Probably not enrolling any that aren't potty trained would help alot also.

Its hard trying to figure what people want but we are here for you-

here is the thing/.... I dont' care why people want to pull from my program. They don't want to be to be here fine by me.

BUT for someone to come and say what they did hurts...Yes I will still continue to do as I always do.

I do have my house set up like a daycare on one side and a preschool on the other side. We have ZERO adult furniture. HERE you must be 100% potty trained to qualify for preschool which includes out program community in the classroom.

Parents are going to pull no matter what I do. So I just do what I do.....

[e.j.]

I will continue as I am, but I still will validate the fact that someone saying something like that to your face is upsetting.

as you said ignorance is bliss and I would prefer that method. DCD obviously does not see me for what I am worth and that is ok. BUT I am still mad about it

I can understand why you're upset. Unfortunately, people can be very thoughtless when they open their mouths to speak. That dcd is not only rude but clueless! His words certainly don't motivate you to help in the PT process and his attempts to shame his child don't help, either.

I also get that "ignorance is bliss" sometimes. As angry and hurt as I might feel, if it were me... I would appreciate the heads-up he just gave me and take the opportunity to protect my income. I would look to replace this family as soon as possible.

[Leigh]

here is the thing/.... I dont' care why people want to pull from my program. They don't want to be to be here fine by me.

BUT for someone to come and say what they did hurts...Yes I will still continue to do as I always do.

I do have my house set up like a daycare on one side and a preschool on the other side. We have ZERO adult furniture. HERE you must be 100% potty trained to qualify for preschool which includes out program community in the classroom.

Parents are going to pull no matter what I do. So I just do what I do.....

I would be less upset about them pulling their child than about them expecting YOU to prepare their child for it. Expecting you to potty train so that they can "take their business elsewhere" shows how much they do NOT respect you. That just floors me that anyone would have the nerve!

[daycare]

I would be less upset about them pulling their child than about them expecting YOU to prepare their child for it. Expecting you to potty train so that they can "take their business elsewhere" shows how much they do NOT respect you. That just floors me that anyone would have the nerve!

Exactly.

That's like saying ....you harvest all the coffee beans, grind all the coffee, do all of the work and then watch me drink it. No one wants to do all the work for zero benefit. And while they told me I was going to have to do this it just made it show they don't respect me or my program.
No thanks