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I totally agree with this! I think they were extremely grateful knowing their younger child was being well taken care of during this family crisis and appreciated that they could focus 100% on their other child in the hospital.
You did it not expect such a huge compensation, but obviously they want to show you how much it meant to them, so I personally would definitely do as a Wednesday suggested in both her posts- use some for your daycare and some for yourself!Comment
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Thank you all for you thoughtful and wonderful suggestions. I didn't mean to be a weirdo about keeping the money, or giving the money back, though I know that's how I sounded. DCM texted me to ask if she could stop by later today to pick up a pair of shoes DCG left behind, so I'll be able to find out how her daughter is doing (I am very concerned about her, but we couldn't really talk yesterday), and to thank her in person.
And I do like your letter, Wednesday! Also the suggestion of using the money for my daycare... She'll be here in a little bit and I'll let you know how it goes.Comment
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update
Hi, OP here: DCM and I had a very emotional visit. Her daughter is still in the psychiatric ward but will be released sometime this week, and then will need to go to another facility. Right now they're trying to determine whether she will need continued in-patient or outpatient service. DCM is a wreck, and my heart goes out to her. Basically, I just held her hand and let her talk and we both cried. She's distraught because she picked up no clues that her daughter was having such problems, and is beating herself up over it. I will try to do whatever I can to support her.
I thanked her, of course, for her very generous gift and told her that while I appreciated it very much, it certainly wasn't expected or necessary. It turns out there was more to the story. First, she said that the money was worth it because she didn't have to worry a second about her little girl's well-being and that she could just concentrate on her oldest daughter, and that made me feel really good. But this is the part that surprised me: Last month my father died unexpectedly in his sleep, and of course I've been devastated. He was 65. I had to close up my daycare for an entire week because my whole family is several states away. I managed to coordinate care for families who didn't have backup but she overheard another DCM still be rude to me about taking time off. So the generous DCM said she wanted to do something personal for me at the time, but didn't want to be inappropriate. So she used the opportunity of my watching her daughter to give me something extra, with the hope that I would use some of the money for a spa day or something to make me feel good. So I understand better now, and I am even more grateful for her thoughtfulness and kindness. I've had such a rocky time with some of my daycare parents this year, and am very thankful for her.Comment
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I would keep it and use it for facility improvements and new stuff. Thank the family for their kindness. You made their life easier and they knew their little girl was safe which is priceless. Good job!Comment
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Oh my
I'm so sorry about your dad OP. You must have been devastated and went through hell. Be sure to take care of yourself.
Your dcm is a gem and I'm sure she sees you as one also. Do something nice for you, you both are lucky to have each other. I hope her dd gets better soon; I think teenagers are very emotional and do these kinds of things without a lot of forethought. Thank God she's got another chance. And it sounds like dcm may need you again.Comment
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What a kind, caring and compassionate DCM! That is so thoughtful of her to show her gratitude for you. They truly treasure what you do for their family.
I also wanted to add that many families I worked with would consider it a HUGE insult if you were to return a gift (cultural differences). It is best to gracefully accept. I like Wednesday's idea of purchasing something for your business and give the family credit for making it happen.
This family is blessed to have you, and it sounds like you are blessed to have them as well. Enjoy deciding how to spend/save the money.
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Op I am so sorry for the loss of your dad! My own father passed away recently at the age of 61. I feel for you :hug:
Daycare parents can be so self centered at the wrong times, I'm sorry that other dcm was giving you a hard time.
It makes us appreciate the wonderful ones like your generous dcm!Comment
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Wow! I'm glad everyone liked my response. That makes me feel warm and fuzzy.😃
Op, your last post brought tears to my eyes. She is truly a keeper. This is the kind of relationship I think we all strive for with our families. One of mutual respect, true concern for each other, and noticing the little things where others don't (when she took note of the rude dcparent). You two deserve each other and I'm so happy that you share this kind of relationship.
I'm rooting for her daughter. I have a 16 year old dd who just went through a terrible break up. I thought I might have to pull her back from the edge on more than one occasion. So I can empathize with dcm. I'm thinking of them, even though we are strangers, and hoping for a quick recovery. Sending love and light to you both.Comment
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OP I just wanted to make a comment about how you've taken care of their dd for 2 yrs and still don't know them that well....I think you just learned ALOT about them in their time of need and gratitude.
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from op
Josie, I was going on and on so I didn't want to bore everybody with this, but it was striking to me, too, when I was talking to her how little I knew about her. I can't say it's that way with all my families, but she's reserved and really, so am I. But I feel as though I made a friend, which as well know is kinda dangerous in our line of work... I had no idea she overheard that other DCM being mean to me. I was going to start a thread about that mom after I returned to work, but every time I started to post I got upset and stopped writing. Honestly, it's not a good situation because I have to steel myself when she walks in the door and put on a really fake smile. Her kid is sweet, but I am really ready to terminate her because of that rudeness. She didn't even let me finish telling her that I had already arranged backup for her before she let out her heavy sigh and asked me what she was supposed to do with her child while I was at the funeral. I need to let it go but it's hard and I'd love to know if anybody has ever terminated care because of rudeness about something that cannot be helped.Comment
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Is rude dcm like this all the time? Have you had them awhile?
I'm sorry rude dcm put your through all that when you were going through a difficult time to begin with. I had a dcm do a similar thing when my mom died. She wondered what she was going to do for dc, when all my other parents expressed condolences and asked if I needed anything, ya know the usual responses you'd expect. Looking back maybe I should have at least said something to her to make her aware but I let it pass, all while telling myself 'that's not my problem'. Some people are so self-centered they cannot see past their own face.
As far as terming rude dcm, can you afford it? Is she always like this? Ultimately it's your decision but we are human with lives first, providers 2nd. You don't have to keep her unless you want to. It's your home, your business, you have the luxury of making that kind of a decision.Comment
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