Taking Food Away...

[Cat Herder]

She's done this before with lunch that she doesn't like as well - I just take the food away and dismiss her. Would you do something differently?

That is the only caveat that I see.

If it is a food that the child is KNOWN to dislike we are supposed to offer an alternate of that component. (we as in providers in my state who take the same classes I do)

If she is known to dislike apples, a serving of pears or grapes could be offered to her. If she is known to dislike green beans, a handful of carrot sticks can be offered.

I know it can get tricky. I generally plan menus around my group and have a few choices of fresh fruit/sliced raw veggies available daily as they keep for most of the week. (no trading carrots for pop tarts, though.... )

If it is the protein that the kid dislikes, I always have a PBJ or sliced cheddar cheese sandwich option (also keeps well and easily put together).

Funny how it is never the bread/grain they refuse. ::::

Granted, OP's kid sounds like work ... having this kid all afternoon, also hungry, sounds HARDER.

[bananas]

Thanks everyone! She normally loves apples and asked for seconds the week before when we ate them with our snack...she can be very unpredictable! She also asks for cake and donuts throughout the day (which I have never given the kids) and when I tell her I don't have any she also starts throwing herself against the door screaming for her mom and kicking at my furniture and bedroom doors. If she's being destructive with my furniture, I sit her in a time-out chair, away from everything to prevent injury, that she is not allowed to leave until she has calmed own. I generally avoid x number of minutes in time-out - I keep them there until they have cooled off...otherwise I feel like the time-out is pointless if they are allowed to leave still throwing a fit 3 minutes later!

I am not on the food program and am (legally) unlicensed. I try to be fair with my rules since I don't have a state rulebook that I am required to go by...when I saw the thread about withholding food, I started to question whether I was being fair or not. Food program and state regulations aside, would you do the same?

[bananas]

I just really dislike that food is leading to so many issues - spitting, throwing, destroying, time-outs. I don't want food to be such a negative issue...I know that's how complexes begin!

[Cat Herder]

Food program and state regulations aside, would you do the same?

I am not on the food program. My State regs say to offer alternates in cases of KNOWN dislikes. None of that would apply to your DCK. :hug:

IMHO, giving the alternate is the best option for me. Not the kid, not the parent...

*A hungry kid is a miserable kid. A badly behaved kid is already a miserable kid to spend the day with and I see no reason to make it worse to prove a point. I hope that makes sense. ::

Obviously your DCkid does like apples so I would not have offered anything else right then. I would have sent her to potty, wash up and to her mat. This was a behavior problem, IMHO.

DCK has two choices, stay at the table and eat or go wash up and go to mat. Nothing is being forced on her.

But, if I knew she had not eaten enough to be full until the next snack, I'd give her something more substantial at snack, FOR ME and the group. So we would not have to deal with even worse behavior.

[Thriftylady]

I think you need to talk to mom. It sounds to me (due to the crying for mom) that she gets her way with this behavior at home. I would let mom know that it needs to be gotten under control because it doesn't work at daycare.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Something seems way off about a 3-year-old behaving that way.

[Febby]

When children throw their food, I typically tell them that it looks like they're all done eating (because if we're still eating, then we should be sitting quietly on our bottoms and eating) and then have them cleanup whatever they threw and then dismiss them.

In my state, or at least my county, not giving seconds until other food is gone is considered withholding food and isn't allowed.

My state also doesn't allow it, at least they don't in centers. I don't know much about the home daycare regs.

[grandmom]

That is the only caveat that I see.

If it is a food that the child is KNOWN to dislike we are supposed to offer an alternate of that component. (we as in providers in my state who take the same classes I do)

If she is known to dislike apples, a serving of pears or grapes could be offered to her. If she is known to dislike green beans, a handful of carrot sticks can be offered.

I know it can get tricky. I generally plan menus around my group and have a few choices of fresh fruit/sliced raw veggies available daily as they keep for most of the week. (no trading carrots for pop tarts, though.... )

If it is the protein that the kid dislikes, I always have a PBJ or sliced cheddar cheese sandwich option (also keeps well and easily put together).

Funny how it is never the bread/grain they refuse. ::::

Granted, OP's kid sounds like work ... having this kid all afternoon, also hungry, sounds HARDER.

I know you aren't but: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? There is no stinking way I'd adhere to these rules. Oh don't get me started. How sad for the kids.

[Josiegirl]

I know you aren't but: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? There is no stinking way I'd adhere to these rules. Oh don't get me started. How sad for the kids.

Haha I was thinking the same thing!! You end up playing restaurant with everybody when 1 child sees they can start getting substitutions. That's ludicrous!!

[Cat Herder]

I know you aren't but: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? There is no stinking way I'd adhere to these rules. Oh don't get me started. How sad for the kids.

You are right, I was not kidding. :::: The line of thinking was explained to us in class.



"What you would do as a parent has no relevancy in what you should do as an Early Childhood Care and Education Professional."

"Meal and snack times are solely for the purpose of meeting children's physical development needs. These are known as basic human needs which must be met consistently before early learning can occur. Research has shown......"

"...poverty .... busy schedules ....other children's needs ....lack of parental education programs ...extended family responsibilities ..job stresses..."

"....as such it is the responsibility of the Early Childhood Care and Education Professional to ensure that each child has an adequate intake of vital vitamins and minerals...."



Then it explains the "offer alternates" policy.

**I already did this for the most part, though. In cases of a true aversion to certain foods.

Our public schools have to do it, now, too... That is something my kids have enjoyed since they like to opt for the chef salad option anyway. They are not fans of frozen food nuggets from any meat source.

The concept that this stuff is my responsibility, well that is an issue I can't win even though I find it insulting to parents. It is like they just assume parents are idiots, now, and should be removed from their kids as much as possible. :confused: Eh, maybe I am just reading it all wrong. The term "Compensatory Education" is used often.

[toriskids]

When I have my large groups (10) during the week, I seat all the children at the table in front of their plates and let them make a choice off the platter
(Grapes or mandarines, turkey or ham, etc) that I have prepared the night before or early that morning. The platter is then placed in the center with the remaining food for anyone who would like seconds.

I'm 8 months pregnant so dealing with any tantrums at the table during lunch can make the rest of the day really hard!
Plus my age group ranges from 14 months to 8 years old!

That is what works for ME......and the group

[KiddieCahoots]

You are right, I was not kidding. :::: The line of thinking was explained to us in class.



"What you would do as a parent has no relevancy in what you should do as an Early Childhood Care and Education Professional."

"Meal and snack times are solely for the purpose of meeting children's physical development needs. These are known as basic human needs which must be met consistently before early learning can occur. Research has shown......"

"...poverty .... busy schedules ....other children's needs ....lack of parental education programs ...extended family responsibilities ..job stresses..."

"....as such it is the responsibility of the Early Childhood Care and Education Professional to ensure that each child has an adequate intake of vital vitamins and minerals...."



Then it explains the "offer alternates" policy.

**I already did this for the most part, though. In cases of a true aversion to certain foods.

Our public schools have to do it, now, too... That is something my kids have enjoyed since they like to opt for the chef salad option anyway. They are not fans of frozen food nuggets from any meat source.

The concept that this stuff is my responsibility, well that is an issue I can't win even though I find it insulting to parents. It is like they just assume parents are idiots, now, and should be removed from their kids as much as possible. :confused: Eh, maybe I am just reading it all wrong. The term "Compensatory Education" is used often.

Or maybe it's where we have to pick up the pieces from the misguided parents raising precious snow flakes that call the shots on what, when, and where they will eat.

[Cat Herder]

Or maybe it's where we have to pick up the pieces from the misguided parents raising precious snow flakes that call the shots on what, when, and where they will eat.

:::: Now you are being culturally insensitive to current parenting strategies. Where is your family diversity tolerance? ::::

I do believe we have taken this stuff too far. Time for a pendulum swing.

[KiddieCahoots]

:::: Now you are being culturally insensitive to current parenting strategies. Where is your family diversity tolerance? ::::
I do believe we have taken this stuff too far. Time for a pendulum swing.

Obviously it hit the road.....with my last snow flake. ::.........

[jenboo]

You are right, I was not kidding. :::: The line of thinking was explained to us in class.



"What you would do as a parent has no relevancy in what you should do as an Early Childhood Care and Education Professional."

"Meal and snack times are solely for the purpose of meeting children's physical development needs. These are known as basic human needs which must be met consistently before early learning can occur. Research has shown......"

"...poverty .... busy schedules ....other children's needs ....lack of parental education programs ...extended family responsibilities ..job stresses..."

"....as such it is the responsibility of the Early Childhood Care and Education Professional to ensure that each child has an adequate intake of vital vitamins and minerals...."



Then it explains the "offer alternates" policy.

**I already did this for the most part, though. In cases of a true aversion to certain foods.

Our public schools have to do it, now, too... That is something my kids have enjoyed since they like to opt for the chef salad option anyway. They are not fans of frozen food nuggets from any meat source.

The concept that this stuff is my responsibility, well that is an issue I can't win even though I find it insulting to parents. It is like they just assume parents are idiots, now, and should be removed from their kids as much as possible. :confused: Eh, maybe I am just reading it all wrong. The term "Compensatory Education" is used often.

Is this for real?? I couldn't imagine what it would be like in a center with 100+ kids!!!
So what happens if a child doesn't like any veggies?? You can't serve any to them??

I'm pretty sure if I had to cater to the children, we would have easy Mac and fruit snacks everyday. They would never eat the healthy meals I serve. Well mostly healthy.