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So there's another thread that just was posted about withholding food. Something happened today with one of my DCKs that got me thinking about it and I just wanted to hear your opinions. First off, I have a rule here that if you want seconds of something then you need to finish everything on your plate. Today I served apple slices and a small handful of Apple Jacks (we're doing an apple unit). 3 year old DCG finishes her Apple Jacks and wants more, doesn't touch her apple slices. I tell her she needs to finish her apple slices so she takes her apples and throws them at the kid across from her at the table, spits some food on the floor, and then tries to nab her neighbor's Apple Jack's...all while I'm walking over to her to take her plate away. She slams her body against the door screaming for her mommy and "Snaaaaaaack, snaaaack, snaaaack!" She's done this before with lunch that she doesn't like as well - I just take the food away and dismiss her. Would you do something differently?
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Wow, you got your hands full with that one don't you?? Yikes
Nope, I think you handled it great. You're not with-holding food, she made a choice to throw the rest of it not eat it. Hopefully she's understand soon the act she's pulling doesn't work for you. Do mom and dad handle it the same way or do they give in and try to appease dck?
I also think when she's calm might be a good time to discuss her terrible behavior and how you can help her change it. -
Wow, you got your hands full with that one don't you?? Yikes
Nope, I think you handled it great. You're not with-holding food, she made a choice to throw the rest of it not eat it. Hopefully she's understand soon the act she's pulling doesn't work for you. Do mom and dad handle it the same way or do they give in and try to appease dck?
I also think when she's calm might be a good time to discuss her terrible behavior and how you can help her change it.
I agree!!
And I have the same rule on seconds. They have to finish everything to have seconds of something.Comment
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I would have done the same. She made the choice to not eat or at least try her apple slices.Comment
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Oh if she was throwing and spitting food, she threw her food away you didn't take it away.Comment
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In my state, or at least my county, not giving seconds until other food is gone is considered withholding food and isn't allowed. But putting that aside, in my opinion if the child ate at least one serving of food before throwing her fit, then you made the right choice! You don't get to touch other peoples food around here.Comment
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If a child chooses to eat ONLY the apple jacks, then the provider should continue to give seconds of apple jacks when the child has not touched the fruit? If she had tried it and didn't like the fruit, that is a different story. I wouldn't force her to eat something she doesn't like, but refusing to try the fruit and only eating the apple jacks...nope, not here. I have this happen here sometimes. They gobble down one thing that they like and want more without touching anything else. I remind them they need to try everything else first. If they refuse I ask "so are you done eating then?" I don't bend on this. I'd have a whole group of kids picking and choosing everyday
For me it wouldn't matter how many servings she ate before throwing the fit. She spits and throws food, SHE made the choice not to eat. I will not give her more fresh food to spit and throwComment
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My understanding is that we must offer an amount that meets the requirements, but are not obliged to offer more than that.
So if you give the child a smaller amount of the treat cereal to start, they can refuse the apple, and you must give them an amount that totals the meal pattern requirement for the cereal.
I believe some providers still do some type of "catered" meals, where the food is delivered, and when I first heard of those, they included only the minimum requirements of each food for each child.
My kids would starve :
: I am cursed with good eaters
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http://www.kdheks.gov/bcclr/regs/lic...l_sections.pdf. It's listed with the punishments stuff on page 38 of the PDF. (Page 34 in the actual book)it only says "withholding food" though in the book, which is why I said it may only be the way my county chooses to interpret it. I've worked in centers here in town for 12 years and my bosses said we weren't allowed to do it but I didn't know it was actually a Health Department rule until during my initial DC inspection. The surveyor read through the regs with me and specifically commented at that part that I could not force them to try something they didn't want or keep seconds from them until they ate other parts of the meal.
I personally think of withholding food as not allowing them to eat anything at all, and forcing food as physically putting food in their mouth.Comment
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I would not be able to claim the apple jacks on the FP, so in my mind, they are not actually part of the snack. I probably would have done apple slices, some type of protein, and then a small amount of the apple jacks. I would also not have given seconds on the apple jacks as they would not have been part of the snack, and I would have made that clear before snack even started.
That said, I don't give seconds on snacks - it's a snack not a meal. I do have pickier eaters and I have had kids in the past who would not eat at a meal because they were holding out for the snacks (this was especially true when my snacks were more crackery types
) I even successfully got rid of my AM snack because I felt as though we were always eating
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If a child threw food I would not give them more ( not including toddlers) , any child who threw food at another child would have to leave the table . They chose to not eat the food .Comment
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That's a shame that your county interprets it that way because I read it as if you can't with hold food all together as a punishment. Such as not allowing a child to have lunch. I did not read it as HAVING to allow seconds of anything.
My regulations also state that we cannot with hold food as a punishment but it's clear that they mean we aren't allowed to simply not give children the option to eat. We aren't governed on seconds or additional servings of anything.
I'm sure it's tough to have to work around that rule...
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Our regs are no with holding food as a punishment, and no forcing them to eat anything (meaning physically putting food in their mouth unwillingly)
For the food program I do not have to offer seconds of anything. I am only required to offer the minimum serving
So if I offered it, she threw it, spit it out or refused it, I did not with hold, the child refused.Comment
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Yea, that type of behavior at my table is considered the child refusing to eat and the child will wait at a little table near us with a puzzle or something until their friends are done. You don't get to sit with us with those type of manners
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