DEBATE: PB & J Fed To 'Allergic' Kid But Allergy Was A Lie. Whos Side Do You Take?

[KidGrind]

I'm not sure about the party giver not having to respect anyone's wishes.... I believe when you invite people to come onto or into your property and/or home, you assume a certain amount of responsibility to provide a reasonable expectation of safety while there.

I would think that if a guest/child at this birthday party was allowed to swing (when a parent said not to allow the child to swing) and the child fell and broke their arm. I would think the host would be responsible for the medical expenses because it happened on her property under her watch.

I think it's similar to daycare, whether you are being paid to supervise or not, you are still agreeing to supervise and parents leaving their children have a right to have reasonable expectations about the safety of their child.

I don't know for sure but that's kind of my thoughts on it.


BOTH of them seem a bit "of" though so I can kinda see why they are friends. ::

It’s my home and party. I am not planning for my guests. I am planning for my child. Yes, I understand safety is part of my responsibility. If, I ‘ve watch a kid down a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey; witnessed the same kid drink whole milk with no reaction; I am not going to respect the mother’s request to keep her kid away from dairy. I am going to tell her to monitor her child’s dairy intact and act accordingly.

I don’t know how anyone else throws parties. What I do is invite and state parents are responsible for your children during the party. I make it clear I don’t have time to babysit your kid. Parents who call about their special snowflakes allergies get, “You’re welcome to come. I am sorry Alice's chocolate and nuts allergies. My child’s favorite cake is German Chocolate. You are welcome to bring any snack/treat for your child if you decide to attend.”

Yesterday, I threw a BBQ. I didn’t worry about the vegans, gluten free, lactose intolerant guests. I figured they bring what they needed to eat. They brought their kids, food preferences, positive attitude and I wasn’t responsible for any of them. My floors weren’t wet. My dogs were crated and no hazards left on my stairs. Everyone had a good time. The herbivores and carnivores played nice.

[lblanke]

This post makes me sick to my stomach. I have a child who has life threatening peanut allergies. It is nothing to lie about or to take lightly. She is only 2, and I am dreading the days of drop off parties (is senior prom too soon for drop off?). For now, we bring our own food. She is well aware of her allergies, even if she does not know what it really means. She can even describe how to use her epi pen...she tells everyone "press it into your thigh and hold it for 10 seconds...but no way would I leave her at a party unsupervised. Even when she is older, unless the hostess or other responsible adult was trained in the use of her epi pen, symptoms of anaphylaxis and agrees to administer in an emergency, I just cannot see leaving her alone. Even when she is old enough to self-inject, a responsible adult still needs to be trained in case she is incapacitated and cannot. I cannot believe any parent would lie about this, and I cannot believe anyone would feed a child something they are told the child is allergic to. Had hostess mom been wrong, the outcome could have been fatal.

[cheerfuldom]

Lying mom was wrong.

Totally understand party mom's side of it. This has happened to me before. If I know a mom is lying, I disregard whatever they said.

[e.j.]

Both women were wrong in my opinion. The mother of the boy should not have lied. She should have simply told the party host that she didn't want her son to have certain foods at the party and then provided the food she did want him to eat. Party host never should have taken it upon herself to feed the boy something his mother specifically said she didn't want him to eat. It doesn't matter that the other mother lied. The boy is not party host's child so what he eats or doesn't eat is not her decision to make.

Sounds a little like two day care moms I had years ago. Both had been close friends for years and their 2 daughters were also friends. Dcm1 held a birthday party for her child and invited the other girl. Dcm2 was a major control freak when it came to her dd's diet. She told Dcm1 to give her dd one slice of pizza - no more. The little girl was hungry and wanted a second slice so Dcm1 gave her a second one. Dcm2 freaked when she found out, an argument ensued and the friendship ended. I never understood Dcm2's need to control her dd's diet to the degree she did and I understand why Dcm1 gave the girl the second piece of pizza but .... when you get right down to it, it really wasn't her right to do what the other parent specifically told her not to do. Tough situation with a very sad ending.

[momofboys]

Not taking sides either way just stating some facts. Many people with an allergy can eat a certain thing & have NO reaction several times then all of a sudden BAM they could have a life-threatening anaphylactic reaction. So it is possible the child is allergic & isn't supposed to eat said item but possibly he can tolerate it. It's wrong of the mom to lie about it if that is the case & wrong of her to feed him some of these items if he has a true allergy. My son is allergic to peanuts. I do want to point out my son is 13 & he has some VERY compassionate/caring friends. These families go out of their way to make sure my child is safe. If it were not for me trusting other people from time to time he would be alienated & never get out with friends. It helps that he is very careful with what he eats - he has to be, a mistake could cause death.

[craftymissbeth]

I'm curious about which mother took this to the radio station. They both sound wrong to me. Mom #1 sounds like a wackadoodle, but ultimately when you hear a child has a peanut allergy, whether you believe it or not, you don't give the child peanuts... so Mom #2 sounds like a moron. Why risk it like that just to prove someone's a liar? A child's health and life were (possibly) at stake... Mom#2 was just being a nosy idiot, IMO.

[KidGrind]

I'm curious about which mother took this to the radio station. They both sound wrong to me. Mom #1 sounds like a wackadoodle, but ultimately when you hear a child has a peanut allergy, whether you believe it or not, you don't give the child peanuts... so Mom #2 sounds like a moron. Why risk it like that just to prove someone's a liar? A child's health and life were (possibly) at stake... Mom#2 was just being a nosy idiot, IMO.

My interpretation is mother #2 wasn’t testing. She knew due to witnessing the child on multiple occasions various peanut products. Mom #1 just wanted her to enforce a diet.

[craftymissbeth]

My interpretation is mother #2 wasn’t testing. She knew due to witnessing the child on multiple occasions various peanut products. Mom #1 just wanted her to enforce a diet.

If she didn't know 100% for a fact no questions asked confirmed by a doctor that the child wasn't allergic to peanuts then yes, she was testing it to prove a point. Either that or she simply didn't care.

[KidGrind]

If she didn't know 100% for a fact no questions asked confirmed by a doctor that the child wasn't allergic to peanuts then yes, she was testing it to prove a point. Either that or she simply didn't care.

We just interpret the situation differently. She had witnessed the child while in her company eat a PB & J sandwich and Reese’s Peanut Butter cup in the past. I just think the mothers are acquaintances and the party giving mother ignored a request. I feel due to the way I entertain and give parties that each parent is responsible for their child. I agree the party giving mother didn’t care and I am right there with her.

[Cat Herder]

I am outraged and offended that PB&J's were being served at a kids party!! If they expect me to get dressed, drive across the street, and shell out money for a gift, MyChild had better be served a well balanced, organic, macro-biotic meal served by caterers wearing nomex gloves, hairnets with thorough background checks!!! They better not skimp on that goodie bag either, especially with such a lame menu.

Eh, sounds like a brilliant ratings boost gag to me..... ::::

(if you don't speak sarcasm, please note it is thick in this post) :hug:

[cheerfuldom]

bringing celery sticks and having the host deal with telling the kid no while you leave is just plain rude. I would not let another mom let me be the bad guy in this situation. i stand by my earlier post. lying mom was wrong. you shouldnt lie about allergies and you shouldnt bring your own food to a party when you know other food will be served and also when you demand the host to do your dirty work and tell your own kid no while the other kids enjoy.

[Unregistered]

I know this is an older post but, my son is allergic to almonds, sesame and blue dye. We say he is allergic to nuts including peanuts because of cross contamination. We were told to avoid all nuts unless we know they aren't cross contaminated. He does eat peanut butter but, it is Peter Pan peanut butter. I specifically called the company and their peanut butter is not cross contaminated with other nuts or sesame or it would be listed. When a parent says a child is allergic to say peanuts, said child might not be allergic to peanuts but maybe another nut that could be cross contaminated with peanuts. My son eats pecans too but only if we know they came from his grandmothers pecan tree. He has eaten handfuls of almonds also in the past but he was diagnosed with something called Food-dependent exercise-induced anaphylaxis. It has something to do with him eating the offending food and then exercise. Unfortunately, we have had a few very close calls before we figured it out (blue dye in gatorade, almonds and exercise) and he now carries an Epi Pen! Also, if you every hear someone say they are allergic to exercise, they may actually be!!