DEBATE: PB & J Fed To 'Allergic' Kid But Allergy Was A Lie. Whos Side Do You Take?

[MOM OF 4]

OK so today, on the radio, I heard a mom sent her kid to a friend's b-day party.
There were PB & J sandwich slices for the kiddos to have along with a plethora of other things
The mom told her friend "Don't give Johnny PB & J as he is allergic" and brought him celery sticks
The party host states that she'd seen the child eat a Reeses PB Cup the prior week and P B & J sandwiches before
and knew that the child was NOT allergic to PB & J and the mom had lied to her.
So she let the kid have PB & J and nothing happened, as (party mom) knew wouldn't.
The child's mom is VERY upset and said that party mom should have honored her wish,
especially after telling the kid was allergic but party mom argues that since she KNEW
the kid was not allergic and the boy was being made fun of, she didn't see the harm in
it.

Personally, I know a lot of moms lie, but I still would NOT TAKE the risk! You never
know when an allergy could develop.

However, moms who lie are RIDICULOUS! Why on EARTH! She states that she lied because
her kid is 'fat" her words...and she wanted the kid to eat 'healthy snacks' instead of
the 'cheap pb & j' her friend was serving.

I cannot believe a parent would make up a story like this. It sure makes parents look
bad and like liars when they say their child can't have something due to allergic
reaction.

Of course, since my kid is ACTUALLY allergic to PB & J, if I knew it was being served
I would NOT send my child. While HE may know not to eat it, kids with PB & J at a party
= big mess and he could come into contact with it anyway.

So I think they are BOTH wrong. Yes, the friend knew mom was lying, but should not
have served the kid the sandwich. And likewise, mom should not have made up a story. ESPECIALLY
to a friend who she had to have known had SEEN the child eat peanut butter before!

[Thriftylady]

They were both wrong, but if I had known that, at drop off when she said that I would have said "oh well I can't promise it won't happen I guess he shouldn't stay and you can explain to him why". Since the mother just didn't want him to have it she would have likely caved. If not, hopefully the child would see it was MOM who ruined it for him.

[Leigh]

Agree that both are wrong. However, even though THIS mom is lying, people with peanut allergies sometimes CAN eat peanuts (I'm one of those people). Not all peanut allergies cause anaphylaxis and death. For a mom to send her child to a party and ask him to eat celery instead of what the other kids eat is wrong.

[hope]

People say they or their children have allergies all the time to get away with things. It truly harms those that do have allergies bc it has the boy who cried wolf affect. I have heard parents claim that kids are allergic to juice or sugar at parties bc they don't want to sat that they don't allow their child to have those. People are not taking allergies serious bc of this.

Also, highly allergic foods should not be served at a children's party. Not the place for it. If pm & is the birthday boys favorite reserve that for the private family party.

[Josiegirl]

Yep, both were wrong but the mom was stupid about the whole thing too. If she wanted to curb her son's eating because he's 'fat' (I shudder at that word coming from a mom!!) do it on her own time, not at a birthday party! Was he not allowed birthday cake either? That whole thing just screams 'look at me, I'm the fat kid and can't eat normal kid food!', which is NOT the way to handle a child losing weight. That poor kid is destined to grow up with an eating disorder just because of the way mom is handling it.

[KiddieCahoots]

Sounds like a great friendship!

Makes the idea of being a loner that much more appealing .....::......


Years ago I had a dcm who insisted her child could not have pb because of possible allergies (unfounded), yet on other occasions dcm had admitted to her child having had pb crackers.
I went along with it, told dcm that was fine, I would not serve her pb, but on the days that pb was on the menu, she would be notified and would be responsible for supplying her child's lunch that day. Dcm agreed.
On the day I announced to dcm that pb would be on the menu for lunch the next day, dcm quickly changed her tune, and stumbled through the explanation of no allergies, and how she was fine with her child being served pb

[MOM OF 4]

It was on the Monday Morning Machaca with 99.9 JOHNJAY & RICH (WEST COAST CHANNEL) ; I bet it's on their website

[Sugar Magnolia]

As a mom, if I was that concerned about what my child ate at a birthday party, I'd just stay at the party and supervise food consumption myself. :confused:
I'm guessing this mom didn't stay.
As a host, I would have not served him the sandwich (lawsuit reasons).
I also wouldn't have let the boy be teased for his weight or whacky mom or his "allergy".

"Hey mom, I'm fine with not offering him the sandwich and giving him your celery, but this is a party and I'm very busy hosting. Maybe you should stay and make sure he doesn't sneak one, I can't watch the food platters all the time. "

[midaycare]

I think it would be really hard to supervise at a bday party. So mom should have stayed if she had concerned. Also ... Mom is a tool for bringing celery sticks and calling her child fat.

[KiddieCahoots]

It was on the Monday Morning Machaca with 99.9 JOHNJAY & RICH (WEST COAST CHANNEL) ; I bet it's on their website

Hope I didn't come off wrong, I'm not criticizing you or your post.

My gruff is with how frustrating people's stupidity can be

The poor kid should've been allowed to have fun at a birthday party!
Mom should've stayed and observed her child if pb was that much of a concern.
Birthday mom should've told her that.

[Play Care]

As a mom, if I was that concerned about what my child ate at a birthday party, I'd just stay at the party and supervise food consumption myself. :confused:
I'm guessing this mom didn't stay.
As a host, I would have not served him the sandwich (lawsuit reasons).
I also wouldn't have let the boy be teased for his weight or whacky mom or his "allergy".

"Hey mom, I'm fine with not offering him the sandwich and giving him your celery, but this is a party and I'm very busy hosting. Maybe you should stay and make sure he doesn't sneak one, I can't watch the food platters all the time. "

My feeling is that if mom felt comfortable dropping the child off, he was probably old enough to know what he should and shouldn't be eating. When we've hosted events and have had kids with allergies, they are better at policing the food then we could ever be. If the mom didn't feel confident her child would do that, she should have stayed. I think it was wrong to put it on the hostess who may be too busy with other kids to monitor the one child's every moment - now I would never purposely serve a child something I know their parent didn't want them to have, but clearly the child made the choice to eat it (and that is very odd knowing the kids I know with allergies).

[Sugar Magnolia]

Yep! I knew a little girl once who had a severe allergy, the first word she learned to read was "nut", so she could check ingredients herself by the time she was 3 or 4.

[KidGrind]

The mom is wrong.

The party giver doesn’t have to respect anyone’s request. Also she does not have to supervise every child’s food intake at a party. She knew the child was not allergic. She did nothing wrong. She just ignored a lying mother’s request who should have been monitoring what her child ate if it was a real important concern of hers.

[MOM OF 4]

Hope I didn't come off wrong, I'm not criticizing you or your post.

My gruff is with how frustrating people's stupidity can be

The poor kid should've been allowed to have fun at a birthday party!
Mom should've stayed and observed her child if pb was that much of a concern.
Birthday mom should've told her that.

Oh no! I was just trying to get everyone to the story, but I'm terrible about finding links. LOL It was broadcasted this morning on the radio on my way to work. The things I listen to! ::


OMG I FOUND THE LINK TO THE FB thing at least. I wanted to quote the podcast.

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?id=52565371644&story_fbid=10152451299196645

[Blackcat31]

The mom is wrong.

The party giver doesn’t have to respect anyone’s request. Also she does not have to supervise every child’s food intake at a party. She knew the child was not allergic. She did nothing wrong. She just ignored a lying mother’s request who should have been monitoring what her child ate if it was a real important concern of hers.

I'm not sure about the party giver not having to respect anyone's wishes.... I believe when you invite people to come onto or into your property and/or home, you assume a certain amount of responsibility to provide a reasonable expectation of safety while there.

I would think that if a guest/child at this birthday party was allowed to swing (when a parent said not to allow the child to swing) and the child fell and broke their arm. I would think the host would be responsible for the medical expenses because it happened on her property under her watch.

I think it's similar to daycare, whether you are being paid to supervise or not, you are still agreeing to supervise and parents leaving their children have a right to have reasonable expectations about the safety of their child.

I don't know for sure but that's kind of my thoughts on it.


BOTH of them seem a bit "of" though so I can kinda see why they are friends. ::