Why So Mean?

[Unregistered]

Wow! I have a 4 year old dcg that is just the same but everytime i put her in a timeout for bad behavior she screams at the top of her lungs that im beating, hitting, throwning her when im 20 feet from her. Im afraid that my neighbors would call the cops because it happens at least once a day. Then today i found out from her 10 year old brother and 6year old sister that she tells her mom and her boyfriend everyday that i beat her before they come to daycare. The family Ida dealing with cps on sexual abuse on this little girl but I'm afraid that she will tell them lies also. I have told the boyfriend(as he is the one that drops off and does most of the pick ups) about each time she is mean or doesn't listen out screams like that. I have told the mom but she does nothing when she sees her kids hitting and bitting each other at pick upand just says they don't do this at home. My husband's thinks i should give them one week to fit this problem as its been told to them for 2.5 months now or they have to find a new daycare for all 5 of their children. I have taken care of kids for 20 years now and never had kids this bad. They smile and laugh when someone gets hurt or in trouble. Any other ideas on how to handle this?

[debbiedoeszip]

I have a friend who works (as in provides professional therapy) with children who have very difficult behaviours. Her advice would probably be (this is based on advice she has given in similar situations) that if the behaviour is merely unpleasant (not violent or destructive) towards another child, then give a brief "that's not nice" or "we don't treat others like that" and then make a big fuss over the "victim" ("Oh, sweetie, are you ok? It doesn't feel very nice when someone shouts at you, does it? There, there. Would you like to do a special activity with me?". Also, make a big (positive) fuss over anyone communicating properly or showing kindness/patience/sharing to others.

[NightOwl]

Wow! I have a 4 year old dcg that is just the same but everytime i put her in a timeout for bad behavior she screams at the top of her lungs that im beating, hitting, throwning her when im 20 feet from her. Im afraid that my neighbors would call the cops because it happens at least once a day. Then today i found out from her 10 year old brother and 6year old sister that she tells her mom and her boyfriend everyday that i beat her before they come to daycare. The family Ida dealing with cps on sexual abuse on this little girl but I'm afraid that she will tell them lies also. I have told the boyfriend(as he is the one that drops off and does most of the pick ups) about each time she is mean or doesn't listen out screams like that. I have told the mom but she does nothing when she sees her kids hitting and bitting each other at pick upand just says they don't do this at home. My husband's thinks i should give them one week to fit this problem as its been told to them for 2.5 months now or they have to find a new daycare for all 5 of their children. I have taken care of kids for 20 years now and never had kids this bad. They smile and laugh when someone gets hurt or in trouble. Any other ideas on how to handle this?

Woah.... My only advice here is to hand them their walking papers IMMEDIATELY. And I don't say that lightly because I would always rather attempt to solve the issues and termination be a last resort. But this little girl is a threat to your very livelihood and your reputation. With cps already in their business, you are in serious danger of being investigated for child abuse. And this has been going on for 2.5 months? I think you are fortunate that they haven't come knocking yet. Let these people go before they ruin you! And call your licensing rep to tell her the entire situation. 5 kids, that's a huge loss, but not as huge as being shut down pending an investigation.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Yes, the continual cycle of self-reflection.

I think my son had issues because it hurt his feeling when others thought he was being mean (and hurting their feelings) and coupled with the fact he took everything others said very personally made social exchanges hard for him.

Now, it seems he prefaces almost everything he says with some form of
"Don't take this the wrong way..." or "I don't mean this rudely" or some version of a "pre-apology" just in case others misinterpret his intentions.

Makes me sad that he feels he has to "correct" himself before he even says anything.

I do that all the time to my clients. How interesting.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Woah.... My only advice here is to hand them their walking papers IMMEDIATELY. And I don't say that lightly because I would always rather attempt to solve the issues and termination be a last resort. But this little girl is a threat to your very livelihood and your reputation. With cps already in their business, you are in serious danger of being investigated for child abuse. And this has been going on for 2.5 months? I think you are fortunate that they haven't come knocking yet. Let these people go before they ruin you! And call your licensing rep to tell her the entire situation. 5 kids, that's a huge loss, but not as huge as being shut down pending an investigation.

I totally agree. I wouldn't care for her for one more SECOND.

[Indianadaycare]

Woah.... My only advice here is to hand them their walking papers IMMEDIATELY. And I don't say that lightly because I would always rather attempt to solve the issues and termination be a last resort. But this little girl is a threat to your very livelihood and your reputation. With cps already in their business, you are in serious danger of being investigated for child abuse. And this has been going on for 2.5 months? I think you are fortunate that they haven't come knocking yet. Let these people go before they ruin you! And call your licensing rep to tell her the entire situation. 5 kids, that's a huge loss, but not as huge as being shut down pending an investigation.

Absolutely agree!! I would terminate immediately or risk losing everything you've worked 20 years for. Good luck! I'm sorry you've had to deal with this. :hug:

[Unregistered]

I so want to kick them to the curb but I finally got my paperwork from the state today so I can get my back payment and just found out that the state is only going to pay from 7/13/14 and I started watching them 5/7/13 with only covering 30 per week for only 4 of the children. So this lady with her copayment owes me over $3500 for the childcare I have already provided. I really could use that money right now but don't think I'll even see any of it from her. I have truly learned my lessen with this lady and how I'm going to change my contract and set rules for my house in writing. I'm dropping the family but any ideas of how to get the money they owe me. I have talked with her caseworker and found out many lies that the mother told me about paperwork being in and etc haven't been true. Any ideas how to get her to pay me if I drop her first or should I wait till she starts paying then drop her and take her to court for the rest?

[Angelsj]

I so want to kick them to the curb but I finally got my paperwork from the state today so I can get my back payment and just found out that the state is only going to pay from 7/13/14 and I started watching them 5/7/13 with only covering 30 per week for only 4 of the children. So this lady with her copayment owes me over $3500 for the childcare I have already provided. I really could use that money right now but don't think I'll even see any of it from her. I have truly learned my lessen with this lady and how I'm going to change my contract and set rules for my house in writing. I'm dropping the family but any ideas of how to get the money they owe me. I have talked with her caseworker and found out many lies that the mother told me about paperwork being in and etc haven't been true. Any ideas how to get her to pay me if I drop her first or should I wait till she starts paying then drop her and take her to court for the rest?

Even if she didn't have the paperwork in, if you provided services and she was eligible at the time, when you go to small claims, add your oversight agency (ours is DHS, but use whatever yours is) as part of the claim.
In a similar situation (also with five kids) I won the suit and DHS paid all but $40 of the claim.

[MissAnn]

I have an update on my mean girl......

This morning was a repeat of the morning a few weeks ago when she screamed at a boy when he arrived after he told her hello. This morning she yelled "NO THANK YOU!!!!" just because he said hello to her. The mom seemed not to notice. I brought it to her attention and told her we are working on her social skills.....that she doesn't have to play with the other kids, she can politely say, "no thank you"....but if a kid says hello to her she should say "hello" back.

Her mom said.....I have NEVER seen her act like that?

I said.....do you remember the other day? It was the same situation. We are working on her social skills though. I just wanted you to be aware.

Has she met her child? Her child acts like this 75% of the time!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have an update on my mean girl......

This morning was a repeat of the morning a few weeks ago when she screamed at a boy when he arrived after he told her hello. This morning she yelled "NO THANK YOU!!!!" just because he said hello to her. The mom seemed not to notice. I brought it to her attention and told her we are working on her social skills.....that she doesn't have to play with the other kids, she can politely say, "no thank you"....but if a kid says hello to her she should say "hello" back.

Her mom said.....I have NEVER seen her act like that?

I said.....do you remember the other day? It was the same situation. We are working on her social skills though. I just wanted you to be aware.

Has she met her child? Her child acts like this 75% of the time!

That is just sad.