Terminated Family is Hurt/Angry

[MOM OF 4]

Hi, Everyone! I'm new here so please bear with me if I post in the wrong place or dont use acronyms where I should.
5.5 month old DCK screams most of the day. I don't mean cries--she screams. Sometimes it starts if I look from her to another baby. Most times, there is no apparent reason. She'll be smiling and seem happy, then just starts screaming. It is very stressful for the other babies who were happy for the most part but now cry a lot of the time too. When I have spoken to DCM about it, she acts shocked but did let it slip one time that DCK does the same thing with DCD when DCM takes a shower or tries to do anything besides holding her. They are also a difficult family to deal with--want an hour and a half window for drop-off and pick-up, asked me not to make personal appointments that require me to leave at pick-up time without checking with them first (?!), just little things like that constantly. They have been with me for 2.5 months and things just continue to get worse. I've been thinking about terminating for a couple of weeks and yesterday decided not to let it go another day. I sugar-coated it with a basic "She doesn't seem to be adjusting to the environment that I provide and may be happier elsewhere but I'll be happy to have her in my care for 2 weeks while you look for other care". DCM didn't really say anything but I could tell she was mad. Shortly after, I got a long voicemail from DCD then a long text saying that they were totally blind-sided, 2 weeks isnt long enough, could I take her until the end of August, this is a really bad time for me to put them through this, I should know how to deal with a crying baby, could they get a refund... then it was her turn. She sent me a message saying that she would look for care right away since she didnt want her child somewhere that she wasnt wanted. Between them, I got about 4 sad messages from her and 6 angry texts, voicemails and phone calls from him. I was feeling horrible but his behavior made me decide to give short responses and refuse to engage. I did give them a letter as well, effective August 8. They are paid through next week and he left me a message saying that they may or may not use "their last week". When I messaged telling him it doesnt work that way and that if they decided to remove her early, payment for the final week would be due upon drop-off next week, he left me a message saying "good luck getting any more money from us". I really don't care about getting more money from them. I just dont want to deal with the hostile DCD at this point. I haven't responded since he said that but my worry is that he is the type to show up and try to drop her off after all of that. I'm emotional about this too so was hoping for some level-headed suggestions and advice.
Thanks in advance.

I would not let them in the door if they show up.

I'd also write a text:

Dear Dad/Mom.

Due to the tone of your emails, texts and voice messages, I will not be accepting (snowflake) back into care for their last two weeks. No refunds are given. I hope you are able to secure the care you need and do wish you the best.

Sincerely,
beaten up and tired of it Provider


ADDING: I agree with PP that says give licensing a heads up bc parents like these are the ones that make up stories

[dani987]

Thank you, everyone! You are all so funny, brilliant and supportive. It's great to get feedback from people who understand. How did I not find this site years ago?! I'm such a big baby and I feel like you all just gathered around me and gave me a big hug. (I know, I'm a dork)

[Heidi]

I would not let them in the door if they show up.

I'd also write a text:

Dear Dad/Mom.

Due to the tone of your emails, texts and voice messages, I will not be accepting (snowflake) back into care for their last two weeks. No refunds are given. I hope you are able to secure the care you need and do wish you the best.

Sincerely,
beaten up and tired of it Provider


ADDING: I agree with PP that says give licensing a heads up bc parents like these are the ones that make up stories

Refrain from adding:

"Good luck getting that money back from me". ::

:hug:

[NightOwl]

Thank you, everyone! You are all so funny, brilliant and supportive. It's great to get feedback from people who understand. How did I not find this site years ago?! I'm such a big baby and I feel like you all just gathered around me and gave me a big hug. (I know, I'm a dork)

Nope, not a dork. We did exactly that.

[Shell]

I had a family like this a long time ago, and I made the mistake of engaging in a back and forth with them where dcm first got angry and insulting, and then she tried to make me feel badly because I left them without care. Sometimes you just have to do what is right for you.Nannyde is very right in comparing it to a breakup, and once I thought of it in those terms, it was easy to understand that parents want the upper hand and don't like being told, "no". I like the letters others suggested above and agree they should never ever return! Just the facts of care terminated effective immediately- no emotion, no replying to dcm or dcd. Sorry they are being this way!

[daycarediva]

STOP ENGAGING. NO more responding.

I would send ONE final email.

I would say that:

Their child has been a welcome addition to your group. You have attempted to integrate her into your care for X time frame. The child is NOT adjusting as well as you had hoped. You are looking out for THEIR child's best interest and believe he/she would flourish with a (lower ratio/nanny) due to the child's need for more 1:1 attention.

they are welcome to use their final two weeks, UNLESS there are any further incidents of rudeness, disrespect or violation of policy. Then termination will be effective IMMEDIATELY. NO refunds.

The final payment is due X date. Dck's final date will be X.

Refer them to their contract/parent handbook regarding the final two weeks of care. (mine outlines that if not paid in full balances, including late fees, court fees and missed work, will be taken to court.) I have received a judgment of over DOUBLE what was initially owed. I WOULD pursue the matter if they skip out if at all possible.

End with wishing them the best of luck in their search for childcare.



Retain your professionalism. Be polite. Stick to the contract.


Call your registrar/licensar for a heads up. They may report you.

[daycare]

Sorry diva I disagree..

I would write one last letter via email and cert mail. But I would do as MV said and not allow them to come back at all. They have shown how ugly they can be and you don't need this to get any worse. Do not give them any more chances to take stabs at you or act out in front of other families.

Send any belonging back and tell them that due to the level of harassment and disrespect on their part that all services are immediately terminated indefinitely and there is no further need for communication.

I would explain in that letter that in group care it's what's in the best interest of all of the children and you did everything you could to help her adjust but it was not working. It is your responsibility to make sure all children are in a safe secure environment and when a baby screams like that it's not conducive to the the child or the rest of the children.

I think we hve all been through one of these crazy parents who don't seem to understand group care and still chose to do their way that works for them.

So sorry you are going through this.

[MOM OF 4]

I honestly would not bother to explain the rest of it. Their rude behavior is what ultimately would get them an IMMEDIATE termination. They had the opportunity to bring their child the last 2 weeks, and blew it by being JERKS. For the benefit of your group and the safety of your home and daycare kids, I would not accept them back and send them a simple letter like the idea I submitted above.

[TwinKristi]

I agree, immediate termination. Greatly disrespectful and unpredictable. Write an email and send certified letter saying so. I would personally refund just to get rid of them if you're not protected by your contract. I have it in my contract that upon termination for violating the contract and immediate termination they forfeit any prepaid funds or deposits.

[dani987]

Just an update:
Throughout the weekend, DCM continued to send messages and wanted to meet with me to "have closure". I told her I wasn't comfortable with that at this time but she kept insisting. She needed to come and retrieve her belongings anyway because I had a supply of milk and she was using that as a reason to try to interact. I had all of her things ready expecting her to text me and say she was down the street, could she come by? at some random time. Sure enough, that's what happened. I wasn't home, but I told her that I would have someone at my house place her things outside and she was welcome to go by and pick them up. I had a cooler out and instructed my nephew to put the milk in it and put that and the bag of clothes, etc. outside on a little table on my porch. I was very careful to get everything but there there was a pacifier that we had lost while out on a walk and--Cheerfuldom called it!--DCM texted me saying that there should be one more pacifier! I messaged back that it had been lost but I would be happy to buy her another and send it to her. She called. I didnt answer. Then she texted to tell me that I'm ridiculous and to please dont ever contact her again. Not a problem!

[NightOwl]

Just an update:
Throughout the weekend, DCM continued to send messages and wanted to meet with me to "have closure". I told her I wasn't comfortable with that at this time but she kept insisting. She needed to come and retrieve her belongings anyway because I had a supply of milk and she was using that as a reason to try to interact. I had all of her things ready expecting her to text me and say she was down the street, could she come by? at some random time. Sure enough, that's what happened. I wasn't home, but I told her that I would have someone at my house place her things outside and she was welcome to go by and pick them up. I had a cooler out and instructed my nephew to put the milk in it and put that and the bag of clothes, etc. outside on a little table on my porch. I was very careful to get everything but there there was a pacifier that we had lost while out on a walk and--Cheerfuldom called it!--DCM texted me saying that there should be one more pacifier! I messaged back that it had been lost but I would be happy to buy her another and send it to her. She called. I didnt answer. Then she texted to tell me that I'm ridiculous and to please dont ever contact her again. Not a problem!

YOU'RE ridiculous?? How in the world does she figure that? Why does she need closure? You've know her for what? 3 months??

[KidGrind]

Just an update:
Throughout the weekend, DCM continued to send messages and wanted to meet with me to "have closure". I told her I wasn't comfortable with that at this time but she kept insisting. She needed to come and retrieve her belongings anyway because I had a supply of milk and she was using that as a reason to try to interact. I had all of her things ready expecting her to text me and say she was down the street, could she come by? at some random time. Sure enough, that's what happened. I wasn't home, but I told her that I would have someone at my house place her things outside and she was welcome to go by and pick them up. I had a cooler out and instructed my nephew to put the milk in it and put that and the bag of clothes, etc. outside on a little table on my porch. I was very careful to get everything but there there was a pacifier that we had lost while out on a walk and--Cheerfuldom called it!--DCM texted me saying that there should be one more pacifier! I messaged back that it had been lost but I would be happy to buy her another and send it to her. She called. I didnt answer. Then she texted to tell me that I'm ridiculous and to please dont ever contact her again. Not a problem!

Closure = You.Are.Termed

What the **** does she want from you? Anyhow I need All Knowing Daycare Whisperer Extraordinaire & Professional Parent Reader NannyDe to break this down for me.

I do not get it.

[Unregistered]

Looks like someone was having difficulty not having the upper hand, or wanting to get some last words in face to face. Done is done, time to move on. I would have giggled at the request never to contact her again, especially after getting that one last little jab in first calling you ridiculous

Enjoy your less stressful days ahead.

[CraftyMom]

"Don't contact me ever again" That's a good one! Because YOU have been texting and calling THEM and leaving voicemails and messages. ::::::

Sometimes you just have to laugh!

Now that she has her closure you can move on happyface

It's probably good that it ended this way. Mom sounds like she would have been more trouble down the road

[hope]

Enjoy yourself now that the drama is behind you!