Terminated Family is Hurt/Angry

[dani987]

Hi, Everyone! I'm new here so please bear with me if I post in the wrong place or dont use acronyms where I should.
5.5 month old DCK screams most of the day. I don't mean cries--she screams. Sometimes it starts if I look from her to another baby. Most times, there is no apparent reason. She'll be smiling and seem happy, then just starts screaming. It is very stressful for the other babies who were happy for the most part but now cry a lot of the time too. When I have spoken to DCM about it, she acts shocked but did let it slip one time that DCK does the same thing with DCD when DCM takes a shower or tries to do anything besides holding her. They are also a difficult family to deal with--want an hour and a half window for drop-off and pick-up, asked me not to make personal appointments that require me to leave at pick-up time without checking with them first (?!), just little things like that constantly. They have been with me for 2.5 months and things just continue to get worse. I've been thinking about terminating for a couple of weeks and yesterday decided not to let it go another day. I sugar-coated it with a basic "She doesn't seem to be adjusting to the environment that I provide and may be happier elsewhere but I'll be happy to have her in my care for 2 weeks while you look for other care". DCM didn't really say anything but I could tell she was mad. Shortly after, I got a long voicemail from DCD then a long text saying that they were totally blind-sided, 2 weeks isnt long enough, could I take her until the end of August, this is a really bad time for me to put them through this, I should know how to deal with a crying baby, could they get a refund... then it was her turn. She sent me a message saying that she would look for care right away since she didnt want her child somewhere that she wasnt wanted. Between them, I got about 4 sad messages from her and 6 angry texts, voicemails and phone calls from him. I was feeling horrible but his behavior made me decide to give short responses and refuse to engage. I did give them a letter as well, effective August 8. They are paid through next week and he left me a message saying that they may or may not use "their last week". When I messaged telling him it doesnt work that way and that if they decided to remove her early, payment for the final week would be due upon drop-off next week, he left me a message saying "good luck getting any more money from us". I really don't care about getting more money from them. I just dont want to deal with the hostile DCD at this point. I haven't responded since he said that but my worry is that he is the type to show up and try to drop her off after all of that. I'm emotional about this too so was hoping for some level-headed suggestions and advice.
Thanks in advance.

[cheerfuldom]

Honestly I would just refund whatever you have to and term immediately. I would let them know that you no longer wish to work with them at all after their recent behavior. Make sure you have something in writing, send refund via certified mail, and return any remaining items she left there......anything small. people here have posted about parents wanting pacifiers, mismatched socks and other super random stuff. If you are licensed, call your licensing agency and give them a heads up because these parents sound like the kind to file a complaint.

[MarinaVanessa]

Ditto as above. I wouldn't take them back for even one more day. I would send an email or text and let them know that they were not welcome to come back again.

"I was looking out for the well being of your baby who I don't believe is adjusting well. I was willing to give you 2 weeks to find other arrangements, which is typical for family child care. After your previous consistent hostile texts emails and voicemails I have decided that it is in everyone's best interest to terminate our agreement effective immediately. I will send a refund check for the following week of care along with all of your child's belongings via certified mail. There is no need to call me. Do not come to my home. All future communication will only be done in writing."

[dani987]

Thank you, Cheerfuldom and MV for excellent suggestions. I am feeling so wiped out and depressed from that barrage that I was questioning whether I was being fair and what I could have done differently.

[Laurel]

I agree with what everyone above said.

Besides that, it is really unreasonable of her to say that you should know how to deal with a crying baby. Does she not realize that when a baby cries all day it affects the other children? I've had plenty of times where a child is just fussy and others 'copy' the behavior. It is even kind of funny sometimes because one will cry and another will fake cry to imitate it and they all start! It is not fair to the other children in your care to hear crying all day. It is stressful for everyone. She might need a nanny at her house.

I just recently retired but what I always did was not to have any policy for leaving in my contract. A parent could leave anytime they wanted but I 'requested' notice. I didn't have a thing in my contract about terminating. If I would have wanted to terminate someone I would have given them enough time to find someone else but I had nothing in writing requiring me to. I figured that if either party wanted to end it then just end it. I'd rather eat the loss of income until I found someone else than deal with having people like you describe for another two weeks. The money isn't worth it to me.
Know what I mean?

Don't take it personally (although I know that is hard). A screaming baby like that needs specialized care like a nanny could provide. It is too much to expect of group care.

Laurel

[lovemykidstoo]

Ditto as above. I wouldn't take them back for even one more day. I would send an email or text and let them know that they were not welcome to come back again.

"I was looking out for the well being of your baby who I don't believe is adjusting well. I was willing to give you 2 weeks to find other arrangements, which is typical for family child care. After your previous consistent hostile texts emails and voicemails I have decided that it is in everyone's best interest to terminate our agreement effective immediately. I will send a refund check for the following week of care along with all of your child's belongings via certified mail. There is no need to call me. Do not come to my home. All future communication will only be done in writing."

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with not only a screaming baby, but now screaming adults. Ridiculous. I would definately send this above and then not respond at all. No matter what. They are behaving horribly. I had to term like that once, but the mother acknowledged that the baby did it at home too. She actually said that she was surprised I kept her that long. She actually brought me a present the next day as a goodbye gift. You can't tell me that baby doesn't scream at home. Of course unless they have her straddled on them all day. Good luck!!

[nannyde]

Breakin up is hard to do.

I do break ups differently. I tell them I won't accept money from them from this day forward and they can bring the child for free for as long as it takes to find care. That makes them furious and they leave right away and turn me into the DHS.

Works for me.

I am going to add a new service in my consulting business. You can hire me to write your term letter and break up with your daycare parent. The provider can tell the parent that all communication about the term goes to the consultant and my phone number will appear on the term letter.

I will run $25 break up specials at least four times a year.

[Heidi]

Breakin up is hard to do.

I do break ups differently. I tell them I won't accept money from them from this day forward and they can bring the child for free for as long as it takes to find care. That makes them furious and they leave right away and turn me into the DHS.

Works for me.

I am going to add a new service in my consulting business. You can hire me to write your term letter and break up with your daycare parent. The provider can tell the parent that all communication about the term goes to the consultant and my phone number will appear on the term letter.

I will run $25 break up specials at least four times a year.

::::::::::

[lovemykidstoo]

Breakin up is hard to do.

I do break ups differently. I tell them I won't accept money from them from this day forward and they can bring the child for free for as long as it takes to find care. That makes them furious and they leave right away and turn me into the DHS.

Works for me.

I am going to add a new service in my consulting business. You can hire me to write your term letter and break up with your daycare parent. The provider can tell the parent that all communication about the term goes to the consultant and my phone number will appear on the term letter.

I will run $25 break up specials at least four times a year.

You are hilarous! But, why woudl the bolded part make them mad? Do I just not have enough coffee in me? LOL

[nannyde]

You are hilarous! But, why woudl the bolded part make them mad? Do I just not have enough coffee in me? LOL

They can't be the boss of free.

[nannyde]

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24291&highlight=inspection

[melilley]

They can't be the boss of free.

Ah ha, that's brilliant!

[lovemykidstoo]

They can't be the boss of free.

ahhh got ya hahaha

[Josiegirl]

Wow, they've got a lot of nerve! Dealing with a screaming baby is so much more bearable when there are 2 adults playing tag team and no other kids. Group care is entirely different. I know it's easy to say yet difficult to do but cut the ties and be done with them emotionally too. Sometimes that's the part that takes the longest. We tend to beat ourselves up with the 'what ifs' and 'should haves'. Don't do that.
You've been professional right along and know what the right thing to do is. Don't let them make you second guess yourself.

[NightOwl]

Thank you, Cheerfuldom and MV for excellent suggestions. I am feeling so wiped out and depressed from that barrage that I was questioning whether I was being fair and what I could have done differently.

That's what entitled people do. What?! You won't care for my screaming snowflake?? You won't won't allow the other babies to be upset by my screaming snowflake?? WHY NOT? It's not convenient for me for you to look out for other people's children too!! You must not be doing it right. My screaming snowflake should be able to scream constantly. You're doing something wrong.