Just Received a Text From DCM

[Angelsj]

The only reply text she would have gotten from me is:

My house, my rules.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

There is not an eye roll big enough.

I have said before, "GOOD. I WANT dck to be upset. It means they understand they did something wrong."

[Meeko]

She says she'll talk with DCD about it....I hope he tells her she's rude and should apologize to you!

[hope]

Why is it so hard for these parents to say...ok miss daycare diva you were right and my reaction was uncalled for. I apologize.

But no, seems this dcm will keep the debate going. Now she I'll involve dcd???

[nannyde]

Tell the mom to go buy you a new one and you will let dcg play with the broken one.

[nannyde]

When she arrives in the morning she will ask right away if she gets to play with it.

[nannyde]

She sent back a and said she would talk to dcd. So what if you talk to dcd?

I am sending her this quote from my discipline policy. I follow it to the letter. She signed agreeing to it.



and then I am thinking about adding this: ?

Dcm, I followed my guidance policy precisely. I use time out only as a last resort and focus on natural/logical consequences. As we discussed previously, we both believe time outs are overused and I do what I can to prevent incidents from escalating to the point that a child is unable to control herself and has to be removed from the situation. Dcg was asked not to put anything but the toast into the toaster, and within a few minutes shoved a cookie into it hard enough to break the toaster. Even if I had been willing, the toaster was not in usable condition. ***** was given the opportunity to apologize for breaking it, was forgiven, and we moved on with clean up. Yes she was upset and I do think she learned to be more gentle from this incident.

I would add

She must stop breaking my toys and follow directions. She was told to stop shoving the cookie in and she refused to follow my direction. Possibly I should have put her in time out in addition to taking the toy away. Next time I will do both.

[daycarediva]

No response. I have the broken toaster by the front door for Mom to examine in the morning, as I'm SURE I'll be asked.

At snack, my 6yo son made a mess under the table despite asking him to scoot his chair in. After snack, my 6yo cleaned up under the table. He grumbled, he sulked, he got over it. At dinner, ds scooted his chair in and didn't make a mess. If ds had SAT IN TIME OUT while I CLEANED HIS MESS, what would HE have learned?

My first mistake was answering her back after hours. I should know better. Maybe I need a time out!

[daycarediva]

I would add

She must stop breaking my toys and follow directions. She was told to stop shoving the cookie in and she refused to follow my direction. Possibly I should have put her in time out in addition to taking the toy away. Next time I will do both.

:: that's what I should ask if she preferred I do next time! ::

[CraftyMom]

She says she'll talk with DCD about it....I hope he tells her she's rude and should apologize to you!

She'll talk to her about it....I had a dcm who said she would talk to dcb about sharing...ends up she told him she would buy him a toy that he was having trouble sharing at daycare (my toy, not his). So instead of talking about how to share with his friends he got one of his own that he doesn't have to share...learned nothing!

Maybe mom talking to her about it means she will buy her a toaster of her very own ::

eta: I read that wrong, thought she said she would talk to dcg about it

[e.j.]

She sent back a and said she would talk to dcd.

:: Wow. So she's tattling on you to her husband? Are you supposed to be intimidated by this? I give you credit for handling it as well as you're handling it!

[preschoolteacher]

She's going to want to SEE the toaster????

Rolling my eyes...

[cheerfuldom]

"talk to dcd"? why?!!

my word, some moms have nothing better to do then agonize over every step their child makes. I love it when teachers and others correct my kids (assuming its called for!) because they need that social push to tell them to knock it off. That's pretty effective.

[AmyKidsCo]

But YOU didn't impose any consequence on her - she broke the toy so it had to be taken out of the environment. Broken toys have to be thrown away. Period.

[debbiedoeszip]

Upset that I took a toy away from dcg.

Age 4.

She jammed a counting cookie inside the toy toaster. It got stuck (we did toaster surgery with two butter knives and it broke the cookie!), I removed the cookie and told her that if she did it again, she couldn't play with the toaster. She did it again, this time so bad it BROKE THE TOASTER.

SERIOUSLY DCM!!!!!

text: Dcg is "so very upset" that she couldn't play with it anymore. I don't think that was an appropriate response. Maybe a time out next time?

I responded:

The other kids are "so very upset" that they couldn't play with it either, since the toy is now broken. I did warn dcg the first time she did it. I find logical consequences work better than sitting out.

I'm getting snarky!

we shall see.

Oooooh, she's THAT mom. When her precious snowflake is in college she'll still be swooping in via helicopter to save the day and make sure that the "little one" never has to face consequences.

I'd stay firm on your discipline policies and practices even if it means that they find another provider.