Bathroom Mom

[MissLiz610]

Please I need some suggestions! I run a licensed child care center in PA. I have a mom who is a handful to say the least. Nothing horrible, but I always have to remind her Friday is tuition day, call if you are running late, you must stick to your schedule, etc. She is just very unorganized in life and drives me a bit nutty.

Yesterday I was gone already when she came to pick up her daughter. My Director told me that she came in and used the bathroom..and was in there for 20 minutes!!!! This is NOT the first time she's used the bathroom or been in there for awhile! I mean, she is coming from school and lives 5 minutes away. I find it hard to believe that it is truly some kind of stomach emergency.

I just added a vestibule at my front door, so that it stops what seems like the easy flow of in and out all the time. But what do I say if she asks to use the bathroom?? Our state regs says we have to make the center ACCESSIBLE to parents, but not hole up in the bathroom for 20 minutes at a time! It's awkward! And I never thought I'd have to worry about something so silly.

I would REALLY appreciate the input from you guys!! Thanks!

[nannyde]

Just start knocking on the door and asking her if she is alright. Give five minutes and start knocking. She is most likely on her phone.

Is she supposed to have her kid picked up at a certain time? She may be stalling getting her kid because she doesn't want to go home but she doesn't have anywhere free to hang out during the stall.

Any chance she is shooting up in there?

[MissLiz610]

Just start knocking on the door and asking her if she is alright. Give five minutes and start knocking. She is most likely on her phone.

Is she supposed to have her kid picked up at a certain time? She may be stalling getting her kid because she doesn't want to go home but she doesn't have anywhere free to hang out during the stall.

Any chance she is shooting up in there?

These are both actually possibilities. One of my staff members knows the family through friends and there are tales of fighting, excessive alcohol, and pot use. She picks up at 2:30pm and the boyfriend works later so I think it's ok for her to go home at that time. I am afraid she may be doing something more in the bathroom and that's why I really don't want her in there at all! But not sure if I can just DENY her access to the bathroom or how I would go about denying it!

[nannyde]

I would knock on the door after five minutes and say "are you ok?" Then at ten minutes knock and say "are you sick?"

Then when she comes out tell her you notice she has been spending 20 minutes in there every day and ask her if she is sick.

Tell her you can't have the bathroom tied up for more than a few minutes at a time.

[MissLiz610]

I will give this a try. Thanks for the help!

[e.j.]

Does she leave her dd in your care while she's using the bathroom? If so, wonder if you could tell her that she'll have to pay for the extra time her child is in your care? Since she's supposed to be picked up at 2:30 but isn't leaving until almost 3:00, you could offer to change her pick up time to 3:00. Maybe if she has to pay for the extra time, she'll leave faster?

[midaycare]

Tell her other kids are waiting?

[NightOwl]

That's what I was thinking. Knock, knock. Are you Ok? Yes, I'm fine! Oh Ok, I'll wait. Then start talking loudly outside the door so she knows you're actually standing there. Next time, have another employee do it.

[Crazy8]

Tell her other kids are waiting?

This is what I was going to suggest. I think it makes us look petty to say a parent can not use the bathroom, but I would do the knock knock are you ok at 5 min. and then by 10 min. tell her a child really needs to use the bathroom. Then the next time she does it I would confront her afterwards and ask if there is a problem. Let her know that with young kids with small bladders you can not have the bathroom tied up for that length of time and maybe she'd be more comfortable waiting the 5 min. till she got home.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

That's what I was thinking. Knock, knock. Are you Ok? Yes, I'm fine! Oh Ok, I'll wait. Then start talking loudly outside the door so she knows you're actually standing there. Next time, have another employee do it.

That is what I would do.

[midaycare]

Has bathroom mom been back?

[Chellieleanne]

Is that the only restroom available for staff and parents or are there others? If it is parents only, maybe tape a sign that it says out of order for a few days just before she arrives to pick up, if the other less obvious methods are not working. 20 min every day is way too long, especially the same time. Something weird is going on there and I wouldn't hesitate to say drug use either.

[Learning Daycare]

She reminds me of...

I worked in a restaurant years ago and there was this lady who always came in. She would order a water, head to the bathroom for about 15-20 minutes, order a soup or salad and leave. She would always come in during our slow times. When i worker would use the bathroom, they always noticed toilet paper EVERYWHERE. It was like she threw it up in the air like confetti. ANd she always clogged the toilet! IDK what she was doing but it was very, very, very weird. Finally, we called her out on it. It was very disrespectful to our establishment. Needless to say, she never came back!

[Unregistered]

Maybe its the only time she gets the bathroom to herself.

[AmyKidsCo]

Is that the only restroom available for staff and parents or are there others?

I was going to ask the same question - if she's using a single-stall adult bathroom and there's a way to open it from the outside I'd lock it shut (empty) before she's due to arrive. Direct her to one of the toddler toilets with the half-doors and no privacy instead. ::