"I Am 21 Years Old. I Can't Be Bothered With This"

[My3cents]

Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.

The 'this' she couldn't be bothered with is her baby!

My reaction in my mind; WOW!! Poor baby! SAD!! So sad!! I feel so bad for this baby! When I was 20 years old, I had opened my own daycare for the sole purpose of being able to spend the entire day with my baby because I loved her so much that I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing her blink her eyes once without me seeing it! My baby was my WORLD! How sad that you don't want to spend any time with this beautiful little girl!

Of course I didn't say anything like that to her, I just said, "Oh, okay, I just thought it would help you financially to not have to pay for daycare." She said " No, my parents told me the same thing. I just can't be bothered with this all day." So I again said okay, then told her to have a good day.

you make it easy for her to not have to take care of her own child. Its one thing if you can't but if you can you should. I stress this to my parents. I don't mind an occasional day to ones self but if your not working or in school come get your kid and parent the kid. If you don't know how sign yourself up for some classes and learn. I would not work with this type of client. The I don't give a poo client is not for me.

Now I have parents that send their child to me because they want social exposure for the kiddo- that is way different then just not wanting to do "this" You don't want to do it then let someone else that does have the chance- your child deserves better then that answer. UGH~

[My3cents]

Honestly...the future is scary with parents like this so plentiful nowadays.

Why on earth did this "mother" (and I use the term lightly) not give the child up for adoption...as she obviously doesn't want the poor little "thing"? There are many couples out there aching to have a little one to love.

the child is a meal ticket

[melilley]

the child is a meal ticket

That's so sad. I once had a friend who had a friend who wanted to have another baby just to get more benefits from the state. Sickening.

[CedarCreek]

That's so sad. I once had a friend who had a friend who wanted to have another baby just to get more benefits from the state. Sickening.

This is currently happening in my own family. I have numerous cousins who have children and just live off of the state. It's sickening.

At least one of them finally realized she didn't need anymore and asked me and my husband to adopt her unborn baby. Trust me, I would have in a heartbeat BUT she didn't want to go through the proper legal channels for it. There was NO WAY I was going to take him and love him and raise him just for her to come back one day and take him from us. She gave him to her mother to raise. I think about him a lot. And of course her other children that live with her.

[AmyKidsCo]

I'm so glad she's got you to love her and help her develop self-esteem. It reminds me of that line in "The Help" - "You is smart, you is kind, you is important."

[MOM OF 4]

Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.

The 'this' she couldn't be bothered with is her baby!

My reaction in my mind; WOW!! Poor baby! SAD!! So sad!! I feel so bad for this baby! When I was 20 years old, I had opened my own daycare for the sole purpose of being able to spend the entire day with my baby because I loved her so much that I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing her blink her eyes once without me seeing it! My baby was my WORLD! How sad that you don't want to spend any time with this beautiful little girl!

Of course I didn't say anything like that to her, I just said, "Oh, okay, I just thought it would help you financially to not have to pay for daycare." She said " No, my parents told me the same thing. I just can't be bothered with this all day." So I again said okay, then told her to have a good day.

Perhaps this woman should have thought about this ALL before getting pregnant, no? Some parents amaze me...sheesh. It's a good thing YOU care enough for that baby and the child's better off without her selfish "mother".

[e.j.]

Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.

So...am I reading this right? The mother's cousin pays for the child to go to day care and the mother is home all day? The mother isn't even paying for her own child to attend day care?? If I've read it correctly...Wow! It's so sad that the mother can't be bothered to spend time with her own child but I really have to wonder what the cousin is thinking! As much as I love my cousins, there's no way I'd pay for their kids to attend day care because they couldn't be bothered to raise their own kids.

[permanentvacation]

I actually had a 3 year old daycare boy on THANKSGIVING DAY!!! His grandmother went to his house to help his mother cook Thanksgiving dinner. His mother asked me to watch him because he would "just be in the way". The child was devastated! He knew his grand mom was at his house helping his mommy cook and he just wanted to help them cook. So I told him he could help me cook Thanksgiving dinner. He stirred a bowl of mashed potatoes for a good hour!! He was happy as a lark stirring those potatoes! It was so sad that his mother wouldn't just give him a bowl of potatoes to let him experience helping his own family make dinner.

[permanentvacation]

The cousin has paid me so far. They said that after the mother works a couple of weeks and is able to, she will start paying for the childcare herself.


As far as me letting the mother not be a parent, if I don't watch the child, she will just hire someone else. With the child coming to my daycare, I get my space filled and I know the child is going to a daycare where she is taken care of well, loved, wanted, safe, etc. If a parent like this is unable to find childcare for their child that they know they either don't want to take care of or can't handle taken care of, it is more likely that the parent will get frustrated with the child and harm them. So, yes, by allowing her to hire me, I am enabling her to not be forced to be the mother that she should be, but I might also be saving the child from the mother eventually losing it and harming her.

[Meeko]

The cousin may know that the child is better taken care of and loved at daycare that with the mother. So that's why she pays.

[drseuss]

I actually had a 3 year old daycare boy on THANKSGIVING DAY!!! His grandmother went to his house to help his mother cook Thanksgiving dinner. His mother asked me to watch him because he would "just be in the way". The child was devastated! He knew his grand mom was at his house helping his mommy cook and he just wanted to help them cook. So I told him he could help me cook Thanksgiving dinner. He stirred a bowl of mashed potatoes for a good hour!! He was happy as a lark stirring those potatoes! It was so sad that his mother wouldn't just give him a bowl of potatoes to let him experience helping his own family make dinner.

This made tears flow from my eyes instantly. How sad.

[Controlled Chaos]

This is the thing I have more experience with. The parents who love their children, but can't do anything with them. If the parents have a day off the kids is with me because they have to clean, or run errands etc. which I get but EVERYTIME? Maybe I am just jealous I don't ever get day off from my family and kids? If I want to clean it is with the DCKs or my 3. I haven't had Thanksgiving day before but other holidays. Kids can help! Put them to work! Teach them! So sad...

[Josiegirl]

Some parents are so selfish and feel it's all about 'mememe'. Can't be bothered? Omg. Technically, 21 is still so young, their frontal lobe not being fully developed and all that but still, that affects another person coming into this world and will continue to affect future generations of that family. A child not feeling loved....such a sad thought.